Haiz... another sleepless night.. Overall, a lousy day.. Ive caused my team to lose all the matches... The feeling is damn fked up! The shots not going ur way, a layup with no defenders in front also can miss, all the rebounds once u take gets snatched off... what the hell am i doing???

Anyway, gtg sleep, have to go vivocity to get smth.... Alone! Anyone wana follow? I doubt so.. Cox all working or going out... sian..

Dawn's leaving
Darkness will soon come
There will be no more mornings in my world
Only night....
But one thing's for sure
Some part of that darkness
Lies a beam of light,
Emmiting from you
Which will continue to bring hope somewhere in my heart...

I can't sleep...
I can't sleep...
I can't sleep...
I can't sleep...
I can't sleep...
I can't sleep...

i just can't sleep...
Iam listening to running away by the midnight hour. U guys should listen to it... Its a very sad song though...

Iam already hook on to you
Only you can release the hook from me
Or else i will be stuck forever...
Now that your going off
The hook is stucked
Iam left stranded,
bloodied by my own sadness and constant pinings
I know that one day u will be back
Till then I will bleed till you return...

What can i say? Its madness today!

Bubblebee Vs Optimus

Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round
Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it allI just fall on my knees and i try to prayin the silence i can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasonswhy i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the skyI promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign'cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see

A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Today's class gathering was alright i guess... It just feels wierd without GL and the rest around... I wonder if its just me, i just dun feel the vibe, or maybe iam not giving in much vibe when going out with them... Not that u guys are not fun or what, but i think we belong to diferent groups of pple coming together... Or maybe going out with smaller groups of pple is much more fun! lolz, I seriously dunno what iam talking bout. Anyway, Minds cafe just sucks... With all the games that we dunno how to play, and also its hard to play in large group... But the final game we played was fun! Sorry for the wrong recommendation... Went to watch ratatouile after that, the movie was dead boring in the beginning and at some parts... But towards the middle and ending was kindda funny...

Went to eat tau hway and this fuking lady said "ah pui ah! Why are u standing here, can siam?" I was like *(^&(*^(*(*&)(&*^%$^&%&!! I dun mind the siam thing, but the ah pui was very unnecessary la! But i must admit the tau hway was not bad... Then we went home after that and here i am typing my blog entry..

Anyway, pearleen is leaving for China this coming fri for 5 and a half mths... Wish her all the best and take care ok? Enjoy ur attachment... Shall end my post here, iam dead beat ever since watching the movie. ciao..

What are feelings?
Ive lost them long ago...
What exactly am i feeling now?
I wonder...

Somehow iam feeling kindda nervous now... Cox its a class outing, iam suppose to plan but i kindda did a sloppy job... pls, guys, be more enthu tomolo! if not i will be labeled as a man who always fail to plan a class outing! But seriously dun blame me! lolz.. cox spore really got no place to go...!

Anyway, finally finished watching heroes.. but i still prefer prison break! Anyway life's pretty mundane for me... Congrats to all those who have just finished their tests... Attachment is not as simple as u think... u still got final and interim reports and forthnight reports to do...

Anyway, iam pretty tired already, gotta zzz! ciao.. hope tomolo wil be a fun day... But guys be prepared to spend lots of money.. muhahaha...

ARGH!!! Tong, hang the clothes. Tong, wash the toilets ok and also clean the house floor. Tong, throw the rubbish. Tong, fold the clothes... See the amount of fking tasks! Itas irritating to have someone rining u everytime on the things to do. Housework, thats what i hated to do most! Its so tiring to do housework. I know iam lazy but whenever they ask me to do, i will do. But pls dun use a tone like as if i owe u smth. Dun use a tone like iam ur maid. All these requests from youall could have sound nicer. And in the end, i keep hearing things like: Dun be lazy, go help this, go do that!
Wth... Ive already done so much and you still give me that attitude. Since i do also give attitude, dun do also give attitude, i might as well not do! Just hire a maid la, for god's sake! Or just quit the job and be a housewife la! Why is it that every week must mop the floor, vacum the floor? Do it once every 2 weeks la... What is so difficult bout cleaning the floor once every 2 weeks?

Argh! Sometimes this family wants everthing done to perfection and it gets on my nerves sometimes!

Anyway, to those taking exams, good luck and study hard!

If ur still in the transition in the midst of the confusion
Take a deep breath
And think along the line of what u wanna do with ur life
Only then
Will u find that the things happening in life is in ur favor...

But human's biggest error is that we always dun practise what we preach... And thats why we always regret not living life to the fullest... =(

2 weeks more....

All of us regard life and death as if its a natural cycle
Which is a fact ever since the day we are born

Most will cry only when their close ones pass away
Few will cry when some unknown person is dead

Some people died without regrets cox they led a meaningful life
Some people died without knowing why this kindda thing happen
Some people died due to diseases
Some people died due to war
Some people died due to natural disaster


So, does all these mean that we, human beings are being controlled by strings of destiny attached to us, and be controlled like a puppet?
So what is life and death anyway, as long as we do not die with regrets... But how many of us are able to live and do things the way we want and live the life we want?


Most of us will look back and say why we did not treasure when this person is around, or why didn't i take the initiative to talk to this person... We always know that its too late to say all these when the person is dead. Then why is it that we keep repeating the same mistake of not treasuring everyone, even those whom we've had breif encounter with, when they are still around?
---------------------------------------------

Iam sorry that my post is kindda random, there are many issues regarding life and death going through my head, and i don't really know how to go bout expressing how i feel bout this issue... Thus the randomness...

Well, its been a rainy afternoon, wanted to go town, but checked out local forum and they said 1 litre of tears is only avilable in japan version... @#^&%&^%&^!!! Though i know a bit of jap, but i still have to refer to the jap. cart for reference of words! I can't possibly keep making reference to the charts while reading the book... I guess i will have to wait for the english version or source for other alternatives... i really wanna read it! =(

Anyway, my sis is going to shen zhen i think, to accompany her boss for a business trip... =(
I will miss her though! And now iam stucked with my parents! And my dad is going taiwan next tues... How come they got so many opportunities to go overseas? but not me....

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When its time to give up,
I will.
But now,
lets keep it as it is now...

Today's just another normal slacking day for me. Ive sent in tonnes of emails to companies for part time jobs but all taken up or they will say, we need someone who can stay longer than 2 and a half mths... Thus ive decided, not to work during holidays.. Just slack and hopefully can go overseas... Meanwhile i shall keep watching dramas and animes...

To the peeps taking their tests next week, dun envy me, cox soon u all will be like me, and i will be like u all now, mugging for exams. I keep wondering if i lost touch with studies or not, afterall 6 mths is neither a long period nor a short period of time. Hopefully, i can do well enough to get into a uni!

Yesterday, played bball with some people. Saw steven, wei quan and some other pple. Quite enjoyable, but got this crap asshole suddenly in the middle of the game walk into the court which we are playing at, and wanted to join in. And we have to take in another person to make it 4 v 4. Suay suay, this fellow have to come and ruin our game. We thought he could play, but in the end, play like noob. Dun even know how to pass, still dare to say wanna join in. Sian, in the end we lost 11-5... Kindda injure my tendon again, this time is my left leg. Great... no more bball for me for the next few days.. I shall continue to nua at home. Iam probably going town tomorrow, alone, to find a book called 1 litre of tears author is aya... Anyone who happens to read this can tell me where i can get the book? thanks...

Anyway, to those mugging for exams, good luck and study hard! Tc...


Love for someone
Is just like an ocean
Calm on the surface
With constant showing of ripples and waves of affection for someone
But deep underneath lies currents of feelings
Which are unexplainable and unexpressable...

Feelings... is something which is uncontrollable. It not something where u can just stop thinking bout it and thats the end of story, when u know somewhere deep, that feeling still has a glow. Its hard to let go... Its hard to accept that someone u like doesn't like u. One good friend once told me, "u can't expect any person u like to like u back", which really is so true...

Sometimes i wish i can smile for the rest of the day and be happy, but its always not the case. Whenever iam alone wthout my friends, i revert back to myself... A gloomy and unhappy me. In the end, i started asking myself, why am i studying so hard, why am i trying to be happy in front of her, why din i bring the courage to tell her iam unhappy and more whys... In the end, i find myself daydreaming bout something where i can nv get my answers...

Some things are just not meant to be... Sorry, i just got a little emo... but i promised that i will get better... i will try, cox there are many more things in life which is more impt! tc all...

its hard to accept the fact that your going somewhere, far from me...

Hi guys! Finally, iam back to blog... Decided not to abandon this blog... Anyway, holidays have been great so far. With causal meeting ups with my class, playing winning 11 etc, its been long since i have experienced this kindda life... Really enjoyable.. haha...

Anyway, i have been watching a show called One Litre of Tears. It is about a girl called Aya Kito who was diagnosed with a disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration when she was just 15 years of age. She was able to continue her life until at the age of 25 yrs old, when she died. It is based on a true story and is a really touching show. When she was 15, she started writing a diary, recounting her daily encounters and her feelings until the day where she cannot writes. Slowly, this disease took away her ability to perform simple tasks of her daily life, such as walking, writing, talking and etc. However, she gets to retain all her mental abilities which is why she is living in pain. Imagine you wanna walk, but u just couldn't stand up to walk and imagine u wanna say thanks to that person but u could not express how u felt. This is really a terrrible feeling.

I must really say, this drama is the best show i have ever watched, it really epics how human life is strong yet fragile at the same time. Even though Aya could not do many things, but her determination to live is just termendous, it also touched the people around her. In school, although her friends are helping her, but they began to find it to be a chore because of the lack of social and study life due to the time needed to help her get around the school. Her parents are also giving their best to care for her. It really evokes lots of emotions and thoughts in me.

Like what she wrote in her diary, "just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing." It gives us a new meaning of our perspective to life. One phrase which really touched was when she said in her diary, "If you look up at the sky after falling down, the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me... Iam alive".

So, guys if u have the free time, go watch this drama, although the romance is not based on true story, but the feelings and thoughts are according to the diary that she wrote. She was just 15 and she had to face such truth of suffering from an incurable disease.

Many times, we are complaining bout life, school, work, romance, money and wanting to live in luxury but we often overlook the greatness of being alive, being abe to run, being able to talk, being able to perform daily tasks which seems simple to us but in fact difficult for people who suffered from diseases etc. Thus, these shows are constant reminders to us,of how life can be wonderful. Even though. such thoughts of how simple tasks we do are deemed simple by us, but to other people, it is impossible it is a wishful thought of standing up to walk. After watching this drama, i really thought things out. Hope you guys will watch this drama and realise the greatness of life itself. Tc...

I might be closing down this blog, for some personal reasons... Meanwhile i will be on hiatus, probably weeks or mths or maybe just days... thanks for tuning to my blog for the past few mths... Tc all...

-----> iam glad everything's been sort out... I know its impossible between us, but u can't stop me from liking u... U do know that ur one very extraordinary girl... to be able to make me smile even though iam feeling real sad... thanks for everything and good luck for everything u do! hope you will find a guy who's suitable for u.. This will probably be my final dedication to u<-----