What happens next?

ok. so i'm back for another negative and somewhat emo-type post. i've juz moved. new place is... in my own words - PUNY... had to get rid of a lot of things but think i've gotta get rid of more. probably the 2 most sentimental things that i'll be losing or have already lost are the house itself. and my piano. well, i guess they've both served me well. been living in that home for close to 14 years. and suddenly, i'm out of there. as for my piano.. that's even more of a heartache. I've had it since i was 2-3 yrs old.. i'll be missing it really badly. but, on a brighter note, i did play it one last time.

then.. there's the whole... "i'm no longer a student. i'm working now" well.. yeah. that is my choice. but when u take up more responsibilities, when are the things you do ever enough? how much exactly do people make to be able to afford them a house to call their own with a brand new set of furniture, savings in the bank or even a car..

sometimes, i wonder if your expenditure really goes up alongside your income. sure seems like it. i'm sitting here on a saturday nite.. or.. early sunday morning... wondering how i managed to survive when i wasn't earning at all. at the same time. my mind's wondering what exactly employers are looking for.. and also, where on earth do we find employers nowadays who are actually willing to pay employees for what they're actually worth instead of extorting the daylights out of them..

where do people get the cash to go study overseas or even juz go on a short trip without too much worries?! and even though i'm here n i juz got "conned" into indulging a little on myself.. i'm fretting about the rest of the month..

oh god.. this feeling really sucks.

that's enough ranting for now coz my brain's not functioning rite anymore.

til next time. let's hope i survive life.

the brat in me...

so.. i din go to sleep excitedly or even... hmm.. guess it juz felt like i had nothing to look forward to anymore. all because of one phone call and a few words..the nxt few days are gonna be so... dead..

but anyway, i ended up going to sleep late. and everything juz felt so dreary and dull that I somehow couldn't pull myself out of bed. came in late... like... really late... close to an hr after my starting time. dreading everything so much that somehow i'm even able to make myself feel sick.. yeah. i'm probably sick in the head more than anything else though.

never knew that anyone could miss someone so badly. you've stipped the smile of my face...

I am happy coz I'll soon be able to clear my debts.
I am frustrated coz of the space constraints in my new room.
I am upset coz I don't know wad my life will be like after I achieve some form of financial security.