Dear God,

I know that he's gonna be okay.
I know that he's strong enough.
I know that he's gonna make it thru.
But when I looked at him today,
i felt it,
he was probably scared to death minutes before.
He was probably praying that he would be alright.
He was probably similar to a frightened little boy
despite how old he is and how tough he appears to be.
and i couldn't help it.
He was probably in pain
and for a minute there, he looked like he was struggling.
I've never seen him struggle.
I really don't think I can afford to lose him.
It's too scary to think about.
I love him too much.
he's my daddy.
Please God, keep him safe.
I still need him.

Dear Daddy,

I'm sorry if I never made you proud with sports or a talent of any sort.
Sometimes, I wish I did have such abilities.
but I don't.
and I want you to know that despite hearing about the naughty things you have done in your life, I love you nonetheless.
In fact, I love you for your brokenness.
I love how you are able to refrain from bad habits.
I love how you are okay with the things we do.
I love how forgiving you are.
I love how fun-loving you are.
I love how we can have fun just watching tv tgt.
I love watching tv and I know I got that from you.
I just want you to know that you're honestly the best father in the world
and you mean the world to us.
I look forward to weekends and watching tv with you.
I miss you before the weekends arrive.
I don't ever want to disappoint you.
I hope I don't.
Don't go daddy.
I love you.
This year, I actually made an effort to listen in mass. For Good Friday that is. & it didn't seem as long as I thought it would be. I didn't glance at my watch once. Not bad. I don't even remember Good Friday last year.
God's house warming party (a.k.a. The End of the World)



Hairdressers 'happiest at work' 
BBC News, Business.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4296975.stm
"Come to the edge," I said.
"No, we're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"No.....We're afraid.We'll fall."
"Come to the edge," I said again.
And they came.
And I pushed them.
And they flew.
"You only hate what you don't understand."
God went to the doctor
by Cynthia Rylant

And the doctor said,
"You don't need me,
you're God."
And God said,
"Well, you're pretty good
at playing me,
I figured you'd
know what the
problem was."
So the doctor
examined Him.
He couldn't find
anything wrong
except a little
skip in God's heart.
"Probably nothing,'
he told God.
"But eat more fish."
God sighed.
He was hoping
for more than that.
Maybe an antibiotic.
Or a shot.
He knew about that
skip in His heart.
He knew it was nothing
fish could cure.
The skip had started way back
when He first heard
that some people
didn't believe in Him.
It scared Him. Still does.


I really like this poem. It makes God a little more human.
Why do people complain about being backstabbed when they do so themselves?


Is it you or me?


Cleared up my desk yesterday. I started flipping through my old notebooks and school diaries, etc. It was nice to remember the silly things we used to do in school and at home in the past. :) I threw out some things that weren't as important to me as I thought they would be. I wonder if my priorities will change as I look through my stuff ten years down the road. But that's quite unlikely.

I read 'What happened to Cass McBride?' recently and the note the protagonist's brother left was pretty heartbreaking.

Words are teeth.
They eat me alive.
Feed on my corpse instead.
- David Kirby

Looks like sticks, stones and words all hurt people.


& the best is no one knows who you are,
just another girl alone at the bar.





Though my love is insane,
Reason calms the pain in my heart
Telling me to be patient and keep hoping.



For a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself.
For a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself.
Well, I'm afraid that I,
Well, I'm afraid that I,
Well, I'm afraid that I, I lost myself, I lost myself.


Christmas was GOOD. :)


Breathe for love tomorrow,
Cause there's no hope for today.
Breathe for love tomorrow,
Cause maybe there's another way.
Sulk sulk sulk.
I wish I had an excuse to escape the work.
I don't want to do it.
and we're running out of time AGAIN.
One more week till school starts.

Christmas is comingggggggggggggg.
I'm a little excited. :)
But then again, what do we expect during Christmas?
It's supposed to be a magical and joyous period.
And I hope it will be JUST THAT.

I noticed your eyes are always glued to me,
keeping them here,
it makes no sense at all.
I asked for love,
I asked for mercy,
I asked for patience
but you're already all of these things.
I asked for love,
I asked for mercy,
I asked for patience
but you're already all of these things.
I asked for love,
I asked for mercy,
I asked for patience
but you're already all of these things.
Oh, you are.
Oh, you are.
I asked for love,
I asked for mercy,
I asked for patience
but you're already all of these things.
I asked for love,
I asked for mercy,
I asked you for sunshine
and I thank you for the hard rain.
Oh, I thank you for the rain.
I asked for love
but you're already all of these things.
If I knew what I needed,
If I knew what was good for me,
I'd, I'd get down on my knees,
begging please please please
let your light shine bright inside of me.
Shine in me.
Oh I know that you're already all of these things.



I found this on elaine's blog.
It was super sweet. :)

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth” - Billy, 4

A 4 year old kid said this. Can you believe it? At 4, I don't think I even thought of love. Or at least what love actually was.

But my favourite of the lot was this:

“You really shouldn’t say ‘i love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, 8

This explains why I don't say it that often, Charlene. :)


Have some composure,
Where is your posture?
You're pulling the trigger,
pulling the trigger all wrong.

Give me envy,
give me malice.
Baby, give me a break.



:D





She is really A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. Her hair just says it all.

I'm enjoying the holidays so far. Thailand was good and in a way, a refresher. 10 days away and it zoomed by so quickly. I was able to day dream a little more during the long rides cause my ipod was a bust. It was nice to know I was missed when I got back. :)
I can't imagine myself in any other course now that I'm in DADP. It feels right and I feel comfortable with the people in it. It's funny how I couldn't wait for the holidays to come and now that they are here, I wonder what to do with it.


Goodbye for now
I'm not the type to say I told you so
Goodbye for now, so long.
Charlene's got me hooked on Beautiful Love, it is such a sweet song.

Maybe a greater thing will happen, maybe all will see.
Maybe our love will catch like fire as it burns through me.

I went to baybeats last friday and it was AWESOME. The bands that played were pretty good, especially Typecast. They ROCK. Watching them perform made me yearn for it. The stage, the head banging, the whole nine yards. I can just close my eyes and imagine the whole process. The getting on stage, the welcoming dark and cool atmosphere and the screaming of fans (however small the number).
We'd walk towards the microphone and the headbanging begins once the guitar and drums hit their first note. Damn, I want this so bad. All the jumping, flipping, screaming. I'd love to attend an underoath/saosin concert.
SOMEONE SEND ME A TICKET, PLEASE! :D
But sadly, I don't have the guts to do it. To cover underoath and saosin songs. To scream and sing. To actually be in a band. For now, I think I'll stick to STAWBELLY's comfort zone, 'performing' for DADP.


Your image's stamped beneath
The insides of my heart
Now you're gone, I don't know where to start


OMGGGGGGG.
Today was one of the BEST days I've had in DADP ever! I never would have expected it to have evolved into a rock concert. Again.(No, we didn't just have a rock concert. No we're weren't doing screamo. And no, we were not moshing. hahahahahahaha!) It all started when charlene and I were in our "jamming studio" singing (as usual). and we asked jannah to come over to join us. She brought her laptop over and we watched live performances of saosin and underoath. Then, for some strange reason, we started watching boy band videos! The ones we listened to in our younger days like Backstreets Boys, A1 and even N'Sync. Whoa, it was so damn fun. We watched pussycat doll videos as well and we tried to imitate them. hahahahahahaha! With the chairs and all in the BUTTONS video. IT WAS ALL TOO DAMN FUNNY. So when the last class ended (the previously mentioned activities were ongoing during cc btw.), we blasted our music and danced in front of class, though we had no idea who was actually watching.
WHOA, it was heaven when we did translating the name and writing on the walls. I will never forget the feeling of swinging your hair all over the place along with the beat. And to think this was all without the actual stage, lighting and instruments. If we had them all, I'd literally go mental, in a good way.

Ezzat and Wee peng were acting gay and all, with each other and they actually 'devised' and played out different scenes in class today, during our concert. But the funniest part was that Jiten and Thomas entered the scene as construction workers! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I could laugh at this FOREVER!

I want to do the concert again! :D
So we could head bang and scream and mosh again! :D
WOOOOHOOOOOOO!



Backstreet's Back, alright!
Today was Laugh Laugh Laugh Day coz I seriously laughed laughed laughed so much today. It all started when thomas wanted to play the 'shen dan lao ren' game with Jieying (was it Jieying?) so I stood and watched. Thomas didn't even recite the rhyme, just did some actions in a matter of like 3 seconds and the game started just like that. OMG, it was the first time I've seen such a version so I burst out laughing till it was hard to breathe. That was yesterday. So today, we all took turns playing it but i realised I couldn't keep a straight face for more than 5 seconds. That Pearlyn would go flare her nostrils but I'm immune to that already. I would then twitch my eye when I played with Jieying and she'd laugh.

And today, Pearlyn and I went crazy in Daiso. When we were about to pay, Pearlyn took this packet of rubberbands for tying hair and asked me "Eh Stacey, how much is this ah?" I burst out laughing. Hahahahahaha!

THOM-MAS SELEMAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I didn't get it at first.




To wake up, she fucks the pain.
Wears make up to hide the shame.
Misery Business by Sea of Treachery


It's a metal cover of Paramore's Misery Business. :)

Dear God,

I know that he's gonna be okay.
I know that he's strong enough.
I know that he's gonna make it thru.
But when I looked at him today,
i felt it,
he was probably scared to death minutes before.
He was probably praying that he would be alright.
He was probably similar to a frightened little boy
despite how old he is and how tough he appears to be.
and i couldn't help it.
He was probably in pain
and for a minute there, he looked like he was struggling.
I've never seen him struggle.
I really don't think I can afford to lose him.
It's too scary to think about.
I love him too much.
he's my daddy.
Please God, keep him safe.
I still need him.

Dear Daddy,

I'm sorry if I never made you proud with sports or a talent of any sort.
Sometimes, I wish I did have such abilities.
but I don't.
and I want you to know that despite hearing about the naughty things you have done in your life, I love you nonetheless.
In fact, I love you for your brokenness.
I love how you are able to refrain from bad habits.
I love how you are okay with the things we do.
I love how forgiving you are.
I love how fun-loving you are.
I love how we can have fun just watching tv tgt.
I love watching tv and I know I got that from you.
I just want you to know that you're honestly the best father in the world
and you mean the world to us.
I look forward to weekends and watching tv with you.
I miss you before the weekends arrive.
I don't ever want to disappoint you.
I hope I don't.
Don't go daddy.
I love you.