monday

I HATE SC. ppl here are so bitchy. esp 3 certaing ppl, no 4 actually. i am so changing school next year. i have a feeling no one's gonna miss me. but do I care? NO. why the effing hell wld they care anw? 2GY. hmmm. screwed class. 1SE. rocks. but other than that, SC sucks. i mean like in band, it's not like VERY bad and stuff, but i feel i can't learn anything. then i get very super pissed at myself. and yea.. blah blah things start to happen. like my friend in montfort is so super much much much better than me. cause he's close to his seniors. and they actually HELP him. and like they give him scores and stuff. he's nice. and pro at playing the clarinet. unlike me. SO unlike me. oh well. life is never fair. so i'm gonna work hard this yr, and maybe go to TJC or something. if i stay in SC one more year, i think i'm gonna commit suicide.

saturday

hohoho.

my sis just said the swear word. she's gonna die. TOO BAD.

oh well. lol.

y'know, i'm feeling very very bad now. bleahh.

hey, i'm really really sorry k.i just don't think we're meant to be together and stuff, though you're like really really nice. i'm scared to face you now. after one week, i feel like i'd just die of embarrassment. Oh yea, i still haven't done that passage that we're supposed to choose frm the bible. hoho. too bad. i'll just flip to one page and crap something up i guess. hope you did it. doubt so though. bleahh.

right. i did super badly for science. i don't dare to show my mum. she'll cut off my head. damn. how did liney get so high?!? 32, like HELLO?? i got like 10 marks less than that. so damn bloody crappy.

ooooh!! y'know angela, aud, tiff and amelia came to my house for OM today.. hahaha. so cool. we got really distracted and Amelia got irritated. hoho. =)

aah wells. today's blog post has been super wu liao. i shan't say no more.

xoxo-marissa

Happy Val'z Day =)

bleahhh. i still love you. why today? couldn't it just be ytd? or are you just trying to make my valentines day more memorable than it already is? no hard feelings, but i just can't help feeling sad. i miss you lots. i'm not gonna cry, because i'm strong inside. i just wish you were there. but i understand. you're like the sweetest guy ever. i just hope you and rachelle get back together again. =) yeah so like, good luck. if you ever need anything, i'm still here.

okay.. cannot stand it anymore. feelings taking over. bleahh. -screams- maroon 5 on TV! ahhhh. lol. the grammy's rockk. haha. i'm feeling so heartless now.. ehhh. heartless? i mean heartbroken. haha. well, heartless too. but you don't need to know why. this is stupid.. i'm getting more and more sad each time i think abt it. for all you know i might just cry myself to sleep. haha. no i'm just joking. lol. ohkay. i have to do my literature now. but for the last time...

i love you.

it doesn't mean anything now. there's nothing i can do.

xoxo-marissa

HEYY.
I'M ANGRY TODAY
ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED.
BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY
WHICH WAS SO DAMN SCREWED.
I SCREWED UP IN BAND
YESTERDAY
LOTS OF TIMES.
I FEEL RIDICULOUSLY FOOLISH NOW.
AND STUPID TOO.
WHY?
BECAUSE I HAD TO BE
STUPID
AND
DUMB
THE WHOLE OF YESTERDAY.
EXCEPT IN THE NIGHT
WHERE I WAS NOT SO RIDICULOUSLY
STUPID
AND
DUMB.
SO NOW,
I'M
STUPIDLY
AND
DUMBLY
VENTING MY ANGER AND FRUSTRATION HERE.
IN A
STUPID
AND
DUMB WAY,
LIKE ALL
STUPID
AND
DUMB
PEOPLE DO >.<
AND I NEARLY CHOKED ON WATER
THREE TIMES
IN THE PAST 15 MINUTES.
I MUST BE FATED.
AND THERE I GO,
DRINKING WATER AGAIN.
YOU WOULD THINK I'D HAVE LEARNT MY LESSON BY NOW,
BUT WEIRDLY,
I HAVE NOT.
SO NOW,
I'M ANGRY, FRUSTRATED AND WEIRD.
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY STUPID AND DUMB LIFE,
DON'T YOU THINK?
DON'T TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW.
WHEN I'M VENTING MY ANGER
AND YOU TALK TO ME
I'D NOT TREAT YOU IN A VERY NICE WAY,
LIKE I USUALLY DO. *COUGH*
I WANT THE EARTH TO OPEN UP AND SWALLOW ME.
BUT NOT THE EARTH UNDER THE OCEAN.
NO MORE TSUNAMIS PLEASE.
I THINK THE WORLD HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THOSE FOR THE REST OF IT'S LIFETIME.
WAIT A SECOND.
WHAT DO I CARE ANYWAY?
I HATE MYSELF.
BUT I LOVE
MY FAMILY - WHO'S BEEN BY MY SIDE SINCE I CAME INTO THIS WORLD( EXCEPT MY SISTER, WHO'S BEEN BY MY SIDE 4 YEARS AFTER I CAME INTO THIS WORLD.)
MY FRIENDS - WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME IN TIMES LIKE THIS, AND HAVE SHARED HAPPY TIMES WITH ME, FOR WHICH I WILL ALWAYS TREASURE.
MY ENEMIES - WHO DESERVE TO BE LOVED. FOR ALL I KNOW, THEY HATE ME. BUT I WILL NOT HATE THEM BACK, FOR THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEM LIKE ME MORE, DOES IT?
NATURE - WHICH HAS CALMED ME DOWN WITH IT'S BEAUTIFUL ARCHITECTURE.
AND LASTLY,
GOD - THE CREATOR OF ALL THINGS. WHO HAS CREATED EVERYTHING THAT I LOVE ON EARTH: MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS, MY ENEMIES, AND MOST OF ALL, NATURE. I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THESE THINGS, AND MORE.
LOOK.
I'M NOT ANGRY ANYMORE.
I APPRECIATE THINGS AROUND ME.
I DO NOT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED.
I LOVE YOU.

xoxo-marissa

Wednesday

`heyya! lol. today's been quite crappy, seeing that i just found out i screwed my math test.. >.<" lol.. tuition yesterday was sooo slack. teacher was damn blur. ahahaa. aah wells. lol. i have no reason to be happy today, and yet I am.. so weird, don't you think? -shrugs- dunno what's come over me today..

hehh. man u won yesterday. ( why am i saying 'heh'? i'm utterly disgusted w/ myself. ahahaaa.) nvm. arsenal will win EPL again next year..and Man Utd will not yah? =) hahaaa.

yay ms wee extended our lit essay deadline to friday. so nice right? hahaa. I pity the SE ppl.. haha. okayy.. i gtg write ppl testimonials now.. haha. ppl who want me to link them pls tell me.. or er.. remind me to change your link..or something. hahh.

xoxo-marissa

ehh. today screwed all my tests mann. hha. but then right next week no tests =). ahaa. in library now.. er.. amelia's sitting next to me being a guai kia and doing her hw.. lol. unlike me. i'm crapping here =X. Yamaha is stupid. went there yesterday.. wasted all my time.. everything no stock!! lol. but i signed up for the yamaha card thing..