*knocks on screen* Remember me? Yep, I may just be one of the worst bloggers, ever. I can't believe it's been 6 months since I last posted! How is that even possible? I even have a Blogger app on my phone to make it easier--so much for relying on the app.
I have to admit, when I looked at the date of my last post, I giggled. Like literally. Why? Because it's just about the SAME time when I was asked to step up from being PSO Treasurer (think PTA) to PRESIDENT! Yep, that's me. From what I've heard from other mothers, being PTA/PTO/PSO President is a lot of hard work and it takes a lot of time. But what I've learned is that being the president the first year of the organization's history in a charter school that just started it's second year is beyond time consuming! Now, don't think I'm complaining, I'm not. I'm soooo not. I am beyond grateful for this opportunity and actually enjoy every hour I spend at the school and at home on the phone/computer. I'm just stating a fact. It takes a lot of time, time away from other focuses.
So, maybe I'm not the worst Blogger. I've been legit busy, but I could have possibly snuck a post in here and there the last few months, right? Maybe? Was I that busy? Based on friend's reactions, I guess I was.
Now, down to business--weight loss business. I was doing pretty good this year, despite the relocation to a new school, town, house, etc. The scale said I was, although I felt that I was eating whatever I pretty much wanted. I really was doing well as I look back. For two months over the summer, I didn't eat any man made carbs, and it felt fabulous! But the weirdest thing happened, and I'm still analysing it to understand the, why?
Around early autumn I learned something that took me by surprise. I needed to get new pants, the size I was wearing was 18. So when I went to the store, I tried on 18s and they were HUGE. So I tried on 16s, still huge. I finally realized I'm actually a size 14. I looked at myself in the mirror. Like really. Looked. At. Myself. And I discovered I saw myself much heavier than I actually was. It was a real eye opener.
Then, do you know what happened?
After being excited over this new reality, the holidays kicked in. And you know what I did? I ate. Like, really ate. Like, pretty much anything that was in front of me, I ate--no restraint whatsoever. In the back of my subconscious mind--at the place where you think you are in control, but really, you aren't--I found myself saying, "You've done well. You've pretty much eaten what you like all year and you've maintained. Eat this. Eat that. You'll be okay."
So I did.
What kind of crazy talk is that?! It's like the whole devil on one shoulder with the angel on the other. In my case, I swear my devil took out my angel with a huge cream puff grenade, because she was nowhere to be found. She's been mute. During the season starting with Halloween, I just ate whatever was there because "I was size 14." I swear I'm insane. When I feel heavy, I tend to eat less. But as soon as I feel like I'm in control, I soon find myself going out of control.
So, here I am at the end of 2012 and I'm not sure what goals to make. Or if I should even make any since it's such a great opportunity for sabotage. Maybe I should go in half effort to fool myself into doing better. I don't know. After 30+ years of playing this game, I'm tired and I think that weight control, for some, is literally something that can put you in the loony bin. I know what it takes. I know it's not complicated. I know I have the ability to do it. So how is it that I'm ending this year "fluffy" as ever?
All I can say is this, and I make no promises, but I have one year until I'm 40. One. And I'll be darned if I begin the next decade of my life unhappy with the way I look, but mostly with the way I feel. I want to shop and have a closet filled with cute clothes, not with old familiars that are faded and getting holey because "I don't want to buy big clothes when I'm just about to get smaller." I want to feel cute. I've had 4 kids, and I've forgiven myself for not looking my best, I've allowed myself to be in "progress." I have no excuse now. My baby is about to start school and I have run out of excuses. It's all me. Now, I just need to get my focus in check, and make 2013 the year I stop the insanity. I'm seriously tired of being a yo-yo. I'm seriously tired of this game. You probably think I've gone insane. Maybe I have? I want to focus on something else.
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Day 100
Although I've been working out for 100 days straight, I don't have anything outward to show. My weight has pretty much remained the same since the beginning of the year--I've been up and down the same five pounds on the scale. No great losses, no dress sizes smaller, no inches lost. Nothing really. But that's okay.
It's been a rough year. It seems like everyone is going through something, and for me, it's dealing with unemployment. My husband lost his job just about a year ago and it's been hard getting used to a schedule where he's home all the time and to live on a fraction of his old income. It's been disheartening to see him post resume after resume only to end up with nothing. No interviews. No interest. Nada. He has his MBA, a ton of experience, and it's still not enough to get a job during this economy.
I'm a stay at home mom who homeschools our kids. I have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind to enroll the kids in school and find a job. But would the gain of a job make up for the loss of what I currently have? Considering I haven't been in the work force for over 12 years, and none of my children have ever stepped into a school except for my oldest when he was enrolled in Kindergarten, I'm going to have to say, NO. The benefits of working are not greater for the things I would lose.
I'm an emotional eater. I admit, I have NOT been eating as well as I should. I know better, my degree is in Nutrition, but I traditionally deal with the difficult things in life through food. I'm so much better than I used to be, but I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be. I am thrilled to say that although I haven't been eating as well as I should, I haven't binged like I have in the past. Considering my personal stress levels, I could have easily packed on 50 pounds the past 12 months--trust me--but I haven't, and I contribute this to the fact that I have a goal that has nothing to do with eating, or the scale, or what size jeans I wear.
Being successful with a goal that has nothing to do with eating gives me validation. It reminds me that even though I may not have complete control over what I'm eating, I can still feel like I'm accomplishing something with my workouts. For me this is huge, it's helping me maintain during a time I could easily be out of control.
I'm hoping that during the next 100 days I will be able to make better choices in my eating so I can maximize the benefits of the exercise I do each day. :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Life is ALL about choices!
It certainly is, isn't it? Should I workout today or wait until tomorrow? Should I eat this apple or dive into that cookie? Should I make good choices or bad choices? Am I going to start today and do what I need to do to feel good or should I wait until tomorrow or Monday? Life is about choices, always has been, always will be.
I have always been a black and white person, all or nothing. Mediocracy and the grey area have never been in my nature. Although in some areas this might be good, I am finding that it doesn't apply to everything.
In efforts to loose the last bit of weight and to create a lifestyle the invites health, I have learned that it can't be taken with an all or nothing attitude. While an "all" attitude gets your workouts in and has you eating healthy and doing healthy behaviors, a person can burn out and can find themselves in the "nothing" attitude. This attitude will undo all the good you did when you were doing the "all." It creates a yo-yo of your life. I spent well over a decade with this type of outlook. I gained a lot more then I ever lost with this outlook as well. All or nothing hasn't worked at all for me in my weight loss journey.
What I have found that has caused success isn't mediocracy either. I never thought that I was living in the "gray area" either, I have realized that I HAVE been. I have been doing well with the exercise and for the most part I have been eating well, but I need to do better. Being in the grey area of things leaves you wanting to do better. So in pondering recently, the thought of choices has become apparent. You can be having a challenging day and you just want to do nothing at the end of it. But here lies a choice. Do you continue doing nothing being engulfed by the challenge of the day, or do you make a choice to do something else, something that gets you closer to your life's goals? For instance, at the end of a day where the kids have been challenging, the house is a mess and I just want to do nothing, I have a choice. Do I just sit on the couch and watch TV or get lost in a book and "relax" or do I do something that has me going to bed one step closer to my desired lifestyle? I have the choice to workout and know I did something to get me closer to the goal of the lifestyle I want to create. Nevermind that I didn't eat as well as I would have liked, or that I didn't fold the laundry or get some computer work done, I made the choice and worked out. In that moment of decision, I decided to make a choice that brought me closer, not farther from my goals.
In life so often we are a victim of circumstance. We just go through life and blame the things around us for not being or doing the things we want. "I am too busy to focus on myself." "If only I had more time." "If I had more money, time, health, space, happiness..." You fill in the blank. This is easy to do and to get caught up in. In life, I have learned, that you need to make the decision and then to make the choices that follow that decision. It's our human nature to also sabotage ourselves. We get used to a certain thing a certain schedule and we sabotage ourselves out of fear of what we could have. If you want something for yourself, you need to fight for it. If you don't, you'll probably never achieve it. In my life, if I want to have the lifestyle in which I dream of, it's not going to be handed to me and it's certainly not going to be easy or I would be living it right now. I am going to have to fight for it. I will have to make choices that bring me closer and avoid the ones that bring be farther. We aren't stagnant in our lives. We are either moving towards our goal or away from it, and it's always by choice. If we are in a place we don't want to be, it's because we have chosen to be there through the choices we have made.
With this in mind, I find myself making better chioces. By knowing that in every choice I am either getting closer or farther from my goal I must remember the decision I have made. The decision to make choices that will bring me closer to my lifestyle goal. Since I have made this decision to get closer to my goal, the choices will eventually get easier simply by the practice of doing so. If I find a choice that is challenging, I will have to fight to achieve my goal. The achievement of goals in life is not given, or stumbled across by accident, they are fought for.
I have always been a black and white person, all or nothing. Mediocracy and the grey area have never been in my nature. Although in some areas this might be good, I am finding that it doesn't apply to everything.
In efforts to loose the last bit of weight and to create a lifestyle the invites health, I have learned that it can't be taken with an all or nothing attitude. While an "all" attitude gets your workouts in and has you eating healthy and doing healthy behaviors, a person can burn out and can find themselves in the "nothing" attitude. This attitude will undo all the good you did when you were doing the "all." It creates a yo-yo of your life. I spent well over a decade with this type of outlook. I gained a lot more then I ever lost with this outlook as well. All or nothing hasn't worked at all for me in my weight loss journey.
What I have found that has caused success isn't mediocracy either. I never thought that I was living in the "gray area" either, I have realized that I HAVE been. I have been doing well with the exercise and for the most part I have been eating well, but I need to do better. Being in the grey area of things leaves you wanting to do better. So in pondering recently, the thought of choices has become apparent. You can be having a challenging day and you just want to do nothing at the end of it. But here lies a choice. Do you continue doing nothing being engulfed by the challenge of the day, or do you make a choice to do something else, something that gets you closer to your life's goals? For instance, at the end of a day where the kids have been challenging, the house is a mess and I just want to do nothing, I have a choice. Do I just sit on the couch and watch TV or get lost in a book and "relax" or do I do something that has me going to bed one step closer to my desired lifestyle? I have the choice to workout and know I did something to get me closer to the goal of the lifestyle I want to create. Nevermind that I didn't eat as well as I would have liked, or that I didn't fold the laundry or get some computer work done, I made the choice and worked out. In that moment of decision, I decided to make a choice that brought me closer, not farther from my goals.
In life so often we are a victim of circumstance. We just go through life and blame the things around us for not being or doing the things we want. "I am too busy to focus on myself." "If only I had more time." "If I had more money, time, health, space, happiness..." You fill in the blank. This is easy to do and to get caught up in. In life, I have learned, that you need to make the decision and then to make the choices that follow that decision. It's our human nature to also sabotage ourselves. We get used to a certain thing a certain schedule and we sabotage ourselves out of fear of what we could have. If you want something for yourself, you need to fight for it. If you don't, you'll probably never achieve it. In my life, if I want to have the lifestyle in which I dream of, it's not going to be handed to me and it's certainly not going to be easy or I would be living it right now. I am going to have to fight for it. I will have to make choices that bring me closer and avoid the ones that bring be farther. We aren't stagnant in our lives. We are either moving towards our goal or away from it, and it's always by choice. If we are in a place we don't want to be, it's because we have chosen to be there through the choices we have made.
With this in mind, I find myself making better chioces. By knowing that in every choice I am either getting closer or farther from my goal I must remember the decision I have made. The decision to make choices that will bring me closer to my lifestyle goal. Since I have made this decision to get closer to my goal, the choices will eventually get easier simply by the practice of doing so. If I find a choice that is challenging, I will have to fight to achieve my goal. The achievement of goals in life is not given, or stumbled across by accident, they are fought for.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Bring on 2010
A whole new year, full of possibilities! I think I have the regular working out habit solidly formed, but I need to amp things up this year! This Christmas I learned that although I might have overcome the working out regularly obstacle, I still have to work on my eating habits. For the most part, they are good, but that 190 pound lady can still be found inside from time to time. I was really surprised to find myself "feeling" heavy again. It really is a mental thing and if one isn't careful, they can sabotage themselves simply by giving into their feelings.
I keep saying this and I am using this as motivation. My weight is good, but I would like it to be better. For instance, in the morning, my BMI is "healthy" but by the time the evening comes my BMI is "Over weight." Talk about messing with the brain! I want my BMI to be "Healthy" no matter what time of day it is.
So for 2010, I am going to work at getting my brain in a healthy mode. To have my brain match my weight. There are days that my brain feels 190 and starts acting like it. I know this all sounds like crazy talk but it's true. When a person looses physical weight, they need to make sure they are loosing the mental weight too. Now I am not talking about emotional hang-ups and issues that can also act as "weight." I am talking about the perceptions we have of ourselves.
If you have gone decades being a certain body type, you get used to eating, exercising, shopping and living in that body type. I see this happen to others - it happened to me! You get on a program or you do something that works and the weight drops. You are surprised because you can't believe it actually worked. Then you find yourself in unfamiliar territory. Clothes fit. Your body feels good. Things are just different, different for the good of course! But if you are still seeing the world through an overweight perception, you will find yourself back at the familiar weight when you get off the program or start changing the habits that gave you success. It happens all the time!!
So this year, I am going to keep with the daily workouts (minus Sundays) and going to amp them up a bit. For that last part of the year, being so busy, I just didn't have my 30 minutes to exercise in the evening so I started to bump up the level and cut back on the time-level 15 for 15 minutes. (This works great in building muscles) but after the holidays I need to focus on the cardio. I just "feel" so heavy! So I am going to keep the level up and now also bump up the time. My goal is to start February doing 30 minutes at level 15. I love a good book and when I don't have time to read I try to do two things at once, workout and read. A good book keeps me on the elliptical longer by passing the time and I can get some good reading in too. It's a win-win!
I am also going to try to purge my body of sugar by reducing it dramatically. The holidays can be so indulgent with the sugar. I need to get rid of these cravings!!
So my big goal of 2010 is to have an OFFICIAL "AFTER" picture to share on this blog. One that I am proud of where my body and brain match in weight with a healthy BMI 24/7!!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Day 350 - A Journey With No Ending (A Personal Discovery)
FINALLY, my 3 week virus has finally died a permanent death! I have learned a lot during this time that I wanted to share.
1. My body and appetite are directly effected by my exercise program. While I was sick, I lightened my workout and ate often. During this time of year, eating often isn't a good thing. I haven't binged, but if you take a bite of all the yummy things you are given or make, it tends to add up. With these two things happening, I noticed the scale starting to creep! I am grateful that my mentality now is that if the scale starts to creep, I get back into my good habits and it creeps back down. Before, I would just say, "Whatever", continue eating and doing what I was doing that brought on the extra weight and just not look at the scale for a time since I knew it was going up. Needless to say, if I don't workout, I will not be able to maintain and I will most certainly gain weight. Maintenance is NOT an option if I am not working out.
2. Even though I have worked out every day in 2009, lost 40 pounds and gained a body I can be happy about, I have found naughty eating patterns slipping back! When I realized this I was thinking, "What the heck? Have I learned nothing??" It became apparent to me that this journey doesn't have an ending, it's a journey for life. I can be thin and doing the things that bring health, but inside me, there is always that part that if left unchecked, will cause weight gain and will enjoy unhealthy behaviors. Which leads me to #3.
3. I ALWAYS NEED TO BE ON MY GUARD!! If not, bad behaviors will creep back when illness or stress are experienced. This realization is what brought me to the computer tonight. When I first started this journey and decided to make better food choices so I could loose weight, I was in the mindset to make good choices, to do the things needed to loose weight. To find the tricks and substitutes needed to bypass those things that would prevent me from being unsuccessful. As months went by, and these new behaviors became routine, I didn't have to think so much about it. They were positive habits, things that were coming naturally and that would give me the results I liked. I entered the holiday season with a plan, but the mindset wasn't there. I got cocky and didn't really think so much about the decisions that needed to be made to continue weight loss. I find myself today, with a plateful of Christmas cookies. I didn't down a bunch like I normally would have, but I did use a knife and take a taste of each of them. Those little bites add up! I didn't use the technique I used to use when I would stop, take a moment and think about what it would taste like and realize that I didn't really want it after all. That is a necessary thing to do this time of year because there is just TOO much good stuff. You CAN'T take little bites because when you have 12 things you take a bite of, it's like eating a few! Any other time of year, a bite or two of something would be fine, but this is the season where there is just too much.
So I end this post with a reminder to myself, never let your guard down, never search for that light at the end of the tunnel, and NEVER, NEVER, EVER take your foot off the elliptical for more than 24 hours.
1. My body and appetite are directly effected by my exercise program. While I was sick, I lightened my workout and ate often. During this time of year, eating often isn't a good thing. I haven't binged, but if you take a bite of all the yummy things you are given or make, it tends to add up. With these two things happening, I noticed the scale starting to creep! I am grateful that my mentality now is that if the scale starts to creep, I get back into my good habits and it creeps back down. Before, I would just say, "Whatever", continue eating and doing what I was doing that brought on the extra weight and just not look at the scale for a time since I knew it was going up. Needless to say, if I don't workout, I will not be able to maintain and I will most certainly gain weight. Maintenance is NOT an option if I am not working out.
2. Even though I have worked out every day in 2009, lost 40 pounds and gained a body I can be happy about, I have found naughty eating patterns slipping back! When I realized this I was thinking, "What the heck? Have I learned nothing??" It became apparent to me that this journey doesn't have an ending, it's a journey for life. I can be thin and doing the things that bring health, but inside me, there is always that part that if left unchecked, will cause weight gain and will enjoy unhealthy behaviors. Which leads me to #3.
3. I ALWAYS NEED TO BE ON MY GUARD!! If not, bad behaviors will creep back when illness or stress are experienced. This realization is what brought me to the computer tonight. When I first started this journey and decided to make better food choices so I could loose weight, I was in the mindset to make good choices, to do the things needed to loose weight. To find the tricks and substitutes needed to bypass those things that would prevent me from being unsuccessful. As months went by, and these new behaviors became routine, I didn't have to think so much about it. They were positive habits, things that were coming naturally and that would give me the results I liked. I entered the holiday season with a plan, but the mindset wasn't there. I got cocky and didn't really think so much about the decisions that needed to be made to continue weight loss. I find myself today, with a plateful of Christmas cookies. I didn't down a bunch like I normally would have, but I did use a knife and take a taste of each of them. Those little bites add up! I didn't use the technique I used to use when I would stop, take a moment and think about what it would taste like and realize that I didn't really want it after all. That is a necessary thing to do this time of year because there is just TOO much good stuff. You CAN'T take little bites because when you have 12 things you take a bite of, it's like eating a few! Any other time of year, a bite or two of something would be fine, but this is the season where there is just too much.
So I end this post with a reminder to myself, never let your guard down, never search for that light at the end of the tunnel, and NEVER, NEVER, EVER take your foot off the elliptical for more than 24 hours.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Day 335 - You CAN have your cake and eat it too...
...only have a few bites! Seriously! There is no reason to ever deprive yourself of the things you enjoy to eat. The quantity, yes! You can't fill yourself with your favorite foods AND be healthy. PERIOD. It's not going to happen. Either you want to do the things to bring health. Or you don't. If you are not able to control the amounts of food you consume, you are accepting your current state of health. You have agreed to stay there too.
With our bodies and the desire for weight loss, our mind is more powerful than we give it credit. It plays tricks on us. We play tricks on it. We try to fool ourselves and say that "tomorrow I will do better." If you say this, you are basically saying that right now isn't a good time. That you are not worth the time or the effort. Waiting until tomorrow is procrastination. Think about it. If you REALLY want to do something about your health, if that desire is true, then right now is the time to make the change. Anything other than "right now" means you aren't serious with taking care of yourself. So the next question would be, why? Why are you not worth the effort right now? I have found myself saying these same questions to myself. Some days, I don't want to hear it. Other days, I ponder, try to figure it out, and usually, I have the ability to do better "now."
Over the last few days, getting back into my typical workout and making better food choices, I lost that extra weight I found during Thanksgiving. :o) I am starting to believe myself that it really isn't that hard to maintain if you only listen to yourself. Stop ignoring the inner voice that wants to make good choices. I had such a hard time before because I didn't want to hear myself. I would give myself excuses why now isn't the right time to do better and how tomorrow would be. There is so much psychology in weight loss and health maintenance. I honestly believe that if we are honest with ourselves, we can overcome many of the obstacles that we have put there. But if we aren't honest with ourselves, we are working against ourselves, and that doesn't work when trying to achieve a better lifestyle.
One of the biggest hangups I had when I was going through my life in a binge state, was looking at foods as being "bad" and "good." When having a bad day, how easy is it to justify eating the "bad" foods? You had a bad day, you deserve to relax and have some of the food that makes you feel good. Honestly, if you have had a bad day, eating a bunch of carrots and brocolli isn't going to cut it. But if there isn't such a thing as "bad" and "good" in foods, how much more free you are when a bad day comes around! That alone will help free up brain space to deal with the day itself. No guilt because you jammed a half a dozen of the nearest cookie down your throat. If a cookie makes you happy and feel better, enjoy your cookie! 1 cookie won't make you gain weight, 1 cookie won't keep you from loosing weight either. It's the ones you eat after that one that cause the trouble. Sometimes, when I have had the kind of day where I used to binge after the kids are in bed, I now just have a bite of something, if anything at all and then I go do my workout. After my workout, any desire for food is usually gone. If not, just have a bite. Seriously. I know that the saying goes to "replace negative behaviors for positive" and I agree with that. But often times, when you are just getting started on your journey, or if you have partially or even completely fallen off the wagon, that isn't easy and it's the little hang-ups that make it hard to get started or to continue. I spent years saying "I'll do better tomorrow" and tomorrow took years to come. So if you are starting to be serious and ready to make the changes needed to get on your journey and stay there, cut yourself some slack and take things slow. Slow and steady wins the race.
I really would like to finish my secondary goal of loosing 10 more pounds before the end of the year, but realistically, it most likely won't happen. I have 31 days, it's the holidays, life is beyond busy, and if even one virus gets into the house, there is no way I'll be able to focus on such a goal. Just the pressure of the goal itself is enough to make me want to eat. So, I'll give it a good effort, maybe I'll reach the goal, probably won't, and I am okay with the outcome because I am okay with where I am. Take the pressure away and you have more control. Just getting through December at my current weight is a huge accomplishment and I can't discredit myself for that.
So you CAN have your cake and eat it too. Enjoy a few bites and get moving!! Who wouldn't want to enjoy the foods they like AND wear the size and have the health they truly desire? It is possible and I am proving it to myself each day!!
With our bodies and the desire for weight loss, our mind is more powerful than we give it credit. It plays tricks on us. We play tricks on it. We try to fool ourselves and say that "tomorrow I will do better." If you say this, you are basically saying that right now isn't a good time. That you are not worth the time or the effort. Waiting until tomorrow is procrastination. Think about it. If you REALLY want to do something about your health, if that desire is true, then right now is the time to make the change. Anything other than "right now" means you aren't serious with taking care of yourself. So the next question would be, why? Why are you not worth the effort right now? I have found myself saying these same questions to myself. Some days, I don't want to hear it. Other days, I ponder, try to figure it out, and usually, I have the ability to do better "now."
Over the last few days, getting back into my typical workout and making better food choices, I lost that extra weight I found during Thanksgiving. :o) I am starting to believe myself that it really isn't that hard to maintain if you only listen to yourself. Stop ignoring the inner voice that wants to make good choices. I had such a hard time before because I didn't want to hear myself. I would give myself excuses why now isn't the right time to do better and how tomorrow would be. There is so much psychology in weight loss and health maintenance. I honestly believe that if we are honest with ourselves, we can overcome many of the obstacles that we have put there. But if we aren't honest with ourselves, we are working against ourselves, and that doesn't work when trying to achieve a better lifestyle.
One of the biggest hangups I had when I was going through my life in a binge state, was looking at foods as being "bad" and "good." When having a bad day, how easy is it to justify eating the "bad" foods? You had a bad day, you deserve to relax and have some of the food that makes you feel good. Honestly, if you have had a bad day, eating a bunch of carrots and brocolli isn't going to cut it. But if there isn't such a thing as "bad" and "good" in foods, how much more free you are when a bad day comes around! That alone will help free up brain space to deal with the day itself. No guilt because you jammed a half a dozen of the nearest cookie down your throat. If a cookie makes you happy and feel better, enjoy your cookie! 1 cookie won't make you gain weight, 1 cookie won't keep you from loosing weight either. It's the ones you eat after that one that cause the trouble. Sometimes, when I have had the kind of day where I used to binge after the kids are in bed, I now just have a bite of something, if anything at all and then I go do my workout. After my workout, any desire for food is usually gone. If not, just have a bite. Seriously. I know that the saying goes to "replace negative behaviors for positive" and I agree with that. But often times, when you are just getting started on your journey, or if you have partially or even completely fallen off the wagon, that isn't easy and it's the little hang-ups that make it hard to get started or to continue. I spent years saying "I'll do better tomorrow" and tomorrow took years to come. So if you are starting to be serious and ready to make the changes needed to get on your journey and stay there, cut yourself some slack and take things slow. Slow and steady wins the race.
I really would like to finish my secondary goal of loosing 10 more pounds before the end of the year, but realistically, it most likely won't happen. I have 31 days, it's the holidays, life is beyond busy, and if even one virus gets into the house, there is no way I'll be able to focus on such a goal. Just the pressure of the goal itself is enough to make me want to eat. So, I'll give it a good effort, maybe I'll reach the goal, probably won't, and I am okay with the outcome because I am okay with where I am. Take the pressure away and you have more control. Just getting through December at my current weight is a huge accomplishment and I can't discredit myself for that.
So you CAN have your cake and eat it too. Enjoy a few bites and get moving!! Who wouldn't want to enjoy the foods they like AND wear the size and have the health they truly desire? It is possible and I am proving it to myself each day!!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Day 316 - One More Tip to Add to Yesterday's Post
DO NOT KEEP ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE THAT IS A TEMPTATION TO YOU!
temp·ta·tion (t
mp-t
sh
n):
1. Something that seduces or has the quality to seduce.
2. The desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid.
Why have something so powerful in your house pulling against your desire to do better? For me personally, I have proven to myself this year that I can do pretty good in the beginning. But keep that temptation in the house for a few days, my resistance to do good weakens and I often find myself thinking, "Let's just finish this off so it's gone and I can stop picking at it." Not good. Not good at all. But if I keep it out and away, I am okay! I LOVE to bake, so if I can make something, enjoy it the first day and then share with others immediately, all is well. I am not one who likes to torture themselves with keeping temptation within reach, it makes it hard to stick to my convictions.
temp·ta·tion (t
mp-tshn):1. Something that seduces or has the quality to seduce.
2. The desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid.
Why have something so powerful in your house pulling against your desire to do better? For me personally, I have proven to myself this year that I can do pretty good in the beginning. But keep that temptation in the house for a few days, my resistance to do good weakens and I often find myself thinking, "Let's just finish this off so it's gone and I can stop picking at it." Not good. Not good at all. But if I keep it out and away, I am okay! I LOVE to bake, so if I can make something, enjoy it the first day and then share with others immediately, all is well. I am not one who likes to torture themselves with keeping temptation within reach, it makes it hard to stick to my convictions.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Day 313 - 2 Pounds Closer!
I really didn't expect this, but when I hopped on the scale, it was down 2 more pounds! I just had to share! This time of the year is so hard to focus on losing weight. The weather is cooler, so baking is much more inviting. The holiday season is picking up so there are more reasons for treats and fun foods you aren't typically around.
I admit that I have been eating more than I would like to. I am not binging, but I haven't been passing on the sweets. The only thing different from last year to this year is that I am still exericsing every day. Can maintenence at a healthy weight really be as easy as exercising daily? If so, then you'll find me doing it everyday because I like to eat and I am really liking my new shape. I can go to any store I like and actually find something I want to wear. This is a new concept, it's convenient and it's healthy on the mind too.
So looking back on this post Halloween week to see why I lost 2 pounds, I have learned that if you can keep your body moving, it will work with you. When you are ignoring your body's need to move and exercise, it totally works against you. It really is all about exercise and eating moderatly. Although I enjoyed Halloween, the rest of the week I had my simple breakfast of bran and simple lunch. I didn't snack because I was just too busy to do so. Dinner was typical, but with the weather changing, I even had a little bigger servings. Although I exercised daily, I did something different, and maybe this was the reason. This week was so busy that I found myself using the excuse, "I am tired and I don't really want to workout. Instead of doing 30 minutes, I'll do 15 and crank up the resisitence." Maybe 15 minutes at level 15 is as effective as 30 minutes at level 10? The ellipitical works those large leg muscles which do burn the most calories. Maybe that is an effective substitute?
I think one of the most interesting things about this journey are the things I have learned along the way. I hope you have been able to learn a little from my experience as well. Have a wonderful day!
I admit that I have been eating more than I would like to. I am not binging, but I haven't been passing on the sweets. The only thing different from last year to this year is that I am still exericsing every day. Can maintenence at a healthy weight really be as easy as exercising daily? If so, then you'll find me doing it everyday because I like to eat and I am really liking my new shape. I can go to any store I like and actually find something I want to wear. This is a new concept, it's convenient and it's healthy on the mind too.
So looking back on this post Halloween week to see why I lost 2 pounds, I have learned that if you can keep your body moving, it will work with you. When you are ignoring your body's need to move and exercise, it totally works against you. It really is all about exercise and eating moderatly. Although I enjoyed Halloween, the rest of the week I had my simple breakfast of bran and simple lunch. I didn't snack because I was just too busy to do so. Dinner was typical, but with the weather changing, I even had a little bigger servings. Although I exercised daily, I did something different, and maybe this was the reason. This week was so busy that I found myself using the excuse, "I am tired and I don't really want to workout. Instead of doing 30 minutes, I'll do 15 and crank up the resisitence." Maybe 15 minutes at level 15 is as effective as 30 minutes at level 10? The ellipitical works those large leg muscles which do burn the most calories. Maybe that is an effective substitute?
I think one of the most interesting things about this journey are the things I have learned along the way. I hope you have been able to learn a little from my experience as well. Have a wonderful day!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Day 292 - Favorite Fast Food Fix
When in a pinch, we like In-N-Out Burger. I have to admit, it's the one fast food place that doesn't make me gag. It seems so clean of an establishment, the food is basic, not severely adulterated and I can even watch while waiting in my car to see if anything fell on the floor. Maybe their facade has me fooled, but maybe the place is as clean as it seems.
With such a basic menu, it's easy not to get distracted with other things on the menu. You need a strategy to make it through the dangers of all fast food experiences. This is my strategy:
I order the same thing every time I go and I feel full, treated and I won't find it on the scale. I order a hamburger so I can save calories on the cheese. (I don't think it's real cheese either) I order it "ANIMAL STYLE" so I can get tasty grilled onions and a bit of special sauce. It's such a juicy burger, I don't miss the cheese. I also order some fries and ask for them "WELL" so that they will still be crispy by the time I get to our eating location (usually home). I share this order with my kids because all I really want is a few fries, like 10. As the kids have gotten bigger and eat more, I now order 2 orders. I have a nice glass of water when I am finished and I am full.
You might ask, "If you are going through the drive through just to take it home, why don't you just go home and eat something there?" Yes, that is the best solution!! There are just times where it's 1- 1:30 and we haven't had lunch. By the time I get home (we live out in the country), make lunch and eat it, it's after 2 and we are famished. As most know, when you get overly hungry, you will eat more. This is my solution to prevent overeating on late days and late lunches on the run.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Day 276 - Rough workout day
Today was one of the hardest days to get on the elliptical. I have had a throbbing headache all day. No big deal, I get those periodically. What was special about today? On top of the massive headache, I started to get massive cramps around lunch time. Yea, you know the kind ladies. The kind you get every so often when you swear you can feel them in your toes. Ben, had an evening meeting to go to and so I needed to wait until he got home before I could even think about working out. I have to say, by the time he got home, I just wanted to go to bed. But I have a goal and I am not going to let a little pain get in my way of reaching it!! So I compromised and shortened my workout. It was the longest workout ever! I literally counted the minutes until I could fall off!! But I did it. And the reward? I swear when I looked in the mirror I noticed a figure I didn't realize I had. Maybe it was the angle of which I looked into the mirror, maybe I am just loopy from discomfort. Whatever the reason, I don't care, I liked what I saw!!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Day 173 - Motivations For Change - Reason 1: Eat real food in single portions.
The reasons I will post are not in order of importance but rather how they came to my awareness. I have spent a lot of time pondering and analyzing the "why" in this weight loss journey. As reasons come to mind, I will post them.
Today I was thinking about the foods we eat when trying to loose weight. All previous success in weight loss was because I following a certain plan, a certain way of eating. Eating certain foods, measuring, weighing. The thought of putting forth this much effort this time was tiring. I have 4 kids. I home school these kids. I have church responsibilities that take time. I AM BUSY! Most people are!! I do not have time to put a lot of time and thought into what I am going to eat, which is why I have a weight problem! This time, I knew measuring, following a specific plan and eating specific foods wouldn't work for me this time. I had two choices, either find a way to make it simple OR accept the fact that I was a plus sized individual and be happy with it. Option two was way to exhausting to accept! The idea I had was to keep eating regular food. Unfortunately, foods with the least amount of processing tend to have the most fat and calories, but on the plus side, they also have real ingredients. Pick up a jar of regular mayonnaise. Read the ingredients and you will recognize what is used to make the stuff; oil, eggs, vinegar, salt...things you could pull from the cupboard and make yourself-if you had the time! Now pick up some fat free mayo and look at the difference in ingredients-looks like it was made in a lab! We live during a time where we are taught that if we are going to loose weight, we have to eat fat-free, sugar-free, carb-free, to be successful. This time, I decided to prove them wrong--at least I had hoped!
When I decided to start paying attention to what I was eating, I decided to by all means reduce or eliminate some of foods that have no nutrients for our bodies. Ice cream, cake, brownies... (Chocolate is good for the soul so that isn't one I was going to cut out, but I certainly needed to reduce the amount I consumed!) Changing the way I cook so that I can loose weight in a manner that my kids will still eat is quite a time challenge as well as a budget challenge as well. Who has time to cook multiple dinners or money to buy fancy specialty foods so you can make a meal taste better than it really is? I remember cooking items when I did WW that had ooodles of ingredients so that the food would have the same taste and texture as the full fat version. This is fine if you have tons of time, but who has that when the full fat version only had a few, common, household ingredients and was guaranteed to be yummy? The only solution I could find was asked in a question, what if I just eat the foods I cook already, that the family likes and just eat smaller amounts? So that is what I have been doing. We make strogganoff with full fat cream of mushroom and sour cream, bean burritos with real cheese, casseroles full of potatoes, cheese and sauce. I just eat a portion and then fill up on salad that has olive oil and vinegar on it or some other vegetable. The fat is what fills us up and good fat helps our body have healthy skin, shiny hair and strong brains, not to mention helps us utilize the fat soluble vitamins A,D, E & K.
So in summary, make sure you are cooking foods that are full of real foods, get rid of that chemical "diet" food. Find recipes that are easy to make and that your family enjoys because that will make your life simple. When you go out, don't be stressed about what you are going to eat, just eat a portion of whatever is being served. If you are going out, where portions are typically bigger, eat half of what you are served and save the rest for the next day or share with another. At home, eat a portion of whatever you make and add a vegetable. Sometimes, you might not be full, but you won't be hungry. Physically, it doesn't take a lot to kill the hunger pains and if you are hungry again in a few hours, have an ounce of your favorite nut and some water. In the evenings, which is my trigger time, I love a mug of herbal tea with a splash of milk. Most of the time though, after eating regular portions of food, we aren't physically hungry, our appetites are. It's the control of our appetites that we have to mentally deal with. Some people with distract themselves with other activities, others will try to analyze why they want to eat, for me, I just had to not focus on it. The more I focus on my appetite, the more I think of food and we know where that will lead us, back into the kitchen and I don't have time for that. I found that I LOVE books. Getting wrapped up in a good book at the end of the night kept my focus on the storyline instead of my appetite.
Today I was thinking about the foods we eat when trying to loose weight. All previous success in weight loss was because I following a certain plan, a certain way of eating. Eating certain foods, measuring, weighing. The thought of putting forth this much effort this time was tiring. I have 4 kids. I home school these kids. I have church responsibilities that take time. I AM BUSY! Most people are!! I do not have time to put a lot of time and thought into what I am going to eat, which is why I have a weight problem! This time, I knew measuring, following a specific plan and eating specific foods wouldn't work for me this time. I had two choices, either find a way to make it simple OR accept the fact that I was a plus sized individual and be happy with it. Option two was way to exhausting to accept! The idea I had was to keep eating regular food. Unfortunately, foods with the least amount of processing tend to have the most fat and calories, but on the plus side, they also have real ingredients. Pick up a jar of regular mayonnaise. Read the ingredients and you will recognize what is used to make the stuff; oil, eggs, vinegar, salt...things you could pull from the cupboard and make yourself-if you had the time! Now pick up some fat free mayo and look at the difference in ingredients-looks like it was made in a lab! We live during a time where we are taught that if we are going to loose weight, we have to eat fat-free, sugar-free, carb-free, to be successful. This time, I decided to prove them wrong--at least I had hoped!
When I decided to start paying attention to what I was eating, I decided to by all means reduce or eliminate some of foods that have no nutrients for our bodies. Ice cream, cake, brownies... (Chocolate is good for the soul so that isn't one I was going to cut out, but I certainly needed to reduce the amount I consumed!) Changing the way I cook so that I can loose weight in a manner that my kids will still eat is quite a time challenge as well as a budget challenge as well. Who has time to cook multiple dinners or money to buy fancy specialty foods so you can make a meal taste better than it really is? I remember cooking items when I did WW that had ooodles of ingredients so that the food would have the same taste and texture as the full fat version. This is fine if you have tons of time, but who has that when the full fat version only had a few, common, household ingredients and was guaranteed to be yummy? The only solution I could find was asked in a question, what if I just eat the foods I cook already, that the family likes and just eat smaller amounts? So that is what I have been doing. We make strogganoff with full fat cream of mushroom and sour cream, bean burritos with real cheese, casseroles full of potatoes, cheese and sauce. I just eat a portion and then fill up on salad that has olive oil and vinegar on it or some other vegetable. The fat is what fills us up and good fat helps our body have healthy skin, shiny hair and strong brains, not to mention helps us utilize the fat soluble vitamins A,D, E & K.
So in summary, make sure you are cooking foods that are full of real foods, get rid of that chemical "diet" food. Find recipes that are easy to make and that your family enjoys because that will make your life simple. When you go out, don't be stressed about what you are going to eat, just eat a portion of whatever is being served. If you are going out, where portions are typically bigger, eat half of what you are served and save the rest for the next day or share with another. At home, eat a portion of whatever you make and add a vegetable. Sometimes, you might not be full, but you won't be hungry. Physically, it doesn't take a lot to kill the hunger pains and if you are hungry again in a few hours, have an ounce of your favorite nut and some water. In the evenings, which is my trigger time, I love a mug of herbal tea with a splash of milk. Most of the time though, after eating regular portions of food, we aren't physically hungry, our appetites are. It's the control of our appetites that we have to mentally deal with. Some people with distract themselves with other activities, others will try to analyze why they want to eat, for me, I just had to not focus on it. The more I focus on my appetite, the more I think of food and we know where that will lead us, back into the kitchen and I don't have time for that. I found that I LOVE books. Getting wrapped up in a good book at the end of the night kept my focus on the storyline instead of my appetite.
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