WENT OUT WITH MAXIE TODAY! <3 (baka lester didnt want to come)

Met max on the bus and we made our way to PS! Wanted to get a pad on my clarinet changed cuz it was leaking, but they said i needed to change the whole set cuz its so old and worn out and all. It costs a bloody $214!! So we said we'd think about it and went off. I'm going to check with Accent first. Maybe its cheaper there, who knows?

Went to city hall after that, intending to go to Funan. However, when we came out of the MRT, IT WAS RAINING!! GAH. So we decided to go to Raffles City to look for baka's wallet. Tried looking for shaun after we found out he was working at the Robinsons there, but no luck, his shift hadn't started. So found a wallet for lester, and went back to Funan. Bought max a deathadder! x) SEE MAX YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS SO EX. Now your birthday is in like 2 weeks, and im broke. :( Oh well. Making you happy is worth it. Yeah so then ate at Ajisen Ramen, max treat, and knn it was so EX! =/ Well not my fault i just ordered one bowl of Ramen.. Went to Max's home and slack after that...

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm back!

Oh no. I realised i owe hilmi and meng a letter :( Forgot to send on the plane home.

So. China was pretty darn great! (oh god i bought make-up) I went to Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Hk and Zhongshan.


Guangzhou
I stayed there for 3D2N. Pretty much went shopping most of the time. Went up to baiyun shan where the view was absolutely beautiful. And all the chinese locals were playing chapteh. You know that thingy with feathers that you kick around. They were using these bigger ones and they stand in a cirle and kick it to each other. It was uber cool, and uber fun, except that i can hardly kick it. Keep missing. I bought one, but i think the feathers are all crushed by now. :( Bought like 2-3 pairs of jeans, which were pretty nice, and for only less than $12! PWNAGE. Did my first manicure at Guangzhou too. Painted it a nice shade of pink. However, the more i looked at it after that, the more disgusted i got. Pastel pink DOES NOT SUIT ME.

HongKong
I stayed HERE for 6D5N. BORINGGGGGGG. By the end of the 6 days i practically couldn't wait to leave. Stayed the first night at the Disneyland Hollywood Hotel! It was damn cool. Everything had the mickey mouse symbol. We went disneyland for the first and second days. Had 2-day passes cuz we were staying in the hotel. WAY WORTH IT. I LOVED the Mickey's Philharmagic thingy. It was this 3D show with all the cartoon characters and stuff, and they included sense of smell, and touch, blowing air at us during the carpet ride from aladdin, and in the dinner scene in beauty and the beast, we could smell foood! mmm. Oh they sprayed water at us during some scenes also. AWESOME. My other favourite thing from disneyland was the Festival of the Lion King. It was this show imitating the lion king stuff, and they had real life singers and all. Props were pretty awesome. So i had SO MUCH FUN at Disneyland, I decided that i MUST MUST go with max next time, to the florida one!!

So the other 4 nights in HK, stayed in Grand Hyatt. Super awesome hotel man. Went to places like Seaworld (which, to me, SUCKED BIG TIME compared to disneyland), Victoria's peak (DAMN COOL TRAM, and DAMN COLD BALCONY, but DAMN NICE VIEW!), and did TONS of shopping. Walk here, walk there. Tired as hell. Didn't like it much. TOO MUCH SHOPPING, but nothing to buy because things were so expensive :(

ShenZhen
So this was a pretty interesting place. On the first day, we went to LuoHu Shopping Centre. Amused me pretty much. "Missy! want to buy sun glass! come! take a looky!" Me and my sister were strugging to stop ourselves from laughing. "come! cheapy! missy take a looky!" LOLOL. Went to Windows of the World. Cool place man! Eiffel tower and everything. But when we were in the elevator up the eiffel tower, i was kinda scared, cuz it was so creaky and everything! Who knows if it was going to fall! And the height.... ugh i rather not think about it. Fear of heights :( Didn't really do much there though. Walked around and stuff. Thats all.

ZhongShan
So my dad works here. Not posted, his company factory just located there. GAH. His boss is nuts, from what i hear from his and my mum's talk. Nothing much to do here. Pretty much the same old shopping and stuff. Bought makeup from there... etc. OH, on Christmas, I visited my Dad's company's factory! got to see how they made speakers and guitars and stuff. COOL STUFF. After that, went to this restaurant and ate Crocodile paw soup, and ostrich meat. Lol, well there's a first time for everything! Thats pretty much the most interesting thing that happened there. Other days were just more shopping. Yeah.

So now i'm here.

-_-

WORST FUCKIN DAY OF MY LIFE.

Don't ask.

Free-IQTest.net

Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test

W00t! I never thought I'd see the day when I'd bowl above a hundred. I'm 'I' btw. M is Max, L is Lester and W is Woon! And the best part, I bowled it all with a seven pounder! Lol. My first even 'over-hundred' score ! :D So basically that was the best day I've had in a long long while. Bowled at Marine Cove, where we went cycling. Me, max and woon all felt sick after cycling. Lol. Rested awhile at Macs, and then went to the bowling alley. Had loads of fun. :)

At night, we went to watch the gala premiere of The Golden Compass. Brilliant show, and I loved it! :D and I love max & family for letting me watch it with him. :D Haha. It opens today, i think. Those who haven't watched it and can't wait, GO WATCH IT NOW. You won't regret it. :)

I'm starting work on Saturday!!! Can't wait for the day to come, I'm so excited! So I found a job as those servers in banquets, and its on an ad-hoc basis, so no five day work week for me! :D LALALA. The only horrible thing is that I have to don make-up, which I utterly utterly hate. But I guess it can't be helped. Anyone wants to work with me in this job? I wouldn't mind company! Its $6 an hour anyway, at either Suntec or Novotel. CANT WAITTTTT! :)

Dear, ilu! :D

If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can only pick one!).

Here are your choices:
1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue Pie
4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate on Chocolate
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake

No!!!!! you can’t change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully what your choice will be…………..

OK - Now that you’ve made your choice this is what the research says about you…

SCROLL DOWN—

1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE — Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES – You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE — Smooth, sexy, &articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don’t try to walk and chew gum at the same t ime. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING — Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE — Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. Can be very emotional.

6. CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE – Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM — You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don’t like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

8. CARROT CAKE – You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

*quiz taken from Rachelle's blog


I'm brownies. I'm not sure if its true. You tell me!

okay, so i'm finally updating again =)

So, haven't really been having much luck in finding a job. Lester must be cursing me everyday. tsk. These few days I've been going everywhere searching for a job, but no one wants to hire me!! :(

What else do I have to say...

Going to Metz to stay over tonight~ Nyoro~ lol. FINALLY i get to stay over!! YAY. hope nothing bad happens though. GAH i really cant think of anything to blog....

"It's crazy right?" Trixie interrupted. "To love someone who's hurt you?"

"It's crazier to think that someone who hurts you loves you," Janice replied.

___________________________________________

time to ponder this quote...

Bloody temper.

I MISS LESTER. He's coming back tmr! Yay! :D

Birthday's in 3 days!! :D Yeah, and Bio & SS 'O's are in 4. T.T
looks like I'm going to miss my birthday celebration altogether :(

MAX IS EVILLLLLLL. He's making me go deaf with his noisy guitar in the phone. :( SHHHH MAX. I know you're reading this.

So far 'O's have been pretty okay, and the days have been going fine. I quite enjoy this week. get to talk to max every night! :D BOO MAX. ilu x)

Going to max house soon. lolz. FOOOOD. ok bye.

So Annoying!

Lolz, had tuition in the morning, was supposed to wake up at 8am. But they made me slp at 3am cuz were conferencing on my phone. The convo was pretty amusing though. From being super sleepy at 1am, when max brought up the new dota i was awake again until the end of the convo. i was expecting to fall asleep on the phone. But apparently not! xD

Went out with Kara, Maween & friends yesterday (with lester and max xD ) It was fun! Haha. We were so scared we were going to be late cuz supposed to meet at 11am.. but when we got to marina square kara was hiding and no one else was there... So lester went to play a game of max tune! So cool haha. And max disappeared somewhere o.o He came back with Kara & Maween a little while later though. Then we went bowling~ Lol. I got 95 first game, 98 2nd and 3rd game i screwed up. forgot the score :( Oh well. Next time I'm going to get above 100! x))

After that, we went ice-skating! Haven't been there since the last time I went with lester, naan and the rest. It was pretty fun with the icewars and all, besides the fact that I had to protect max and do whatever i could for lester, which wasnt much since he was targeted all the while. Poor guy. ( LOL @ LESTER!! ) Didn't succeed at making Kara fall down :( Oh wells. haha.

We took Neoprints! Haven't taken in a few million years x) I'm nt going to post them here though. Need to respect people's privacy. But there were a few cool shots. I got all the left overs >.< lols but nvm.

After that,took train to amk & went to the AMK Hub to hunt for food. Waited at MOS Burger for super long!! >.< After that, took bus to Serangoon Gardens and went to Max's house to take Badminton rackets! Played badminton at chartwell. When we got tired, we went to play on the swings and everything. Had alot of fun at the park! x) Lol. Then when I got home, conference until three.

However I was reading blogs today, and I was annoyed >.< Hey kara, i know he's ur enemy but you dont have to keep posting bad things about him on your blog. Words CAN hurt, y'know? (not me obviously. but w/ever) We aren't really obligated to be nice to you. So yeah maybe you should cherish your friends a little more. ( I'm not referring to myself OR lester ) Be nice, and people'll be nice to you.

K w/ever at that. Oh well. GAH I WANT TO PLAY DOTA BUT MY DAD IS AT HOME >.<"

HELLO.

I wish i had more self-esteem. & courage, for that matter.



Went out to macs to study with max ytd. Guess who I saw? CORDELIA YEO! Haven't seen her in so long! haha then stupid max kept sending dumb msgs with my phone, waste all my money... >.< Haha now he's friends with her. Cool eh? OH YEAH. He made 2 new friends yesterday becuz of me. Delia, and his neighbour, Valerie. Apparently, she lost her wallet, and this woman came by to drop it off at her house but she wasnt at home. So we took the wallet frm her and wrote Val a note so telling her to call max. She called at 11+ lol.

MAX! WINDSHIELD WIPERZ!! :D and the korean song hahaha. Hm hmhmhm hmhmhmhmhmhmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm !! :D so fun to annoy you LOL.

O levels has officially started. Had Chem prac today, which was AWFUL. OMGZWTFBBQDIEEEEEEEEEEE. All wrong! (ok whatever im noob :( ) Oh well. EH O LEVELS! HURRY UP OVER SO I CAN GO OUT CAN! I miss Adam & Naan & Woon & DK. Lester.. well i see him alot so who cares :D lol.

I hope those egg/neewam or whoever else who's disturbing lester leave him alone. Its so sad to see him being ganged up against by many people. And knowing him, he'd never do such things. So Lester, you know what to do. Tell them to **** ***! :D

Hello. I'm only blogging cuz i have free time in the library and there's seriously nothing better to do :(

IM HUNGRY.
& TIRED. :((

Going out to get Ame's birthday present later! Don't know what to get her yet :( Oh well. I'm very tempted to just go home. Lazy to go out today. Was supposed to go to the METZ ! :( Life sucks.

22 more days to O levels!
As the days pass, the more I'm thinking I'm not going to make it. I'm about as hopeless as you can get :( My biology is totally screwed. I just cant make myself sit down and study. Hopefully I will get down to business soon cuz if I don't, GG.

RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH.

Wow, September alr. DAMN YOU PRELIMS.

I WANNA GO OUT WITH DAR. :(
Forever only wna stay at home play comp play guitar one. so boring. >.<
Your house is getting a little sian.. :(

I hate studying. BIO sucks, CHEM sucks, GEOG sucks. the rest still can. I LOVE Amath :D
All the silly memorising stuffies. I wish there was a microchip to insert into my brain then I dont need to study...

NVM MAR. O LEVELS COMING. :D
SOON soon SOON soon SOON!
You shall study hard and pwn them all! YAYYY.
But I have no discipline :(
My phone gone liao still got other ways to talk to people...
Parents out straight away use comp...
Whole day fussing about darling...
HOW?!
So many distractions...
So little time..
Bio first day, then Geog, then Chem.. I'm gna die for them all.
MAR MUST START STUDYING! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!


All I want to do is hold you.

So many things have happened since I last posted, and I HAVE to rant, or I think I'll explode.

Well, these past few weeks have been about the best ever. Though it has been band prac after band prac after band prac (and alot of procrastinating), there has never ever been a moment I've regretted joining band. Band has, after all, become my life.

First there was SCGS combined concert with SMKSA Kedah. That was a week of daily band pracs to get ready for the concert. The SMKSA band was great. Blasting trumpets, entertaining dances. The two days they were here really wasn't enough. Played Pirates of the Caribbean, Phantom of the Opera, Latin Gold, Shrek Dance (again =.=) and other pieces. They were ok, but we got owned by the kedah band. I love SC Band all the same (:

Then the following week, we had PhilYouth concert. That was totally pWnAgE. Two night practices before the actual day to polish off ends, then it was PHILYOUTH IN CONCERT! Got good comments from my friends who went for the concert, and I'm happy with it. Made new friends too (: I'm going to practice hard so that I can get into JC band! Yay.

Yesterday, we announced the new posts for the 07/08 Band Committee. There were some happy faces, and some sad. Couldn't stay to hear the new 07/08 band play though, cuz i had to rush off. But I'm pretty satisfied. Ending my term in SC Band tomorrow. I can't believe it! Four years! But yeah, I guess it has to come to an end sometime.

Today, I'm rushing to get all my handover stuff done before tomorrow! :( '


SC Clarinets, you guys will always be in my heart <3

070707

LIVE EARTH today. LP rocks :D WEAR GREEN TMR! :D

oh mannnnnnn. Bio test on Monday. I HATE STUDYINGGGG. :( i wish it would all go in.

I said some things that I shouldn't have today, & I'm sorry :( please forgive me. i take them all back.

I feel so lonely. AGAIN.



And to the ones in which we sing,
We are honored you let us in
I remember the thoughts of many things,
Of the glory that you bring.

Another Concert!

Philharmonic Youth Winds In Concert

5 August, 5pm

Singapore Conference Hall

Tix @ $10

Repertoire:

Noah's Ark

Poet and Peasant Overture

Westside Story

English Folk Song Suite

& more.

-----------------------------------------------

Come support us! ty :D

VIVA LA BAND

28th July 2007

7pm
Khoo Auditorium, SCGS

Tix @ $10/$15

_____________________________

If interested, email/call/sms me.

Not sure of repertoire, but some pieces we're playing include:

Madrigalum (SYF choice piece)

L-O-V-E

El Bimbo

Latin Gold
POTC (TBC)

High School Musical (TBC)

I really hope we're playing POTC. We've been practising really hard for it.. so.. we'll probably be playing. Anyways, come support SCGS BAND! ( and me! lol =/ )

Bu hu hu.

I'm sick. Sunday night, i went to the market, ate porridge and drank soya bean, and the next day... POOF. FOOD POISONING. >.<

2nd day I didn't go to school already, and I'm showing no signs of getting better.
I HATE PILLS!! Can't eat pills for nuts. I tried to swallow the chinese charcoal thingy. nearly DIED.

Kw sent me POTC:At world's End OST! <33 Listening to it now. It rocks. I think out of the three POTCs, this has the best music. Helping my maid transfer songs into her mp4 now. Comp is lagging. shouldnt blog anymore. bb.

Mar, just ignore him. >.<

FUCK LAH. FRIDAY ALSO CANNOT.

I AM SO PISSED MY HEAD IS GONA EXPLODE. WTF.

I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THIS. I REALLY HATE IT.

__

I knew it was too good to be true.
Sigh.

Oh well. Band! :D Been great seeing the juniors again. Had interviews today. So tiring. But there are people who have great potential to become majors. And the questions we asked.. LOL.

After that, went over to Max's. Supposed to help him do DSA stuff, but ended up playing pirates on his clarinet! I love pirates! <3 After that we went to Far East Plaza cuz he had to cut hair. Ate chicken rice! Haven't eaten that since the sec 1 outing with seniors? It was pretty cool :D Then came home.

& here I am! [after a nice long bath]

ONE MORE CHANCE, FRIDAY!! :D

& the days go by..

I haven't started doing anything, and poof! One more week to exams.
WHATEVER SHALL I DO?

Well, I got lectured by my parents for being addicted to the comp.
Gotta stop being rude to parents if not I'm gonna get owned.
Gotta find some way to get my allowance if not I'm not going to have any money for Thursday!SHIT.

Bored as hell.
Think I shall go sleep early tonight since I have no one to talk to..
Maxy! :(
Well, OK. Forget about it. I WILL PERSEVERE!

Hah, Band? It's become kind of a chore. I hate the pieces we're playing. BAHH. 'Pirates' is nice, just that my tone sucks on the high notes and i get very pissed during band. When that happens, I don't put in effort, and POOF. .........................There goes mar.

OH YEAHHHHH. My dad just gave me my allowance. WOOHOO. $30 for thursday ftw! (thats the whole of my allowance as I used up my savings on other stuff.)


THURSDAY THURSDAY THURSDAY. Yay.
I don't feel like going out on thursday. :(
I want to... but... I feel like my hopes are going to be crushed.

NEW SKIN! :D

<3

Play!

Yo.

Spent the last 2 days with Maxy (:
Went over, fooled around, WANTED TO GO BOWLING but in the end didn't..
Watched EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND Season 7! :D :D :D
heh.

Yesterday night, went to watch Play! A Video Game Symphony with dear.
& omg, was it awesome.
Who knew orchestral performances could be so entertaining?
Met Georgia there. haha. Tried to sms her sis but she wouldnt reply so.. Oh well.
Max got intervied by a ST Life journalist! So cool! lol. Waiting for the article to come out.. lol.

@Max: Meathook! (miss) Vacuum. (ahhhh) Entangling Roots. (LET ME GO!) Greater Bash. (!!!) What was that... Gust of Wind? (LOL) ^^


Going out for dinner tonight :D
& its Father's Day tmr... crap havent gotten present. :(

<3Play!, <3MAX! :D

mar doesnt deserve to be here.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BRAIN DEAD A WHOLE CHAPTER OF TRIGO TYS CAN MAKE YOU UNTIL U TRY IT.
For those of you who have, gj!

-die.

I read someone's blog just now.
& I realised how happy some people can be with their life.
& here I am complaining and complaining.
I regret everything that has happened the past 3 years.
But its too late now, there's no turning back.

Looks like I just have to face the music & deal with everything that I got myself into.

Jeez, I wish I could be happier.
Every entry seems to be about my sad life.
I miss God,
I miss happy moments which came on a daily basis,
& I miss life.

I know you try to make me happy all the time, sorry im so moody lately :(
I'll try to change, I promise.

Philwinds concert today.

Im going out in abt half an hour.
Aiming to learn how to play More Than Words.
It means alot to me.

---------------------------------------------

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

HI.

I'm prepared to fail both mocks tmr.
its almost 11pm.
& guess what! I havent started studying.

So....

I'm not going to. (or maybe during chem tmr.)
Though i practised my clarinet for quite awhile today.
DAMN, still not perfect.
Oh well.
I haven't got my VJC form done ! Oh god.. >.<

DIE LAH.

sigh. Actually. I hate failing tests.
But I'm just so fucking lazy >.<

AND DARLING where are you! COME HOME!

Depressing.

I have so many things to be depressed about i dont know where to start.

You dont have to read this post if you dont want to.

#1 - Max refuses to go for tuition ltr.
K you may go like "oh whats the big deal", but its him that keeps me going for tuition, if not i'll be ponning every session. And if he doesn't go, the class will be so quiet and boring, which i hate. So now i dont feel like going for tuition >.<

*EDITED* After much tears, this problem has been solved. ONCE, and i hope, for all.
[mar dear you have to stay strong.]

#3 - GEOG MOCK IS IN 3 DAYS.
and I haven't really started mugging.

#4 - AMATH MOCK IS IN 3 DAYS.
and I have also barely started.

#5 - VJC AUDITIONS ARE IN 3 DAYS.
and i have barely started practising. Stupid woman called me at like.. 11+ last night and asked me to go for auditions. I was about to sleep ! -.- Oh well. But like.. I'm nt gna get in anyway, so whats the point? Just for fun la.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I AM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW I THINK I CAN JUST DIE.
I feel so small and alone nowadays. I can't cope with 2 full weeks of crap. Maybe one good day la. but maybe its all my fault. maybe the reason you *****ed was because of me. maybe i should start studying for Os without any distraction. maybe i'm the one whos distracting you.






But who am I kidding?
I can't make it without you.

Makes me wonder...

:DDDDDD

I'm in a really good mood today, because maxy had lunch with me ytd! :D

And you see how little things can really improve my mood.

I am going the wrong way, and I'm succumbing to the 'adam's music taste' syndrome. ABIT. =/
I just realise that the songs aren't that bad after all. Lol. Jason Mraz, Maroon 5 ...

... makes me wonder. :D

K, time for more work, and less play. My mum's gna murder me if she turns around and looks at the comp.

TIME FOR....

... WORDPLAY !

(omg there's smth wrong with me.)

TATA !

<33

HELLO.

I watched POTC on Friday with the Adam, Adnaan, and well... many other people. I cant believe its the end. It left me so heart broken, or xin1 tong4, or whtever. BUT AHHHHH.

ORLANDO BLOOM IS SO HOT. =/ I cant believe im still obsessing abt him.. started in p5, omg theres something wrong with me ! (max dont kill me plz) & now you know why i was so whiny that day after the show. :(

OKAY I SHALL STOP OBSESSING ABOUT HIM, OR I'LL BE SIGNING MY DEATH WARRANT.

byebye. (OMG AHHHHH !!!)

the rose <3

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
that leaves your soul to blead

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of wakingthat never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dyingthat never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winterfar beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose

-bette midler.

AHHH i love this song.

BATAM :D

Hello`



HEHEHEHE.



I'm in Batam now! :D Ponn 2 days of school =/ I think my partner is v happy.. dont have me arnd more space to put things... lol. She can utilise my table well, right Geraldine? xD



DID ANYONE MISS ME??? ahaha.



I did the flying fox! from the top of the hotel down to near the pool there, & my dad took a video. Lol. It was damn fun! Went twice! But the guy, he didnt let me jump off the ledge myself! I wanted to feel what it was like to commit suicide =/. But i have a phobia of heights, so.. might as well. :D

K, so first day, flying fox, then we went to the pizzeria to order pizza. xD Brought it back to the room, and played gin rummy until like 10+pm. or 11+ in SG time. Can u imagine, we all slept at 10+!! amazing. lol.

2nd day, went for breakfast at the buffet, which sucked cuz there was barely anything to eat.. =/ , then went to Nagoya for shopping. I didnt really do any shopping there, but I did do a facial! LOL. duno, my sis went to cut hair, then since we didnt really wana wait so each of us did smth at the salon. I had my facial, mum did pedicure, dad did foot reflex.

BUT HELL THE FACIAL WAS OMGWTF PAIN !!! at first it was cream after cream after cream, then duno wth she was doing, felt like she was giving my face 10000 injections... >.< seriously. I nearly died there, waiting for it to end. then after that still put some menthol/eucalyptus shit on my face. i was like thinking ... !! TAKE IT OFF! but.. decided to keep quiet.

We went for dinner at this golden prawn restaurant thing, its like those kelong seafood restaurants where u get to pick ur own prawns and seafood and stuff. I dont eat seafood so we were like feasting on vegetables and rice. lol. Pathetic, i know. But it just looked so good in front of all that seafood! Oh, and we saw how they caught the prawns, THE CRUELTY! when they put the net in, all the prawns were jumping about in the net, and some managed to jump out! but they landed on the floor instead of the water, and died anyway. It was so saddening. :(

After bowling, we came back to the hotel. BOWLING BOWLING! :D Lol, i beat my mum with my miserable score, it was so funny. LOL. 88? and i can beat my mum? she was supposed to be alot better than me. but it was fun. Especially watching my sister. Cuz my sister didnt know how to bowl, she held the ball like.. weirdly. and then walking up to the lane.. she sorta had like a spring in her step, and looked like she was doing a catwalk. Comical! We kept laughing.. then frm hitting pins, she ended up getting half her balls in the longkang.. lol. =/ Played pool after that. My mum, sis and I had no idea how to play, and we ended up taking an hour ++ to complete a game, after taking turns. I only got ONE ball in, wth. LOL, but it was fun. Then at the end the live band came to play for us, cuz we were like the last ones left. They played tears in heaven, knocking on heavens door at our request! they played others, but i cant rmb the title. It was cool :D How often do you get a live band all to yourself?

Haha, then this morning, went swimming! lol. Wanted to do water sports, but then mum said something about how this guy was cooking crab, then he got nipped by the raw crab, then had a wound. He neglected it, and just went about cooking the crab. Ate it, fell sick at night. next morning, woke up with a gangrenous arm, had to amputate it. Died a few hours later, due to some flesh-eating organism introduced into his blood by the crab? So i was too scared to go into the water after that. NO WATER SPORTS. and the beach..wait. THERE WAS NO BEACH! It was just.. murky water. Oh well. So, now its storming outside, and my dad has 2hrs ++ of internet to kill so I'm using it for him.

I miss home, & all the people that come with it, having no roaming SUCKS. I've practically lost contact with everyone back in Singapore.

@ADRIEL; Sorry I couldn't attend your concert!! Wasn't in Singapore. Did you call me? No roaming.. =/ Sorry sorry sorry! mm, another time k?

@GER; Hi, did u collect homework for me? I HOPE YOU DIDNT SLEEP IN CLASS WHILE I WAS AWAY!

@Hilmi; lol, no dota with me , sad? LOL.

@Max; -hug -poke.

OKAAAAAY. Gtg. byebye! I'm coming back today, like WOO! BAND TMR! xD Playing for the concert! :D :D I <3 my section!!

Max's quiz! LOL

Create your own Friend Test here

Max: plz do plz do plz do plz do plz do.

I created a test today!!

Create your own Friend Test here

Hahaha. Heres this test I created today. Go do! hhaha. ^^ xD

Labour Day!

NOKIA MUSIC BUS! <3 Cool seats! lols.





JOSHY!



Close up of the hot guy in the MRT. Those who thought it was max, YOU THOUGHT WRONG!



Nicolyy laboring away on labour day, and joshy in e background!



Closer Up of the Hot Guy in the MRT. <3

GOOD SPELLING! lol....

\

hot guy in the empty MRT... (LOLOLOL. ^^)



JUNIORS!<3



I <3 sec 2 clarinet jrs foreverrrrr. yayyy. ((: Alyssa extra.. LOL.

Cool shot!

Egoistic bastard WEARING MY BADGE. asjkfshfbgfg. bleh.

<3>

Okayy. Random pics from my phone & other sources.

<3

i want to immerse myself in the power of music;
to drown out all the sorrows of this life,
wherein lies all the pain
and the hurt;
only to heal the wounds of the past and the present.

mutilated chicken.

Heartbreakkk.












I hope things get better;
Because I love you.

Marvelous!

I

SO

DO

NOT

WANT

TO

PLAY

BASS

FOR

EBTP.

zzzz. But oh well, I'm stuck playing now, so lets just get it over and done with. BOOOO.

Anyways, I've gotten over whatever has happened and I'm happy now WHEEEEE. SAJC concert tomorrow, PY prac on Sunday, and Band Prac on monday (YAYYYYY)! Y'know actually I'm just trying to delude myself to make myself happy. But.. Haiiz. lol. NVM MONDAY = JUNIORS! There's no way i'm gna stay sad for long (:

&CherylHo, Thanks for screaming my name really loudly everytime you see me along the corridor. It really earns me alot of stares. Lol.

@Nicole, HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! ^^ Forget abt the past. hahaha.

the Root of the equation.

WHY WHY WHY. I dont even feel like going for the concert Saturday anymore, the mood is totally ruined, and I cant stop crying. like WOO.

So I've been telling myself these past few days - "Don't cry mar, no one in this whole $%*&ing world is going to give a damn about you anyway, so don't waste your energy." But well, GUESS WHAT. I lost control today, and the whole world came crashing down on me.

So yeah now EVERYTHING is ruined because of me. I think i should just shrivel up and die. Nicole is sad, Max is sad, and Joshua has to go around cheering everyone up. I hate feeling helpless, I hate making people sad, but sometimes it seems that all i do is that. I feel like breaking off all contact with the world and just hiding in my house. Few will miss me. People in my class won't even give a damn that I'm gone, just like they don't even when I'm there.

I don't deserve max. I swear, to some loser like me, he sure is patient. Nicole? Well, she's really a very very nice person. I'm not saying this just to make her happy, but its true, I can tell, Max can tell, Joshua can tell.

Sigh..

Canon rock!

SEVENTEEN: U LOOK ATTHEIRPROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY

SIXTEEN:WHEN YOU’RE ON THE PHONE WITH THEMLATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOUSTILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.

FIFTEEN:YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER ANDOVER AGAIN.

FOURTEEN:YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM

THIRTEEN:YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.

ELEVEN:WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEARTBEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE SAMETIME

TEN:YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.

NINE:WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.

EIGHT:YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS,WHILE THINKING OF THEM

SEVEN:THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.

SIX:YOU LOVE THEIR HUGS MORE THAN ANYTHING.

FIVE:YOU REALlZE THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM.

FOUR:YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.

THREE:WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...

TWO:You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve.

ONE:You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself.

Lol, did you fall for that? ((:

DING DONG

Yo.

Oh man I've been wanting to post since last friday, and now i've forgotten wht happened tt i wanted to post :(

But anyway I was reading someone's blog, and it kinda gave me a wake up call.

To that person: it doesnt include the lame stuff at the beginning... that one just served its purpose and made me say, "omg so lame, hahaha."

So i was just thinking, that person has a point. and I'm feeling very sad that I didnt do anything about this earlier. I've been in band for almost four years now, and I believe I've hardly done anything worth mentioning. I could be alot better, and that should have been. I think I'm like the lousiest sec 4 on earth, and I still have loads to learn. Thank god for Ms Leong, or I think I'll be like screwed up. Yea, and since PY is my life right now, I think I should start practicing alot harder. As it stands I'm probably the worst there already. So I'm going to practice right after I finish this post.

If you all don't already know, we got a silver. Got a couple of messages from people which cheered me up though, and I couldnt possibly get myself to be sad after that. Regrets, maybe. But I'm not going to let that make me sad. Besides, with my fellow bandmates all around me, and such supportive friends who don't want to see me sad, its not possible to cry. I mean, so its a silver. SO WHAT? It doesnt change the fact that we're still a band, a family DEDICATED to the music we play, our only goal is to communicate our passion through the music itself. So hey band, DONT BE SAD! SILVER's the NEW GOLD! xD And we still rock. NEVER FORGET THE EXPERIENCE AFTER THE RESULTS. Though there were tears, yes. But have you ever seen the band so bonded? For me, that was the best part of SYF. Its so heartening to see everyone cheering for each other, for the band, the teachers and everyone who supported us in this. It was the same 2 years ago, after we got our first gold. But to see it happen even after we've gotten a silver, it was really unexpected. But heartening all the same. I love SC band and all the people who come with it- the sec 4s, the teachers, the WONDERFUL juniors who've worked so hard for this, and our seniors, whom without the support of, we wouldn't have gotten this far. (sry my english. braindead.)

I LOVE YOU SC BAND!

oh and congrats to St Pats and AMK sec! GWH FTW!

In this perfect weather.

Fly away on my Zephyr
I feel it more then ever
And in this perfect weather
We'll find a place together
In the water where the scent of my emotion
All the world will pass me by
Fly away on my Zephyr
We'll find a place together

Its raining. (or not. I think it just stopped.)

Went to Max's house after sectionals yesterday. He was damn random, kept saying that he was a laptop. >.< Then he came my house after that! Haha, but all he did was play guitar for awhile and play a game of DotA. Then he helped me fix my resolution for wc3! Omg i swear everything looks damn nice now. It used to be like shit. Just that I didn't know how to fix it. THANKS! xDDD

Today's Good friday. I'm fasting. Its 3 something. And I'm dying of hunger. AHH. Nvm mar. YOU CAN DO IT! I was playing comp in the morning, then my mum scolded me. "WHY ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!" So I decided to do work. I did my CFC worksheet and the transformation one. Half of the transformation one's blank cuz i have no idea how to do it.

Adriel told me alot of weird stuff... o.O

Can't wait for Sunday!! PY! <3

Currently addicted to RHCP Live in Hyde Park. I've been listening to it ever since my mum scolded me at around 11+. So that makes it.. around four hours? Haha. :D

BAND BAND BAND. Y'think we can get a Gold this year? Honestly, I don't know, but I'd rather believe that we'll get it. (I hope I'm not living in denial here.) A little over five days more, and its JUDGEMENT TIME. Sc-bandits, if you're reading this, put in your best shot, because we've only got this one chance to prove ourselves. So while we're up there, lets make the stage ours, and let everyone in that hall know that WE DESERVE THAT GOLD for the wonderful MUSIC we've made! We've been through 5 months of preparation for this, lets not let that go to waste yea? ((((:

How beautiful a sound can be.

MUSIC NEWS!
1. I'm totally addicted to West Side Story songs now.

And suddenly I've found how wonderful a sound can be.
Maria!
Say it loud and there's music playing;
Say it soft and it's almost like praying.
Maria,
I'll never stop saying: "Maria!"

Spent the whole of yesterday night listening to it. Think I must have repeated it like 30 times over or something. BUT IT STILL ROCKS! :D

2. And I learnt a new song on piano today! Fur Elise! lol. But quite cool eh, I learnt it in one day! xD Next, I'm going to work on Moonlight Sonata, unless anyone has anything else to suggest that's not too hard. Classical please, I don't want to end up playing anymore chinese songs. 2 is enough for me.

3. I bought my new mouthpiece! B40lyre! ( thus leading to my empty wallet :(((((( ) Actually I don't find much difference. Maybe I haven't really been playing properly. But yea, its a nice change from that 5RV I had previously. I want thinner Zonda reeds :( I do wish I wasn't so broke.

LIFE NEWS!

1. Biology test yesterday was OMGWTFDIE. 'Nuff said.

2. Went out with Lester, Adam and Kahwei yesterday to watch Mr Bean's Holiday. Seriously the lamest show ever. I'm not going to add any spoilers for you guys. But yea I guess TMNT would probably be better than Mr Bean's Holiday, I HOPE. But no, the movie wasn't the highlight of yesterday. It was.... *drumroll*.... THE SAKAE SUSHI BUFFET! I don't usually eat alot, but I guess the rest of them can eat. KW did the ordering for us, with the occasional chipping in of "lets order this!" or "lets order that!" from the 3 of us. Yeah and I think in total we ordered like 20 plates of gyoza? My first time actually eating gyoza. We ordered tofu too, but then no one wanted to finish it. So i played scissors paper stone with lester, and I lost 3 times in a row >.< So i had to eat 3 pieces of tofu. Zzz. And that was when I was already super full.

Then there was still alot of extra food, so we played 7-up. You know that game where you go in a circle and each person says a number, then when the number has 7 inside it or is a multiple of 7, you have to say up. So its like : 1,2,3,4,5,6,up,8,9,10,11,12,13,up,15 etc... Yea. So we went up to a hundred and back down, and all the food still wasn't gone. But guess who ate the most. LESTER YOUNG JHUI HSIEN! (Hah I know how to spell your name perfectly now xD ) In total I think he ate like 3 plates or more of food during the time when we were playing. Every alternate round he would get something wrong and we would be like "HAH! EAT!" Lol. Poor guy. Go improve your maths then we go eat sakae buffet again. haha. Then next one to be eating 3 plates will be me. Lol.

3. I FINISHED MY CHINESE MARCH HOLIDAY!!!!!! Omg I'm so relieved. YAY MAR YAY MAR YAY MAR!!

K tune in to news another time. It is now 10pm, and time for another TV show. (which im not gna watch).

i love you.

Haven't posted in a long time.

Got A1s for both a math & e math tests, yay me.

Now defragmenting my comp. Max sent me this defragmenting tool and some windows care thing. I dont know what it does but i hope its good.

I dont know why, but a great sadness has come over me,

I only feel like crying.

& now even max isnt replying.

SC BAND, as one.

I know no one likes the feeling of being critisized.
No one likes the feeling of being put down because they did something wrong.
I'm not an exception.
I hate people critisizing me.
But I think its necessary anyway.


Today, we had a band exchange with Nanyang, RI, Marsiling and SJI. It was held at SJI, and I didn't see why we had to take a bus all the way there since its like, practically next door. So we sat in the audi and listened to Nanyang play first. I SAW JUDY I SAW JUDY! Haha. Haven't seen her in eons. Anyway, they were pretty good, compared to us >.< RI was like whoaaaa. And the rest.. we didnt really get to listen. So then we were all SO HAPPY to see Mr Yap because we were so worried that he couldn't come. So we greeted him really loudly. (: We went on stage not knowing how we would do, with no sense of confidence at all. I went up just praying we wouldn't screw up, as a band, as a section, and as an individual. Mr Yap warmed us up on stage, but got really frustrated because we really weren't performing up to standard. That got us really depressed. But hey, no fear. Just get this over and done with, and we can proceed to practising for what we're aiming for, that GOLD.

HOWEVER...
During the performance, intonation was so off. I don't know why, I SWEAR I TUNED! Well I wasn't the only one. =/ Bad excuse, I know. Our whole band screwed up, in the end. And we all went off stage depressed. Debrief from all the teachers, and nothing good was said. Practice might be extended to Saturdays, too. In a way, I think its good. One month to SYF, and we still sound like um. NOT what a gold band should sound like.

So today should be a learning point for us all.

K whatever. I cant think of anything else, got distracted cos ppl talking to me in MSN. Another time.

BAND CAMP! :D

OMG WTF? who did my Heymath E-math assignment for me!! Today I signed in and wanted to submit the answers then WTF DO LIAO. Then i look at the date, 12 March. I wasn't at home the whole day on 12 March la WHAT THE HELL. That person only got 19/20 for me somemore. THE QUESTION TT PERSON GOT WRONG I GOT CORRECT. make me print out and do for nothing. =.=" then why don't want to do my A maths one for me huh? :(

On a lighter note, I just got back from BAND CAMP! :D Yay i love my section <33 I was so retarded during the camp i cant believe it. I think I was too high. But yea, I think we bonded alot during the camp. And I learnt something new - THAT CHERYL HO IS PRO AT POLAR BEAR xD. haha. Our band is progessing slowly but surely, and WE MUST ALL AIM FOR THAT GOLD PEOPLE! Don't care how hard it may be, how long it takes, but WE WILL GET THERE! :D Clarinets - PRACTISE YOUR RUNNING NOTES! WE MUST MAKE IT PERFECT SO THAT MR YAP CANT BLAME US~ :D

K i gtg do work now. TOODLE DOO!

I miss magic.

I started out happy today.

Listening to Hana Kimi soundtrack. I was at first estatic, then emotional, well, then the tears started flowing. One reason was because dear brought up the topic of Magic, and the songs (esp zhuan shu tian shi) didn't help the fact that I miss him so much. I still can't face the fact that I won't see him ever again. I can't believe I don't even have a picture of him as a keepsake.

How he always greeted me so warmly whenever I went over - That was one of the things i loved about him. Now, I can't imagine what things would be like, how the house would always be so quiet without him. I haven't gone over yet since then, but a part of me doesn't want to. I'm just scared that the memories will all come flooding back.

He may not be my best friend, but I miss him all the same.

Ammerland

OH MAN. I'm listening to Romanian Folkdances (the clarinet choir one). When it came on i just started laughing and my whole family thought I was siao. haha. It just sounded so funny! Lol. The starting part was like... LOLOLOL.

K anyway, today our whole class was like fighting to go for the Bball match tomorrow. We argued with like all the teachers. In the end Fifi allowed us to go! but we have to cut recess short to go. AH HECK what do I care I'm not even going to study. One thing, I don't really wna go cos I have to conduct sectionals after school? I love my section so I'm not gona pao qi them. (:

YAY i wan my Rovner ligature!! Going to yamaha/accent tomorrow to buy (: (: FINALLY.
Oh and i bought FBTs today. w00t. :D

Yesterday was Alyssa's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :D I went to Yamaha to look for score stand at PS yesterday and they only had a PINK ONE. like OMG? *shudder* haha. So in the end i went down by escalator and I saw Alyssa, Qingyi and Cheryl! hahaha. went wid them to MOS burger, and met JM! (lolololol inside joke. :D) Haha. So yesterday thats basically what I did. Went home, slacked, did homework, listen to band pieces, played clarinet.

Today, I SLEPT IN THE EVENING YEAAAAAA. 5+ - 8pm. super shiok. I feel so invigorated now! haha. Anyway I havent really done much. Basically all i did was play comp and listen to band pieces.

Starstruck.

Man, first day back after a five day "holiday", and boy was it horrible. Not talking about band, that was great. But in the end at 6.25pm, Sheryl and I got chased out by Mr Tee. >.<

I LOVE WESTSIDE STORY! haha. (we found the score in the band library wheeee)

PY prac ytd was GREATTTTT. At least I improved from last week, so didnt feel that bad. BUT I WILL WORK HARD! :D

How come no flautists i know want to join PY. :((((

MOODSWINGS, MOODSWINGS.

SIGHHHHHHHHHH.

Sorry for ANOTHER depressing post, but I just read someone's blog and felt something, so I just had to get this out. It isnt anything big, but well, since I have no one to talk to and my clarinet is so unresponsive, well. I've no choice but to write it here, hopefully someone will understand.

Well, I wont mention who's blog I was reading, but her blog made me suddenly come to this sudden realisation that I'm such a boring person. I mean, sometimes, I cant come up with anything to say during conversations so I find it awkward(esp with girls), but of course this excludes good friends. Then I'm not good at anything, so I dont really have much to feel a sense of achievement about. Anyway, I see all those sociable people, with their big group of friends, and I look at myself. I'm just so inferior. Maybe I should adapt to society?

I think many of you know that I'm not really that open to people that I dont know. Its like.. entering PhilYouth for the first time, I didn't know anyone, but neither did I make the effort to talk to anyone. I was just too shy, and well, kinda scared. And looking around me, half the people know each other. Well, it feels weird, if you know what I mean. Then when I found out during the week that I knew ralph, you have no idea how elated I was, to at least know SOMEONE during the practice. Well, I knew Sheryl. But that was different, in a sense. At least its more comfortable when I actually know someone, and I wont feel that I'm in a world of strangers half the time. They're all nice people, I can tell. (:

Sigh, I was thinking about going for tkd again. Its now on a thursday, and doesnt clash with tuition anymore, so hopefully I can make it. At least I learn self-discipline, and well, it takes my mind of other things for a while. Why? I have friends by my side, and its comforting when we're having fun. And MAYBE, just MAYBE, I can actually learn something new. Hopefully ma'am is there and she decides to teach us something new. I DONT WNA GET STUCK TEACHING PEOPLE PATTERN AGAIN. :(

Y'know, actually I always imagined myself being more open, and more comfortable in social situations, but somehow I can never manage it. I'm always out of things to say. I wish I had more good friends, but I think maybe its my fault. I seem quite dao sometimes. [AND HOW COME I ONLY DARE TO TALK TO GUYS? I find girls so intimidating sometimes. I don't know, maybe when I find things in common with people I tend to feel more comfortable. And well, I do stuff that alot of guys do. So, maybe.] But hey, I'm putting in effort to get to know people better. But I still have to stay true to max, and I will.

Haiiz, I don't know what to say already.

2nd yr anniversary! :D

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I'm so happy today.

I'm having a blast playing with my new reed! Still have to figure out why i keep squeaking on D though. weird.

Anyway, I watched until eps 12 of hana kimi today.. and OMG WU ZUN IS SO HOT. (ops? =/) The storyline is so nice :D And the way that quan takes care of rui xi.. so caring! Man, I wish.. Nvm.

*CLUELESS CLUELESS* <-- If you look at this and you're clueless then you should be (:

AH. TOMORROW IS SUNDAY! PHILYOUTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! :D YAY FOR PHILYOUTH LALALALA.

Ohoh. Today, abigail added me on MSN! sc-clarinets (excluding qingyi), if you dont know who abigail is, she's our new junior! :D YAY AND SHE WATCHES HANA KIMI TOO! ahahaha.

:( Im so bored. No max to talk to, no lester to talk to, no one to talk to. BOOOOOO. K I think I'll go talk to my clarinet then.

Byebye!

P.S. EH MAX! $23!! By tomorrow ok!

WOO.

I've got new reeds!!!!!!!!!

(But I think they're a little too thin. Either that or I'm totally not used to it.)

Oh man. I sound so loud now? But like its so weird, and i totally NEED to change my mouthpiece la. I feel so weird playing with the zonda reeds. I'm totally not even putting any pressure on the reed and the sound totally FLIES out. if you duno wad i mean then nvm. But seriously la.. last time the vandoren one was like I have to put how much pressure then will get a nice sound.. now its like POOF and i start blasting... put pressure i start squeaking like mad.. which sucks cos im so used to the pressure... >:( But I like the tone. Haha. I hope i get used to the reed soon. (:

YEA IM WAITING FOR HANA KIMI AGAIN AHAHAHA.This comp is taking AGES and AGES to load one 10 min clip. =.= OH YAY ITS DONEEEEEEEEEEE.

byebye!

SURVEY AGAIN.

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety!

What is your favorite..
gum: ? I don't eat gum.
restaurant: uhhhhh. duno.
drink: ice blended mocha
season: autumn
type of weather: rainy
emotion: ? i like being emo. GG.
thing to do on a half day: SLEEP LAH WHAT ELSE!
late-night activity: read.
sport: don't play sports. but I like soccer.
city: Singapore? for now..
store: 7-11? duno la.


When was the last time you..
cried: hm, yesterday.
played a sport: 4 years ago, hah.
laughed: while watching hanakimi
hugged someone: umm.. cant rmb
kissed someone: sometime last wk?
felt depressed: THIS WHOLE WEEK!
felt elated: uhh. monday?
felt overworked: From the beginning of the year until now.
faked sick: YESTERDAY HAH.
lied: um. I dont rmb.


What was the last..
word you said: HAHA.
thing you ate: chocolate covered raisins.
song you listened to: the hana kimi opening.
thing you drank: water
place you went to: the kitchen?
movie you saw: epic movie. omgwtfdie.
movie you rented: uh. tuesdays with morrie i think.
concert you attended: duno. loooong ago.


Who was the last person you..
hugged: max
cried over: max
kissed: max
danced with: -
shared a secret with: max
had a sleepover with: max
called: max
went to a movie with: adriel
saw: my grandmother?
were angry with: mum
couldn't take your eyes off of: max
obsessed over: max


Have you ever..
danced in the rain: yes
kissed someone: yes
done drugs: no
drank alcohol: yes
slept around: no
partied 'til the sun came up: no
had a movie marathon: yes
gone too far on a dare: no
spun until you were immensely dizzy: yes
taken a survey quite like this before: yes

how to save a life.

Man, this has been going on for so long, and I can't take it anymore. I'm trying my very best to forget about it. Sigh, how long will this go on?

On the surface, I hope I'm still the same, but I'm so depressed. Right now the only thing i look forward to is PY prac every week, where i hope playing the music will cheer me up somehow. And so I can't wait for this sunday to arrive.

On a lighter note, I'm addicted to hana kimi! Lol. I'm typing this while waiting for YouTube to load (again). I like jing xiu yi! He's so cute! ahaha. and quan looks like some guy from anime. o.o Damn, i want the season to hurry finish, so i can concentrate on other stuff, cos until then, i can't stop watching!

=/

Time after time

If you're lost you can look,and you will find me

Hi! I realised that Hana Kimi is really not bad. lol. Just that I need subs if not I can't watch. So I'm writing this while waiting for the Hana Kimi on YouTube to load. :D

Time after time

I wanna try Zonda reeds! & i want a new mouthpiece and ligature, so I shall start saving!

Allowance: $30/week.
Maintainance spending: $5 for coffee & $5 for others.
=> Remainder: $20.

1 box of Zonda reeds: $14?
Mouthpiece: $125
Ligature: about $100?
Total: $239

So it will take me about 3 months to save up that much. and its three months of INTENSE SAVING. No taking taxis, claim everything else from parents etc. OH MAN.

NVM MAR, ITS ALL WORTH IT.

And I think I shall start today. (OH NO WHAT ABOUT THE CONCERT! :( I hope my dad pays for it. ) Anyway, JIA YOU MAR!

If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting

Today we had financial literacy workshop part I. We learnt about the stock market, and then we played this game which required us to handle our "money" for 10 "years" by buying stocks, property, and the like. I liked it, but it was pretty boring. :( The trainer kept droning on and on and on.... For the first half I fell asleep tons and tons and tons of times. Then during break I ate my first meepok of the year from the canteen! And it was horrible :( I wish the old uncle was still around... Oh and I drank a packet of milo. Seriously milo DOES NOT GO WITH MEEPOK. I felt so horrible after that. During the 2nd half of the workshop I spent the whole time talking to Jacq about games and ATK and whatever else. I wasn't really listening but I was following what the trainer was referring to from the book and it was quite interesting. Though I doubt I'd ever do things like that in real life.

I came home after the workshop. I was supposed to go for CIP but due to the fact that I "suddenly came down with a TERRIBLE HEADACHE", I had to go home and rest. :) I already have 100+ hours anyway. So yea, I was talking to my mum, and she brought the "JC" subject up. I told her I was fixed on going to SAJC, but she refused.

"NO! I want you to go to TJC!"

"ARE YOU INSANE! Its so far away!"

"I want to move to the east anyway so it won't be far away"

"But I don't WANT to go to TJC!"

"Why?"

"Because I want to join SAJC BAND!!!!!!!"

"Why can't you join TJC band?"

"... I joined PY so i'll at least have a chance to get in through DSA!"

"Ok! you get in through DSA! and then once they accept you, you can reject it! You get your wish already what. You got in!"

"(thinking: WTF!?) ... THEN WHATS THE POINT OF APPLYING?"

"I told you I want you to go to TJC. Why do you want to go to SAJC?"

"Because I want to join the BAND!"

"What else besides that? I'm not going to let you go if you don't sell me the idea"

"Fine, if you don't let me go, I'll just not study and get just enough points to get in."

"Ok, don't study. Its your choice what. If thats how you want to plan for your future, go ahead. Its up to you."

(thinking: IF EVERYTHING IS UP TO ME WHY CANT IT BE UP TO ME TO GO TO SAJC?! NOW WHY IS THAT UP TO YOU? =.=)

So then i shut up, no point arguing. She'll just call me rude and give me a lecture on some crap that I probably don't want to hear.

Time after time

Yea, so I finished up my lunch after that and fell asleep smsing. Woke up at around 6. =/ Practised my clarinet until 7.30pm (including 5 mins for dinner in between) I still have another half an hour to go if I want to complete my 2 hours today, but its kinda late.. K but I still have to solve that stupid part of P&P that I cant play.. Sigh.

Okay, time to go.

Survey!

45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone


whats your name spelt backwards?: assiram
What did you do last night?: Talk on msn and use the phone until 12+
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: um. A printable Calendar.
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: EW?
Last time you swam in a pool?: 11 Feb 2004
What are you wearing?: clothes? =.=
How many cars have you owned?: toy cars? alot.
Type of music you dislike most?: TECHNO. omg.
Are you registered to vote?: No.
Do you have cable?: YES!
What kind of computer do you use?: I'm using a Compaq laptop now. Its my mum's.
Ever made a prank phone call?: Yes.
You like anyone right now?: Yes.
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: Yes.
Furthest place you ever traveled?: LA?
What's your favorite comic strip?: Peanuts.
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: DUH.
Shower, morning or night?: night.
Best movie you've seen in the past month?: I've only watched Epic Movie and it SUCKS.
Favorite pizza toppings?: Pepperoni. & CHEESE!
Chips or popcorn?: Chips.
What cell phone provider do you have?: Starhub?
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: WTH?
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: No.
Orange Juice or apple?: Apple.
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: Grace, Denise and Ameeeelia.
favorite chocolate bar?: MARS BARS.
Who is your longest friend and how long?: Lester, 5 years?
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: Never.
Have you ever won a trophy?: Yes.
Favorite arcade game?: HAH, I don't go to the arcade.
Ever ordered from an infomercial?: what? um, prolly not.
Sprite or 7-UP?: 7-up.
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: You kidding? Of course!
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: Where's that? They don't have that in Singapore.
Ever thrown up in public?: Don't think so.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: Finding true love.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No, not really.
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: SPONGEBOB OWNS.
Did you have long hair as a young kid?: Yes. (I'm still young)
What message is on your voicemail machine?: Nothing.
Where would you like to go right now?: PY prac.
Whats the name of your pet?: Don't own one.
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: Converse, and it contains my school books?
What do you think about most?: Now? PY and my clarinet, followed by max. =/

Time for being bored.

SNAP BUBBLES HERE!

A survey!

"The basics"
FULL NAME?: Marissa Low Li-Min
BIRTHDAY?: 4th Nov
BIRTHPLACE?: Singapore
HEIGHT?: 150
HAIR COLOR?: black
EYE COLOR?: black
ZODIAC SIGN?: Scorpio
SEX?: Female
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?: Clothes?

"Your Family"
ARE YOU PRARENTS TOGETHER?: Yes
DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?: Yes
MOMS NAME?: Felicia
DADS NAME?: Roch
DO YOU HAVE STEP PARENTS?: No
IF SO WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES?: NA
IS FAMILY IMPORTANT TO YOU?: Duno.

"Your Friends"
WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?: Max
WHO ARE YOUR 3 CLOSEST FRIENDS?: Max,Lester,and someone else whom i haven't met yet.
WHO IS YOUR NEWEST FRIEND?: Ralph?
WHO IS YOU OLDEST FRIEND?: Lester
WHO IS THE FUNNIEST?: Max
WHO IS THE LOUDEST?: Lester
WHO DO YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME WITH?: Max
WHO IS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU?: Max
WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?: Yes

"Relationships...Past Present and Future"
ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP?: Yes
WHATS THE NAME OF YOUR BF,GF OR CRUSH?: Max?
DO YOU LIKE BEING TAKEN OR SINGLE: It depends.
HOW MANY XS HAVE YOU HAD?: Zero
WHATS THE LONGEST RELASHONSHIP YOUVE EVER HAD?: Coming 2 years.
DO YOU WANNA GET MARRIED?: Yes
DO YOU WANT KIDS?: Yes
IF SO HOW MANY?: 3.

"Favorites"
COLOR?: Royal purple
FOOD?: Teochew porridge
DRINK?: Ice-blended Mocha
ALCOHOLIC DRINK?: I don't drink. Because all alcohol tastes like shit.
SONG?: Beast and the Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold
FAST FOOD?: Subway
SEASON?: Autumn
MONTH?: NOVEMBER.
ANIMAL?: Deer.
PLACE TO BE?: Max's house? or my own house, cos that's where the comp is.
MOVIE?: LotR
CAR?: Duno.

"Have you Ever"
BEEN IN LOVE?: Yes
SMOKED?: No, and never want to.
BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW?: No
BEEN ON A PLANE?: Yes
BEEN OUT OF STATE?: Yes
DRIVEN A CAR?: Bumper car.
ATE AN OCTOPUS?: Yes.

"Who What When Where was the last"
MOVIE YOU SAW?: Epic Movie
THING YOU ATE?: An apple
PERSON YOU TALKED TO?: Max
SHOW YOU WATCHED?: Hana Kimi
PERSON TO CALL YOU?: Max
person you hugged?: Max
time you were drunk?: Don't think I ever succeeded getting drunk.
time you threw up?: The 2nd last time I drank booze.

"Just some questions"
do you have any piercings?: No
tattoos?: No
if you could live anywhere where would that be?: Australia
are you shy or outgoing?: Depends.
who do you look up to?: Ralph
if you could meet any 3 people who would they be?: Duno.

"This or That"
day or night?: Night
mcds or burgerking?: BK
vanilla or chocolate?: Vanilla
flowers or candy?: Flowers
coffee or tea?: Coffee
sun or moon?: Moon
funny movie or scary movie?: Funny
pizza or burger?: Depends on where its from.

"First thing you think of when you hear this word"
spoon: someone licking a spoon? Don't know why.
batman: the mrt
love: heart-shaped stuff.
ice cube: Melon Soda
potatoes: Yum

"Last 10 questions"
who do u miss right now?: I don't want to say.
when was the best day of your life?: Duno.
when was the worst day of your life?: Even more duno.
do you believe in soul mates?: Maybe.
whats your worst fear?: Heights
do u believe in ghosts?: No
what are your 3 most prized possesions?: Max, my handphone, and all the friends I've got now.
If you could be with anyone right now who would it be?: Max
what song describes your life?: Don't know.
whats your most missed memory?: 2 years ago, when I was still single.

UPCOMING CONCERT!

SMU Symphonia
presents

Con L'espressione

Sunday, 11th March 2007
Singapore Conference Hall, Time TBA
Tickets, $15
Conductor, Mr David Glosz

Repertoire
Shenandoah
Exultate
Danse Diabolique
Sinfonia Festiva
Egmonth Overture
Seventh night of July
On main street
Tico Tico
Disney Fantasy

Who wants to go? DANSE DIABOLIQUE IS VERY NICE. :D Anyway, yea gogogo! I'm going also, so yea sc clarinets especially!

Marmite, but Pa might not.

Today was a really boring day.

BOO.

I spent the whole day stoning in class and thinking about the PY pieces that we're playing. Because lessons are boring. And our songs are so nice. and hard to play. So the whole day I was looking forward to coming back home and practising. Taking a break now. I still can't tongue properly la =.= Always got the disgusting sound.. not clean.. How do you make it clean... I get so fed-up whenever I can't do things like this. :( :(

OH.
This afternoon I went to orchard Popular to buy some stuff, so I took 171 after school and stopped outside Tangs. Then from Tangs I took the underpass. When I reached the orchard mrt, this guy came up to me to ask for donations (the kind where they make u listen to them for a looong time then ask you to donate). I don't really like entertaining this kinda people cos usually after they finish talking all their crap I find it hard to refuse. Its kinda 'paiseh'. =/ Anyway, I told that guy I was in a rush, so he went,"Oh ok. Nvm thanks." Then here comes the best part. He turns around slowly to face his 2 friends and shout, "KANINA!!" In that irritated, but sort of desperate manner. I wanted to laugh. But decided not to. So went up to Popular, bought stuff, and came down to take MRT. Then, guess what! He approached me again.(Prolly couldn't recognise me)He asked me again to listen to him and I told him that I was in a hurry. "Wah basket. oops. I mean nvm thanks" LOL. That time I DID laugh out loud. Sry, I know I'm being evil but that guy's reactions are super funny. I bet he's been rejected all day or something. Lol. Poor guy.

K, nothing else to say.

EXCEPT... GO HERE! The Impossible Quiz from Newgrounds.com. SUPER DUPER FUN. :D

ooh.

Get Your Sexy Name

I got the link from rachelle's blog and i thought it was cool! :D

The best time of my life.

Hey.

& today is the 26th of feb.
I went to watch epic movie, and OMG did it suck. The plot was immensely lame. =.=

On the 25th of feb, however, there was PY prac! And it was so fun. We played Poet and Peasant Overture and English Folk Song Suite. Nicest songs on earth! But also one of the hardest I've ever played. Ok, i couldn't play it at all, but i swear I'm going to practise really hard. It was well worth the challenge though. It being so nice and all.

Oh and I just realised I sent Mr Glosz my email as cloudsteel@hotmail.com.. =.= Talk about blur..

K anyway, I failed both geog AND chinese tests. BAH. I'm going to get it frm my parents... but I DID study k! Just not hard enough.. :( Man, how am I going to get into SAJC at this rate?!

Ah, so there's this problem, and I found a short-term(?) solution to it.. but.. will it stay solved?

I hope so.

Black Dog

HELLO! Wow i spent so long listening to nice band songs (: I think im addicted to my clarinet again yay. Shall go practice ltr. HAVE. TO. FIX. MY. TONGUEING.

OH SHOOT! My hp running out of batt and i got no chargerrrrrrrrrrr. :(

Anyway, REMINDERS. CHEM TEST ON MONDAY ! Dumb Qualitative Analysis. Though I think i'll never forget the pretty yellow glitter in the test-tube when you add Lead (II) Nitrate to an iodide. yayness for IODIDES! So people, remember the iodide test okay! (: GOOD LUCK FOR CHEM TEST EVERYONE! > >

I'm so broke this week. Didn't get my allowance yet. So the whole week been living off savings. & because of the ring last week i only had $20 for savings. So thats been lasting me throughout the week. Now I have like three bucks left. Thanks to everyday having to buy lunch or food before i go back to prevent myself from starving. I feel so faint everytime I skip breakfast and lunch. DAMMIT. I miss old times when i used to be able to last the whole day without food... =/

Philyouth prac tomorrow! Hope my mum lets me go. I'm so excited! Hm. okay. Time to start studying.

twinkle toes.

YOOHOO. :D

this week..

(Monday)

Band? normal stuff, nothing happened.

(Tuesday)

Went out with Adriel to watch Ghost Tunnel. He's so nice. :D

(Wednesday)

I can't remember what I did. :/

(Thursday)

Had sectionals! Boring. :( Went over to dar's house after that. Did A-math at his house. Cos he kept daoing me T.T Haha. Then I daoed him back when he started talking to me. BOO.

(Friday)

BAND!! WOO. Kelly made us plan the boring recruit thingy. So sian. Then we had sectionals. So fun! Cos I didn't conduct... Just let them self-prac & then we played tgt as a section. I didnt have to clap. It was so nice. (: I should do that more often. Went for tuition and crapped w michelle, max & andrew. So funny. Haha. Stayed over at Alnwick Rd.

(Saturday)

Got an SMS saying that prac had been cancelled. NUUUU! Changed to Feb 11 7-10pm. OMG. T.T Went out with dar in the afternoon. FUN! :D We went to make couple rings at PS! :D Then we went to cut hair. I look weird now. BOO. haha. Went bk to PS to collect rings and then went to bishan to return my library books. THEN DAR PS-ED ME! and went out w keith and eugene. :( Went out with mummy at night! We went for dinner at Delifrance Bistro @ taka. GOOD FOOD. But my thing took so bloody long and the waiters were so apologetic that they gave my mum a free coffee, and me, a free ice cream!! WHEEEEEEE.

(Sunday)

BAH. Went to church in the morning! Then went to the Converse Warehouse Sale. Bought almost $200 worth of stuff la. And I got so many new and nice clothes LALALA. Bought a new school bag too. :D

Ok my sis is bugging me for the comp. + I have a headache so bye.

Blood Bath.

Sigh. Why do things always happen this way. Its the small little details that matter to me and they NEVER EVER work out. WHY!? WHY ME?

I'm just so hurt all the time now. Thank god i at least have adriel to talk to if not i think i'd die of sadness and boredom and.. well i'd just die. Some people just get all the luck in the world. Me? I try my best and get nothing. It happens in everything. Results, life, whatever you can think of.

Well, i suppose blogging ain't for think kinda stuff. WOO. EMATH TEST TOMORROW. I am SOOOOO happy. Yay. =.="

I FORGOT TO DO MY CHINESE HOMEWORK AGAIN. !$&%. PLUS, i forgot to bring back my geog textbook, so there goes the TYS questions due tomorrow. I am seriously screwing up my school work!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait for tuesday. Lester - LUNCH!! we go eat smth else this time.

Oh, I was learning bloodseeker today. There was about like... 1.. 2 .. 3... 4- 1. yes 1 game that i didnt screw up. Thts good enough for today. I only played 3 games anyway. Lol.

EH ccs is getting not so suck anymore!! :D Today his pudge wasn't so bad! OMFG i better learn to learn heroes faster if not ccs is gona own my ass in DotA next time. AND THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN! Ccs.. I WILL PWN YOU ONE DAY!! :D

Anyone have any idea what ventrilo is? Dar is asking me to join and i duno WTH it is. o.o

& here, i present to you.. John's good deed.

It was a balmy Sunday morning and john was taking a stroll around his estate. He turned his head and saw a couple frantically trying to get someone’s attention. He walked over and they immediately told him their plight. Her cat was very sick and while they were on their way to the vet, a ferocious dog chased her up a tree, their cat was so stricken with fear that it did not dare to come down. They were worried that it might be too late for her by the time someone came.

They begged him to help them and would not take no for an answer. John knew that it was a dangerous task and that only he could decide the fate of the poor cat. So, plucking up all the courage in him and with a determined look on his face, he climbed up the tree steadily but surely. Beads of sweat rolled down the owner’s foreheads, was it too late to save their cat?

Finally, John climbed down the tree with the cat safely in his arms. They all heaved a sigh of relief. They thanked John profusely, hugged their kitten tightly and rushed of to the vet. When he went home and recounted the day’s events to his mother, tears of joy rolled down the ecstatic mother as she hugged him. He had done her proud.

Later that day, John got a phone call, it was the couple. They told him that their cat had indeed been saved. John was elated that his efforts had not gone to waste. They thanked him more and even offered him a generous sum of money for saving their cat. John shyly turned them down because to him, the reward is knowing he had done a good deed.

The next day, to his enormous surprise, he was featured in the Newspaper. Later, he found out that a reporter was nearby and saw everything had happened. From this moment on, John knew that no good deed goes unrewarded.



Now, that was written by my sister. Pretty good for a p6 dont you think?

Oh, & something for all to read.

Hi. I found this quite meaningful, so something for yall to read.


When I came to Cleveland and joined The Orchestra, I was eighteen years old,
and I thought I was a finished product. Now I had arrived. All the hard work
was behind me.

You know how it is at ten when you think you'll never get beyond the first
position, at thirteen when you can't cope with ten minutes practicing
before school and two hours after it,­ at sixteen when you're working 25
hours a day for the big competition,­ and then, for me, at eighteen. It was
all over. Finished. I had A Job.

And how little I know! It was only the bare beginning. It is so easy in
music to forget that we are doing something we love. Sometimes it's easy to
forget that we even love it as deeply as we do. It's so difficult when
you're young that, with as much passion as you have, it seems impossible to
imagine ever playing well enough. It's so difficult as you get older to
realize that this feeling will never go away.

I am fifty now. The young students I played with at summer string camp are
fathers and grandfathers. And I am still touched and amazed when playing
with distinguished colleagues of my own age to realize that, as well as
they may cover it up, they shake with stage fright before walking out, and
sometimes even in performance. The doubts, the insecurities, the anger at
the space between the dream and the achievement: these never go away.

There is never a moment in music when you can say, "This is it. Now I have
arrived." It is a journey with many stops. There are frustrating pauses,
whirlwind acceleration, and sometimes, just a sense of having got
seriously lost.

I see now how ironic it was for me that only a year after I got to Cleveland
with the feeling that I could now sit back and enjoy things.­ that I had the
worst time of my whole musical career. It seemed to my old colleagues -
many of whom were still in music school then - that I had it made. I had a
regular salary (enough to keep a man and family, after all) and I with
only myself to take care of. I had concerts all over the world with one of
the greatest orchestras of all time,. who, from the outside, could possibly
have guessed the desolation and emptiness that I felt. Was it all for this?
Was this the magic? Here I was on the third stand, never heard and never
noticed. I felt invisible - it began to feel like a boring, terrible, slow
death. Forty years of this, how was I to endure it?

The problem was, of course, the total lack of a good, true education. In
those early days, I never listened to my colleagues. I just stared at the
page and played along with everyone else. One of the herd. Then one day,
George Szell, clearly frustrated beyond belief at my donkey-like
sleepwalking, told me to stay back during the intermission of a rehearsal.
He grabbed my right arm and started to play as I should play out. It was a
terrible, terrible noise, but the passion was there again, the commitment.
He was furious with me. He barked at me: "You don't contribute. You don't
know anything. You're not prepared. You just float along down the stream.
You never know how the music goes." It was a tirade - and it amazed me. It
had simply never entered my self-pitying state that this could all be my
fault. That if I was bored, it was because I wasn't trying hard enough.
Music isn't boring; people are.

So he told me about studying the score, about practicing music not just
technique; about learning to hear the rest of the music... to study
beforehand the architecture of a piece, the lines weaving through it in all
the individual instruments. Above all, he dared me to have pride again in my
playing. It wasn't to be the old pride - narcissistically and aimlessly
self-delighting in the trivia of instrumental playing. But to get immersed
into the whole psyche and personality of a composer. He taught me respect
for the creative force behind a great piece of music. He taught me respect
for my fellow musicians: bullied and scorned by him, I was forced to open up
and listen to the great musicians who surrounded me. I was over-awed by a
horn sound that my wretched cello could never match; a clarinet legato that
defined the word for me at last; the silvery shimmer of beautiful flute
playing. George Szell opened my ears to the musical inventiveness of fine
oboe playing. He taught me humility and, through it, he brought me joy.

It's so interesting for me to look back. When I was made principal cello of
The Cleveland Orchestra, I was probably the same age as most of you. Many of
my friends then, I still see and play with. Or, actually, not too many.
That's the rub.

When I went into the orchestra, most of my old Juilliard and Curtis
classmates wrote me off as solo material. That was me out of the fray, out
of the running, for a lifetime. There were big talents, big stars-to-be,­
and I was no longer counted among them. Or, perhaps, never was. And I would
have put my money on other cellists than I for a solo career, quite frankly.
There are people I can still see in my mind's eye who seemed incandescent:
tall, good looks, flashing fingers; the right mentors; competition winners;
stunning self-confidence. And most of them - if not all of them, actually
- you wouldn't have even heard of. I had no idea at twenty-one what a
long, long journey it is.

The key is simple: You just have to keep going. It isn't a competition;
it's only about yourself, about one practice day after another, about
keeping going, and above all, forcing yourself to understand that you never
understand it all. The English have a term which I have just discovered.
It's called DINTISM. "How did he get that job?" I asked about a
colleague. "Oh, dintism," came the answer. Dintism? It is (it was
explained to me) by sheer dint of doing it. Of doing it, with all good
will and effort day after day, year after year. Of not giving up.

I'm often asked whether or not I get bored of carrying the Dvorak Concerto
around the world. Bored? They must be joking. I, who thought I knew
everything I needed to know about the Dvorak Concerto when I was twenty, am
still discovering new things every single time I play it. I hear someone
else play it and that goes for my students too, and in their
interpretation, I'll hear a phrase, a note, an unfamiliar turn of musical
gesture, and there will be a new discovery for me.

I'll never forget my encounters with Marcel Moyse, the legendary French
flutist, at the Marlboro Festival. In his eighties, he kept tripping over
his words in his passion, his eagerness to tell you of a piece of music. As
much toil and work as music demands - it is also our brush with
immortality. I heard Pablo Casals play when he was so old that his fingers
and technique could hardly be recognized as good cello playing - and yet,
it was the most moving and dynamically powerful music-making you can
imagine, so alive was the soul, so strong the belief in the music.

What, you may ask, has all this to do with you who are just about to go into
the world? Well, I am here as a scout. I am here to report back on what it
looks like down the road. And I can tell you that the journey at the
beginning, and the journey to the end are no different - music is one and
the same journey, and it always continues.

I meet young musicians in their early twenties who are already turned off;
they're bored; they're cynical. "It's all politics," they'll say. But
I met them thirty years ago, too, like that - and those are the talents who
disappeared. Only the music remained, and those who in delighting in the
music; in never failing to find refreshment in it; who rejoice in their
gift,­ those are the musicians who have lasted, whose way has been lit by
this special lantern of our art.

It's hard to remember that now, perhaps. Most students I know graduate with
the full weight of student loans on their shoulders, cars in need of new
transmissions and gearboxes, rent that's due, freelance jobs far and few
between.­

But I came here today to say, "Keep going." Magical things have happened
to me. Magical things have happened to many of us, and we're all
surprised. I have colleagues who are much older than I who teach at The
Royal Academy of Music in London, and I feel the bond of being in this
amazing and magical circle together. They don't have the international
chances that I do - but the music, and the delight in it, is the same.

Franz Schubert is dead, but his music is alive. It almost breaks my heart
that I never knew him. But what truly breaks my heart are the musicians I
meet on my path who are alive - but somehow dead.

Go out and join the living.

Joy and good fortune to you all.

AH bloody hell. my post so screwed up.

Heartache.

Hey! I'm back again. sorry for the long period of time betw my last post and this one. Dammit so much school work.

So lets see. How many weeks have passed? 2/3 weeks? Alot has happened since Christmas. More good times than bad, thank god.

Things that happened:

1. School started. - HELL BROKE LOOSE in my life. The workload is OMGWTFDIE. However, I'm trying my best best best to cope with it. So I hope it works out. However, I can't seem to get it into my head that I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR THAT DARN CHEM TEST NOW INSTEAD OF POSTING. The total idea of chem totally repels me from all the notes and TYS and whatever. UGGHHHH.

2. I went for PhilYouth Auditions! - & wow. Totally screwed up man. Screwed until cannot screw more. But WTH i still got in. I LOVE MISS LEONG! ♥

3. I got a new phone! - Its a Nokia 7390. White & pink! This is the black and brown one. But mine's loads nicer (:

4. 17th Jan was Max's & Ccs's Birthday! - Spent another boring and loooong wednesday at school. Then I went over to Max's place after he was done with band. Brought along Takopachi and 2 Fondants from taka! Hope it made him happy. Went with Max's mother & brother to Sushi Teh to have dinner. :D It was YUM. Oh oh and since his dad couldn't make it, I went over the next day too and they brought me to Lawry's for dinner. Trust me, I haven't eaten anything so expensive in my LIFE. But it was DAMN cool.

5. Guitar Hero 2 came into my life! - and now all this time, I'm SO obsessed about rock songs, esp the ones from GH2. & from GH2 i found a new favourite song! BEAST & THE HARLOT - AVENGED SEVENFOLD!

Haha & now, some random things. Like pictures of Max's noticeboard & the weird stuff i drew

there :

<--DOIS drew this! I thought it was cute. & poor keith.

<--- pure vandalism. & isnt the cheese cute!

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Okaaay! Thats all for today. When i get more pics I'll post them! :D