Feel what you feel

This post was inspired by someone I don't even know. They're a friend of a cousin, who I don't even think reads this blog. But I had to get these thoughts down somewhere.

In today's world, I think sometimes we're made to feel like what we feel isn't valid. Or right. Or that it's selfish to feel what we feel.

This is something I strongly disagree with.

I may not agree with how you feel. I may wholeheartedly disagree with how you feel. But that does not mean I think you shouldn't feel that way.

You deserve to feel all your feelings.


My cousin made a comment on Facebook about not looking forward to the pain of labor.

I think that's a valid feeling.

However, one of the comments she got was that she should just be grateful to be able to go through labor because some women can't or don't get to.

First, let me state that I am not saying this woman is wrong.
We should be grateful, those of us who can and get to have children.
We should cherish that role and responsibility.

But,

That does not mean that we don't get to be scared.

That does not mean that I don't get to feel frustrated at my child when he just won't sleep.

That does not mean I shouldn't feel like locking myself in the bathroom for a few minutes just so I can have two minutes of privacy.

That does not mean that I don't have the same right to complain when my body is sore and achy and stretched beyond what I think it should do.


I feel for this woman.

I know how this woman feels.

For a year, I lived that mentality.
Every month causing me to wonder if my body was broken.
Every month wondering why every other woman I saw had a baby and I didn't.

I'm a lucky one.
I got to finally have my baby.


But I think we need to let those around us feel what they feel

As women we need to lift each other up and stop shaming each other into silence.

Good Mom Day

Today I made my son laugh. A lot.

We played and wrestled on the floor.

We chased each other around the house and he giggled every time I said "I'm gonna getcha!"

I tickled him and he "surprised" me from behind.

He drooled all down my neck.


I put aside the projects that need to be finished.

I paused the shows.

I put down the books that I wanted to read.

The sink is full of dirty dishes and the dishwasher still needs to be unloaded.


It was a Good Mom Day.

And I needed to feel like a good mom.

Parking

You know how in front of some stores they have parking for expectant mothers?
I totally get that. It's so uncomfortable, especially towards the end.
Your feet hurt, your back hurts. You feel huge.

But I want to know where's the parking for new moms?
The mom who has to carry in a ten pound carrier plus a ten pound baby.
Or the mom with a 25 pound toddler who she doesn't want to let walk in the parking lot?

But then I guess the whole parking lot would be reserved for moms.

One of "Those Days"

I believe that as mothers, God gives us "those days".

They don't come as often as we'd like, but they do come.

Today has been one of those days.

Here's the back story:

The week before we moved was the time change. This threw my baby for a loop.

Bedtime was way off, though it did make waking up at 7:30 instead of 6:30. Nice.

Add to that the fact that mom and dad were out at our new house trying to get it ready to move in. So grandma was watching him at night and putting him down. Totally not his usual routine. I figured we'd fix it when we moved.

Then we moved (!) He got put in his own room, with a crib for the first time. He quickly learned how to pull himself up and shake said crib. And he couldn't get down. So again, naps all messed up, and bedtime taking much longer than usual.

After a few days he adjusted, but then he turned one (!) This meant the start of loads of sugar. And whole milk, which took his little body a few days to adjust to.

Mix in there a few nights of just not being home at bedtime, which means falling asleep in the car and then wanting to play when we get home instead of going back to bed, and short nap times all over the place.

This all leads to mommy having a break down on Saturday because baby is not sleeping and I'm too tired to deal with it and finally daddy forces mommy to take a nap too.

We finally resolved to spend this whole week just trying to get his bed time back to a normal time and hope that this would fix his naps and make our days go a little bit smoother.

Today my baby has gone done for both naps, without a peep. Not one sound. It has been almost a month since that happened. And he's slept for a good long time. It's just the break that I needed.

I know I was given this day so I would have the energy and belief to go on being a mom. Even when I don't think I do a very good job. At least for today, he slept.

My problem with "The Bachelor"

I don't know how I even got roped into watching The Bachelor.

I never had before. I was never interested.

But it was on one night and I got sucked in.

Now, I don't have a problem with the bachelor himself.

At least this one. He seems nice and genuine.

And if those girls want to put themselves in that situation, that's fine for them.

But here's my problem:

The kissing.

It would really, really, REALLY bother me.

When I was dating, that was one main rule.

If I'm kissing you, you're not kissing anyone else.

Otherwise, no more of these lips.

I asked Brian if he would have even noticed me.

If we had met on a show like that.

He said yes.

What else is he supposed to say?

But I believe him.

Because I would have noticed him.

I noticed him when I was dating someone else in high school.

And I'm so glad I did.