i am not dead

i had the fucking most awesome week last week! :D

i will blog bites about it soon. now not in the mood to blog. because i just saw someone's portfolio.

i always get this nauseous feeling after i see someone else's portfolio. it's the pinch of dread mixed with impending doom.

T_T

rain is coming

i open my windows to ventilate my room and lowered my blinds to filter the sunlight. but gusts of wind from the sea thrust against my blinds causing them to beat viciously upon my window grills.

it sounds like a thousand cymbols going off at the same time.

clang. clang.

clang.

metal on metal. nails on chalkboard.

i see rain.

a 2 hour nap

a 2 hour nap can do wonders. it allows time for thought and reflection.

be the better man

i will strive to be the better man. from this day on.

silly silly me

i am silly.

pink umbrella

yesterday, i could have either gone to pink dot or go to the adm grad show. i went to the adm show and i was sorely disappointed. this entry is really really rude and insolent so if you would take offense, leave after reading this sentence.

the animation had more hits than misses as compared to film. my fav from animation is gachapon girl (GOOD CONCEPT). there were a few that were pretty good like chugawagas, reality tv (GOOD CONCEPT) and spycat.

to me, the worst would be beauty, hatched and sheepbulb. you know something sucks when u just want it to end.

i do not fancy surrealism. i don't like to see how you think, neither do i want to appreciate how u perceive the world.

film was worse because, if anim sucks, at most is just 5min. film was fucking 30min. LINE 1 was the best of the bunch and im glad they put it first. The rest were just really bleh.

especially Seeya In Elektrik Dreamz and Sky & Night. Sky and night was basically a 30min film with the verbal reflections of 1 woman who wanders about town and meets a angmoh woman who could be a lesbian.

i hate verbal reflections. just when u thought it stopped, she ploughs on with more boring insights about life. the whole thing was so dreary. 30min of self-reflections about LIFE. how. fucking. terrible? why would i give a shit about the tide ebbing and flowing?

eletric dreams is similar. even the spelling is irritating. eleKtriK dreamZ. wow, original. this is very similar to sky and night except the narration is alternately done by children and adults, which makes it even more bizarre. it lacks consistency. the sets and costumes were unexplainable.

this is the kind of shit i don't like. see i only want shallow straight forward films. you give me mind-fucking films, i will scorn it. i did not understand wtf was going on in ED.

and i also don't want to understand. this last film left me with a headache on the way home.

the food : pasta mania. UGGH. i want better food!

.

should have gone pink dot instead, looks way more fun and i can get a pink umbrella and plushie FOR FREE T_T i read online report say got 10k ppl. wah!

a journey

i think in the next 5 hrs i will hardly speak.

where there is free food, i will go.

frogs and 2.4km

last night i dreamt that one of the requirements for 2.4km run was that i had to run with a leashed frog.

i felt very bewildered. a frog will not run in front of u on a leash like a dog.

i envisioned me running and pulling a frog-shaped balloon behind me. eventually the frog will die from being dragged across the track 6 rounds. i did not want a dead frog!

so i went to confront the PTI (something like PE teacher) and ask him how come i must have a frog with me when i run 2.4km.

.

my guess is that the frog symbolises my worries about not being able to jump for standing broad jump and my mind blended the 2 into this bizarre dream.

me and my weird dreams should be written as my weird dreams and i.

shitting

i dunno why but i like to announce shitting online. shitting is like a monumental milestone in my life. now i am having cramps but i dun think i can shit.

asshole close shop le.

should i reopen?

just drank some minute maid orange juice. i hope the shopkeeper will revitalise.

.

i dont have habit of bringing things into toilet. i dunno how people can read and shit at the same time. it's like their hidden power. when i shit, i focus all my attention on the shit and nothing else.

i guess u can say that i am a focused person in life. sometimes.

.

yesterday still weighs upon my mind like a boulder.

crap i screwed up

gonna lose a friend

SURVIVOR relived / stupid lalaland review

i've been watching survivor challenges lately and i was reminded that alliances will change in the blink of an eye. people who seem nice and friendly might back-stab me when my back is turned. but such things cannot be helped, that's just the way humans are. guard your heart as you would your soul. (is that a right reference?)

yesterday i went to watch lalaland with isk. a thai horror show and yes i slept with my light on last night. i totally embarrassed myself in the theatre. so much so that when the show ended, i hastened to make a quick getaway because i dowan ppl to turn back and pinpoint me as the source of, yes.

i was repeatedly scared by the sudden movements and especially the sound effects. i also noticed lots of mis en scenes in the movie. i think my teacher would have been proud.

my thai class (wed) ended last week and they are really smart! they presented everyone with a certificate of... attendence!

rather than competency! i wish i was as cunning.

finally my wednesdays are mine again :D since the start of this year... my weds have been busy! so yes. can finally enjoy a calm peaceful wed nite.

i am doing something stupid

today, i am going to watch a thai horror movie called laddaland with my classmate. yes the spelling is correct. i know i will be scared shitless after watching it and have insomnia for 2wks.

i always promise myself that i wont ever watch a horror movie again because of the consequences. i get so freaked out. and paying $ to scare yourself is just stupid right?

but, promises are made to be broken. therefore, dun make promises. unless u are a dragon rider.

i watch the trailer last night, and when the music changed, i promptly paused it refusing to continue. i still wanted to sleep last night. but i had a bad sleep. i dreamt i was in a thriller and everyone was out to brainwash me. zzzz slept at 3, woke up at 7.

so much for psyching myself.

i am feeling cheery now but i know i am going to regret this later! XD

OK!

just saw my results!! overall quite happy but i was hoping for an improvement but saw none.. ah well...

what have i done

"what have you done today to make you feel proud?"

it's been sch hols for a while now and i have been sportier than ever. every wk for the past 3 weeks i have been playing badminton with my classmate and her outside friends. very fun really enjoy it :D

cannot tell that i would like badminton right? :P lol. tho i cannot smash but i play until very shiok. i always play until got salt on my body! is damn fun! like dam healthy like that.

and yesterday... or the day before, i volunteer myself for orientation's amazing race.

i took very long to decide... but whatever comes, i have to stick with it and make the best of it. it's time to test my personal calibre. people always say i give up half way, so now's my chance to prove to myself that im not what they say.

cannot always be so selfish and i should help others right? when they are in need? but i am not the siao-on kind so.

yea and i better blog all this now because my mood is relatively good. i am going to check my results for SEM 2 now. and i think my mood will deprove.

results released on thursday so on a stupid quest to prove my resolve to myself, i did not check. HAHA. but that was partly cause of fear too.

OK. cya.