Okay Okay

I will post the answers to the Fact or Crap questions, although I really hate to because I've had more visitors this weekend than I ever have. I'm assuming you guys keep coming back to see if I've posted the answers and now nobody will come see me at all... but thats okay, I won't leave you in suspense any longer.

1. The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were patterned after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in It's a Wonderful Life.
Answer: Crap. Popular theory, but no go.

2. If you lived on Mars, you'd get an extra half-hour each day.
Answer: Fact. You'd get to sleep a half hour longer a day if you lived on Mars.

3. The Kiwi bird can neither see nor fly.
Answer: Fact. The national bird of New Zealand is almost completely blind and cannot fly and lives in a hole in the ground.

4. Dr. Seuss used only 50 words to write Green Eggs and Ham.
Answer: Fact. Dr. Seuss was bet $50 by a friend that he couldn't write a book using only 50 words. The result was Green Eggs and Ham.

5. A snail can crawl over the edge of a razor without cutting itself.
Answer: Fact. Two words...... Protective Mucus. (Nice visual eh?)

6. John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.
Answer: Fact. Lincoln's son, Robert Todd, while traveling home from Harvard, lost his balance and fell between two railway cars. A fellow passenger pulled him from certain death. The heroic fellow passenger was Edwin Booth, brother of John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln's assassin.

7. Death Valley is the hottest place on earth.
Answer: Crap. It is the hottest place in North America, but El Azizia in Libya recorded a temperature 2 degrees hotter, of 136 Fahrenheit in 1922.

8. The Braille alphabet was invented by a boy who had been blinded by an awl.
Answer: Fact. Louis Braille was accidentally blinded by an awl at the age of 3. Later, while in a school for the blind, he was inspired by a military code of dots and dashes and came up with the idea of using no more than six dots per letter for a code that could be felt in the dark. He was 15 when he introduced the Braille alphabet.

9. The first Wimbledon tennis championship was organized in 1877 in order to raise money for a new lawn roller.
Answer: Fact. In 1875 the All England Croquet Club converted one of its croquet courts to the new sport of lawn tennis, but needed a roller to maintain the lawns, so they hosted a lawn tennis tournament in Wimbledon to raise the cash for the roller.

10. The first human in space was John Glenn.
Answer: Crap. He was the first American in space, but the first human in space was Russian cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin.

Final tally:

Sassan: 8/10
Markoos: 7/10
Odat: 7/10
Everyone else: 0/10

Congrats to Sassan, who won the ungodly amount of points and a tip of the hat from the Southern End of the United States.

I am guessing I will need to reinstate the Boondoggled List of Smartest People ever before too long.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy

My passport came!

The world is my oyster now. :-)

My Son

I was on the phone talking to my 15 year old son earlier. He lives with his dad. Anyway, he called me and was telling me that his dad had a date tonight, and man oh man was he giving his dad some shit over that. He was grilling him on where he met the woman, and finally declared that his dad met his new woman online on My Space, and told him to make sure she was truly 68 and not 14. He told his dad that site was dangerous. He then informed him that he thought that was still better than where mom met her last date.... in rehab.

I was absolutely rolling by this time.

His dad then asked was I still seeing the drug addict. My son told him no, the guy OD'd and I went back to my girlfriend.

His dad left the room.. I told my son he was wicked and evil and he makes me so proud.

He told me I raised him right.

Yes I did. hehe

*update*

P.S.: I didn't really meet my last date in rehab.

(It was at AA.)

Come on People....

Sassan and Markoos cannot be the only brave ones who look at this blog. They always win all the points.. someone else needs em this time. ;-)

Fact or Crap?

Your challenge is to guess whether these tidbits of trivia are fact or crap. I'll post the answers later. The person who gets the most of them correct will get 623,082 points**. :-)

1. The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were patterned after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in It's a Wonderful Life.

2. If you lived on Mars, you'd get an extra half-hour each day.

3. The Kiwi bird can neither see nor fly.

4. Dr. Seuss used only 50 words to write Green Eggs and Ham.

5. A snail can crawl over the edge of a razor without cutting itself.

6. John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.

7. Death Valley is the hottest place on earth.

8. The Braille alphabet was invented by a boy who had been blinded by an awl.

9. The first Wimbledon tennis championship was organized in 1877 in order to raise money for a new lawn roller.

10. The first human in space was John Glenn.



**Yes I know that is a lot of damn points, but you guys are worth it.

Funny Picture

This picture will hit home for soooo many women.... (snicker)



How Men Ruin A Romantic Evening

Yup

This is me. Still awake. I tried to sleep, I did, but I was unsuccessful. I tried to read my book, but there again is my problem with the fruit fly attention span.

This photo essay did capture my attention. Can you believe it has been 20 years since Chernobyl? The guy that put this together is amazing. The photographs and the commentary are heartwrenching.

Have a look.

Here I Am Again

Middle of the night, wide awake, so I decided to surf some blogs. I sat quietly for a while, reading the blogs I came across, and although I am definitely not qualified to make any kind of judgment, I will anyway because this is my blog and I can write what I want.

Top Ten Things I've Noticed About Bloggers:

1. A few bloggers consider blogging as a major undertaking, that having a weblog automatically makes them writers. I read one in particular written by a woman who even labels herself a writer, but the blog was boring. She was a writer of boring (not unlike myself, but that is beside the point, at least I am AWARE of being a writer of boring).

2. Some of the best blogs were written by drunk bloggers.

3. Posting a picture of a kid with food smeared all over their face isn't necessarily adorable.

4. Teenagers from Singapore put so much crap on their blogs that it nearly locks up my computer when I accidentally surf to one.

5. I'm not the only one who blogs about the miracle that is Jelly Bellies.

6. Blogging and poetry do not mix.

7. If I don't see anything of interest in the first 1.2 seconds then I surf to the next one. I think I have the attention span of a fruit fly.

8. The best way to get lots of comments is to write a post about sex.

9. "I noticed you noticing me, and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too" is the best blog quote EVER.

10. It never fails that when someone puts a song on their blog, they never say what the song is. What if I love it and need to buy the CD?? hmmmmm???

(I just had a pop up ad start talking at me.. that was new, and a bit frightening.)

Okay, thats all for now. I guess I will go read a chapter of my book and then I'll fall asleep again.

Because I was bored....

While waiting for the dryer to get the wrinkles out of my work outfit, I decided I would have a look over at Tshirt Hell to see if there were any new shirts I would be tempted to offend people with. I found a few that I thought pretty good.. here they are.....


I thought this one would be great for Markoos on his new job.


Not just offend, but offend the entire family.


I'm not sure why I thought this was funny, I just did.


I saved the best for last, this one cracked me up.

I'll have to go back to that site again tonight and see if I can find one of those for Boss #1's birthday.

Email of the Day

An 85 year old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. Doc gave the man a jar and said, "take this home and bring me a semen sample tomorrow"

The next day the 85 year old reappeared at the doctor's office, but the jar was clean, and empty!

The doctor asked "what happened?" The man explained: "Well doc, it's like this, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing."

"Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. "

"Then I asked my wife for help, She tried with her right hand, and then her left, still nothing! She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with them out, and still nothing! We even called Adelle, the lady next door. She tried her best too; first with both hands, then an armpit, she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing!"

The doctor was shocked! "You asked a neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

HA HAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

[You] speak an infinite deal of nothing.

I am a Shakespeare fan. I admit to not understanding about 80% of what is said, but it still holds me completely enthralled.

To that end, I present for you, The Shakespearean Insulter. What better way to insult your friends without them knowing they've been insulted (unless they are literary snobs).

Here are a few:

You are a shallow cowardly hind, and you lie.

[Thou art] not so big as a round little worm.

Thou wimpled pox-marked bugbear!

Thou rank ill-nurtured giglet!

Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.

Classics, I tell ya.

Weekend Movies

Boss #1 brought me two movies to watch (we're always trading movies)... Something About Mary, which I had never seen before, and Raising Arizona, which I had seen but was years and years ago, I had forgotten most of the details.

First, Something About Mary. A nice fluff movie. Ben Stiller is a hoot in almost everything he does, but I'm not much of a Cameron Diaz fan. Something about her being all legs and skinny and blond, I think. Anyway, the movie was pretty good. I totally identified with Ben Stiller at the end when he was walking out of her apartment bawling like he was about to die. lol But get real people.. who would pick Ben Stiller over Brett Favre?? That is just completely unrealistic, I'm sorry. I give it a B.

Next, Raising Arizona. Nicolas Cage always seems to play the same sort of personality, no matter what character he is supposed to be playing. Most of the time he is befuddled and confused looking, but for some reason he still pulls it off and does it pretty convincingly (in my opinion). The first time I saw this movie was years ago, when I was domesticated and my sense of humor hadn't fully developed the sharp edge that it now has. Back then I thought it was a bit strange. Now, I still think its a bit strange, but has some hilarious parts to it. The two big overgrown ex convicts driving down the street squawling like babies because they had misplaced the Arizona baby had me in stitches. I give it an A-.

Time for a good horror movie, I think. Two comedies in a row is almost too much for my delicate constitution.

My Puppy

He's a good boy, a bit cocky, a bit territorial, but always there for me when the chips are down, and all he asks is a dog treat and pee trips. He's been pretty much the only stable thing in my life for a long time.

This is the best dog ever.

Things I've Learned

The past couple of years seem to have been one trial after another. Just when I think things have calmed down, something else comes along to mess up my equilibrium. I wouldn't call it all a total loss though, because I have learned some valuable lessons.

The top ten things I've learned in the last two years:

1. Although insomnia can be uncomfortable, it won't kill a person;

2. If you love someone, TELL THEM, don't let them assume anything;

3. Teenagers can be lethal to a person's self-esteem;

4. Some people truly are irreplaceable;

5. There is such a thing as too much advice;

6. Curtains can be torn down even if you use screws to fasten the rods to the wall;

7. Cat pee is forever;

8. Garbage doesn't carry itself out;

9. The old saying, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger," can be taken either as total fact or pure bullshit;

10. I seem to have a bit of a twisted sense of humor.

And a couple of extra just for shits & grins:

11. My favorite saying from 2006 (so far) is, "Holy crap dude, you just got hit by a train!"

12. I have a favorite saying?

Ok so...

I get a call from my mom. We indulge in the usual small talk and catching up, since we haven't spoken in a couple of weeks. She then tells me that she knew the little murdered girl that I posted about earlier. My mom, who still lives in the vicinity, works at the school the little girl attended, and last year she walked up to my mom (who is rather petite) and says, "I'm as tall as somebody!" My mom said the little girl was delighted to be as tall as her.

She says its been a strange week in that town. I guess it is strange times for everyone these days.

Another round of Fark taglines.

It seems to be a slow news day, but as it sometimes happens, the Fark taglines are much more entertaining than the actual stories. Here are a few:

Candidate's campaign fundraising hits snag when even his family donates to his opponent

Man attempts to smuggle dead bird through customs, in violation of airport's "no carrion" policy

Since Canada has elected a Conservative government that promises to crack down on sex and drugs, the number of American vistors has hit an all-time low

Police arrest 76-year-old man after he went door-to-door offering free breast exams. Two women accepted

Small penis drives teen to suicide. If he had only bought a Harley or a monster truck with loud pipes

Despite the best efforts by residents of Detroit, U.S. records largest decline in deaths in 70 years

Canada scolded to get serious about climate change. Canada responds, "Or what? It'll start warming up? Yeah, we'll get right on that"

Nudist colony in St. Louis vows to be a good neighbor, but opponents fear people will be able to see their members

Dog who collected more than 3,000 balls at golf course rewarded with lifetime membership. Your dog can find two balls anytime he wants but shuns the spotlight

And the best (or should I say most imaginative) one of them all...........

Throwing tampons at Bob Saget during one of his comedy routines will not staunch the flow of bloody awful jokes, period

How could I have missed this??

House panel approves high-alcohol beer sales
Associated Press

COLUMBIA, S.C. - Beer connoisseurs could find their favorite specialty brews that have high alcohol content resting on shelves and flowing from taps at local bars under a bill that cleared a House subcommittee Wednesday.

The House Judiciary Special Laws Subcommittee approved a bill that allows sales of beer with up to 14 percent alcohol-by-volume content. That's more than twice the current 6 percent limit.

Businesses that want to make money selling the so-called "gourmet" beers say they can bring more tax money to the state. The beers can cost up to $10 a bottle.

"They're very much akin to fine wines," said David Smith, owner of Green's Discount Beverage Stores, which has locations in Columbia, Greenville, Myrtle Beach and Atlanta.

Georgia and North Carolina have both changed laws in the past couple of years to allow stronger beer sales. Smith said that's tapped a huge market.

For instance, he says 50,295 cases of "gourmet beers" were sold in the last six months of 2005 in the Atlanta metropolitan area.

The legislation now moves to the full House Judiciary Committee.

I don't like beer really, but maybe I should give it another chance. ;-)

The Oklahoma City Bombing

Today is the anniversary. I guess its like remembering where you were when Kennedy was shot, or when the Space Shuttle blew up, I remember exactly where I was. I was on the interstate between Purcell, Oklahoma and Norman, Oklahoma (about 15 miles south of Oklahoma City), on my way to work, and I was a bit late (that was the old me, I swear). They broke in on the radio and said there was some kind of explosion downtown, but it was unknown what or where it was. It was downplayed quite a bit because everyone, myself included, never in a million years thought that something that horrible could happen there.

I got to work and we turned on the radio, details were sketchy but coming in slowly. All the phone circuits were busy so there was no calling anyone. Everyone in the vicinity was ordered to stay off of their cell phones. My friend in the office was getting regular updates from her mother in Houston, who was watching it unfold on CNN and calling us (when she could get through) to tell us what was going on because she knew that things were out of control where we were and getting information was very difficult.

One of the nurses that I worked with came into the office in a panic. Her husband had been heading that direction and she couldn't locate him. She thought he was in the building (turns out he hadn't made it up there yet).

It was a very weird day.

I swear to god we're all going to hell.

Woman Unknowingly Videotapes Sister's Demise

MIAMI BEACH, FL -- In an odd twist of fate, a sister caught her sister's last minutes alive - without even knowing.

Maria Ramoutar and her sister were in separate cars on their way back from Miami Beach when Maria saw a fiery car crash. She decided to videotape it with her cell phone.

Four people inside that burning car died, including Maria's sister.

Maria didn't find out it was her sister till the next day. Now she says she wishes she would have done something to save her.

All I can say to this is.........

Oh. My. God.

Childbirth To Be Area Woman's Least Painful Interaction With Daughter
April 19, 2006 Issue 42•16

SCHENECTADY, NY—The near-indescribable pain of a 30-hour labor and the passing of an eight-pound infant through her birth canal will, over time, prove to be the least agonizing part of Virginia Quigley's relationship with her daughter, the 23-year-old first-time mother failed to realize Monday.

Quigley with an eerily quiet Caitlyn Rose in the calm before the storm that their life together will become.

"Labor was horrible," says a weakened Quigley, who doesn't know the half of it, as she lies in her bed at Divine Savior Hospital cradling her tiny future nemesis, Caitlyn Rose. "This is the happiest day of my life," she adds, unaware of how true that observation will prove to be.

Over the next two decades, the young mother will endure a worsening avalanche of agonies. Unceasingly shrill fits for the first 18 months, followed by a sustained campaign of migraine-inducing petulant disobedience and gratuitous defiance, will typify Quigley's relationship with her daughter.

While the shrieking arguments over persistent truancy from school, harrowing episodes of self-mutilation, and pointless stints in rehab are still safely in the future, Quigley lovingly rocks her newborn, enjoying their last small window of peaceful interaction before it forever slams shut.

Other horrors that await mother and daughter include: a March 2010 ordeal demonstrating how insignificant postpartum hemorrhaging really is when compared to the deep pain of a hysterical 3-year-old Caitlyn repeatedly screaming, "I hate you! I wish you would die!" before a dozen onlookers in the cereal aisle of a local supermarket; the September 2014 scalding death of a pet gerbil, in which Caitlyn's amoral tendencies will first surface, dwarfing the discomfort of torn vaginal tissue; and, in an incident that will easily trump the intense nausea that tortured Quigley throughout labor, the night in July 2017 when the unsupervised 11-year-old, embittered by her single working mother's inability to provide adequate attention, will steal a bottle of Wild Turkey from a neighbor's liquor cabinet and vomit its contents on the living-room couch.

Also slated to occur is a June 2021 incident in which the teenager will have underage sex with a 45-year-old ex-convict named Wheeler, then call crying from a motel room at 4 a.m. A sleepless Quigley will drive 70 miles to pick up her daughter, only to fight bitterly with her all the way home and be two hours late for work, causing her to lose her low-paying job.

Quigley geared up for motherhood by reading child-care guides and sincerely hopes to be closely involved in Caitlyn's upbringing. However, Caitlyn's hyperactivity and intense flashes of temper will cause her frightened and intimidated mother to retreat into apathetic numbness, which will only accelerate Caitlyn's feelings of neglect and lay the groundwork for a life of destructive behavior.

As the Quigleys prepare to check out of the hospital and take Caitlyn back to their small two-bedroom home, they remain oblivious to their tragic future, including the unexpected arrival of police and child protective authorities alerted by concerned neighbors who will overhear a fight in which Quigley's then-boyfriend, Glenn, will beat and rape 13-year-old Caitlyn while Quigley lies passed out in the kitchen from a punch to the face.

In perhaps the most morbidly poetic chapter of the troubled relationship, a cancer-ridden Quigley will die alone, burdened on her deathbed with the worst pain of her life, after her repeated pleas for aid and comfort go unanswered by Caitlyn, who, though longing for reconciliation with her mother, will refuse to return the calls, saying she is "done" with her.

I realize that this is supposed to be satire, but DAMN.

Courtesy of The Onion.

Interesting Article

I just read this article (courtesy of Fark). I have to thank this guy for the best laugh I've had in weeks.

Train bash survivor thanking metal gods

RED DEER -- The metal gods were smiling on Jesse Maggrah.

The 20-year-old man was walking beside railway tracks on Sunday, the Norwegian heavy metal band Gorgoroth cranked on his portable CD player, when he was hit by a freight train.

Maggrah said he did hear the blast of the train horn just before he was hit.

"I tried to jump out of the way, but I guess not in time," he said yesterday from his bed at Red Deer Regional Hospital Centre.

"It was just instant. I was just walking and then I was on the ground. I wasn't sure what happened. Then I saw the train stopping up ahead. I thought, 'Holy crap, dude, you just got hit by a train**.' "

Police say the engineer and conductor on the northbound Canadian Pacific Railway train saw the man on the tracks several kilometres south of Red Deer. The crew blew the whistle and attempted to stop, but they were only able to slow the train to about 50 kmh before hitting him.

Maggrah was thrown four to five metres from the tracks. Stunned, he moved his arms and legs to check for damage.

"I knew I was alive, so that was good."

He has several broken ribs, one which is poking into a lung, his doctors have told him. Maggrah is also very sore and stiff, and is having trouble walking.

Maggrah said he didn't hear the train over his music and he didn't feel anything through the ground.

"Maybe the metal gods above were smiling on me and they didn't want one of their true warriors to die on them. Otherwise, I'd be up there in the kingdom of steel**."

Police say no charges are pending against the man.

**HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA (Emphasis mine, it was too good to pass up.)

News from Home

This story has made the national news, which is not surprising, the gruesomeness of it all. I lived in that town for a long time. I spent a lot of time at the Library. The church I attended was just down the street... the police chief that is interviewed is the father of the kid who my daughter had her first date with. I don't know the little girl's family or the killer, but I can picture their apartment complex as if I was standing in front of it looking at it.

Its a nice, quiet, typical small town in the middle of Oklahoma. If the kids aren't safe there, they aren't safe anywhere.

The world has gone crazy. I'm not so sure I want to live in it anymore.

Awake

Here I am again. The middle of the night, unable to sleep. The events in my life in the last few weeks has left me suffering from insomnia and an upset stomach to the point of not eating. Although the not eating part is probably doing me good, in the long run it can't be good for me.

God I wish I could sleep.

Oh My Poor Head

The person that told me that white wine doesn't cause hangovers (as bad) was a lying bastard.

My first hangover.. isn't it cute.

Life Lessons

I saw a banner add today that really hit home. It was supposed to be a comical thing, and was a small statuette of a girl at a computer that said, "Merlot and email do not mix." It was perfect.

But it did not say Italian Pinot Grigio does not mix.. so I'm good to go. :) I absolutely love Italian wine.

I am avoiding my email button though, just to be sure.

Still not smoking

It has now been 5 months since I quit smoking. It has been long enough now that I can smell it on other people when they have been smoking, or around someone who has. It has also been long enough that I can sort of understand people who have quit who nag other people to quit. I mean really, I have the least will power of anyone on the face of the earth. If I can quit anyone should be able to.

I've also lost quite a bit of weight, which I hear isn't supposed to happen when you quit smoking. A few more pounds and I'll be down to what I was after my divorce, and I looked pretty damn good then. (Or so I was told at the time. lol)

I was an idiot when I thought 2006 was going to be an easier year. But I'm an annoyingly eternal optimist. Tomorrow things will be better.

Ouch

Have you ever gotten an email that made you feel like you've been punched in the gut? Hard?

I have.

Why

Why is it that when a certain anonymous person (hereinafter known as "Jane Doe") starts to feel optimistic about things again, and doesn't wake up cringing at the thought of having to face the day again, why is it that certain other anonymous people (hereinafter known as "John Doe") finds it funny to cause Jane Doe continued pain, and continues to post ugly things on his website about her. Jane Doe is having trouble coming to terms with John Doe's continued escapades.

Jane Doe has been through this before, during a semi-nasty divorce, when Jane Doe's ex-husband saw fit to inform the entire town of their personal business, and to say things about her that he knew would make himself look like the wronged one and in need of the world's pity. Jane Doe recognizes this tactic for what it is.

However, Jane Doe is extremely disappointed to see John Doe resort to such behavior, as John witnessed Jane go through the pain of it once before.

Jane Doe isn't handling things very well these days.

Another Great Website

This site has some of the funniest posts I've seen in a while. Here lately laughs have been a little short in my neck of the woods, so this was a welcome find.

I read every single post while on my lunch break. lol

Okay so...

Yesterday I'm at work (where else would I be). Boss #2 is on vacation down in Florida so I am taking his calls. I pick up the phone, and on the line is a guy with a serious Scottish accent, and he is seriously PISSED off. I am usually pretty good at calming people down, but he would have none of it. He wanted to come pick up his file immediately and find another attorney, he had decided that we weren't of any benefit to his case at all, etc etc... well, I ask him, is there someone else I can let you talk to, I don't want you to be this upset.. he said, "I have no idea (in that cool Scottish way), how many people are in your office??" Ummmm.. lots? (hehe) I finally convince him to speak to the senior partner (Boss #1). Boss #1 has diplomatic talents out the ass, and soon has the guy calmed down. Alrighty then.

30 minutes later the receptionist buzzes me, says its that guy again do you want to talk to him? I took the call and the man launches into an explanation about how the installers put the wrong windows in his house and that the neighborhood association was harassing his family and filing complaints on him for no good reason at all. Of course, being the sympathetic person that I am (and loving the accent), just sat there and listened, trying to figure out where the conversation was going. I finally ask him, do you need to speak to your attorney about it? No no no, he has an attorney and they are going to sue, etc etc.. I say well yeah, I know you have an attorney, we're your attorney. He sat there for a minute and said, "What?" I said you do know this is [boss #2]'s office, right? WHAT???? He had been trying to call the gas company (although I still haven't quite figured out why the gas company would care about his windows). Anyway, he then launches into apologizing profusely, explaining how bad of a day he was having (that much was obvious), and then told me to go get a cup of coffee (already had one, but thanks). Alrighty then...

An hour later boss #2 calls from his vacation in Florida to check on things. I tell him about his irate client, told him how it was handled and that things were cool until he comes back to the office. Boss #2 didn't take it well. He was PISSED. He demanded the guy's phone number. No no no, its taken care of, talk to [boss #1] he has all the details. (It so happens that boss #1 had stepped out of the office, unbeknownst to me.) I explain that the guy has had a really bad day and having his attorney call and yell at him probably wasn't a good thing to do (Scottish people are scary when they are upset). He again demanded the guy's phone number. I gave it to him. I still have no idea how it ended.

I bet you big bucks that Boss #2 called up the irate scot and told him he was just calling to check in and make sure everything was okay. Boss #2 may be a lot of things, but he can suck up with the best of them. Although when I told Boss #1 about it, he sat there for a minute with a strange look on his face, then snickered about how he would love to sell tickets to that fight.

Wow that was a lot of typing to tell a story that had no significant plot and no satisfying ending. Personally I hope the guy calls back. I don't mind if he's pissed, as long as he keeps talking. ;-)

Hmmmmmm

I got an email today with this odd sort of celtic horoscope thing, it lists the type of trees you are by your birthday. I turned out to be a Walnut Tree, which had the following description:

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

I don't know about you, but if I saw someone described that way I'd be scared of them. lol

Today's Horoscope

The term 'creative type' doesn't even begin to do you justice, you know. You are more of an 'incredibly productive super generative creative type.' You take every bit of raw material the world throws at you -- paints, paper, digital tools, happiness, pastels, sadness, tragedy, comedy, mud, clay, rock -- and you make it sing. This is a real gift -- don't forget to be grateful for it.

Ooooooh. Another ego stroker, hehe. I love those (and needed it about now as well, its been a helluva week).

Something we should all own.....

My favorite actress posted about traveling and included a quote about how most Americans don't own a passport. I have been told that exact same thing by my best friend, who has made fun of me on many occasions because yes, he was right, I didn't have a passport.

Until now.

I decided to expand my horizons and applied for a passport. I should get it in the next few weeks (unless they proclaim me to be a terrorist). So, in honor of my new status as a passport holder, I am planning a major trip at the end of the summer. I plan to be a touristy foreigner in a country heretofore unknown to me, taking pictures of totally inane objects and blissfully unaware of the locals laughing at me. I am so excited by the idea that I find it hard to concentrate on much else.. not to mention scared shitless because I'm going by myself. Needless to say, when I have a little bit of time to kill, I end up looking around for things that will make my trip a more pleasant experience.

I will share something with you that I just found. It should be a requirement for every passenger on every plane trip.

Flatulence Filter

The Flatulence Filter is a breath of fresh air for you and your fellow passengers! Flying can cause many travelers to experience uncomfortable intestinal gas, which in turn can lead to embarrassing flatulence. And at 30,000 feet, it's difficult to blame the dog! The Flatulence Filter looks like an ordinary seat cushion but contains an activated carbon air filter that absorbs odors immediately and lasts up to 12 months. Ideal for airplane, train, or car travel, it has a handy carrying handle. Favorably reviewed in Business Week and Prevention Magazine. (17 x 15 x 1"; 11 oz)

The green font color was totally on purpose.

I realize that some of you world travelers have probably already tried out this amazing item. Please feel free to post a review in the comment section.

Today's Horoscope

You've come to a fork in the road, all right. Though this fork might look more like a starfish -- with choices leading in nearly every direction. Which way do you go? North? West? North by northwest? East? You can always turn around and go back down the road you came from, you know. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by all these possibilities, embrace them. In all likelihood, each path you could choose holds its very own joys and sorrows.

Geesh. That's no help at all.

You guys are absolutely right.

I was being a big baby, taking my toys and going home in a snit, and I really have no idea why.

But I keep seeing things that I would love to put in a blog, and for the life of me I can't come up with a better word to name a blog than Boondoggled, not to mention the thought of transferring my archives to a different site caused me more pain than hearing about "Niffer." (I think that must be a sign that I don't really give a shit. LOL) So here I will stay.

I have the best blog friends ever!