So.. U are still visiting this blog hopefully i will unlock it one day right? Muahhaha... Just jk... Anyway, ive moved to thoughts-and-confessions.blogspot.com

Thanks for reading my crap. Visit the link to continue reading more crap!

I'm confiding to u again... Kindda teared when i thought of u again... I really wanna see u but yet scared that the feeling might just erupt again and i might fall in love with u again.. Well iam gg army soon, so i guess i wil forget u eventually... Glad that ur doing well after looking at ur fb pics... My mood's been very unpredictable these few days cox of u... Haiz...

Damn it hurts so badly... The bad habbit is back to taunt and haunt every inch of my mind again... What are u doing, how are u, are u coping well? Do u ahve friends and why u dun wanna contact me anymore... ARGH!!!! WHY AM I THINKING OF THESE THINGS AGAIN!!!! TELL ME TELL ME!!!

我每天都在思念你。。。
不知不觉已变成一种习惯了。。。

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Is it that iam too picky and not contended with my life, family and friends that i tend to rattle alot bout how unhappy i am with them... And everytime i wonder if they also think of the same way as what i think of them...

I find it hard to commmunicate with my dad already cox he is always so fustrated venting his anger on me... Like when i sprain my ankle he actually said "are u creating trouble outside or not", like what the fuck la..!!! Sprain very common what... Not like i am outside beating up pple...

And today when i went to see a doc and he actually had other plans to go and visit yu xin, he said i ruin the plan cox of me needing to see a doc... WTF!!! Like seriously, beforehand i told him already and yet he still blame me... Cannot see another day meh? My leg less impt than seeing her meh??!! WTF lo... Haiz... Iam disapointed with this fuked up life man... I want to find someone to confide to.. But i dun have... ARGH!!!

Well the whole day, ive been slping... watching shows and catching up on anime episodes which ive missed... Man, its been long since ive enjoyed and immerse myself in all these shows... Also spent my time thinking bout u... Its been long since i last saw u... Think i will try avoiding u for now... Am i being a bastard? damn... i feel like a coward...

It seems that i have this ability to think of another when my brain decides to switch channel and think bout u... My heart's screaming for ur love... Damn how i wish u will feel this way for me too... This incident has taught me a lesson... Try wooing a girl u like and give urself 1 yr to suceed, if all else fails then DO NOT try to stay too close to her... If not the person who will ultimately suffer will be you...


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If only i can be your angel,
to keep u safe from danger...
Your nv hurt again...
I will be your shadow staying behind the moonlight which shines on you...

The thoughts
the pains
the constant looking through of ur photos and ur fb
the constant thoughts of our past outings
the desire to have u in my arms
the intensity to yearn for u
the freaking brain which makes my thoughts go haywire with images of u popping everywhere
the jealousy of the life ur leading now
the thought of losing u even as friends
the anger
the sadness
the tears tha i shed for u
the heart that waits for no one for u

it all sums up to madness i think. i really love u... No one can ever replace u...

Iam sad, but i dunno at what... I sometimes prefer to be friendless and aloof.. Its kindda happier that way instead of worrying what to say or that i might offend them... I think i tried accomodating them already... But its just the disparity, the difference in interests and the words and actions which hurts me constantly.. All of them are treating me like a clown... No more serious conversations, no more heart to heart talks... This is not my concept of friends... Friends do not go around offending u with stupid words, friends do not inflict verbal abuses, friends do not mention bout unhappy thing and make fun of it, friends do not "instruct" pple to do things, friends do not implant their ideas into u, friends do not make it ovious that in the group of them ur the odd one out.. yet i see these traits becoming more and more obvious amongst my clique.. I dunno if iam the one whose wrong or what, but i dun feel their friendship, i dun feel that they care bout how i feel... Like the idea of 3 vs 1... It sucks... And i totally dunno what to talk bout to them cox we all have different interests... Its tiring man... But iam touched cox when iam drunk they cared for me, this i know.. But like what i say its our major differences and maybe my hyper sensitiveness that makes me wanna not hang with them in the future... Cox i always feel that they dunno how i feel when they always make fun of me... I do feel that its ok, but after a while they start getting ridiculou and make fuking comments and worse still, the other 2 just sat there and listen and not support me and when iam pissed off, they asked whats happening to me... I prefer not to say anythign cox iam tired of it... They may think iam temperimental and wierd... And i know they do not like to hang out with me either so why bother maintaining such a tiresome friendship huh. I rather end it now...

ARGH!! Aside from that, the girl tht i like has not even replied to my sms... WTH is wrong with u!!?? I feel so lousy, and the only place where i can seek comfort from is my family and iam thankful to them cox i know they are always there for me when iam down... They are the only ones who respects and supports... Shares my problems and most imptantly, we have common topic...

The trip was supposed to be a fun one... But in the end it made me very unhappy... Not their fault though... Its just that the talks bout soccer, trades, FMetc i just could not find a leg into it.. I always sit there and listen to them talk... It sucks not knowing what they are toking... And i always gave stupid comments to be a little "involved" with the gang... And i think the trip will be a fun one without me... Its like the 3 of them belong to the same clique and iam always the one behind following them... Maybe iam too attention seeking... But all in all, they are a great bunch of friends but not too suitable for me or shall i say i just dun fit in the puzzle... Ive tried but all failed... Maybe iam just a fuking irritant who keeps saying stupid comments and they all find me rather stupid... I too find myself very ignorant bout the world... Just cannot seemed to keep up with their conversation...

And i always though it will be relaxing and comfortable with friends around but when iam with them, i feel like iam being left out... Not that they do it on purpose or what but its just that i dunno what they are toking bout half of the time so how the hell am i supposed to even make comments...

And i always think that the closer pple are, the more they are taken for granted... Thats the way human works in the end, we get all too close and start hurling stupid comments and ended up being hurt ourselves... We can always try to smile it off, but at the of the day, we know that in our hearts we do not like pple making negative comments bout us...

But i think its my fault for always being hyper sensitive and ruin the outing but its because i felt left out... I dun feel like being part of the group anymore... i dunno what happened to me seriously... But maybe its a large difference in interests...

23 AUG 2008... Everything finally settled.. We had a heart to heart talk... She still wants us to be friends... I tried to laugh it over, smile.. And not put on a face.. Its so hard, ver hard... There were awkward moments... But i tried to resolve it lready cox i know u feel very bad already.... I understand... Just want u to know that its not ur fault or what so dun feel guilty...

Iam feeling so fuking depressed... I dunnno why... Its so hard to even breathe now... So painful, it felt like my heart is shred to pieces... Why is it that all girls whom i like keep saying the same things like iam too good of a friend thus cannot be a couple... Indeed my approach to girls is wrong.. very wrong... And end up that the girl i like the most wanna be my best friend...

I dun want to be just friends thus iam gonna avoid u now... I cannot even face u now... Its so difficult... Its so hard.. I cannot console u cox iam too hurt... I seriously feel very sad... very.

Looking through at the achievements of various pple, it got me going and ask myself what i want in life again... Many times i wondered what i am good at... And at the end of the day, i am always saying "iam good at nth". I always tell pple that my entry into SMU is just by luck.. Its just luck that i did well for the interview...

Even my FYP, as compared to those doing a real and proper one for companies or research, iam ashamed of it. Cox we kindda faked it... It is not applicable in real life though it is good... Actually ive always kept this in my heart but i nv like using a company to do a project and to fake it and say the company think its good or the company approves it...

Pple if u have a chance ask urselves do u have what it takes to suceed in life, instead of pondering and asking what life can give u... Pple who suceed has found the path and strive hard for it... Whilst others such as me, who loves day dreaming bout sucess cannot help but apprehend the fact of being consumed by failure and can only DREAM bout sucess...

I promise that i will work hard but that will be after my NS... LOL... Empty promises again...

Well... Glad that your leading such a enriched life... Look through ur facebook etc... Finally my anger kindda dissipated... What's wrong with mr chua nowadays... Keep changing mind like a woman...

Looked through the photos we have taken etc... I know things on sat might get ugly... Maybe its the last meetup and soon i wil be in NS and then after i come out, iam gonna go SMU and know many pple particularly girls and try to forget u like how i forget the girl i knew in sec sch...

Thats the painting i have for my life though... NS, such a fuking waste of time... If it weren't you, i might have been going through what she is gg through now... Same sch, attending camps, probably same class and life could be like when we were in NP... And i might have another shot... But they always say once, twice and thrice will be the limit.... The fourth and later can get uglier...

How true huh... I really miss her now, anyone can tell me what to do?

Unsaid things, unsaid feelings kindda churns out the madness thread by thread in me..
Just like how a rubber band snaps under pressure, i might one day just snap...

Bit by bit iam losing myself, not to anything or anyone but you...
Ive lost the battle of this one sided warfare...
You've won gloriously...
Congrats cox at the end of the day in the battle of one sided love, the one who always gives more will lose...
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I think iam mad... Cox i spent 12 hours straight on the com, apart from the constant breaks... Finally finished first season of chuck... Its very nice! Thanks brenda for the recommendation... And tonight's another night where i can't slp again..

Ive been thinking bout u again...

Well... u said lets meet on sat hopefully it will not be another "sorry i could not make it" reply... U seemed to be too overly non chalant bout my feelings.. U know how much turmoil and sadness over this fuking issue which seemed so small to u.. And u had to make it worse by saying haha thats why i say meet on this sat la... PLs la... U din even apologize or what... I was damn angry, upset and unhappy... U weren't the perfect girl that i knew of anymore.. Insensitive, and overly non chalant...

Finally i said out how i felt and yet i have to wait, wait and wait... ARGH!! U know how simple things like puntuality, promise can be very particular to me.. U might think iam over reacting, or why is he saying all these shit.... But yea, i had to let u know how i feel.... If not u will always be like that all ur life...

I had every fuking reasons to not like u, but why is it that at the end of the day after rantings and tonnes of rantings that i still think of u? I dun understand, i can nv know... I loved u too deep, lets put an end this sat... I dun even feel like toking to u now... I dunno how love can become a dislike... But anyhow, the issue of the lets be friends and stuff, come on... U knew that i like u yet u always avoid it... But i understand love isn an equation that can be forced to the minds of individual.. I will understand...

hate less and love more... I tried, and its fruitless....

any lonely hearts out there share the same sentiments as me.. the feeling of "u might meet her" when u pass by places like her sch, home or somewhere near her place... Damn... i feel like a stalker... Passed by places, bus stops etc that reminded me of her... Can't help but feel kindda emo... It hurts... The way she wanna end our friendship and leaving the OUTSTANDING issue like ive nv mentioned it before... Even friends will contact each other once in a while but no... She did not... And i can;t be bothered cox i took too many "first steps"... She's the one who forsakens me... Why should i even give a damn bout gentlemanlism and give in to her by smsing her and wish her well? Iam selfish and downright stingy... I know... But i can't help but react in this way... Unless she takes the first step to meetup... If not, i wun ask her out cox iam like that... Week after week ive been askign u out saying can we meet tomorrow if ur free and ur reply: next week... cox iam not free and then when next week comes *in anticipation* u gave a fuking sms on the very day when we were about to meet up and say ur not free... What do u treat me as?

Mind u... Pple with a little sense of responsibility will sms their friends earlier to tell then that they are nto free on the day... Thanks for making me have another point to dislike u.... But amongst the turmoil, my heart constantly seeks out for u... I dunno why... Iam having this "wtf" feeling... Like iam being cheated though iam not... Yea i know gan chiong thomas in the house again... Paranoid, sensitive and small gas.... There's nth i can do bout it....

Ever wonder howu wish for someone to miss u when ur in NS... To have a girl to wait for u till u complete ur en route to manhood... how nice huh... I want one too!!! How i wish i have a gf.... To be able to hug, care and shower her with love... And how i wish i could be hugged... I really wanna know how it feels to be hugged by someone u love... Not my family though but a kind of heart which shows that ur needed and yet being protected at the same time u know? Damn... Ive been feeling REALLY low these nights... I wonder how i even get by every single day without u... ANyway congrats to u... ur on ur road to a thomas-free life...

我想你想到快疯了。。。
我已无药可救了。。。
只有和你一起才能了结我的痛苦。。。

Stayed at home and did nth but watch anime and shows...Prefer this kindda lifestyle... Guess iam too used to it already... Have not been watching movies these few weeks cox ur not here to accompany me also... Even if ur free, i doubt that i would go out with u any sooner... It makes me harder to forget u... I cannot remain with u as frenzzz cox i gave in too much love... Whateva it is, iam trying my very best to forget u... And i know u will meet ur true love someday... Hope u will get ur well deserved happiness soon...

Kindda realized something... Its IMPOSSIBLE to even not think of u... What do i want or expect exactly? I really dunno... Flings, what are they? The problem with pple is that we treat love as something so insignificant... Iam a bit tempted though to look for flings.. But its just not the type of thing for me... Iam proud to say i remained gf-less all these yrs... Maybe true love like what my peers said, will come eventually.. Just have to wait...

Can't slp again tonight... Been feeling very upset, yet its repressed.. I dunnno hwo to describe this feeling... Its filled with so much anguish and sadness but yet at the same time, once ignored, this feeling will just diminished... Wierd...

Guess i realy love u too deep... I canot do it... Iam so weak afterall... There's nth i can possibly do... Iam so angry that i feel like ignoring u, yet at the same time, i wanna see u... I dunnno what to do at all... My heart's filled with so much turmoil...

How i wish i could forget u so easily and just move on with my life... =(

I gave in too much, but none of it got back... Iam so fuking tired of thinking bout u and our issue already... Its so tiring man.... One side of me is so angry that i dun wish to see u at all, but yet the other side of me wants to see u... Damn... Iam such an indecisive fellow... At the end of the story, its just lovers or strangers... Choose one...

Hey girl thanks for ur non chalant attitude... U made me fuking irritated.. Some things are better left unsaid... Time's up, the whole thing's over... Iam calling it quits.. Nv knew that loving someone is becoming a burden..

I seem to have that special power to make my friends angry... ARGH!
Note to self: Be more careful with words... Do not be a big mouth...

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Finally my mood is back after taken its toll for so long... R/s ya i know wun work out... Maybe i will meet someone better like wad uve said last time...

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Suddenly i thought of ya again... Looked through ur pics and the saved conversations we've had... Felt very sad that i cannot have such a girl like ya... ARGH!! Iam really at a loss now...

Iam still depressed... I just can't put it down... How i wish i can just anyhow like someone so that i can forget u... Iam feeling very very miserable inside... The desire is so strong that it kindda overwhelms me... I really dunno what to do now... Sometimes i wish my frenzz would just stop rubbing salt into my wound... It just hurts...

Cried last night, cried this morning, cried even when iam listening to songs... Tears just roll down unknowningly... I dunno what to do now... Last time i harbour hopes of being with u... Its my fault for not being ur tpe of guy, my fault for forcing u to give me a reply, my fault for myself to confess to u through only smsing...

It hurts so bad esp. when iam alone... Whatever it is, when iam in ns, things might get better... I will forget u but still will be ur bestie... Thats the way things should be kept... 30/7/08- 4th rejection...

It hurts... Really hurts... Ive got no more tears already... Iam out of it... Its not anyone's fault... Dun feel guilty, i will understand... Give me time... Time will erase everything... I will forget u eventually... For now, i just wanna be left alone...

Went to NUH on fri... They stuck a tube like thingy by poking needle into my vein... And mind u it was near the knuckle area and it freaking hurts..! Then the doc asked me to sit on this machine like thingy which looks like a huge gigantic scanner and scan my kidneys to see if the artery is narrow or not... If it is, i might need a surgery... =(

At first i was VERY reluctant to tell the guys bout my condition but decided afterall... I tried to make it look less obvious of my anxiety... Haiz... Can only blame myself but no one...

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Monday's approaching and what's ur decision? SOmehow i know its gonna be another rejection.. Iam kindda ready for it... If all else fails, i will only be ur good fren... Damn... You made me go sleepless for several nights already do u know that..!!

But iam glad i took the first step and expressed my feelings... If not i might just harbour false hope foreva when iam around u.. Pls, if u wanna reject me, do it more agreesively... That would wake me up...

Damn... Can't slp last night.. U said u will only give me a reply next week when we meet up!!! Hopefully it will be a good news... I wun know what to do if it was yet another rejection but like what i said, this will be the final time i will ask... ARGH!!! iam seriously feeling VERY anxious...

I feel like rushing u to just tell me your answer!! But i know u prefer to tell me personally... Which might be good... Though my heart kindda know that it will still be a rejection... But i carry some hope and even imagine us being couple... Stupid me huh... Still behaving so naively...

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Anyway, the trip to NUH was ok... Lucky, my urine and blood tests came out ok... So maybe its my artery that is causing the problem... Have to go for another scan tml.. And we will get the result on mon... Hopefully everything will go smoothly...

If u ask me why i love u,
Its because you are you
and ur unique...
There is only one and only you in this world, so dun ask me why i like u...
Cox ur special...
Just like how u can't explain the universe,
you can't expect me to answer this question...
Cox i love u for who u are...
U are unique and thats why...

Finally u replied and said u will talk to me next week... Damn.. Still have to wait for ur reply till next week man... ARGH!! How i wish i know it now...!

The outing with you today seriously rejuvenates me! Though i did not plan the outing properly but still looking at the face when u smile was the greatest feeling ive got... Its a sense of undescribeable satisfication...

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Finally the cowardly me has confessed... I wun know how it works out unless i asked right? But i dun dare to ask face to face so i'd rather sms her... Really dun wanna make the situation to be so awkward... Haiz... still no reply from u... Probably ur aslp... Pls god, i really love this girl... Pls let some kind of miracle happen...

Finally an outing with you!!! I was so excited that i can't sleep at all man... Woke up early and i kept smiling to myself... Guess iam already obsessed tooo much about u already!! This lingering and tingling sensation that i have been feeling since yest. just seemed to last.. And i really hope that it will last... Today i picked up the courage to finally decided to confess to you later...
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I keep having this feeling that my frenzzz no longer need me and that iam just there to make up for the numbers... Maybe my personality irks them too much... maybe iam just pure irritating... But iam ust trying to be funny and bring some laughters... In the end maybe i made some of them unhappy... Its so tiring to maintain friendship and i seriously meant that... Hiaz... Anyone teach me to be a better man?

Went swimming with GL, marcus and kel... Swam quite a few laps, went to lazy pool and wave pool... Very fun... Then went home and zz came... After which we went down for bball... Met some motherfukers who played VERY rough... But who cares... We still won..!!!

Life's been pretty boring without u around... It seems ur enjoying ur life and willing to stay this way forever... Hiaz... I really cannot pluck any courage to say the 3 words ive been longing to say... I can only say it here though...

I LOVE U!!!!!!! Haha, sounds mushy and lame right... But thats what i really wanna say... Maybe its rejection that i fear... Whatever the case i will ask soon!!! Cox i really want u....

I miss you so much!!!!
I keep thinking of you esp. ur smile, ur siliyness...
I worry that you might find tonnes of fantastic guys during the camp or when u study...
I might not even stand a chance by then huh...

Dun u guys have this feeeling where thoughts of the person u like just pops out even 2 sec and it starts to irritate u...

Iam planning for a confession but iam afraid of failure...
I experienced it before and it definitely is not good...
I know i dun stand much chance...
Even if we were together, i forsee many problems...
But iam just going to give my all for u...
But when will i do that, i do not know...

Anyway, today was plain boring... Played bball with chris they all.. Its very fun... And i felt that playing bball is kindda diferent from going out with my friends... I feel kindda relaxed and happy... But when iam with them, i dunno if its me, or them but the way they made me feel, its as if iam very dispensable... Like even if iam there or not, they would not care... When i was admitted in the hospital and stuff... i was hoping for smses to ask if iam alright or not... Even if they did not come, i wun mind too... But maybe its my fault for hiding it from them...

I know i can be a sucker at times... But sometimes they made me feel like iam always in the wrong... Haiz... Perhaps true frenzzz are hard to find... Even the one whom i thought of was true has changed... Times where we go to one another house for a game of w11 or conversations on phone are long gone...

Seems like i can only rely on my family and bball and her to make me happy...
I really miss u, pearl... I feel like shouting out ur name and hold ur hands and be there for u.. Its been like this for 3 yrs... Though there were times when i thought i din like u as much as i do... But everytime when iam with u, i feel happy.. Gone are the days whhere we will watch movie and eat dinner... Even though iam such a boring guy who cannot seem to plan out each outing session, but u still agreed to come... Now ur finding every excuses to not go out with me, perhaps i dun stand a chance anymore... Iam just a failure huh.

Well nuff said, i locked this up so i can read it... I do not ahve anymore intention of making it public anymore.. Perhaps someday i will.... Till then this blog shall be mine, solely mine...

With regards to my previous post on you... I apologise if it sounded one sided cox i was really trying to say that both of u should change to make this r/s a better one... Anyway with regards to the previous post i should not have said those things... But now i know the reason for what has happened... Hope that the conversation we had do not cause further misunderstanding... And i apologise once again...

Friends is such a difficult thing to comprehend... Like being overly concerned and u sound like ur a big time KPO, or when u dun concern urself much with ur frenzzz they will say that ur so cold towards them... Either way, it sucks... I honestly hate to maintain friendship cox its kindda tiring... You have to choose ur words, u cannot anyhow shoot ur opinion, cox everyone will shoot u back a hundred times more... So maybe i should not give a damn bout their problems.. We will just meet, have a meal or smth and at the end of the day say goodbye...

Anyway that aside... I wonder if its just me or whether u guys have the habit of being very happy at one min and become very emo the other minute... I dunno why i like to emo though i have nth much to be sad bout... Ok ok though i have... And sometimes u get agitated for nth and feel like venting ur anger unnecessary... I also dunno why... Maybe iam overly pampered that i always show my attitude... Oh shit, the emo me has just shown itself again... LOL.

I know iam being wierd but dear friends, pls bear with me... LOL... Nights all~

The roadtrip is finally over... Very very fun... Went to many places to eat, eat and eat... Thanks to marcus and gl for being our chauffers... Overall spent too much, so much so that i got a little unhappy with myself for spending too much money and eating too much!! LOL... But its all worthwhile... Since its like one of the last road trip gathering we are gonna have...

Iamma get a well deserved rest.. Nights all...
PS: the way marcus and gl says "Mao Shan Wang" keeps ringing in my head.. Ouch...

This love is getting very unbearable... I know iam a fuking timid guy... Iam unsure of what i think... *&%&*#%&*#&*#$$

The most awesome song eva by coldplay!!! Tried to decipher the meaning but iam no christian nor a am interested in the France King LOuis XVI's history... But this song kindda leads u on how a person could possess the power to make changes to how vulnerable he can be...



Viva La Vida
Coldplay
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries Wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

Hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh

Sometimes, staying at home, doing nth... Losing contact of the world... With only you and ur thoughts can be a good thing... Finally i figured things out.. You can't always have things going ur way... Tomolo will be going for checkup again... Hopefully its a small problem... If not, iam stuck with eating that damn medicine for the rest of my life... Ciao...

Tonnes of things happened these past few days... Iam not very willing to tok bout it here.., But all i can say is that iam still alive and fine...! LOL... tc all, might not be updating this bloggie for some time... Or maybe when i suddenly the mood to blog next week, i will.

I wun get any closer to u if something turns out wrong...
I do it for the sake of our own good...
Iam sorry for the ignores and aloofness to u....

Tomorrow will be the result... Finally the turmoil of awaiting 3 weeks has finally come... My parents seems to know bout my worries however much i tried to hide my anxiousness and fear from them... Buti chose to go alone tomolo... Perhaps there is nth wrong with me, perhaps iam making an issue out of nth... Whatever it is, i will face it tomolo...

Before u say stupid things like i nv help out with housework, or i idle at home doing nth.... PLs use ur fuking pea brain to think!!! Cox i dun deserve that kind of accusations... Din i stay at home and help clean the floor? Din i help clean the table... Din i help to wash the plates... And to think i even deserve all these fuking bullshit.. If ur feeling down, go vent ur anger else where not on this home... I guess i better start working so that i dun have to fuking idle the whole day at home... So much for doing nth huh... And thanks to my mother who din help defend me... I have to suffer these fuking accusations myself...! Be glad that i din argue back cox i will make things very ugly... Trust me, iam capable of doing so cox i hate pple who take me or my concerns for them for granted... I feel that iam being taken for granted sometimes... I tried concerning pple, but in the end all i get is stupid fuk up big time attitude reply and accusations...

Iam no longer ur puppet, i will do what i want with no restrictions... !!! Fuk this world!

I miss u so fuking much!!

I woke up at a freaking time of 1.30 pm today thus nv follow my dad to malacca... Youtubed and went for bball session... Sit down and tok cock with the pple till bout 1045pm and went home... Now doing nth... My life's that boring thus it shows how "interesting" my blog is... Anyway, no mood to blog further.... Ciao...

U asked other pple out when ur free and now i ask, u said u are busy...

Sometimes i feel that iam being too thick skin... Although i lost, but i still wanna get to the finishing line... Ur so unpredictable, blowing hot and cold, i seriously dunnno what to do... Iam at a lost...

to that person whom i met up with just now: Iam sorry... i knwo u must be thinking iam being fking ridiculous... Hope ya understand how upset i am.. and thanks for not being angry with me though i kindda know u are... thanks and buddies always ya...

Sometimes...
The importance of you in the person's heart can be seen through actions...
And it feels f**king awful when u know u are left out and she would rather ask other pple out than u...

I know iam being ridiculous but this is how i feel... Maybe i should not demand too much and i'd rather be kept in the dark of some things...

My current desktop pic...



See how much i love u guys...!

As i walked into the hospital, i saw many patients who are injured
And immediately iam scared stiff...
How i wish my parents were there to accompany me...
I refused to look scared and put on a brave front
As I lay on the bed beside a doc who uses a machine to check...
A sudden chill of fear flows through my body...
I dunno if its bad news or good news until after 3 weeks...
And the agony of wait starts now...
WIsh me luck, guys....

Tml's a big day for me... I get jitters just thinking bout it... WIsh me luck though... Pray that everything will be alright for me...

I searched my pics and i found this pic... Nice effect huh... hehe..



Anyway, my family left me all alone at home and went out in the morning and afternoon... I was practically youtubing all the way... Initial plan was to go wild wild wet.. But all of them mabuk after drinking session yest. Lucky i went home early cox i was kindda mabuk... Woke up with a slight headache though...

Went down for bball again... Fun day, cox there were many pple there... Played quite a number matches...

Anyway iamma slp now... Just drank like 2 cups of tea.. Am i crazy or what... ciao...


I need a getaway
away from you...
Somewhere where it does not remind me of ur existence...

好累啊！
我真的爱你爱得好累了...
如今我陷入着一种局面，
是不是我自找的呢？

也许少了你，
我的痛苦会减少一些些
但是我知道有了你，
我的人生一定是灿烂的。。。

Waiting for your sms
waiting for ur call
waiting for you...
My life's all bout waiting for you now...
All of a sudden ive lost the single ray of hope...
And now Iam back to square one again...

When love has taken its toll on you...
You will realised that 3/4 of your time is spent on missing her,
and the rest of 1/4 is to find every possible excuse to see her...
True enough, this process is very taxing to mind
but its the price to pay for loving someone you yearn to have... =)

Boring day!!! Iam sure marcus agrees on this 100%.. LOl..

Enough of the laments... Iam glad i can be lamenting on a boring day... This year's been a yr full of tragedies... With the recent Si chuan earthquake and myanmar's tornado... its saddening man... As usual, i can only feel for them, but i couldn't do anything... Ima that useless... We always sympathise these victims yet we din do anything... At the end of the day, after posting this post, i will go use my com and watch tv rather than think of ways to help these pple... Monetary donations are easy, make a phone call and u donate some money and thats it... Pple who have this thinking, come on, u and i know that this is not so much of helping.. I know money to them is important but i believe that being there for them is more impt... And that is why i feel so useless cox i can't do anything except to donate money...

Ok, enough of such depressing post... ciao, tc peeps... And where are the grad photos!!!!??

Maybe iam so unlikeable that i dun attract any girls... ARGH.. Love matters are so fustrating!!!!!!!

Went to watch What happens in Vegas... Definitely a good show... The chemistry and humor between caeron diaz and ashton kutcher was fantastic... iam nv a ashton kutcher fan cox he is kindda loud but now i appreciate him more... Haha..

Went to marina square and bought myself a stussy canvas shoes for like 66 bucks onlY! Then went to fei cui to have dinner... That sums up the day...

Anyway iam bloody tired now... Gotta head to bed soon... nights...



A fun day out! =)

Today's graduation was smooth and fantastic and very fast too... Will do a proper update after i got all the photos from Sheela... After the graduation then went to causeway point de dian xiao er and had dinner with my family and join my crazy crew for another round of buffet dinner at quality hotel.. Talk lots of nonsense and crap alot! Haha...

In the meanwhile, shall show ya guys some pics taken with my family...

My dad and mum showed their support... Thanks!!


Mine family and i gotta a little crazy and started doing this


As if that wasn't enough, we tried to act cute... Sorry for the obession of my family witht he auto timer of the camera... Let rule this, cam whores! lolz...


And lastly, iam a proud graduand of Ngee ann BIT 2008.. Thanks to all lecturers, family and esp. my friends cum project mates for all the support...


Ciao... More pics to come... stay tune..

***Its no child's matter when ur trying to protect the place where its filled with lots of fun and laughter with pple who share common interest away from those crude a**holes who are out to ruin the fun...!*** It may seem pretty amusing and childish to some pple who think that its just a bball court what, and its not like you own it... But would u like it if some outsiders came and make a mess of ur home and just leave...? But iam glad we won the game though iam not there.. Sorry =<

Anyway, lots of pple came to play bball... PLayed 5 V 5 with the philippine pple and i only scored one point..=(

The game got a bit rough and ended up in a hussle play... But iam glad our team won though... Hehe...

Its been a boring day... And i officially ended my work yesterday... I will miss them though but definitely not the work iam doing... Now iam just slacking my ass off and looking for another job...

Anyway, ive got nth much to update but iam pretty excited bout the grad day though! Ciao.. tc peeps.

Long time no blog already... Been very busy with orders etc.. Iam busy even when i have nth to do...ANyway last fri was marcus's last day.. Haha, i know iam stilll gonna be seeing u but kindda felt sad also... lolz.. No one accompany me take bus, no one accompany me to "pick" orders and no more scolding each pther sluts etc during work time... lolz... Now u can finally sleep ur ass off huh..

Anyway it will be my time soon which is on fri... Looking forward for it! Ive got nth much to update though... Everyday work till8ish and 9ish.. No time for anything also... U know how depressing it is to come out of the office at night... haha...

Went to collect my grad attire today.... Kindda big... But it looks nice la...

Life's been pretty fast paced... In a blink of an eye, we were out of poly awaiting uni or NS... So much things happen is such a short span of time... SO fast that i din even have the time to stop and ponder and cherish those moments... Thus, i would like to thank my poly friends for this wonderful experience and see ya guys on grad day...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Holidaying with such a scenary would be nice though... Lying on the beach with a glass of fruit punch and hearing the sound of the waves.. What more could i ask for?
Ciao.

So i went to watch iron man yesterday... Not very good.... I do have to admit that the scene where he construct the thing is good... but the fighting scenes.. come on.. all i see was a few tweenie mini misiles and lots of thrusters only... nth much fantastic... but the main lead is very humorous.. he knwos how to bring out the character of ironman... but i still prefer the cartoon version of it... =< anyway those who actually do catch these kind of cartoons, stay after the credits... the last scene will make ur day... for those who dunno, just like me... i google it and find out more bout what the after-the-credits scene meant and then i know what it is really bout...

my fav theme song of all time!!!


enjoyed my day.. =)
thanks for everything...

This is so fuking demoralising! ARGH!!

WOrk today was very relaxing without michael around... LOL iam sure marcus shares the same sentiments...Anyway, went for a farewell gathering, met up with ex fisher colleagues... Good luck to irene btw... Though she wun see this also.. LOL. Went to a posh italian restaurant but the food was KNS.. But its the company of the pple that matters...

Finally another 3 weeks of work for me... Looking forward to end it soon.. Haha, maybe i prefer slacking at home better...

Its labor day and we dun have to work! How good is that huh? Hehe... Its late already, gonna zzz... ciao...

iam thinking of you...

Officially one more month towards ending of work! Thanks guys for ur comments... Hopefully we can meet up some day again... Iam really looking forward to ending this stupid job... And tomolo's is gonna be a helluva gruesome day...

Work aside, iam kindda looking forward to a japan trip... Hopefully i can psyco my parents to take off... Wanna go many places in japan, from hokaido to tokyo and osaka.. I wanna see the tokyo tower! But the weather now is summer at japan... =<

Anyway iamma sleep now.. nights all...

The feelings which are uncontrollable...
The thoughts which pops up every second...
The words which i lacked the courage to say...
I really wish to say i <3 u

ARGH!!! Have to go back work on sat... WTF man!!! Damn sian... Anyway today i just experienced the the ugliest truth ever at work... Someone who used me and i agreed as i thought it would help him and the other guy... In the end, that guy is actually the one who caused the mistake and used me to shift the blame... Fuking ugly maggot... U sick SOB... 40 over yr old guy and ur behaving like a coward... Admit ur mistakes if u dare... I agreed to help u cox i thought since iam just a contract staff, i dun mind taking the blame and not knowing that it was u who actually caused the mistake and not someone else.. Fuking lowlife... I wish u would rot!!

Iam seriously sore bout it... Cox i was being used to cover an ugly truth... And this fking company dun give a damn bout the operation and logistics team. They just leave us to die and face the accumulating orders... Pls spare a thought for us, we are humans not machine... We wanna go home and not work till late every single fking day...!!!!!

Pardon my vulgarities cox iam not really in a good mood... Its a fking sat tomolo and i have to go back to work.. Screw u!!!!!!!!!!!!

Busy busy busy... 60 over shipments all in one day... Do until i almost peng... Anyway, this job made me realize how i easily crumble under stress... I was at my limit...! People at the logistics were taking things too easily... I am a firm believer that whatever job ur assigned to do, give it ur best shot... Its a do or not thing to me... Maybe iam overly serious over smth simple, but this is the only good side of me that i know...

I always think what iam good in... But i can;t seem to find an answer... I see friends around me having talent of their own, from designing to knowledge in using software, to knowing all road directions, logic etc... It makes me seem very insignificant....

I must admit that iam a VERY negative person... I always think of the worst possible case scenario... But to me, thinking alongside the wirst case scenario will prep me for the consequence...

Anyway, i gotta sleep now... Oh and thanks marcus for ur help always if not we might not be able to pack the stuff in time... ciao...

Feeling f**ked now... Cox i went back to work yesterday and tomolo iam expected to reach the pffice by 630am... Freaking freaking sianzzz...

Anyway received my enlistment letter, it will be on the 24th oct... Sian.. Kindda worried that i might not be in time for the august semester in 2010... ARGH!!!

Well, iam now in no mood to blog any further... Ciao...

Be my girlfriend will you??

So, from friday till sunday was days of FUN FUN and more fun! Though iam VERY shagged... From west coast to geylang to punggol to geylang again then to queenstown and to kranji etc... Nv been to so many places within 2 days plus and with good company of peeps... You guys sure made this trip a whole lot enjoyable...

And tomolo is work again.. Boo! Tiresome job man... But iam gonna give my best though... Oh ya a good news,
Bachelor of Science (Information Systems Management)Congratulations! You have been offered a place at SMU. This is subject to confirmation by SMU to you in the form of an official SMU offer letter.

Finally SMU wants me, hopefully i will be able to do well... Bad news.. Its nto the course and uni i wanted but nonetheless iam still keeping my options open.. Was very disapointed that i din get a diploma in merit... I know i wun be able to get it... Can only blame myself for being so slack during yr 1 and 2...

Anyway, iama sleep soon... So damn tired...

Yozzz... Long time no blog. Now at my grandma house... Work so far quite tiring and vexed... But luckily marcus helped me alot with dealing with the workload.. Thanks man... Anyway, i helped u backl too also hor...

Hmm.. Nth much to update also cox working now... Anyway wish brenda a happy 20th bdae... Finally u become lao char bo liao.. LOLx! Ciao... Take care all...

Lets take this loot of love
And prep up for the journey...

i realized that iam afterall a very limited person who cannot accomplish big things... iam not even able to accomplish a simple task... Iam probably one of the stupidest people in the world... feeling very deflated now...

I need you here
and i need you now...

Yesterday was a day of me being a super zai nan... Which means i dun go out nor do i associate myself with any pple... Haha, its just a day of me and my beloved PSP... Loaded tonnes of new games in it.. Muhaha~

Anyway, there were days when me and my sis were not in, my parents will always secretly go Jack's Place or other posh places to enjoy good food WITHOUT us! So we decided to take revenge and splurge on Sakae Sushi during lunch and Sarpino pizza for dinner... All 60 bucks well spent on both meals!

Just got a bad news that my cuzzie was robbed and beaten... And they are not even malaysians! Assholes man! And beside him was a friend who holds a black belt in taekwondo and he ran away! But those 2 guys were rather big sized... Anyways, hope that he is alright, it was only his first day in KL and this kindda thing had to happen... Blame it on the poor security...

And tml is my first day at work! Finally... Doing brainless job again... Haiz... Hopefully i dun pack the wrong medicine into the wrong box... LOL. ciao...

I miss how we would walk around spending 30 mins just to find some place to eat
I miss how u would imitate me, renacting my cold jokes...
I miss how u smile if i said something lame...
I miss ur the expressions you made when i make a stupid joke...
This is my love for you... For 3 yrs...
Your still as perfect as you are when i first set my sight on you...

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger
I've figured out

How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know
I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay its okay its okay

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you
I'll be the oneI will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fallI'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
I will never let you fallI'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven...

A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!! I finally got a job!!! says: *yeah...* (in a depressing tone) Not too bad, cox the pay is alright and iam doing a no-brainer job which i detest the most! Anyway thanks marcus for the job... After the interview, went for lunch with marcus and brenda... The food sucks! Pls pls pls, iam nto going there anymore man...

Anyway, went to watch Rule Number One... Ok-ok show... Not very scary but the sound scared the hell out of us... Thanks for the company...

Well... Today is the day where my beloved cuzzie is setting off to KL to study.. And i just realised that ima kindda fortunate as i have options here, unlike them... Very hard to find a place to further studies... Wish him all the best.

Lastly... Anyone wanna watch Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (not) Alone ?? I seriously love this anime to core but none of you guys like animes huh... Sian, think iam gonnna watch ALONE... Poor me.. Btw cathay is killling us man... 10 fking bucks for movie on a thurs?! Seriosuly what the hell are u thinking? Stop ripping us off.... We are not rich kids fed with gold spoons!

ITS F**KING BORING TO STAY AT HOME AND DO NTH!!! THOMAS CHUA PLS GET YOUR LAZY BUM OFF THE BED AND GO FIND A FREAKING JOB SOON!!

but the problem is i went for interviews already, but i still ain't got a job... *Shrugs*

I think i over-relied on your presence, so much so that even if we just met up since one day has passed,
I still miss you...

Your smile is my cure towards all my unhappiness.
I will do whatever it takes to see your smile...

Finally i can declare us officially proud graduates of Ngee Ann Poly... Thanks to my friends esp. my group mates for everything. And the short meetup yesterday with u guys were really impt to me... Thanks man for the friendship!

Me and Gl were discussing bout the end of world in 2012, where judgement day happens... And we will be burnt or smth like that... Kindda depressing, hope we can survive this ordeal. Though iam not a very much avid beliver of any religion but nonetheless these theories do not exist if its senseless... Thus i believe there is still some truth to it. Its funny also, cox we will finish our NS by 2010, then we MIGHT be going to any uni and by the time we come out, we will die... Kindda ironic isn't it.

I guess, we could surpass this somehow... But its a fact that the antartica ice caps which reflects earth's UV rays are melting and disappearing... So environmentally, we will still die... Either by huge pools of tsunami or heat to death... Anyway, human beings around the world just took the earth and its resources for granted and so now it is its turn to take human beings for granted for wasting earth's resource...

Well...This post is not to make u guys depress or what. But it is to just remind u guys that we are on the edge of the knife... And mother earth has surpassed its limits to protect us cox we keep harming it... If we die, we can only blame ourseleves and not others... Ciao.

Results will soon be out this coming fri... Feeling VERY nervous... Cox i think i din do very well for my finals...Like all tok c**k answers...

Anyway, i made a promise to myself which is to work hard and earn big bucks... i will have my own logisitcs company dealing with all ship freights etc!!! Its like suddenly i feel the need to mature quickly as i set in within the age of growing out of being a pet of my parents and grow into life of a proper adult... Hopefully its not just a spur of moment!!! Sometimes dun u just hate the feeling of being useless and not knowing so many things and having the inability to pursue what u want...

I dunno if its just me and my nth-to-do freetime that sets me thinking bout my future... Its like i have no accomplishment at all during my 19 yrs of life...

Ok la, all that rants bout being matured must have bored u guys... Anyway, iam still currently out of job.. Any of u reading, if u have any PT job, pls recommend to me... thanks! ciao...

Sent my laptop for repair on wed thus the absence from blogging... And my dear sis is kind enuff to lend me use her com... thanks!

anyway just came back from my cuzzie's one yr old bdae party at Balmoral there... Very fun but she was kindda sad... Anyway, took lots of pics with her and mine relatives... shall post it up if possible...

And woke up at 6 smth in the morning to joiin my dad's company cycling event together with my mum and sis... It was very fun though we took only bout 45mins to solve all the clues... LOL.

ANyway, life's pretty boring went for 2 interviews and it was all unsucessful... Can only blame myself for not knowing many things... Kindda felt useless even if i have the diploma... i wonder what i can do also...

Went for counselling session for aus uni... In the end, the fees and living expenses turns me off... i seriously dun like SIM... and i dunno why also... Hopefully i can get into a local U!!

Iam already beggining to miss my friends already... When's the next meetup? hehe ciao.

The more iam around u, the more the need to be with you...
I foresee a chance... =)

Went to watch the death note 3rd sequel.. kindda boring and i can't figure out some of the parts... Anyway, over spent a little this and last week... and its only the starting of the week!

Been faithfully looking for a PT job but to no avail.. Damn.... Anyone with lobang pls call or sms me... thanks!

And tell u guys an amazing thing! I mistook a UOB ATM machine as a POSB one.. And i was like an idiot walking towards the machine and almost put the card in! How dumb can i be huh? LOL.

Anyway its late and tomolo iamma do lots of exercise!! ciao.

Thanks for ur company!

Well well... just back from a bball session straight from ubin trip with les, gl, marcus and kel. Fun but tiring... =) Kindda felt a little unwell halfway but all's well... Lucky... And my butt is now pain and urinating is kindda bothersome after a long cycling trip, guys should be able to understand that...

Anyway, its kindda tiring for me not to be treated SERIOUSLY... And i really dun like it at all. Jokes and more jokes, sometimes what i want is a serious conversation. Iam not that ignorant and stupid bout the issues u guys are toking bout. I always felt that ima not being part of the conversation. And sometimes, ever word i say, u guys just have to gun me down. Its kindda tiring u know to bicker back with ya guys.. its not that iam being petty but this happens ALL the time and it can get pretty irritating.. I dunno how to say it out so that u guys understand... ANd in the end it feels as if iam having a AP and behaving like a temperimental guy... But all i want is proper conversation thats it...

No need to keep bombarding me or joke with me with every sentensce i say.,.. its IRRITATING!!! Though its been 3 yrs but when a person is already over the limit for jokes, thats the cut off point. Anything more, u guys just have to suffer and bear with my attitude. I know i spoil the fun, But i expect equal respect. Sometimes other pple are commiting the same mistake as me, be fair and not just shoot me down.. It makes me feel like why am i the only one being said when others are having the same problem and i believe that i have tried accomodating in many ways already...

I enjoy being with u guys but the words above came from my heart and is what i feel, no offence to any of u guys...
Finally a load off my chest... Gonna go watch my tang xin feng bao already... ciao...

Another expensive outing today... Watch fool's gold and jumper.Both were ok-ok. Jumper ended too abruptly... The storyline is fantastic but the execution just wasn't there. Fool's gold's concept was good but the storyline behind those treasure golds bout how he sacrificed himself to protect the honour of delivering the gold (hope iam right bout this) was kindda blurish to me.

Anyway, bought my PSP finally! THanks kel for the games... I would say that i 100% did not regret buying it.

Well, any NBA fans would know that the last minute trade between Cavs, Bulls and Sonics involving 11 players is a blockbuster! Good for lebron that he got scheviak and joe johnson! But ben wallace? WTH would Cavs need 2 centers unless they plan to make Wallace a forward? I still could not figure that out.... Anyway, iam glad that this trade is kindda beneficial to Cavs...

Enough of NBA, and iamma start looking for a job soon after slacking for a little while.... ciao...

Can i scream and tell the world how much i love you!
Even though its one sided...

考完咯!!! Finally everything is over! Thanks to all lecturers and TT04 ians both current and past semesters. Although the current TT04 din have much interaction, but overall, i think with time, we will become very bonded.





Anyway to all my group members... Thanks alot and overnight at les night was crazy... Daideeing, winning 11 and CS with les was fun!

Anyway introducing you guys my most beloved IIp group!


Ok i know i look f**king wierd...

Anyway, gonnna go have my dinner now.. ciao...

Iam mentally strained already! SOS pls~

The wait is tiring...
Maybe its time to really let go afterall...

well well... haven touched DCI yet... damn... MIS test was ok-ok only... sian.. and to all pple: IAM NOT AS HARDWORKING AS WHAT U GUYS THINK!!! lolz.. everyone had this pre-conception that i am studying alot when iam not...

Anyway, uni application is insamely fuked up! the instructions etc were a little unclear... thanks to those who helped me... sorry to trouble u guys,.. haha...

Anyway, i thik i better start studying before i regret it... ciao..

Just like a celestial beyond the sky which shine so bright....
so unreachable, yet so beautiful....
no one could ever possess you,
for beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder....

you banished me to the ground forever,
and i can only look up at the sky like how i looked at u now...

Now's the period to think bout my own future... where i wanna go.... what are my directions... what are my aspirations? what courses to take? am i eligible enough... And soemtimes u wonder why u din bother doing well when u were in year 1.... then u start silly callculations like if i got a gpa of 4 for yr 1, what will my average gpa be? And as u calculate, you realised that u fuking screw around when u were in yr 1 and din bother to study hard... How tough is life huh?

How fuking good should i be in order to compete with the world? And as you grow old, u realised your yrs of youth being wasted all for a slip of paper... But for all u know, that slip of paper is a key towards sucess... Indeed.... success drives craziness...

Iam happy today!
Are you?

stayed home whole day today... Went to see a doctor cox of inflammation in my windpipe... Almost could not breathe yesterday due to the stupid flams accumulating which causes me to take very deep breathes each time... Luckily iam feeling much better now...

Anyway, this year's new year is pretty much the worst new yr ive ever had with the prohibitation of fire works etc from being used in malaysia... Sian. anyway, NBA is getting more and more interesting with pau gasol getting traded from memphis to lakers and o neal got traded from heats to phoneix whcih i think is VERY wrong and not worth it... Considering that shawn marion's PPG, rebounds etc are a notch higher than o neal... morever, o neal can only play at the most for another 4-5 yrs or even less and this is indeed a wrong solution by the phoneix... anyway just my opinion, for all u nba fans out there...

Suddenly, i had a craving for projects... lolz... Innobox, shall we meet for project at level 2 on mon... hehe... just kidding.

Enough of my nonsense and i think i better get started for IES reflection..i haven even started drafting it yet... got to go do already... ciaoz...

ultimately, its attitude that determines whether u are likeable amongst ur friends or not... if u have a shitty attitude and treating pple around u like dirt... u ain't getting any respect amongst ur friends... Sometimes i just feel that pple take me for granted... venting fustrations unnecessary, finding fault with me for nth etc... Its tiring to have friends sometimes... Esp. if they dun understand how much you have sacrificed and how much i have tried to accomodate their way of handling certain things... No one knows... Maybe being alone is what i love the most... Here i am emoing for nth on 2nd day of new year... just great...

what the f**k are you thinking bout sometimes?

yozzz... Finally FYP is over... Definitelty still feel sore bout it, since i din do wel for my part of presentation... Iam really sorry... Anyway, its class bbq last night... One word, Fun... But i was drunk yet again... Damn...

Anyway its new yr eve and iam still stuck at home... Plans changed but iams still going malaysia later for reunion dinner...

To my group... Guang liang, sheela, lesnar and aik ping: GL and les, thanks for making the perfect website! And sheela for your designs, Navision and providing so much ideas... Aik ping, thanks for ur addiction to GE... lolz and of course u helped us alot with the tonnes of report...

Wish everyone a happy new yr eve here and may all wishes come true...

Iam estatic that ur back!
But my feelings, mood and reasons of thinking are messed up yet again!
Thanks for the present!

iam so anxious that i cannot slp... cox its my FYP presentation later!!! Anyway a shoutout to my team... Thanks for the effort and lets do well for this final presentation! To brenda, jw and cus, i know u guys are going through a tough time but just suck it up ya...

Pls let this presentation be a sucess!! I better go slp now...

Have you ever felt in a spur of moment that actually you know nothing at all after your 3 years of education in the poly and in the end you find out that what u have accquire is only very theoratical stuff? Suddenly i have a feeling of that... And i realized that i actually know very little...

Maybe i need a long-term break... Alone...

i haven been doing any constructive work... pls help...

A secret that only u and me knows
I will be seeing u soon finally!!

Long time no blog already... Past few days have been project, report and e learning assignments... Really kills me man... ANyway, IES though we did well i would say... But the teacher said that our website is nto good enough and needs further improvement... felt kindda angry and unhappy bout that... I take no credit for the website but the effort that GL and les put in to make the website.. iam sure all of us can see that they put in their best already... i really thank them for the website. but to be gun down like that makes me feel rather shitty... ARGH! seriously dunno what she want... Anyway, i know iam kindda exagerating but its just me... I hate it when they ahve put in somuch effort for the website and the teacher just say its still not good enough...!

ANyway, ranting's over... i enjoyed the sushi buffet lots... Afternoon smth kindda happened which made me rather down for a while.. Anyway, Pls get well ah ma and recover soon ya! off to relax.. ciao...

These few days feels rather different...
The emptiness i feel seems to be dissolving...
One week more! =)

Suddenly i feel downright useless in my team... and believe me this feeling sucks totally...

iam tired as hell... And i refuse to do any work! Lastly, i need a fuking break!! Period.

BTW, iam addicted to Starlight by MUSE... A fantastic song i must say... one of the best ive heard.. i know u music gooners are gonna say that iam so outdated since stone age...

The starlight will soon be back
to electrify the fading sky...
It will shine so bright that the whole world will see..

Friends... hmmm.... iam stil having trouble handling this... but i can say iam fortunate thta i have a group of understanding friends unlike those whom ive known before... and thank goodness i meet them like practically everyday...

Afternoon smth happened.. shall not elaborate.. but ti totally made me pissed....
but alls well now. hehe... ciao..

Today's outing was nice... with most of the pple of tt04 plus their gf and bf present... the cake ewas nice... the coffee bean session was nice... was really crazy just now, probably the choco cake got to me and made me drunk... overall i had a great time...! This may be one of the last few outings weve had...

Tell u guys one funny thing... we took a cab to JE there.... and i alighted.. the journey of the cab was bout 20 mins... and i waitred for 180 for like 20 mins... and the journey took bout another 20 mins because the fking bus was bloody slow.. Together it took me 1 hour... but if i took the mrt, i would have reached home faster.... ANd the cos of cab was bout 4 bucks per person...
Conclusion: i should have taken mrt... LOL...

Off to bed i go.... ciao...

unknownly...
i woke up every morning with a smile for no reason...

Porridge buffet with my usual gang was nice... think they could hear me say this one nice, that one nice and etc... really enjoyed the food... damn nice.. thanks mr tan for the ride....

Aside with all the outings, friends etc and set aside some time for my future... really wish that i had the qualifications to get into a uni... It seems mine GPA is rather avaerage... dun even know if i can make it or not... if i can't then SIM will be my second option which i seriously dun wanna go...

Meanwhile... i shall concentrate on doing projects and completing my final sem in poly... I wonder what life will be like without my poly friends man... how i wish this friendship with them could be sustain forever...
i got a solution guys... LETS REPEAT THIS SEM! ok, i hear boos now... just jk... ciao...

My stuborn heart just chooses not to change..

Oh... forgot to do update on the bazar today... Very fun and interesting... u see many"underhand" tactics... lolz! just jk... Sales was not bad huh... and hopefully i was more of a help than a hindrance... Got home feeling bloody shagged.. Did cost benefit analysis until can vomit blood already.. but all's well now... at least for now...

Been looking through uni applications and requirements and courses... Had a very strong feeling towards opting for socio... but ultimately business is still what i loved! But... the point is whether if i am able to get into a uni with all the competition and my average results...Pls... let me get into a uni! hehe.. ciao.

Another lonely day
just comes and goes away...
Unknowningly..
time flies so quickly... =)

No offence or reference to anyone... Ive seen many cases, ive heard many cases of couples having small bickerings and things got out of hand and tempers lose. SOmetimes i just dunno why couples love quarreling? Is it so fun to quarrel over stupid small things? and in the end of the bickerings, the bf start accusing the gf of this and that and gf accuses the bf of this and that... And that snowballs to a major showdown.. And after that its all's well again... and the cycle repeats... i wonder how many pple in this world can actually take that? Certainly not me.... just a thought... Friends who actually withnesss these kindda of unnecessary quarrels will get affected too... And everyone starts to get pissed off...

Afterall to love someone is to care and love that perosn isn't it? and not causing unnecessary pain, sadness and anger to the other party.. To all couples, think of the amount of unnecessary quarrles u have, and pls ask urselves whether ur enjoying it... Cause for all u know the next quarrel might lead to a breakup...

Once again, its just a thought.. no particular reference...

i suck at handling human relationship afterall...

Pls come back quick!

Just a thought.... imagine a 25 marks report with 3 questions to answer, which means each question is worth 8-9 marks of the 25% and by giving a short answer, u think it will be good enough... I needed more explaination on report, whats so hard bout that? More explainnation means good. And giving a short answer bout a topic which is totally relevant and important towards the report, you think u can score... Sometimes, the surface may be clear by a sentence, but it all falls in to whether we are willing to go through the depth of the water to bring out the depth of our thinking. Explaination and analysis are not possible with a few paragraph only... it all lies in whether we are willing to think and give a run through analysis of certain topic...

PS: Iam doing a goodwill to help us score well...

Back from malaysia and now in bedok... Was doing the darfur project yesterday... finding the picxs and adding it into the slides.... people may find it an easy task to do. Just search and put in the pics ma.. whats so difficult bout it. But i feel that the pics in a way, made me hard to look at it the second glance. The desperation, the exasperation and the urge to call for fellow human mankind for help, really makes it hard for me to look at the pics... Its so sad when this kindda thing gota happen esp. in the area of middle east where many racial etc problems occur. It makes me wander why some human beings in this world are able to detest smth, so much so that they are willing to do anything to exterinate it... Why is it so difficult for us to help when the problem has been persisting for the last few yrs and yet we could do little to help. U feel so useless looking at the pics and telling urself you could actually make a difference but in the end you realized that there is little thing you can do. And after 5-6 days, u forgot bout the problem which is happening and you totally will not do anything to help. Is this why they always say humans are selfish? someone pls enlighten me....

the best start to a year of 2008 with awesome boozing and singing, dancing, babes and friendly ang mohs... fun, fun and more fun... esp. with the usual clique around minus some.... but in the end, its still fun. I din get drunk afterall, but rather its les, kel, cus, sheela and maybe joc who got drunk... hehe! iam the best drinker la, admit it! ANyway, a happy new yr to u guys and to all my friends thanks for the memories and lets welcome 2008 with glee! Tc! And Fuk u projects!!!