Does age goes directly proportional towards maturity... Just some food for thoughts in the case of Jack Neo Case...
I find it that with maturity, comes age and not the other way else.. People are just so mistaken about it, thinking a 48 year old person should have more maturity than a 20 year old girl... I say it is bullshit... If so, what makes you think you are more mature than the guy next to you... Just think for this second..
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death
Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death
What Children Need to Know
Linda Goldman
Children’s questions are a window to their soul and a mirror to their inner thoughts and feelings.
Why did my mum have to die?
- Respond to every child according to his or her age.
- Respond to same child in different way as he grows up.
- Not every question has an answer.
What does dead mean. How do people die?
- Preparing answers and dialogues using definition of death and of specific ways people die can encourage open communication and maintain a level of honesty for the grieving child.
Where was god when I needed him
- Respect a child’s belief system.
- “What do you belief after someone else die?”
- It is okay to admit that no one has all the answers about GODD and meaning of life and death.
Where is my person? What is heaven?
- it is common to express hope to express hope in seeing a loved one again and finding a place of connection.
- It is helpful for children to draw a picture or tell a story about heaven.
- It helps children feel comforted and safe if they can hold a positive image of where that person is that died.
My mom is dying? What can I do?
- Adults shut them out of difficult conversations.
- No right words or fears that it is inappropriate to include them.
- Only create isolation for child.
- Explain what illness is and how they can help.
- Words like hospice and terminal can prepare children for the future.
I am very ill; who can I talk to about dying?
- Talking helps children cope with their present illness and creates a safe space to share concern about dying.
I worry a lot, will I die too? Will you die too?
- Actively involving children in exploring thoughts and feelings, expressing pent-up emotions, asking questions, and using reality checks can help to release these worries in safe and meaningful ways.
Will I forget Dad? What if I forget him? How can I remember?
- Involving children in memories activities keeps loved ones at heart.
- Activities can help refresh a memory.
- Memory boxed, books, tables, rituals or grief support groups.
- Add meaning or comfort when remembering a person who is dead.
Is it my fault that my mum died? Did she suffer?
- Listen not only with your ears but also with a listening heart.
- Allow young people the opportunity to tell their entire story without interpretation,, judgment , preconceived notions.
- uncover children’s blame and worry by hearing their own questions, dreams, visions.
- Answering honestly, providing accurate facts and details creates an atmosphere of trust.
- Allows kids to express guilt fear and magical thinking.
How do other people grief?
- Pretending, play acting and role-playing are creative outlets to express grief
- creating safe environment where children share tears, frustrations, silence and imagination enhances a healthy grief process
- Uncomfortable to watch a child cry – it can be very healing at the right time and place.
I’m scared too. What can I do to feel safe?
- experience traumatic grief => feel frightened
- Fear can override grief and stop grief process
- Providing safely for children is essential
- Takes time and distance
- Create activities that help create feelings of a protected atmosphere
- Release that their overwhelming thoughts won’t last long
- Explore grief process
- Process can be unpredictable or messy
How can I remember with my friends and family?
- Participating in age appropriate ways gives meaning to their grief process
- Saying goodbye to a loved one conveys a sense of dignity and respect fot them
- Gives strong message about the value of life
Quotes
- We cant protect children from life’s tragedies but we can ease their journey by responding openly to their questions
- Repression around difficult feelings involving death can lead to a low self esteem and depression or projected anger and destructive behavior
- Open sharing with young people allows free expression of natural flow of grief processes and ensures a safe heaven of respect and honesty
Summary
- truthful
- keep explanation simple
- share the facts in age appropriate ways
- remind children it was not their fault
- define death
- allow children to be recognized mourners
- remember children grieve differently
- treat every child and their grief unique
- honor a child’s belief system
- Prepare children for funerals and memorials.
What Children Need to Know
Linda Goldman
Children’s questions are a window to their soul and a mirror to their inner thoughts and feelings.
Why did my mum have to die?
- Respond to every child according to his or her age.
- Respond to same child in different way as he grows up.
- Not every question has an answer.
What does dead mean. How do people die?
- Preparing answers and dialogues using definition of death and of specific ways people die can encourage open communication and maintain a level of honesty for the grieving child.
Where was god when I needed him
- Respect a child’s belief system.
- “What do you belief after someone else die?”
- It is okay to admit that no one has all the answers about GODD and meaning of life and death.
Where is my person? What is heaven?
- it is common to express hope to express hope in seeing a loved one again and finding a place of connection.
- It is helpful for children to draw a picture or tell a story about heaven.
- It helps children feel comforted and safe if they can hold a positive image of where that person is that died.
My mom is dying? What can I do?
- Adults shut them out of difficult conversations.
- No right words or fears that it is inappropriate to include them.
- Only create isolation for child.
- Explain what illness is and how they can help.
- Words like hospice and terminal can prepare children for the future.
I am very ill; who can I talk to about dying?
- Talking helps children cope with their present illness and creates a safe space to share concern about dying.
I worry a lot, will I die too? Will you die too?
- Actively involving children in exploring thoughts and feelings, expressing pent-up emotions, asking questions, and using reality checks can help to release these worries in safe and meaningful ways.
Will I forget Dad? What if I forget him? How can I remember?
- Involving children in memories activities keeps loved ones at heart.
- Activities can help refresh a memory.
- Memory boxed, books, tables, rituals or grief support groups.
- Add meaning or comfort when remembering a person who is dead.
Is it my fault that my mum died? Did she suffer?
- Listen not only with your ears but also with a listening heart.
- Allow young people the opportunity to tell their entire story without interpretation,, judgment , preconceived notions.
- uncover children’s blame and worry by hearing their own questions, dreams, visions.
- Answering honestly, providing accurate facts and details creates an atmosphere of trust.
- Allows kids to express guilt fear and magical thinking.
How do other people grief?
- Pretending, play acting and role-playing are creative outlets to express grief
- creating safe environment where children share tears, frustrations, silence and imagination enhances a healthy grief process
- Uncomfortable to watch a child cry – it can be very healing at the right time and place.
I’m scared too. What can I do to feel safe?
- experience traumatic grief => feel frightened
- Fear can override grief and stop grief process
- Providing safely for children is essential
- Takes time and distance
- Create activities that help create feelings of a protected atmosphere
- Release that their overwhelming thoughts won’t last long
- Explore grief process
- Process can be unpredictable or messy
How can I remember with my friends and family?
- Participating in age appropriate ways gives meaning to their grief process
- Saying goodbye to a loved one conveys a sense of dignity and respect fot them
- Gives strong message about the value of life
Quotes
- We cant protect children from life’s tragedies but we can ease their journey by responding openly to their questions
- Repression around difficult feelings involving death can lead to a low self esteem and depression or projected anger and destructive behavior
- Open sharing with young people allows free expression of natural flow of grief processes and ensures a safe heaven of respect and honesty
Summary
- truthful
- keep explanation simple
- share the facts in age appropriate ways
- remind children it was not their fault
- define death
- allow children to be recognized mourners
- remember children grieve differently
- treat every child and their grief unique
- honor a child’s belief system
- Prepare children for funerals and memorials.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Control...
So much to talk about and yet it does not really matters actually... So much to concern about and yet you know, in the end the person whom you are concerned with does not quite deserve it...
It has actually come to this stage of my life...
Judgement is only a tool that makes the illusion-ed world of ours grey in color...
As i start to end this, i realise the world of philosophy is actually in a messed... Not until you have actually mastered the highest level of self control of your own pathway of light...
Yet another incoherent blabbing of mine...
Watched Avatar on the internet today... Realised that if I watched it on theatres, the effect onto me will be different... It is a good movie... not with the graphical effects, but rather the invasion plot... The mindset of the invaded... Not many can actually understand them...
It has actually come to this stage of my life...
Judgement is only a tool that makes the illusion-ed world of ours grey in color...
As i start to end this, i realise the world of philosophy is actually in a messed... Not until you have actually mastered the highest level of self control of your own pathway of light...
Yet another incoherent blabbing of mine...
Watched Avatar on the internet today... Realised that if I watched it on theatres, the effect onto me will be different... It is a good movie... not with the graphical effects, but rather the invasion plot... The mindset of the invaded... Not many can actually understand them...
Friday, February 5, 2010
Random Ramblings #1: Alive & True
What is it like to be alive,
To be true to thy self & thou soul?
For we bury our real selves under guises,
Guises of politically correctness & politeness;
We fear what others might think,
We are slaves to the approval of men,
And often we don't mean what we say,
Or say what we mean.
We're taught to "think before we speak",
but do we think too much and soon forget what we intended to speak?
Do we quench that fire burning in our hearts,
With cold shower of cynic's opinions?
Like how that ol Japanese saying goes,
"A nail that sticks out gets hammered down."
Somewhere in the recesses of our minds,
Do we subconsciously submit to that notion?
While growing up, I always appreciated harmony,
So much so that it seems like I practise self-censorship every so often,
Fearing that indeed if I speak, I'll be hammered down by someone in authority
Someone who's supposed to have a "better" opinion,
Someone more qualified?
Is it really wrong though, to be ignorant and voice out what you feel?
I used to hate people who appeared like empty vessels,
Trying to argue about an issue, while they are misinformed or
With arguments so shallow it's like wading through a swimming pool fit for a foetus.
But at least I salute them for first coming out of their comfort zone,
That comfort zone of sitting on the fence,
And not take the risk of becoming the public enemy or being ridiculed.
And talking about opinions...
When was the last time I really voiced what I felt.
An opinion which ain't just regurgitating what you hear or read in the news,
any 'auntie' can do that.
Where's the last time I thought critically about an issue?
To develop my own personal opinion?
And not just opinions, but also principles, convictions.
Where are my convictions, my principles, my morals, my values?
What do I stand for?
What makes me alive?
Am I true to myself?
Taken from : http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=289190490269&ref=mf
To be true to thy self & thou soul?
For we bury our real selves under guises,
Guises of politically correctness & politeness;
We fear what others might think,
We are slaves to the approval of men,
And often we don't mean what we say,
Or say what we mean.
We're taught to "think before we speak",
but do we think too much and soon forget what we intended to speak?
Do we quench that fire burning in our hearts,
With cold shower of cynic's opinions?
Like how that ol Japanese saying goes,
"A nail that sticks out gets hammered down."
Somewhere in the recesses of our minds,
Do we subconsciously submit to that notion?
While growing up, I always appreciated harmony,
So much so that it seems like I practise self-censorship every so often,
Fearing that indeed if I speak, I'll be hammered down by someone in authority
Someone who's supposed to have a "better" opinion,
Someone more qualified?
Is it really wrong though, to be ignorant and voice out what you feel?
I used to hate people who appeared like empty vessels,
Trying to argue about an issue, while they are misinformed or
With arguments so shallow it's like wading through a swimming pool fit for a foetus.
But at least I salute them for first coming out of their comfort zone,
That comfort zone of sitting on the fence,
And not take the risk of becoming the public enemy or being ridiculed.
And talking about opinions...
When was the last time I really voiced what I felt.
An opinion which ain't just regurgitating what you hear or read in the news,
any 'auntie' can do that.
Where's the last time I thought critically about an issue?
To develop my own personal opinion?
And not just opinions, but also principles, convictions.
Where are my convictions, my principles, my morals, my values?
What do I stand for?
What makes me alive?
Am I true to myself?
Taken from : http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=289190490269&ref=mf
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Quotes i found online...
1. Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.
2. You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
3. When everything else is lost, the future still remains.
4. Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.
5. The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
6. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
7. If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
8. Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
9. You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.
10. Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
11. Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
12. If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.
13. Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.
14. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
15. Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything
16. There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
17. Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
18. All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
19. Change your thoughts and you change your world.
20. Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
21. There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advice and those who don't take it.
22. The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
23. Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
24. Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
2. You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
3. When everything else is lost, the future still remains.
4. Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.
5. The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
6. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
7. If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
8. Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
9. You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.
10. Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
11. Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
12. If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.
13. Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.
14. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
15. Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything
16. There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
17. Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
18. All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
19. Change your thoughts and you change your world.
20. Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
21. There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advice and those who don't take it.
22. The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
23. Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
24. Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
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