Perhaps.. there are too many perhaps.
Feel so vex when ever i have to handle woman especially those difficult ones. I hated they way woman handle things sometimes it can be so disgusting and morally violating situation. I hate my own life.
To be frank, I have lost every single faith towards my life. i have lost every single love and confidence in this life. I have chosen to give up everything right here in Singapore where i, perhaps, had once intended to call home. There is no more family members for me, I am just merely an orphan. and my current family is an adopted one.
The thought of adoption suits me perfectly, because nobody in the roof knows what i have been going through. Nobody knows how much i was hurt and how much i had despised my own life in my on tiny way.
I wish i could forget the kind of life i have in my secondary school years. The tough 4 years and those erratic character building i had inherit. Perhaps that was my deepest moment in my own teenage life, in which i had manage to pull myself out of the depression. Learning along the way, discovering myself on every little detail. But now, it just a mockery to my own journey in big ways.
I am different, I don't believe in following the crowd, neither do i believe in giving in to peer pressure. I like being who i am, i like to have "ME" time. I like to have this solidarity time. Even it takes weeks or months, but i know i need it no matter what. I like to give myself time to heal my own wound and to give myself own space to think before a brand new me reborn.
Neither do i seek the world for forgiveness for my weird and strange character. For i am, who i am. This is a crime as a person and a moral violation?
I am in doubt. I don't know what i have become. Sometimes, maybe it is better for this adopted child not to be born or even raise in this world.
this adopted child does not belong to this world anyway.
