IAP 2nd day.... Still doing packing and customer orders, thats it. When can i go into the comfy aircon office. Iam always outside doing packing and stocks. Damn busy in the morning, order slip came in and we had to rush it. ARGH! And the order is like today, and within 5 hours must send it to them. Dman gan chiong. Boss also very stress, see him scold the suppliers i think, probably cox they never deliver goods on time. Had a talk with Chen jun. He said i willl be doing logistics first, simply packing and stocking and doing customers order, checking of stocks, helping to take the correct items, blah blah... But its fun though, but yet stressful. Contradicting huh.

He say he will teach me bout business, cox he knew my IT cnnot make it. Learnt a bit of how trading works and the relation between suppliers from a short conversation with him. But hope that he dun feel that the school is sending a non AD student to their company. Haiz, my studies not very good also , till now i still dunno how i got in to IAP. zzz...

Anyway, after lunch time, nth much to do, just sat there and watch my friend (i still dunno his name), do work, since he din ask me to do anything i just sat outside. Weather damn hot, sweat like one's business, hope can really go into the office and do my thing. But i think Chen Jun knew i got a little tired of working outside then he told me i had to start from basic, which is doing these things. Kindda agreed, hope i can withstand ba. Feel that ive learnt quite a number of things non related to my field, and ive also felt that capabilities of a person do not come from being smart or good at studies, but it comes from within which is the interest to do something. Then transform that interest to motivate ourself and push urself to achieve ur goals, that is called being capable. And i definitely am not capable but hopefully after 6 mths i will at least be able to learn something. I dun wanna be stuck outside handling stocks for the rest of my 5mths man.

Anyway, wrote alot for my IAP is also partly cox of my IAP report, hope got a refernece so that i can have a headstart for my report. And i really must brush up my programming, really cannot make it. I dun even know what codes mean to me. haiz. IAP may be tough but think i can make it ba... Ok la, wana zzz already, wake up at 6am is really a torture for me.... ciao..

----> i miss ur smile... <----

Attachment today was fulfilling i would say. Did alot of stuff, hope i can keep up for another 6 mths. Did some logistics work, packing and checking the stocks. Learnt a lot of hardware tools' name, which ive nv heard of when i learnt D&T. Lucky my D&T came in handythough i got D7 for it. -________-

ANyway, the company's kindda small but the pple were alright i guess haven tok to the pple in the office yet except the boss and his son. My officer in charge is not a china man! Lolz. Ive mistaken all along. He is actually the boss's son. And he is a marketing manager and he is only 21! Saw his NP result slip, almost all ADs, and some Bs ion the first yr. Overall he got a accumulated GPA of 3.85! Impressive huh. Makes my result slip look like a prawn. He is also in BIT, so we got along pretty fine. He seems so capable compared to me, even though he is only 21, its like he is very experienced in the business field..

Overall quite a small company but alot of work to be done. But i enjoyed it today, hope i can keep this spirit up for 6 mths. Ok gonna go soon, alot of rest needed. Ciao...

----> today is the day where i din have u on my mind for 9 hrs <-----

Just came back from bballing... Its so much fun! Damn enjoyed myself... This is the only time i can relax and enjoy myself thoroughly, sweating all my worries out. Tomolo's the start of my attchment at hong supply... Hope i can make it man... Damn worried, cox i have not much programming basis, and if they ask me to build shopping cart or what, i might be screwed so bad... Lucky iam not attached to some big company, might spoil NP's reputation... i suddenly wondered why i chose to go for IAP in the first place, might as well settle in ITP, even better.

Anyway, i shall see how it goes ba... Ifcan, i wll take some photographs.. hahaz, hope they have aircon office man... hahaz. Spent the whole day, balling, watching naruto shippuden, bleach and some other random youtube videos and thinking bout my life during and after IAP... 6 mths, say short not short, say long not long, i might be more matured by then and attract many girls! lolz... jk jk...

Ok la, gonna go slp, must reach there by 8am!!! and its situated at lavendor that area... man.... my 6 mths aintgonna be enjyable.. See ya peeps.

----> i gave myself a day to think bout u, a night to cry over u, but somewhere at a corner of my heart pops memories bout the days with u around... <----

my life took a 360 degree turn starting from next week, with attachment and stuff.. chalet was alright, but din really enjoy myself. All i can say is that i'm ultra ridiculous, getting jealous and angry for nothing... getting emo for nothing, and somehow i just wanna be left alone, cox it feels more comfortable this way.. Iam upset and thus made her upset too... All i can say is after IAP, everything changes... How will i get used to life without u? Iam still searching for an answer... No mood to blog today, anyway to those going for attachment good luck... And to her, iam sorry,, iam a person who does not know how to express his emotions... i just dunno how to handle these kindda things... Who knows how much iam going through now.... Its a tough ride but i can make it through somehow..

---> iam forced to give up finally, no more sunshine, only sorrows... <----

i hate u for making me wait so long
i hate u for rejecting me
i hate u for ignoring my feelings
i hate u for being insensitive
i hate u for being so nice to me even though i tried ignoring u
i hate u for making me sad for nothing uve done
i hate u for controlling my thoughts, mind everything

i hate myself for fallling for u
i hate myself for being angry for nth
i hate my own intense jealousy
i hate myself for not trying hard enough
i hate my determination for trying to forget u, in the end i just could not do it
i hate my own attitude towards u
i hate to be happy

I hate everything becox of u, but these thoughts are embraced by beautiful memories with u which made me forget these hatered. I wonder if what i am feeling is hatred or some other feelings. Iam confused after so long...

i love who u are
i love how u bring happiness to pple around u
i love ur smile
i love ur outgoing personality
i love ur everything

What am i feeling now exactly!!?

Today went out with pearl, liyi, na, kok and kel... Wierd combination but overall still enjoyed... Lolz... Without the other guys,this group is rather quiet... HAhaz... Anyway, went to heeren and cine. Watched protege, a very nice movie... Showing the relation between emptiness and drugs, love the way they show the contrast. I am beggining to wonder if money is like drugs too, to fill our emptiness of wanting material goods.... Just a thought. Anyway, sorry if iam not rather hyped today, was ultra tired from new yr and some other things.

On my way home, saw pamela, long time no see. Though we did not meet up or what, but the brief conversation today made me admire ur determination to go all the way to new york to pursue what u love. Wiish u all da best and stay pretty ya. Hahaz...

Ok la, tmolo's class chalet and going to mrs hong's house to bai nian. hahz... But somehow iam not feeling hyped bout it, its always the thought of separation that kills the mood. Haiz... Shall go and sleep and enjoy these 2 and a half days with my class!

----> one sided love is a waste of time... <-----

Yeah! Finally exams are over... Overall quite alright i would say except for IPT. Last fri marks the end of tt04 i would say. No more frequent lectures, no more bickerings except with GL, argh, lolz... And no more project work together, no more staying late at jun wei house, no more lame jokes made, no more tai dee, and many more... We have shared common memories, and really i love my class, but guess my actions do not reflect that. Kindda clique, but i like my class ALOT. Anyway, i would liek to thank all of them for all the memories, and the friendship we have made. Kindda depressed at the end of the paper, cox all of us will be dividing and going to different classes, each with our own plans.

Itsalways easy to say let's meet up, but its hard to do the real thing. Ive experienced that tons of times. I hope this time we could really keep up with our relationship. Iam gonna miss u guys, for some about a year, others around 6 mths? But lucky still got GL, les, WX and KQ with me, guess i wun feel so lonely... Anyway, wish u guys good luck for ur future endeavour, and i think most of u are happy that u wun get to see me already huh.

Anyway, today's new yr eve, went to malaysia to celebrate, gambled and everything. Everything there is fun, esp. with my cousins, thanks for making my new yr "not so boring"... Ok la, its kindda late, but i will stay up to "tian shou" to my parents, inspired by the MAC's advertisement. hahaz, anyway to TT04 once again,thanks a lot.... Ciao...

----> I watched ur backview as u left, wonder if i get to see it again... <---