Email

I got this in an email and liked it a lot - well, liked it doesn't really fit, it made me squirm. I imagine some of you who see this will be outraged, but I have to agree with it. (Sorry)  It was said to be a quote from the Czech Republic.  Two minutes of research stated that it was a quote from Prager Zeitung of April 28, 2010, I have confirmed the existence of the newspaper but since it seems to be published in gibberish, I can't go any farther than that (sorry again).

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting an inexperienced man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America . Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama. It is less likely to survive a multitude of Ass-Holes such as those who made him their president."

Contrary

I was having a phone conversation with J yesterday and his son came into the room. I wasn't feeling well (still am not really), but was coughing and making all the sick people noises I could make to garner sympathy. J's son stands there looking at me for a minute and begins talking to me, and it was apparent to his dad that what he was saying was annoying me, and told me that he didn't mean to be contrary, he thinks he's being funny. I said yes he does mean to be contrary - name me one 21 year old that doesn't. He laughed and said good point.

The conversation with the son went like this:

Me: *cough*
Him: Still sick eh?
Me: Yes well, it was only 2 hours ago that you noted I was sick, do you know anyone that gets better that quickly?
Him: I never get sick.
Me: You do too, you were sick a few weeks ago.
Him: That was 3 months ago.
Me: Well you get sick then, don't you.
Him: Rarely.
Me: 3 months doesn't seem rare to me.
Him: But it is, I rarely get sick!
Me: You see that I'm on the phone, right?

After later considering this conversation, and contemplating his dad feeling the need to point out that his son doesn't mean to be contrary.. and especially now after reading how the conversation went, I have come to a difficult conclusion.

It was me being contrary. Yes, I was the contrary one. But that's okay, cause I'm sick. And its my house. And he ate all my picante sauce.

Have Ya Ever....

Been going about your business and it suddenly dawned on you that you would remember that moment for the rest of your life? It was a quiet and unobtrusive moment, nothing special happening, we were just driving down the street.

This was playing on the radio:



The windows were down, it was kind of warm, we had just left the hockey game in downtown D.C. - traffic was a little slow going.

For some reason that moment has imprinted in my brain. Its not a bad thing to remember, a warm(ish) night, good music, hanging with my man.

Blame it on my ADD baby.

EUREKA!

I have a thang (yes a thang) for good, old-fashioned chicken fried steak.  (Or country fried steak, as some of you prefer.)  The problem is I didn't know how to cook it so the only time I ever got any was if we went to a restaurant that served it.  We're mostly a fast-food family so that didn't happen often.  I did get some a few weeks ago when the WRS was here, he said it looked disgustingly like something the Scottish would dream up.

Yum

So anyway, using my talents here to make a short story very long - it starts this way:

J had gone shopping at the Commissary and brought home a London Broil.  I've had these before but had no clue how to fix them correctly because every time I tried it turned into a chewy lump.. tasted okay but nearly impossible to chew, so because of that the weird chunk of meat has set in our freezer for a while.  On Monday I decided to tackle that thing and win.

I cut it in half, then sliced each half until I had 4 thinner steaks.  I then proceeded to beat the living shit out of it with a meat tenderizer sledgehammer.

(Not the actual sledgehammer.)

IT WAS AMAZING!  Those little 4 inch steaks, after I had beaten them to death had spread out to the size of dinner plates!  It was like magic!  Who knew. 

After working all of my frustrations out on those innocent chunks of meat, they were ready for cooking.  I dipped em in egg/milk, rolled em around in flour/salt/pepper/garlic powder, slapped them in the frying pan - they were big enough that I could only cook one at a time, and VOILA - country fried steaks.

Throw some white gravy on those babies and you are good to go.

Actually, I was pleasantly surprised.  Most of my experiments turn out to be dismal failures.  This one was a screaming success.

There we have it, another successful post about pretty much nothing at all.

I'm happy.  :-)

The Internet So Cracks Me Up

There I was, reading a forum, when this caught my eye and had me participating in side-splitting giggles:

pre-madonna

ITS PRIMA DONNA you idgit.

Ahhh  that was fun.

Spring Has Sprung

This is our back yard (unmowed - or should that be unmown).  Anyway, I spent a good part of yesterday planting flowers and seeds.  I still have 3 azalea bushes and our Christmas tree to plant, but it started raining so they will have to live in their pots for a couple more days.  That screened building is about to be converted into an office/guest house.  We decided to make it an office so that a certain person's son (who shall remain unnamed) can't try to claim it for his own.  One end will be an office area for me, but it will be set up so that it is easily converted into a guest house when we have company.  I've been looking at ideas for converting small spaces like that and have found several ideas, but holy moley they are expensive ideas. 

Speaking of expensive, J's son is back in town after living with his girlfriend for a month and a half.  She apparently kicked him out after using his laptop as a frisbee.  So he's back to living here with no computer, which means he's bored, which means our groceries are disappearing at a rapid rate.  I can't keep up. 

Sometimes

I get into strange moods and go shopping for weird items. The weirder the better and what is weirder than zombie gifts?

How To Speak Zombie.  I swear this is the best idea EVER.  How else would a couch potato like me survive other than totally fitting in?  Its not like I will be able to run from them (sore knee), its not like I carry an axe around to destroy the brain or remove the head.  I will only survive by pretending to be a zombie because, everyone knows, zombies don't eat other zombies.  I love the pronunciation button.  GOTTA HAVE.

As (I typed ass there, but I fixed it) - anyway, as most of you know, we recently moved into a new house.  It needs to be landscaped and, in fact, my intention was to go down to the local home improvement store and buy some flowers.  However, I think I would much rather have this under the bushes next to the front steps.  I'm pretty sure it would keep those annoying neighbor kids off our lawn.

Easter is just a couple of weeks away and how better to celebrate the birth of our Lord but by handing out zombiefied bunnies.  The website says this is made from white chocolate.  Do we trust that?

The zombie cookie jar.  The above photo shows it filled with yummy chocolate chip cookies, but personally I think oatmeal raisin would look more brain-like.  But that's just me.

This is sold as a zombie magnetic poetry kit, and I must confess that out of everything I've posted so far I want this the most.  It brings back the old law firm days of Jess and I rearranging magnets into insults on the filing cabinet next to my desk.  Good times.  They had me at "her skin is chewy."

Hungry for a mid-zombie apocalypse snack?  Have some zombie jerky!  What else are we supposed to do with all those headless zombie bodies??

There you go, I must stop now because it has already crossed my mind to send J a list for my upcoming birthday.  If any of you are interested, these amazing items can be found at ThinkGeek, and email me and I'll send you my mailing address because you know you want to buy this crap for me.  :-)

WAIT WAIT - HOLD THE PRESSES, I found something else that I gotta have.  Its not zombiefied or anything so it doesn't really fit in with this post, but OMG -

The bluetooth handset!  It looks like a retro phone handset but connects to my cell phone via bluetooth (see what I did there I have already claimed it as mine).  NEEEEEEED THIS and I have emailed an enthusiastic link to J.  Think he'll pick up on the hint?  hehe

The Lawn Mower Has Taken a.. Vacation

We moved into this house at the first of November and the woman we bought it from seems to have been one of those weird ass people who is constantly on the move. The house was immaculate enough to eat off of, the lawn was in perfect shape.

Enter us.

I wouldn't say we are pigs, but we do tend to live a bit cluttered (we have enough boxes of books to furnish a small library), and the yard has begun to grow.

Unfortunately, an unkempt yard does bug me so I am itching to go mow it but the lawn mower has decided to take a shit. It flat refuses to turn on. I've mentioned this to J, but an unkempt lawn doesn't seem to bother him as much as it does me. Actually, the back yard is looking quite nice, things are blooming, there is a large tree covered with white flowers. I would take a picture for you to see but then you would see the tall grass and that would be unacceptable. On the bright side - a few more weeks and we get to open the pool! Yay yippeeeeee!

So anyway back to the original topic (I am so easily distracteeeeohhhh LOOK SHINY), I am thinking I am going to need to take apart the lawn mower and see if I can figure out how to make it start. I think if I threaten this then J may get out there and fix it. I assume that would be preferable to him coming home from work one day to find his lawn mower in 1000 different parts lying all across the back yard.

On to the next...

J wants me to take up day trading. He seems to think I would be good at this, but I know absolutely nothing about buying/selling stocks. Anyone have any useful suggestions? The only thing I know is I like the commercials:



This commercial seems like a good enough reason to take on a new hobby, doesn't it?

;-)

What is the deal??

What is with the internet's fascination with celebrity pregnancies? Isn't the internet aware that any female creature, including dogs, pigs and mice, can get pregnant and that what those women's gestational talents are not anything to hoot about?

Ugh.. move on to something more fascinating, please.

This Is My Opinion and I'm Sticking To It

If you read my last post you know the shock I had when I discovered what had been done by someone I considered a friend (in days gone by, anyway). Short version - church minister, adopted daughters, sexual abuse, etc. etc, blah blah blah - we hear so many stories like that these days that it is almost commonplace (although no less tragic). I've been following the news reports (the internet is a wonderful thing), and seeing my old partner in that setting has made me respect her more every day. She did what we all hope we never have to do, she turned in the love of her life to the police to protect her children. She did the right thing.

Unfortunately, in looking up the news reports on this, I also stumbled across many blogs leaping on this story and basically saying SEE SEE? See how evil Christians are?? Such misguided people.

Christianity isn't a person. If it were it would have failed within six months of its inception. Christianity isn't a church for that very same reason. Christianity isn't attending services every Sunday or inviting the pastor over for a nice meal or keeping up with the neighbors or scorning someone that you have decided was not as good as you. Christianity is keeping your faith close to your heart no matter what storm is going on around you.

Christianity is knowing that God loves you, even when you feel overwhelmed. Christianity is NOT looking down your nose at people, its accepting everyone and leaving the judgments for God to decide.

What that minister did was damaging to Christianity in the fact that so many people look for bad behavior to hold up to the world and point out to everyone how dirty Christianity is. Christianity can be dirty and rotten - but only because humans can be dirty and rotten. Its in our nature, but I find it pointless to judge an entire religion on one person's despicable behavior.

Am I a Christian? Yes, I think so. I live a sinful life, I drink, I smoke, I am living with a man without benefit of marriage (fornication, anyone?). My parents were shocked, my friends from my old regimented Christian life were appalled, but oh well. I still believe in God and deep down I feel he still believes in me.

I guess I'll find out eventually, eh?

**Edit:  It was pointed out to me that I associate with gays as well.  Its true, I confess - one of my best friends is a lesbian.. yes I said it, she's LESBIANESE.  Pretty sure it won't send me to hell though.  ;-)

The Heart, It Breaks

I woke up this morning to rain, it was nice. But when I got up saw that I had messages from my daughter asking if I had heard about a person that I had been friends with for almost longer than I can remember, but she gave me no details in the message. He and his wife were good friends of mine and my ex husband. His wife was my partner in a barber shop many years ago. I moved away, they moved away, but through Facebook we somewhat kept up with each other. They were pastors of a church in a small Oklahoma town. They raised 3 girls, then adopted 3 more girls a couple of years ago. I thought he had died - until I looked up news reports and was horribly shocked at what I found.

He had been raping those girls and is now in jail. His wife turned him in. I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through. He is the last one I would have thought would go that direction.

The world is going crazy.

And How Was Everybody's Weekend??

Mine was nice, thank you for asking.

I've found a new band called Elbow.. well, they aren't new, they are new to me (it was recommended to me by the Doc). I'm hooked.



How many bands can get away with using a cup as a musical instrument?

Dinner Time!

I am trying to plan dinner for tonight... what ya think, moving pizza? Frog?





(One YouTube comment to this one was "He just stole that frog's soul." Made me laugh.)