This Picture is Kinda Creepy.
My sister sister got married last weekend at the Wyndham in Chicago. Good times were had by all. I drank 42 beers and a vodka tonic then I went to the dance floor. After laying down some serious moves to "Sweet Home Chicago" and "Livin' on a Prayer" the DJ felt that I was ready for some more advanced dancing. After seeing my moves the DJ decided to challenge me with "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. What the DJ didn't know was that for the last 3 weeks I had been jammin exclusively to this song in my car. Seriously, I think I have worn out the CD. Well, "My Humps" was a crowd pleaser as all of my sister's friends and relatives stormed the dance floor and created a 250 person circle. For a moment there was this awkward pause where nobody was willing to embarrass themselves by displaying their solo dance moves. This is about the time that Bobbo usually steps in and comes up with some brilliant interpretive dance but Bobbo was not invited to the wedding and that left a void in the middle of our circle. As Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas sang, "Seven Jeans, True Religion, I say no but they keep givin" I felt a push from behind catapulting me into the center of the circle. I had no plan, no choreography, no practice. I was thrust into this circle with 500 eyes burning holes in my ill-fitting tuxedo and I didn't know what to do. I tried to stall by pretending I didn't want to be in there. I pointed at the person who pushed me and gave her the "I'm gonna kill you look", the whole time racking my brain as to which of my patented dance moves I was going to perform. The truth is I wanted to be in that circle, I have been training for this moment since I was a little kid watching the Jackson 5 reunion on the Motown 25th Anniversary Show. Was I going to do the "Running Man", the "Lawn Mower", the "Sprinkler" or the crowd pleasing "Robot"? So many options, so little time. After some quick thinking I did the first thing that came to mind: I stood in the middle of the circle, let out a yell, threw up a karate kick that would have made Daniel LaRusso jealous and finished by striking a most imposing karate pose.
Where the hell did that come from? I have never done that before. I have never even thought
of doing that. The response from the crowded dance floor was that of laughter. It was the proverbial laugh at you, not with you moment. So, I retreated to the outside of the circle where I witnessed other people gets cheers and high-fives after performing the "Running Man", The "Robot" and the "Sprinkler", the very same moves I wished I would have performed. I stood stationary on the outskirts of the circle with my hands in my head wondering what went wrong, knowing that I ruined the chance of a lifetime. What if Kirk Gibson would have struck out instead of hitting a home run in the 1988 World Series? What if Christian Laettner missed that turnaround jumper in the 1992 NCAA Tournament? What if Warren Holloway would have dropped the pass from Drew Tate in the 2005 Capital One Bowl? That's exactly what happened to me. I had the chance to become a legend and I booted the easiest ground ball I'd seen in years. I am Bill Buckner.
I woke up the next morning with little recollection of the previous evening. I was more concerned with the throbbing in my head than the fool I made of myself the night before. As the day went on I began remembering what I had done the night before. I was at the airport in the midst of one of those, I wish I could take back everything I did last night feelings when I looked up and saw CNN was reporting that Pat Morita had passed away two days prior. I had been so tied up with the wedding that I had no idea Mr. Miyagi was dead. Then it all became very clear to me. During my moment in the spotlight at my sister's wedding, Pat Morita possessed my body and made me do the karate kick. His body had been buried but his soul was living strong in my body last Saturday night. The grace and flexibility of the kick was something I am not capable of on my own. There was another force working with me that night. I am not sure if Pat Morita is still living inside of me now but maybe all of us have a small piece of Pat Morita inside of us and it is just waiting for its moment to shine through. Maybe I was just hammered.
This Picture is Kinda Creepy.
Since we were talking about good times in Iowa City I figured I would put this pic up. I was not there but I saw the pictures and heard the stories. I wish I could go back in time and be at Doug's 25th.
