I feel like crying now.
Sometimes, I just feel like letting it all out.
Letting the tears flow, like a river of sadness, all the way out into the vast expanse of sea, where they mingle with other drops of tears. Only then, will I know, that I am not alone.
Sometimes, talking and sharing my problems just makes me feel worse.
I wouldn't want to burden you with my problems.
I just need someone I can trust to be beside me. Just to keep me company, and listen to my silent complaints.
I guess no one really cares what I write in here, since anyone barely reads it anymore.

screwed.

oh man. i miss him loads. and its only wednesday. ahhhhh! nvm. gonna see him tomorrow. jia you, marissa, jia you.

I haven't blogged for a really long time....i dunno... not really in the mood i guess. and i'm even more not in the mood now.I just miss him a whole lot. :(

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

love makes the world go round and round and round and round ((:


okay. that was random.Well, I haven't really blogged these few days because I have nothing to blog about. It hasn't really been a interesting three or four days for me. I think the one thing I remember most from these three to four days would be... um... - i can't think of anything >.< - practically nothing. Because, nothing profound has actually happened. And guess what! It's two days to saturday, and one a few hours to tomorrow! Besides the horrible inevitable fact that there's art tomorrow, WE HAVE BAND! Woo hoo! (uh oh... i'm learning from Kerwin. hmms. i shall not say woo hoo, or boo hoo for that matter, anymore. so there.)

Well, went to church today for Ascension mass and saw Rachel, and that eccentric guy whom I used to see in the 317 bus all the time in primary school. CREEPY. Oh, and Louisa sang the responsorial psalm! Now I have reason to tease her on Sunday, if she's even coming for Cat. Class. Speaking of church, while I was taking this bus to Tampines in the afternoon after school, I saw this guy from my Cat. Class last year, but I kinda forgot his name. Daniel, was it? No clue. So I kinda decided to me dao and not say hi. After all, he was kinda far away from me. You wouldn't expect me to shout "hi!" to this guy whom I don't even know the name of... It would just be plain weird. AND spastic, not forgetting. He probably couldn't remember my name either, seeing as I hardly said more than ten words each cat class last year. Kinda pathetic, I know, but I hardly knew anyone there. And the teacher... THE TEACHER WAS KILLING ME. He was so damn boring. =X. Not saying anything more.


In my opinion, American Idol is not worth watching anymore. Because crowd favourite(and mine, too) Constantine is out. However, I think all the remaining five finalists deserve to be where they are now. (except maybe Anthony Federov) I think Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice are gonna be Top 2. Carrie is chio. Haha. My sister wanted to say that Carrie looked like a Barbie doll, and ended up saying she looked like Bubblegumm. wahahaha. Okay I'm waiting to see who would be the next one out of AI. It's taking a long time... Oh well. I shall go do stuff now. ((:


Updates in LOVELIST:

• Friendship Week.

xoxo-marissa

DEATH

Omg. I am so friggin' pissed. And you know what the best part of it is? I have totally no idea what I'm pissed about. ARGH. fuck. Life, is so totally damn fucking screwed right now. Man, if my bf wasn't there to support me, I'd totally run out into the middle of a thunderstorm and pray like mad that I'd be struck by lightning. I'm like so stressed right now.


History Project (1st Sept to 10th Sept)
Chinese Project (Due:3rd May)
Geog Test (omg the fucking articles!!!>.<) Musical Analysis (Due:next music lesson) Math file (damn KB >.<)

CA MARKS
Eng - 68.7/100 B3
[i think. i'm not really sure.. but i know i's 68.something.]
Math - 69.5/100 B3
[omg that damn half a mark >.<] Chinese - 51.1/100 C6 [argh. screw chinese] Science - 71.6/100 A2 [why must denise get higher than me.. WHY?!?] Literature - 64/100 B4 [okay. dunno what happened to lit. and don't care either.] History - 70/100 A2 [just scraped by with a surprise A2.] Geography - 73.3/100 A2 [I could have done so much better...]

My parents are so totally gonna kill me for that C6 in chinese. >.<> Yes I think I better get to work on those projects now. I'm totally collapsing under the stress.
Oh yes. And thanks to my bf for condoning my damn mood swings. Yea, you're always there for me. I'm grateful for that. <3

UPDATES IN LOVELIST:

• Camilla
• Denise

xoxo-marissa
I'll love you forever, always.

-Jesus's Resume-

The Resume of Jesus Christ


Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible
Keywords: Jesus Christ, Lord & Savior


My name is Jesus - The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.


Qualifications:

I founded the earth and established the heavens (see Proverbs 3:19).

I formed man from the dust of the ground (see Genesis 2:7).

I breathed into man the breath of life (see Genesis 2:7).

I redeemed man from the curse of the law (see Galatians 3:13).

The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me (see Galatians 3:14).

Occupational Background:

I've only had one employer (see Luke 2:49).

I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.

My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me (see Matthew 3:15-17).

Skills & Work Experiences:

Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised (see Luke 4:18).

I am a Wonderful Counselor (see Isaiah 9:6). People who Listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil (see Proverbs 1:33).

Most importantly, I have the authority, ability & power to cleanse you of your sins (see I John 1:7-9)

Educational Background:

I encompass the entire breadth & length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding (see Proverbs 2:6).

In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (see Colossians 2:3).

My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path (see Psalms 119:105).

I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart (see Psalms 44:21).

Major Accomplishments:

I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times (see Genesis 1:26).

I laid down my life so that you may live (see II Corinthians 5:15).

I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind & made a show of them openly (see Colossians 2:15).

I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!

There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.

References:

Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance.

In Summation:

Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths (see Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life (see John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence (see Hebrews 3:15).

Wheeee.

www.livejournal.com/~lovelisting
Look! I have this wonderful new LJ.
It lists 10 reasons why I love the ppl I love ((:
New updates:-

• Suzy
• Amelia
• Him (:

Wheee! they rock my world! New updates coming tmr. I'm going to sleep now. It's so late alr.

sigh.

I miss him. I miss him so much...

LOVES. (:

wheeee.


www.livejournal.com/~marheartssuzy
ten reasons why i love suzy (:


www.livejournal.com/~suzyheartsmar
ten reasons why she loves me! (:


wahahahahs. spasticated.

UNDERSTANDING.

heyheyys.
DARNIT. my mum won't let me take bass lessons. and she says I have to buy my own guitar. what the hell. I don't care. I'm saving up for it. So from this day forth, I'm not buying anything. I'm saving EVERY SINGLE CENT I CAN. darn. I find my mum quite unreasonable sometimes. But oh well, she's who she is for a reason. ARGH I CAN'T STAND IT! It sucks! =X
Yea, met Kerwin & Brendon yesterday. Carine was shy >.<>.< I mean, all I did until 8pm was play RS! I might as well have stayed at PS right? sheesh. I bet they thought we were like so dao or something. Wait a sec, Brendon alr thinks I'm dao! He said so! hahas.
I got really frustrated last night because of the two Eng essays... >.< Slept at one again... so damn pissed. argh. =X
lalalalas. like whatever ((:
Had TOK just now...
EH Ann and Abby want to use the comp. So I shall let them (: kk...
xoxo-mar

bleahh...

screw it mann. i still have tuition later. OOPS. i haven't done my hw. ehh. i'll blog when i get back.

xoxo-marissa
I'll love you forever, always.

Ladeeedumm.

RANDOM of the day : Strawberry jam is nice!^^


Hahas. I'm happy today (: Why?
Cause ;nac*(codenamed. yupp.) gave me a letter Lol.
It makes me happy reading it. Haha. Cause it's lame. :P
Oh man i feel like writing a letter now.

Ew ew eeeeeeeeeeew. We have TURTLE SOUP for dinner. How barbaric. Apparently my uncle gave it to us. And I just found out. We have oxtail soup too. Eeeew. How much soup do I have to consume?! I think I'll just go and cook maggi mee or something. yumm.


xoxo-marissa
I'll love you forever, always.

You know you're chinese whenn...

You noe you're chinese when...


[ ]You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.(errrr....)
[ ]You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
[ ]When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
[ ]You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
[ ]You eat all meals in the kitchen.
[x]You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
[x]You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
[x]You always leave your shoes at the door.
[x]You have a piano in your living room.
[x]You twirl your pen around your fingers.
[ ]Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
[ ]You don't own any real Tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
[ ]You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
[x]You've eaten a red bean Popsicle.(What's wrong with that. They're nice okay!)
[x]You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.(only during CNY)
[x]You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
[ ]The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
[ ]Ditto for paper napkins.
[ ]You never order room service.
[ ]You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
[x]These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
[ ]Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
[x]Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
[ ]You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.( I'm hoping to. lol.)
[x]When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
[ ]You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
[x]You don't use measuring cups.
[ ]You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
[ ]You beat eggs with chopsticks.(i use a fork. lol.)
[ ]Your parents' house is always cold.
[ ]You have a teacup with a cover on it.
[ ]You reuse teabags.
[ ]Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.( one, my mum doesn't drive. two, we don't have a mercedes.)
[ ]You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
[ ]You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
[ ]You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
[ ]You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh.
[ ]You never call your parents just to say hi.
[x]You always cook too much.
[ ]If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten rice, even if it's midnight.
[x]Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air.
[ ]Your parents never go to the movies.
[x]You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl.
[x]You don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
[ ]You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
[x]Your parents are never happy with your grades.
[x]You keep most of your money in a savings account.
[x]Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
[x]You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
[ ]You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
[ ]Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
[ ]You love to go to $1.75 movies.
[ ]You love to go to $1.50 movies even more.(HELLOOO. what world do you exist in. this kind of movies barely exist anymore.)
[ ]You never order sweet-n-sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a Chinese restaurant.
[x]Someone in your family drives a Honda...
[ ]You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging from your rear-view mirror.
[ ]You like to eat chicken feet.
[ ]You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
[ ]You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer.
[ ]You look like you are eighteen.
[x]You have more than five remotes in your house.( I think i have twelve)
[ ]You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more.
[x]You can't bear to throw things away.
[ ]Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all.
[ ]Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
[ ]You've worn glasses at least since the fifth grade.
[ ]You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.
[x]You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate.(diluted orange concentrate rocks!!)
[ ]You've never seen your parents hug.
[x]Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
[x]You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently.
[ ]You have to read all your parents' mail written in English.
[ ]You are constantly being set up with uninteresting (and usually ugly) people by your parents.
[ ]Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants.
[ ]White people look at you strangely if you tell them you are Buddhist.
[x]You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
[ ]You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.(er.. i'm the eldest and I never get new clothes anyway! what makes you think the second child will get more?)
[ ]Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
[ ] You have two middle initials instead of one.
[ ]You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.
[x]Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.
[x]You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time.(er... she lives in the same house as us.)
[ ]You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.
[x]You cut your own hair or had someone in your family do it.
[ ]Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth, especially in front.
[x]You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.
[ ]You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means.
[ ]You know at least three people named Alan Wong.
[ ]Your dad owns at least one bird.(what the... what have birds got to do with this...)


Sheesh. That was really lame.

Movie Review. Well, sort of.

( )Napoleon Dynamite
( )Saw
( )White Noise
( )Anger Managment
( )50 First Dates
( )Jason X
( )Scream
( )Scream 2
( )Scream 3
( )Scary Movie
( )Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
( )American Pie
( )American Pie 2
( )American Wedding
(x)Harry Potter
(x)Harry Potter 2
(x)Harry Potter 3
(x)The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book
( )The Village
( )Donnie Darko
( )Lilo & Stitch
(x)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
( )13 Ghosts
( )Signs
( )The Grudge
( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x)White Chicks
( )Butterfly Effect
( )Thirteen
( )I, Robot
( )Dodgeball
( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
( )KingPin
( )Never Been Kissed
( )Meet The Parents
( )Meet The Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
(x)A Cinderella Story
( )The Terminal
(x)The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x)passport to paris
(x)Dumb & Dumber
(x)Dumb & Dumberer
( )Final Destination
( )Final Destination 2
( )Halloween
(x)The Ring
( )Practical Magic
( )Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
( )Hellboy
( )Secret Window
(x)I Am Sam
( )The Whole Nine Yards
( )The Day After Tomorrow
( )Child's Play
( )Bride of Chucky
( )Ten Things I Hate About You
( )Just Married
( )Gothika
( )A Nightmare on Elm Street
( )Sixteen Candles
( )Joy Ride
( )Seven
( )Identity
( )Lone Star
( )Cujo
( )A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine
( )IT
( )Children of the Corn
(x)Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
( )How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( )She's All That
( )Calender Girls
( )Sideways
( )Ever After
( )Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(x)Jeepers Creepers
(x)Jeepers Creepers 2
( )Catch Me If You Can
( )The Others
( )Freaky Friday
( )Reign of Fire
( )Cruel Intentions
( )The Hot Chick
( )Swimfan
( )Miracle
( )Old School
( )Ray
(x)The Notebook
( )K-Pax
(x)Lord of the Rings
(x)Lord of the Rings 2
(x)Lord of the Rings 3
(x)A Walk to Remember
( )Boogeyman
( )Hitch
( )Back Door Sluts 9
( )The Fifth Element
( )Slums Of Beverly Hills
( )Big Fish
( )The Brave Little Toaster
( )Alice In Wonderland
( )Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
( ) Vertigo
( )Almost Famous
( )The Graduate
( )A Streetcar Named Desire
( ) Rigoletto
( )Sleepaway Camp
( ) Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
(x)Ocean's Eleven
(x)Ocean's Twelve
( )Phantom of the Opera
( )Chasing Liberty
( )SLC Punk!
(x)Drumline
( )Velvet Goldmine
( )Saved!
( )Fight Club
( )The Incredibles
( )A Guy Thing

lol. pathetic. i've never even heard of some of the movies here. bleahh.

Wheeee.

Okay Suzy. Don't say anything about my last post. There is NOTHING to say. You know it, I know it. Yay-ness. I have decided to incorperate caps into my posts, but there's this one little flaw: whether I actually will remember to put them after this post. Nothing I can do about it right now, except read this post before writing every entry, which if sufficiently lame for me not to describe.


I don't really have much to write here, since nothing remotely interesting's happened. Yea. Ooh. I'm looking forward to church tomorrow. Three guesses why. (: Haha. I guess you don't need three, for those of you who know me well enough.


xoxo-marissa
I'll love you forever, always.

I miss you.

I never realised
I could miss you this much.


I have no idea what's going on with me lately.
I feel so alone in this world,
not having you beside me.
It's like there are so many different paths stretched out before me.
I don't know which way to turn,
which direction to go.
so lost without you.


okayy. I really need someone to talk to right now, preferably someone who knows me in and out, thanks. But really, anyone would do. (:


xoxo-marissa
I'll love you forever, always.

To Whoever It May Concern

Why

I can tell you my deepest secrets;
knowing that you'll keep them safe.
With you, I'm not afraid to be myself.
I can say something stupid,
and you'll be there to laugh along with me, not at me.
You believe in my dreams,
however silly they may seem,
just as i believe in yours.
There was never a need to do something special,
We'd have fun anyway.
You've seen through my imperfections;
and accepted me for who I am.
Just by looking at me,
you'd know how I was feeling,
Even though I try my best to hide my emotions.


You know me better than I even know myself.


Whenever I went through times of trouble, times of need;
you'd be there for me.
Whenever I was in danger;
you'd be there to protect me, to keep me safe from harm.
Whenever I needed a listening ear, someone I could trust;
you'd always be there, waiting for me to pour out my sorrows.
Whenever I cried;
you'd be there to wipe away my tears, to tell me everything was gonna be alright.


I owe it all to you for this,
for sharing the laughter and the tears;
the joy and the pain;
for being there when I needed you most.


The times we spent together;
they've become memories,
ones that I'll never forget.


Remember;
Whatever happens,
even if things take a turn for the worst,
you will always have that special place in my heart.


xoxo-marissa
i'll love you forever, always.

Everything is gonna be alright; be strong, BELIEVE.

hihi ^^
i changed my blogskin. haha. it's SO pink now. ew. i wish it was lime-green. but no choice. i liked the design.. lol.
wheeeeee. We had NAPFA today. I am very very super happy with how I did. I didn't get D for anything!!! OMG! lol.

Standing Broad:179cm
Sit Ups: 45 (I beat Max! YAY! lol sorry..)
Sit & Reach: 38cm (lol.. gotta C for this. but i've always sucked at it anyway.)
Inclined: 28
2.4: 15.38min
Shuttle Run: 11.6s (Damn coulda done lots better. Started slow on second chance>.< Kee was making me nervous lol. but i shouldn't be making excuses.)

hehh. yepps. spent lots of time today talking about our band.. too excited le. (: haha. i'm bassist. and everyone's waiting for me to learn so we can start jamming lol. so anyone wanna lend bass guitar? lol.

Vocal: Carine
Drums: Kerwin
Rhythm: Brendon
Bass: Me (:
Keyboard: Tessa

hahas. kk i go play runescape le. Felicia waiting for me. lol.

xoxo-marissa

Wednesday

heyy peeps. I'm gonna change my blogskin again. But i just realise i need more colour. this one is so dull. haha. yupps. but i like the notes. (: lol.

kk today we went to watch the debate Y14s.. we won against NYGH! hahah. Susannah was pro man.. haha. wells anyway. My mood got from so 'high' to so 'low' today. y'know that at the start of the day everyone was so sian. and i was sleepy. hah. yea so the day didn't really start off on a high note. But anyway I did the living will thing with Carine, Amelia and Denise. I got so high cause i was really excited about the debate, and i realised that the AMD had to do with euthanasia, which was really cool, since the debate motion was THW legalise voluntary euthanasia. yupps. then Denise changed the topic to music, and carine said she wanted to start a band, so i was like, hey! why don't we start a band together! You should have seen how excited I was lol. I would have started jumping if it weren't for the space constraint. Yea so now Tessa's keyboardist. haha.. we need a drummer & and one more guitarist, so i'm asking all my friends now. Yea, so I can't possibly be keyboardist for keef's band, Colleen. sorry... yupps. Oh yes! I'm doing pathology for my career choice. I think it's damn cool!!! haha.

You don't appreciate me at all. I was just trying to help damnit. You tell me that RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE, when you know I was just trying to help. YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT I TOLD HER. So can you actually BOTHER to ask what I told her before saying something you know is SO UNTRUE right in front of my face??!! I don't even know why I bothered trying to help you. It's obvious that it didn't come to anything. Like i should stop talking to you altogether. omg. i can't stand it anymore. SUZY IS SO RIGHT. for once. =P.

And yes, we have a new pope. Benedict XVI.

xoxo-marissa

GOLD!! Friday

We got gold!!

wahaha i can't believe it. It doesn't seem real. lol. SC BAND ROCKS!! We're finally a gold band after months of hard work! Yesterday was the best day ever! I was so damn happy. When we heard the results everyone started screaming and jumping and crying because we were just so happy. lol. Cat High got gold w/ honors. Good for them. wahaha (: We played abrams and rhapsody in the bus on the way back to school.. lol. only woodwinds and ONE trumpet, which was weiting. lol. It sounded good.(: I wish there was band prac today. It would have been so fun. I would NEVER dread going band prac. Cause you know why? SC BAND ROCKS TO THE CORE!! omg omg omg i still can't believe it. haha. i miss my clarinet. I'm gonna borrow my clarinet home today to practise. yay (: oh yea i haven't bought my music books yet lol. i shall go and buy today aft sch then go home and practice. yay so fun. maybe i will get my friend to play together with me. wahahah.

`omg you know we changed places today. I jumped from one side of the class to the other, and I'M STILL IN THE FRONT ROW. what the hell. sighh. i miss amelia & estelle. Sitting next to Joey & Liesel now. The AHEM(Amelia-HuanTing-Estelle-Marissa) row is gone forever. NOOOOOO. wahaha. kk lol. i have to go now. wheeee. bye. i'm going to tag the SC BAND website again (: www.scgsband.cjb.net

P.S. MAX!! I photocopied for you alr k. see i'm so nice. wahaha. just joking. give you er... on sunday k? (: Cya.

xoxo-marissa

Wednesday

omg omg omg. SYF is tmr. and i'm sick. AHHHHHHH.
lol.. 2 weeks just flew merrily past and i didn't even notice. Oh well... I'm sure we have the potential to get Gold for SYF. We can do it! YAY! lol. sorry i'm being kinda retarded at the moment.. I think the aircon in the library is affecting my brain and affectiny my fingers' ability to type fast. They're all numb now. ARGH. okaay. the week so far.. has had ONE good thing.. the rest has been total crap. like getting back all sorts of results. And realising that I got a bloody B for math. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! Half a mark more and I would have gotten an A. Dammit. Imagine if i did any worse for my pledge, I would have just stop breathing there and then. Ok let me tell you what the good thing was then, since i think you'd hate me if i went on any more about my rotten results (Hey! Alliteration!) KK. I SACRIFICED my geog and science test results to go to the RJC concert on Monday. (yes i know i shoulda stayed home to study.. but.. couldn't resist. lol.) Wheee. And I'm glad I went. haha. My.. AHEM... friend went with me. Don't get the wrong idea. lol. whatever you're thinking. haha.. then Grace was sitting 2 rows in front of me. Wonder if she noticed me.. NAH. Who would notice a person like me anyway.. Haha.. i saw Eunice and Peace there too!

Thursday

Yes, I should be doing my hw, I know. But, kinda taking a break. Break from what, I wonder.I haven't really done anything so far. So I was just thinking, should I change my blogskin again? I'm apparently not contented with this one. Though I think the strawberries in the pic look good enough to eat! Tell me if that's not true.
Well anyway, these few days have been one of the most[ummm...] hectic? [Is that the word?]It's just that I think the stress of the past few weeks have started taking it's toll, and I think the late nights are not really paying off either, since I'm still doing so badly in all my CTs. I'm trying to do something about it, but as you can see, I'm not really [self-]disciplined enough. Otherwise, I wouldn't be BLOGGING in the first place. I think I need tuition for practically every subject. My grades have been slipping, and the best thing is, it's only April! I wonder what would happen if I carried on like this until the end of the year. It would probably be suicide.
I'm really excited about this Sunday though.
[10 Apr.]
`))Church - Entrance Ritual [DO NOT ASK ME WHAT IT IS ABOUT. I have no idea myself. =X]
-Catechism (: [hooooray. hah.]
`))Taekwondo Grading - brown2 [i can't believe it. I'm finally catching up with my sister. I hope she'll stall for another 3 months after this grading. Then I will be able to take brown1 exam BEFORE her and become junior black belt first! WAHAHAH. I doubt that will happen, because chief will ask me to teach her her pattern. And SHE is the one who knows the pattern. She's brown1 already, just that she's not going for this grading. HAH. She has been stalling at brown1 for half a year already. Let's hope she stays there. X) I'm so evil.]
`)) ShuFang's Birthday! [Happy birthday!]

xoxo-mar

Thursday

`Hello!!

`haha. sorry. i may seem a little crazy right now, but i'm just really really really happy and really really really excited. yepp.

`What I'm excited/happy about:
1)No more chinese tuition! NO MORE CHINESE TUITION!!!!!!!haha sorry. I'm just so happy.
2)I have someone to go with me to RJC concert!! haha.
3)There is no history test next week!
4)There is no school tmr, just sports day! haha. I can go home and practise my clarinet all i want! (:

`haha i feel so retarded. But i just can't help it.lol.

Sunday2

Forgive my last post. I just HAD to post that. some people were irritating me too much. Oh well. Just came back to wish those people having lit and chinese tests on tuesday good luck. And look! Wonderful! I'm having an extra math test during tuition!
xoxo-marissa

Sunday

`Sometimes i wonder, just how many people in this world out there hate me. Kinda hard to think of the positive side of that sometimes, y'know?
Well, to tell you the truth, i don't of myself as all that great. You think you're great? I don't freaking care. Y'know, sometimes people tell me not to care what people think, so sometimes i don't care, and sometimes i do. But I think the most despicable act is to let that person know that you don't like the way they are by your actions. I mean, what the hell, you could just tell me straight out. For example, you could say,"Hey marissa, i think you're _______________. Could you tone it down a little?" What the hell, I could take a little constructive criticism. What do you think of me as? An ass with no brains? Perhaps so, my friend, if i could call you that. Like all people, I have a limit. You irritate me too much, i break down and i shout. You talk to me in that kind of tone, i get pissed. And well, you won't wanna know what happens next. I ain't gonna condone your crap. I try to be nice to you, and I'm not expecting anything much in return, JUST A LITTLE COMMON COURTESY. Couldn't you just give me that? I think my life is screwed up enough without you in it, so don't mess it up even more for me yeah? You don't like me, TELL ME. I won't hate you for it. PROMISE. If you don't have the courage to do that, then what can I do mann, it's your life. You can continue hating me for the rest of your life for all I care, just don't let it show in front of me. And those people whom I already know don't like me, gawd don't act like you like me.[in a platonic way, of course] It makes me sick, y'know. Ugh. I hate myself. I hate the way I've been born to be. Because apparently, some people don't like it. And I like to please people, who doesn't? Yes, and cut the lecture. Life isn't fair, I KNOW THAT BY NOW.
`Let me list you some of the things that I think of myself as, or some people think of me as:
1. A snobbish know-it-all.
2. A poser.[ ohho. i know who thinks i'm this. It's so obvious.]
3. A despo.
4. A show-off.
5. A bitch.
6. A freak.
7. A hopeless socialiser.

`I'm sure there's more to the list. So give me some more and I'll add on to it yeahh? How fun.
`Right now the only close friend I have is Susannah. I've not forgotten bout the rest of you. I just can't confide in you. You won't understand me okay?
` SIGH.

sunday

hello.
haha you have to DL the video. Karen recommended to me..lol. Russell Peters is a damn good comedian. but abit racist though..

http://www.toastedbrownie.com/2005/01/russell-peters.html

xoxo-marissa

yayy. what a lovely clarinet pic. Majella sent this to me over MSN. thanks! (: 

Thursday

Only 21 days to SYF.

boredd. will be hardworking tmr until Easter. i'm gonna try my best anw. I HAVE to study for chinese. I don't wanna fail. I can't be bothered for Lit.. just read through and rmb can le. hahh.

Who has read 'the old man and the sea' by Earnest Hemmingway? Tell me what it's about. lol. I wanna know before i read it. heh.

lalalaaa. 15 mins more. i'm gonna go back to class & eat something before recess ends. and hopefully i can complete my zuo wen corrections and comprehension. Then I'll have no hw! so far la.. day's not over yet, disappointingly. lol. is there such a word? -shrugs-.

kk i'm going now. tata!

xoxo-marissa

monday

lol.. somehow it seems i always blog on mondays and tuesdays. weird. hmms. haha. i told tao that i'd update soon, so here i am! haha. Look tao... i'm UPDATING! lol. listening to that jap anime song we're using for OM now.. no idea how to sing it though.. i dun have the lyrics.. and TIFFANY is not online now. hmph. she's supposed to send me the lyrics.

I think i'm gonna blow with all the stress these few days. I'll be SO happy once OM is over. sigh. i'm sorta wondering now, why the hell is the font so big in my comp all of a sudden. I'm insulted. Even the computer thinks i'm blind. >.< Ok. time to go study for geog and science now. Wish me good luck! Oh and best of luck to all ppl taking geog and science test tmr.. Esp to 2GY, may we all do better for science this time round! (: hahh.

xoxo-marissa

tuesday

; - listening to NSB Millenium 2000 [Tokyo Kosei Wind Orchestra]

`Boo.

y'know. I kinda feel like crying now. No idea why though.. maybe it's the music I'm listening to. Or MAYBE it's the fact that I have so much on my mind right now. -shrugs- sometimes its nice to have someone to talk to. and sometimes it's not. half the time it's the wrong person.

i don't feel like blogging anymore. maybe later eh?

xoxo-marissa

wednesday

bored bored bored bored and more bored.

whoosh. boredom. and pure unadulterated nonsense. from me of course! who else >.<

guess where i am. in the library, duh-uh, like i always am at recess. i get to borrow 3 books now. yippeee. =)

okayys. i have nothing to type. so i'm going now. byeee.

xoxo-marissa

tuesday

boo. i'm back. rarr.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeks. i fell asleep and forgot to go tuition. how nice >.< now i won't know what i missed and when the next lesson is. what the hell la. oh well.

today was damn bullshit la. we stayed back until so damn late for some chinese crap which was really stupid. and didn't help me at all.. because i had no idea what they were talking about. eeeek. there's a giant ant on the bed. i better go before it bites me...

xoxo-marissa

monday

of what hope is left inside me

boo. i shall make this a short entry to make up for that huge gap between the entry i posted earlier today and the previous one, which was like one or two weeks ago. 3 cheers for me =) no idea why though.

i haven't really studied history, just typed out notes. i'm gonna print it out soon. then i'll really get down to studying. It's eleven already. Guess who's gonna be dead for hist test tmr? ME. who? ME. riight. and i haven't even touched math. AND lit. AND the stupid chinese zuo wen thing which i'm supposed to copy out. ain't I guai. =X oh well. i'm gonna take a bath now so i can keep awake into the night to finish mugging for history. I don't wanna fail! And I won't. sometimes it pays to have confidence and determination. so i hope that my salary is high. ohh like whatever. i'm underestimating my lameness.

uh-huh. I am SO going to the Barker Carnival. I'm going there to play LAN. hahh. then later we'll go for HCJC concert. wheeee. =) lol. i just realised i forgot to bring my clarinet back. 4 days without clarinet(or is it 3).. i'm gonna suffer. I miss my clarinet already. boohoo.

adventure camp rocks!

xoxo-marissa

monday

of what hope is left inside me

boo. i shall make this a short entry to make up for that huge gap between the entry i posted earlier today and the previous one, which was like one or two weeks ago. 3 cheers for me =) no idea why though.

i haven't really studied history, just typed out notes. i'm gonna print it out soon. then i'll really get down to studying. It's eleven already. Guess who's gonna be dead for hist test tmr? ME. who? ME. riight. and i haven't even touched math. AND lit. AND the stupid chinese zuo wen thing which i'm supposed to copy out. ain't I guai. =X oh well. i'm gonna take a bath now so i can keep awake into the night to finish mugging for history. I don't wanna fail! And I won't. sometimes it pays to have confidence and determination. so i hope that my salary is high. ohh like whatever. i'm underestimating my lameness.

uh-huh. I am SO going to the Barker Carnival. I'm going there to play LAN. hahh. then later we'll go for HCJC concert. wheeee. =) lol. i just realised i forgot to bring my clarinet back. 4 days without clarinet(or is it 3).. i'm gonna suffer. I miss my clarinet already. boohoo.

adventure camp rocks!

xoxo-marissa

monday

heyyho. :] i think that's a retarded looking smiley. don't ask.

well anyway.. i shall ask u folks to ignore my last entry.. anyone would be able to tell that i was pissed with someone. and i've had lots of mood swings lately, so bear with me ya? if you can't then don't read my entries..i didn't ask you to.

I did lots of ehhm... how do i say this.. "confessing" yesterday. more than i've ever done in my whole life. so i'm abit overwhelmed now. and quite high too. haha. games are so funn =) riiight. i'm typing crap. we have history test and math test tmr, both for which i am soooo dead. they are like my 2nd and 3rd worst subjects, first being chinese, duh-uh.

whooo. i think the library lost the book that i returned. and now i can't borrow. damn. someone teach me not so swear so much. i want to be guai. =( but i think that will never happen. i seem to have a knack for getting into trouble.

my comp is screwed. there is no space left to patch maple. 2mb of space left!! can you believe it? and the only programs that are mine inside the com are maple and MSN. all the rest are my mum's music DL programs. like wadde hell. and she says that maple is taking up too much space. is 0.88mb too much space? that's like hell little la. what's wrong with her. bleahh.

okayys. i need to go now. 5 mins before recess ends. toooooodles! =)

xoxo-marissa

monday

I HATE SC. ppl here are so bitchy. esp 3 certaing ppl, no 4 actually. i am so changing school next year. i have a feeling no one's gonna miss me. but do I care? NO. why the effing hell wld they care anw? 2GY. hmmm. screwed class. 1SE. rocks. but other than that, SC sucks. i mean like in band, it's not like VERY bad and stuff, but i feel i can't learn anything. then i get very super pissed at myself. and yea.. blah blah things start to happen. like my friend in montfort is so super much much much better than me. cause he's close to his seniors. and they actually HELP him. and like they give him scores and stuff. he's nice. and pro at playing the clarinet. unlike me. SO unlike me. oh well. life is never fair. so i'm gonna work hard this yr, and maybe go to TJC or something. if i stay in SC one more year, i think i'm gonna commit suicide.

saturday

hohoho.

my sis just said the swear word. she's gonna die. TOO BAD.

oh well. lol.

y'know, i'm feeling very very bad now. bleahh.

hey, i'm really really sorry k.i just don't think we're meant to be together and stuff, though you're like really really nice. i'm scared to face you now. after one week, i feel like i'd just die of embarrassment. Oh yea, i still haven't done that passage that we're supposed to choose frm the bible. hoho. too bad. i'll just flip to one page and crap something up i guess. hope you did it. doubt so though. bleahh.

right. i did super badly for science. i don't dare to show my mum. she'll cut off my head. damn. how did liney get so high?!? 32, like HELLO?? i got like 10 marks less than that. so damn bloody crappy.

ooooh!! y'know angela, aud, tiff and amelia came to my house for OM today.. hahaha. so cool. we got really distracted and Amelia got irritated. hoho. =)

aah wells. today's blog post has been super wu liao. i shan't say no more.

xoxo-marissa

Happy Val'z Day =)

bleahhh. i still love you. why today? couldn't it just be ytd? or are you just trying to make my valentines day more memorable than it already is? no hard feelings, but i just can't help feeling sad. i miss you lots. i'm not gonna cry, because i'm strong inside. i just wish you were there. but i understand. you're like the sweetest guy ever. i just hope you and rachelle get back together again. =) yeah so like, good luck. if you ever need anything, i'm still here.

okay.. cannot stand it anymore. feelings taking over. bleahh. -screams- maroon 5 on TV! ahhhh. lol. the grammy's rockk. haha. i'm feeling so heartless now.. ehhh. heartless? i mean heartbroken. haha. well, heartless too. but you don't need to know why. this is stupid.. i'm getting more and more sad each time i think abt it. for all you know i might just cry myself to sleep. haha. no i'm just joking. lol. ohkay. i have to do my literature now. but for the last time...

i love you.

it doesn't mean anything now. there's nothing i can do.

xoxo-marissa

HEYY.
I'M ANGRY TODAY
ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED.
BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY
WHICH WAS SO DAMN SCREWED.
I SCREWED UP IN BAND
YESTERDAY
LOTS OF TIMES.
I FEEL RIDICULOUSLY FOOLISH NOW.
AND STUPID TOO.
WHY?
BECAUSE I HAD TO BE
STUPID
AND
DUMB
THE WHOLE OF YESTERDAY.
EXCEPT IN THE NIGHT
WHERE I WAS NOT SO RIDICULOUSLY
STUPID
AND
DUMB.
SO NOW,
I'M
STUPIDLY
AND
DUMBLY
VENTING MY ANGER AND FRUSTRATION HERE.
IN A
STUPID
AND
DUMB WAY,
LIKE ALL
STUPID
AND
DUMB
PEOPLE DO >.<
AND I NEARLY CHOKED ON WATER
THREE TIMES
IN THE PAST 15 MINUTES.
I MUST BE FATED.
AND THERE I GO,
DRINKING WATER AGAIN.
YOU WOULD THINK I'D HAVE LEARNT MY LESSON BY NOW,
BUT WEIRDLY,
I HAVE NOT.
SO NOW,
I'M ANGRY, FRUSTRATED AND WEIRD.
THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY STUPID AND DUMB LIFE,
DON'T YOU THINK?
DON'T TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW.
WHEN I'M VENTING MY ANGER
AND YOU TALK TO ME
I'D NOT TREAT YOU IN A VERY NICE WAY,
LIKE I USUALLY DO. *COUGH*
I WANT THE EARTH TO OPEN UP AND SWALLOW ME.
BUT NOT THE EARTH UNDER THE OCEAN.
NO MORE TSUNAMIS PLEASE.
I THINK THE WORLD HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THOSE FOR THE REST OF IT'S LIFETIME.
WAIT A SECOND.
WHAT DO I CARE ANYWAY?
I HATE MYSELF.
BUT I LOVE
MY FAMILY - WHO'S BEEN BY MY SIDE SINCE I CAME INTO THIS WORLD( EXCEPT MY SISTER, WHO'S BEEN BY MY SIDE 4 YEARS AFTER I CAME INTO THIS WORLD.)
MY FRIENDS - WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME IN TIMES LIKE THIS, AND HAVE SHARED HAPPY TIMES WITH ME, FOR WHICH I WILL ALWAYS TREASURE.
MY ENEMIES - WHO DESERVE TO BE LOVED. FOR ALL I KNOW, THEY HATE ME. BUT I WILL NOT HATE THEM BACK, FOR THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEM LIKE ME MORE, DOES IT?
NATURE - WHICH HAS CALMED ME DOWN WITH IT'S BEAUTIFUL ARCHITECTURE.
AND LASTLY,
GOD - THE CREATOR OF ALL THINGS. WHO HAS CREATED EVERYTHING THAT I LOVE ON EARTH: MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS, MY ENEMIES, AND MOST OF ALL, NATURE. I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THESE THINGS, AND MORE.
LOOK.
I'M NOT ANGRY ANYMORE.
I APPRECIATE THINGS AROUND ME.
I DO NOT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED.
I LOVE YOU.

xoxo-marissa

Wednesday

`heyya! lol. today's been quite crappy, seeing that i just found out i screwed my math test.. >.<" lol.. tuition yesterday was sooo slack. teacher was damn blur. ahahaa. aah wells. lol. i have no reason to be happy today, and yet I am.. so weird, don't you think? -shrugs- dunno what's come over me today..

hehh. man u won yesterday. ( why am i saying 'heh'? i'm utterly disgusted w/ myself. ahahaaa.) nvm. arsenal will win EPL again next year..and Man Utd will not yah? =) hahaaa.

yay ms wee extended our lit essay deadline to friday. so nice right? hahaa. I pity the SE ppl.. haha. okayy.. i gtg write ppl testimonials now.. haha. ppl who want me to link them pls tell me.. or er.. remind me to change your link..or something. hahh.

xoxo-marissa

ehh. today screwed all my tests mann. hha. but then right next week no tests =). ahaa. in library now.. er.. amelia's sitting next to me being a guai kia and doing her hw.. lol. unlike me. i'm crapping here =X. Yamaha is stupid. went there yesterday.. wasted all my time.. everything no stock!! lol. but i signed up for the yamaha card thing..

sunday

heyy =) haha. i'm exceptionally high today. hehh.

i miss my clarinet...i'm definitely gonna borrow it back tmr.hahh. my friend gave me new scores today.. i wanna play!! lol. Alvamar is such a nice song. hehh. so is Oregon. X)

today we had cat. class. haha. it was damn funn.james & the rest of the sec 4s, well.. ex-sec 4s anyway...they put us a skit that was damnnnn funny. haha. i laughed until i cried. lol.

oh well.. er.. does anyone know the code to put music on your website? tell meeeee pls? lol.

erh.. i gtg =)

xoxo-marissa

friday

ehh. my blogskin is so screwed. have to change it soon mann.lol.

AMI ROCKS!

so does 2GY. haha.

Friday

`yay. today is a happy day! the sun is out and shining in the azure blue sky XP

ok. what the crap. yay today is the last day of the five day week. how bad could it be? the only lesson i nearly fell asleep in was science. wow. diffusion and osmosis is SO interesting!>.<"haha. i felt very accomplished during PE today. we won the sec 3s! yay!

ooh. band was fun. haha. we went to barker for exchange w/ their band. We played well! although I still cannot play the Alvamar last part.. which is quite sad la..

yepp. and taekwondo after that was fun too.. although we didn't really do much.. mostly talking crap w/ lester.. lol.

i must get gold for napfa this year :))

xoxo-marissa

Thursday

heyy. there's no school tmr. yay. lol.


I'm feeling quite er.. dunno hw to say la. It's like I want to get into RJC through IP but like 10 ppl frm our sch can get in? then like what am i doing.. i'm like stupid. so I want to like, work hard, and improve my grades alot.. esp when I'm in like GY when i prob have to be in SY to get into RJ. That's like so sad. I want Lynne to come w/ me. :(

I need tuition. for history and lit and math. howw. i hope i do well this year la. shit. I have so many tests. and i think i want to improve my clarinet alot this year? so that I can at least play first or something.. if i dun get into IP. then I won't be so sad. :( I'm sad now. dunno why lehh.

I'm like so scared la. what if I don't do well.. then what? I think I shall ban myself from coming online on weekdays. Guess how long that's gonna hold up. prob less than a week? omg. I need to study more. and be more hardworking. and talk more. like.. learn how to communicate properly. yeah. because now like I'm so quiet around those ppl i'm not used to.. shy. yeahh. whatever. i'm feeling so stupid now. I need someone to talk to. oh well.

love you all X)

xoxo-marissa

Tuesday

I shall make this a quick one yeahh.. haha. haven't blogged in quite a while.

I feel like crying.

I feel like laughing.

I feel like shouting.

I feel like screaming.

ahhh.. riverdance finale is so super nice. i can't stand it. i dunno what to feel also. i KNOW that one day I will be able to play it pro-ly.haha.. yeahh. shit i have to go now.. i'll be back to blog when i get home k. hahaa.

Wednesday

Long time no posttt. haha. a really long time. lol. I have a new temp. yay!![screams]

I love 2GY.

I love my friends.

I love SC.

I love my family.

I love God.

I love my church.

Talking about church, I just want to say that my church rocks my world. The people there are SO nice, esp those in my catechism class. i love the teacher who put all my friends in the same class as me, or me in the same class as them, which ever way you want to put it. Oh btw..

msg @ rachel & max: I'm so sorry, but thomas sort of told me who's in our class. hehh.

yesss. back to church..oh and i like father gerrard. his sermons are quite interesting. i think. haha. i like going to church, as long it's my church i'm going to, and not some ulu church far away.. I know it's kinda the same la, but i like my church ALOT ALOT ALOT. yepp.

One and a half weeks have passed since school started, and i have to say that sec 2 doesn't seem so bad for the meantime. I don't know how it's going to get later on in the year, but I have to say that 2GY rocks. the teachers are like super nice, esp the geog teacher. hahh. i'm being biased because i'm the geog rep and geog is my fav subject. ahahahh. The only boring subjects are math, and science. oh. did I tell you that I nearly fell asleep in science today? I was struggling like mad to keep awake mann.yesterday it was math, today science, what next? I think i better sleep earlier. Almost everyday I've been sleeping at like, 12am or later..

shucks. i have so many books from the library that i haven't read yet.. how am i going to finish?? arghh. i can also conclude, not from the library books, that my chinese tuition sucks. it's group btw. let me tell you. it is so cheem that i cannot understand most of the time. it's more creative work. and how creative am I? Ooh, very. NOT.

do you realise that i'm gettting more and more blur? hahh.
xoxo-marissa