311th - The Finale

Good ol' Blog which have been with me since year one of Polytechnic. It's been long lots of happy, sad, angry and many other emo post.

This is the 311 post and final post at blogger. Will be shifting over to wordpress already. It's a brand new start lots of memories would be penned down, Blur-Chap shall be reborn into BlurredShadow

Catch me at http://blurredshadow.wordpress.com/ relink me too haha

Awesome frens

Finally have time to blog. Just finish my first exam audit2 and have 3 more to go before my short 1 week break and commencement of attachment. Yet to know my company though and the anciety to know is simply killing me....

Speaking of audit2 paper was rather manageable and it's just whether my answers are well elaborated or not. Oh well heck care that's one down shall not think about it and focus on tax2 next gotta work hard for it... having 2 of your weakest module 1 after another means you have to work double the hardwork to study for both especially Tax2 and Claw needs lots of intensive reading.

Shall wind the clock back abit to wed was in a rather bad mood after stress from studying and some personal stuff... Elvin and Keith are such good frens with one call they are willing to hang out with me for the night and we simply just played Team Fortress 2 for 2 hours and that really bring my mood up until today. (my mood is still quite good though) All those killings really vent everything out and this is the first time my spy did so well and actually the 4th on the team la, ok I'm abit sadist to kill people and vent my stress.

Having such friends are really great and for them I'm willing to sacrifice my time for them if they needed someone during the lowest moments too as they have done so for me. It's great to have such awesome friends =D

圍牆

围墙 by 李玖哲

Quite fond of this song recently enjoy =D

UP UP and AWAY

Watch Up with my brothers ytd quite a inspiring movie.

I beginning to like pixar movie although they often start with smth out of the plot to give the audience a kick start.

The Main Movie was well made everyth from plot to the flow of story is well done. It shows how strong the bond between the Fredricksen couples is. It's the kind of relationship which I look forward to, just loving someone for life and hope to receive the same thing in return.

Yupz but what's love it's still an undefined word on my dictionary I've yet to find out what is it. Been getting all sorts of definition from difference people, I guess diff people have diff expectations and meaning to the word love.

I've yet to touch my notes today =/ was like napping my day away after tonning last nite ><

/edit

omg this is funny. my father "lost" his specs and is searching high and low for it only to find out he kept it in the refrigerator when he is keeping apples ytd. My whole family was laughing out loud LOL !

Gatherings

Lots of things to plan and most of them are unconfirmed yet.

Here's the list and if you happen to pop by and notice do drop me a msg on msn and tell me which DATES you are free if you're interested from 29th aug to 5th Sept !!

- St Gab NPCC 05/06 NCOs Gathering

- Sing K with Ms Ong (CL) [however this is still on pending yet to contact her]

So far there's 2 meetups any futhur add-on do tell me =D

The outings shall be my motivation to study haha

Brain food

Foods for Thoughts

Was talking to my friend and I happen to voice out my opinion

- people often overestimate themself and end up being too proud.

However I got rebutted back

- but sometimes people underestimate themselves and end up not doing.

How do you balance it out? Both have their cons.

How do you measure your own capabilities and make the right judgement if you are able to accomplish that certain task?

oh just notice for 2 post in a row my title is related to food haha.

Desserts

Exams and projects leave us with nothing but fatigue at the end of the day. I can see most of my friends stressed up from chionging project or mugging for exams.

A quote which I thought of today: If you're feeling stressed. Try looking at it from another angle, you'll get desserts

Hence let us work hard for now and have fun at the end of everything. just 15 more days to FREEDOM ! Press on~

水

I swear smth is definitely wrong with the school water cooler near LT 28. The water was pale white and is bubbling as though it is sprite.

Should not have even taken a mouth of it... And indeed after drinking that mouth I'm having bad stomach ache. OUCH!

Ok I'm quite relieved that I'll be working outside of schol for attachment hoping for the best to get the company I want

SG Idol

I'm actually enjoying SG Idol Premier despite I don't listen to English songs much.

It must really take a lot of courage out of all the contestants to go for the audition and having their audition broad casted on TV. I was actually quite impressed by some of the singers, I'll catch the next SG Idol on wednesday :)

家

Went to Clarke Home Club just now to visit Peishan as she set up a stall there.

Met Jeff coincidentally earlier than planned time went I was wandering around Central and went to hunt for place to eat and also find out how to go to Home Club.

We ended up kinda lost as we walk for 30 mins in search for Home Club and decided to go back to MRT and check out the map. Met Jin Kang oso and then decided to try once more to search for the place and end up finding out we had been heading opposite direction from the Home Club...

Eventually reach the place and chatted with Peishan awhile before heading back to Central to meet Suern for dinner at waraku curry house. It's abit disappointing la the curry suppose to had ordered the spiciest available curry but end up it was no where near what I expected it to be....

After that decided to walk back to Home Club as we are all quite full where we chatted awhile more before hunting for a place to drink and Suern left us. We settled on Marrakesh a morrocan pub after walking around for 30mins. Jeff ordered Long Island. they chosed for me a drink called "I love you, You love me" smth lidat can't really rmb the title and Jin Kang ordered Tequila Sunrise which tasted quite fruity. Apparently mine seems to be the strongest out of the 3... oh well finished it anyway.

Jin Kang was quite interesting his face was kinda red after the drinking haha. I seriously wish to find out my limits for drinking but it would be too ex to test it out in a bar....

No idea whatelse to blog le dam tired and my leader did not feedback to me anything regarding project I guess it's time to crash on the bed soon.

So here I am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe

Internship...

Horror Struck !

Just got my email on attachement I shall let the picture do the talking

Notice the company name column? NP (school of BA)

argh!! am i even able to touch audit in sch? dam sad sia... this means makan place for the rest of my years in Poly ~.~ sad sad...

on the bright side I'm paid....

Flyer !

Today was such a long and tiring day BUT it was fun !

Met up with commers (Suern, Ernie, Hong Wei, Debbie, Kit, Jean, Bobby, Hwee San and Ronald) today at esplanade for Singapore Flyer.

Seriusly today dinner eat too much ! originally tot having dinner at 8 then i ate a plate of carrot cake at Makansutra who knows before they take the flyer they went to eat again at Popeye argh til now stomache still quite bloated...

Singapore Flyer was great the sceneries just that certain parts of around it is still under construction hence does not really look fantastic. I think today is 1 of the days I took alot of photos I guess I'm slowly breaking out of my shell already.

I'm so tired and drain now altho I'm home gotta rush Audit project already before I could sleep.

Doubts

The only way to remove doubt is to trust more. But how do you trust if you have doubt?

I think I've been reading too much into people action, infact thinking too much. I'm doubting my fren, fear of being stabbed at the back without knowing. Can't figure out why either it's been tormenting me for days perhaps even weeks.

I'm not emo for heaven sake. Definitely not. I'm more of close to confused as I have thousands of possibilities in my mind right now not knowing which might be true.

If you are given a wish what would it be?

友

I'm just glad perhaps I'm lucky whenever I feel down there'll be a blog post by a friend which would provide me with some comfort or advise. I have no idea if it is intentional or not but ya I felt lucky to have such friends out there.

I'll stay strong in fact it is a must. I shall not allow myself collapse because of a setback, I'll be reborn from the ashes to be a better person. Enough of all this time to put everything aside and focus on studies.

It's great to have friends. Thanks guys

BANG !

BANG Recruitment/Registration had finally come to an end. Simply awesome that I get to end my last performance this way (I hope not though, wish to be able to come back for stagewerkz).

Was the camera man today at least part of it. Really quite fun to be a camera man, you get to see diff expression taken and the way diff angles can be so diff photography is really quite interesting. (Also when you hold on to the camera means 1 less camera to take you =X)

Yes indeed natural shots are the best, perhaps I should invest on a digicam soon

Oya as for BANG although the registration at student plaza has ended but do not worry as there is still alternative to sign up for BANG

You can email us your information with what's your talent at np.bacomm@gmail.com or for more information check this out: BANGatNgeeAnn.blogspot.com

BeSeenBeHeardBePartOfUs

WoW ! BANG

Check this out !!!

BA Entertainment Galore (BANG) brought to you by BA_COMMunication :)

If you're from School of BA and you have good in something like dancing, beat boxing or any other talent and does not have a platform to showcase it? Join BANG where we give you a chance to perform and show what you have.

Registration

Date: 29th to 31st July

Time: 9am to 6pm

Venue: Student Plaza.

Don't hesitate and join us if you have what it takes. BANG!

凤

Like the phoenix, I shall be reborn again from the ashes

歌

Thinking if I should/can sign up for BANG... attachement next sem I fear I might not be able to commit when I had no idea when is the actual event held. Dilemae....

4 songs in mind already, might need someone help me decide if I was to signup

- 痊愈 by 张智成

- 全世界都停电 by Tank

- 低调 & 沉默的瞬间 by 张栋梁

ahhhhh should I sign up or not... I don't wish to break promise and not turn up if I was to signup

兴

Went out with my close buddies, Ricky, Keith, Elvin, Duane and Sandra ytd for dinner @ Astons. The food is great not my first time in fact my 5th time but can't get sick of the food. Had double up (black pepper chicken and crispy fried chicken) with fries and tasty rice. It taste great i'm so satisfied XD.

Then went arcade awhile did not play tho watch them played, not really a gamer now the interest for arcade is like reduced to almoz none. Gosh almoz no topic to tok to them le...

Anyway wanted to tag photos for hong wei juz now then I realised... I can't really tag any1 when I don't have them on my friend list... bah...

tiring week ahead lots of things to do... time to get started wif my researches or i'll be screwed.

厌

Just had a short chat with Ricky he enlightened me about certain things which I could nvr expected...

I did not know that I'm so insensitive to things and I'm actually a nuisance. I'm sorry if I had caused you to feel uneasy, I'll take note of my actions...

I want to learn how to be a mood setter in a group. That shall be my goal.

/edit

Note: the you in 2nd line is not Ricky...

演

Went for First Step Bazaar today @ Kovan hub, just a 5 to 10 mins walk away from my house so decided to pop by and take a look. The act was great and I hope I did not spoil the video wif my trembling hands arm is aching after prolong holding of camera...

Later on went arcade and bowling with some of them: Jeff, Peishan, Hazm, Zul, Eileen, Ivan, Jin Kang, Tao lian, Hong Wei, Jessica, Rubin, Hui Ying, Raymond and Ronald (hope i did not miss out any1).

Was forced to do the dancing game and yes i know i'm very stiff... it's tyco that i actually pass the stage...

As for bowling the end result is Ronald who won with 109 points and total strike made by them is 4 (Jeff, Hazm, Tao Lian and Eileen)

Then we went over to Hougang Central to have dinner, Matherine joined us and Jeff, Zul and Raymond went home. The entire journey was quite fun la had abit of laugh when they played with Jessica's sister on the way.

I was abit offended during dinner tho when I'm suppose to pay, I duno if I'm rude but when i asked if we can pay individually... I got rebutted back by the guy: can i say no? I seriously wish to give the wtf face la...

After dinner we splitted path and went home.

Overall it was quite a fun day la :)

能

Often I feel kinda useless, I have to find out what's going on from my frens and even when I know what's going on I can't do a shit about it.

I fear I lose frenship i chosed to be ambiguous, i just wish i can do smth more.

眼

Abit surprise to see Ian's sms this morning asking if I'm alrite. I can't really say I am as I still holding on to it, yes still not letting go. Not that I believe something would happen, neither a miracle but I do not wish to live with regrets.

One of his sms says: Things always gets better in the end, they always do :) sometimes you don't see it, sometimes you do. But you gotta be open to it, open to opportunities and chances :)

After this sms I nvr replied him. Am I not opening up to people? Am I not giving myself any chance to get in touch with this world and know more people? I do not wish to just find a replacement or smth and get settled somewhere, it's not something that easy to replaced when currently there's smth of high standing to me.

I'm not gona give up but I fear I do nothing about it too. It's intimidating just being around her. Maybe another fren's words is right what would have come to even if miracle was to happen, will it last? Gonna lose sleep again more pondering to do.

羽

Went wif PeiShan, Ivan, Xing Xian and Jeff to play badminton today and Angela, TyTy and Kit joined us later on. Not supposed to play initially, was sick and rather crappy with badminton but got ask to join in so ya went to played for an hr. My serving seriously sux... and might nid to work on it if there's still chance to play.

Badminton is not a sport for guys when played commers, Kintama is forever at risk but lucky the warfare usually happens at the right side of the court.

Went for Create workshop. Teaching is nvr easy I guess, haha you did quite well la Xing Xian at least i know a few functions of Photoshop but yet to test it out unless I can install it successfully.

I felt so =/ now when I found out smth and I felt dam bad bout it... argh.

失

Being sick really sucks especially during this period of H1N1... dam scary to fall sick... my temperature ytd shot up to 38.9 degrees when i got home after IS totally freaked out.

I was lucky that i get to escape from WISP presentation ytd becoz i had no voice but tmr there's bcomm3 ! omg can't escape le.

Oya i just lost like 20 ML worth of blood from having 3 nose bleeds in a day.... blood flowing out like free 1 sia... 1 of my shirt is drenched in blood =/

I wan my voice back by tmr :(

Man down...

The feeling of being sick sux... especially when you got lots of things to do, i dun wish to miss tmr wisp presentation... put in quite abit of effort in incorporating a skid into the presentation. I dun wish to miss it ~!

Just spent 36 bucks on medicines.... and it is making me so drowsy that i can't focus on my work at all... I wan to sleep ~!

劝

There's so much I would like to say, so much I'll want to do and really felt like letting it go but I feel so tied down to it, it seems like a chain forever bound to me.

Thanks for listening to my problems and I'm sorry for not taking advice again... I feel dam stressed up it seems that the only scenario I am left with is to just give up hope on it... I'm just too stubborn to listen to advice sorry.

衣

Went shopping with Ricky and Keith today. Keith appears quite bored, sorry dude took quite long to select the shirts. Today was quite fruitful, bought 2 shirts and 1 polo-T altho it kinda cost me a bomb *ouch*. Gona go for 2nd round of shopping for jeans and some T-shirts next wkend again any1 keen to accompany me?

Then went to arcade with Ricky and Keith where I took a short nap as Ricky plays Taiko drum and some street fighter kind of arcade game. Arcade games seriously isn't smth I'll enjoy but ya seeing Ricky impressing people is kinda interesting.

Lots of work to do... sigh... wrong choice to go out today oso. tmr gona be so bz.... having to chiong both AOW and Audit proj.

沉默的瞬間

沉默的瞬間 - 张栋梁



还搞不懂 心痛是什么
似懂非懂成云朵
爱得汹涌 来不及闪躲
我却为她坠落

梦里我泪滑落几回
心软弱了 逃避是非
潜意识 我心碎
梦醒了我张开双臂
只愿为爱勇敢一点 不后退

*chorus*
有谁会在乎 有谁会想念
有谁能 看穿我的笑脸
沉默的瞬间
寂寞却伴着我长眠
你走的坚决 枯竭了爱恋 我给的一切

梦里我 我的泪滑落几回
心软弱 软弱了 逃避是非
潜意识 我心碎
梦醒了 我醒了 张开双臂
只愿为爱勇敢一点 不后退

有谁会在乎 有谁会想念
有谁能 看穿我的笑脸
沉默的瞬间
寂寞却伴着我长眠
你走的坚决 不后悔
有谁会在乎 有谁会想念
沉默的瞬间
寂寞却伴着我长眠
你走的坚决 枯竭了爱恋 我给的一切
爱得汹涌 来不及闪躲
我却为她坠落

朋

朋友-五虎将




Are we friends? Or am i just a tool? or even just a random passerby?

乱

My life is in a mess right now. Studies, friends, exams many many other things are totally screwed, messed up and I am losing all my drive for things. Perhaps I'm older now I think more compared to secondary school hence I felt dam depressed over certain things which in the past i would not even bother about it.

I got many things and I need someone to talk to, not that I don't have anyone i could trust but i just don't feel comfortable speaking to them about my problems. I also know fair well high chance even if i was to share and they give me suggestions I would turn a deaf ear on them, I'm just like talking for the sake of relieve myself which is not what I really want now.

Problems would just keep accumulating I got to do something about all of them soon, hope I can pull through this 2months and take a breather during attachement.

我的难过是如此低调 因为不想打扰
我在寂寞的墙角 努力的对自己好
你用微笑回报 朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调 傻子才会哭闹就算你发现也好
我想你一定会选择假装不知道
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

低调

低调 - 张栋梁

like this song alot

Day-Out

Went Jeff's place for Mah Jong ytd with Jeff, XX, Derek and PeiShan. BOOOO i paid 5 bucks of school fees to jeff and derek... only manage to win 2 games...

At least the concept of PeiShan's nails is 50% proven, she gona get purple nails soon so guys beware =X.

After Mah Jong, we went to eat at BK but derek got to go home to cut cake, it's his father's bdae if i am nvr remember wrongly. Had quite a fun chat there and somehow i was being "poked" by them a few times recently keep kena targeted by PeiShan and Jeff arghhh~

And pls i am not a stalker, i'm just being observant bout surrounding stuff maybe abit too much but i dun stalk...

Oya perhaps i should master the arts of rating people. Sounds fun to rate people and having my own set of criterior be it friends or other aspects haha might come in handy some day.

戏

Went for AOW project today then met up with xx, darren, sam and hong wei at lib. XX left for his project, the rest of us went to play board games.

Hong Wei seriously was the silent killer his guess was so dam accurate in the game spy alley and he manage to win 2 rounds la with 1 guess ko-ing darren and sam. Seriously he can go buy ToTo today 1 sia and darren was dam piss off (not literally) after hong wei keep guessing his identity XD.

Cluedo was fun too made the 1st guess and got it wrong arghzxzxzx hence have to leave the game... Darren won though.

Anybody wan play board games tmr???? contact me =D will be free after my projects.

CC5

Back from Comm Camp 5 on fri, have spend like my almost my entire week in sch. It was fun la with commers but sadly this might be the last event I'll be turning up for, perhaps a few meet ups here and there but attachement would keep me busy I guess in the next sem...

KaBamm was dam high la i am not a very high person is having so much problems keeping up with them... In fact instead of being a senior i get them excited bout camp it is the other way round... like lolers....

I'm still trying to adjust my bio-alarm back to normal been slping in for 2 days str8 til 1pm and sch i reopening like next wk... got to get back to normal orelse i gona suffer for morning lessons. not to mention i got lots of projects meetups during the last week of holidays.

Bonds of Melody

Sometimes I don't wish to admit it but it seems time can work wonders to bonds between people. Because of time spend together it strengthens the bond but if we are seperated for sometime bonds would go start to weaken and worst scenario lost.

It is so true at least for me, when I failed to notice importance of bonds be it friendship or family or other aspects of life until i lose them.

Oh well.... anyway Tiong Yeow wants to go sing and I'll be planning with him I guess~! Any1 from St Gabs interested? Sherman, Zheng Yih, Ricky, Kah meng etc etc etc? tell me on msn and it'll likely to be on Saturday, will be smsing some of you all soon and update you guys on it.

/edit
It's still affecting me alot whatever you say perhaps, the more I tried not to bother, the more it is affecting me.

影

"A shadow will become darker if the light gets stronger and it would make the white of the light standout'

Got this somewhere from a new manga series i am starting on: Kuroko no Basket. I kinda like the storyline being 1 guy who is absolutely invisible and not noticeable but able to use this trait as a weapon in basketball. Point Guards are cool roles in basketball mostly the decision makers in court and initiating attacks a position which I wish to be but haha i lack the talent to do so.

ES21 ended darn... i tot of seeing Sena no longer a chibi after few years time tho. oh well i got Kuroko to substitute ES21.

玩

Wooo exams had finally

Ytd I went out wif Jeff, Xing Xian, Boon Chin and Pei Shan ytd to Bugis. Matherine came but left 1/2 way after camwhoring at Bugis junction which I tried hard to escape from getting shoot but nonetheless i failed and was shot several times.

Supposedly should do my shopping ytd but due to budget constraints I though I should just get some suggestions from them and go look around some other day for cheaper alternatives. Roughly had in mind wat I am looking for oredi just nid to go look around more often and hunt for them.

Minds Cafe was hilarious and oh I lost everyth except for 1 game but i didn't win that game either. Was being the sole bastard in the game of i'm the boss haha i go around countering every1 end up I lost the game wooooo but it was fun la sending people away or using family card =D.

Ugly doll game was dam funny!! XX and Jeff was like shouting ugly ugly ugly over and over again... I was having stomach aches due to all the laugh.
(Interested to see the funny moments you can go view the videos Peishan posted on facebook)

Oh and Peishan's red nails is working again she ends up winning everyth at minds cafe... silent killer I tot Jeff would win la.

Crazy day it's been sometime since i had some fun.

Oh there's smth i must mention XX says he's is 10cm haha.

(no idea how to name this post)

Exams is about to end yes around 18 hrs time, i can feel it freedom is round the corner but also it means it is time for more work to be done. Projects~

oh well...

My life sort of is getting back in place, no more pretence or whatsoever, i'm me now.
hehex, i want to remain happy and i want to change so i can blend instead of just being by the side as audience. It gona take abit of effort to twik myself but yes i'll do it for this a change that'll benefit me.

Anyway.... i mite be changing url soon as i mite wan no want to use blogger anymore time for a whole new beginning. Perhaps wordpress would be cool, gotta join Ian in thinking of a new URL hehex.

毒

*click to enlarge and view what they say*

swee sin and suern pawned my IE with their discussion on sanitiser.... ownage... my FB and IE is so clean now!!!

睡

I felt so much like a pig ytd nite i did not expect myself to sleep more than 12 hrs since i entered poly. I reach home after exams i took an hr nap before dinner then slept from all the way til this morning 9am, approx 15 hrs of sleep. OMG and the thing is i can juz fall flat on my bed anytime and sleep again.

Gona nid some push-ups and let the blood gush to my brain orelse i mite sleep my day through w/o studying

蜕变

Should be doing my my final revision but oh well i am sick of reading the notes again and again... More or less know what i need to know le.

I've been thinking of the past 3 or 4 years back whereby i am still in secondary sch, where i'm still part of being NPCC. Saw a video ytd by the fancy drill team but i am not in it my drills are not as outstanding as the 12 which participated in the competition. I used to find it so cool la (still finding it cool now) to do fancy drills is like making dull footdrills and rifle drills so interesting.

My memories seems to be lost at parts of it though I dun really rmb certain things which we had done tgt. Perhaps i got selective memories coz i did something real bad last time which i can't seems to rmb neither could i amend it now. Time repeats itself again and it happened once more although in a difference way but still i piss off another fren.

Ian have 1 post which says 4 stages to be a better person: Realization, Innovation, Elevation, Evolution.

I am forever in the realization part, i know there is a problem in me but i chose not to do anyth bout it. Time to work my way through the 4 stages, i know my faults and flaw i need the change to be better.

雨

I beginning to like the rain alot, not only it cools of the freaking hot weather but also cool me off. It's amusing having the window open for rainy weather when the rain is like splashing in and my laptop mite kena or smth.

But i feel peaceful looking at the rain everyth is so solemn except the sound made when the rain drops came in contact with walls. It sort of washes all my troubles and problems, and after the rain if i am lucky i might see a rainbow or smth haha.

Life is like that rite? u face lots of problems but at the end of it u gain something from it, be it problem solved happy ending or u failed miserably but u gain experience and level up in life.

Time had stopped since 1 year+ ago when I got myself tangled in it.

And yes i am back to square 1 of my problems. haha forever stuck there like i am lost in a maze and just going round and round.

ANYWAY!
Anyone wan go shopping on saturday? I'll need to feed my wardrobe with some new clothes, kinda sick of the few T-shirts which i am wearing all the time. Tell me on msn if you are interested :)

Random.

I'm left with like 20 mins before AFA tutorial and was too sian to study for my exams.

Feeling dam crap today I sense sickness coming again, having a bad headache since morning must be the killer weather this few days and late nights which I am having this few days.

I can hardly think properly now argh headache.

So like Tank's new song ( i think is new song rite): 如果我變成回憶. The reason for writing this song is quite sad la seriously having to go a pacemaker in his heart at such age and he might just collapse anytime. It's like death is knocking on your door and you might just leave this world in your sleep.

To all my friends who are sick get well soon and drink more water, take care guys.

乐

Went for Klavierensemble Concert yesterday, 1st time ever been to a concert and has definitely enjoyed myself. The Musical was quite funny and the songs played was great and awesome bah i still wish to learn guitar but just lack the talent =/

Went KAP later on but never ate, partially no mood to and also not hungry but then had some fun though playing cards and XX is like shuffling all the way haha.

Shall end this post with a quiz i took in fb which i think is rather true?

Your Life : You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.

Your Love : You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same girl over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children.

Ya 2 main points which i think really is true. What you guys say? is it true bout me? hahaha. I guess most people really don't understand me that well too.

I shall remain in the shadows awaiting for the final episode to come.

原

I was up almost whole night? I privated my blog for myself to read only as i read through most of the post which i had posted and see how my world in the past is.

This is not an emo post definitely i got over everything maybe not 100% but the bulk of it yes.

I still like my quiet life best.

Lost

The meaning is clear.

What's done can't be undone, you had been a great friend just that i didn't learn to appreciate your help.

I'll just wan to say thanks for everyth.

To-do-list

To-do-List
- Audit Elearning
- AFA Elearning
- Claw Elearning
- Bcomm sales scenario
- AOW Games generation (raw ideas)

Omg i did none the elearnings yet, can die sia... so much stuff to do...

变

Qingfu is currently searching for a new personality and a whole new outlook (if possible). I wan a nice change be it small or big. Current me is too boring

i nid some1 to teach me how to style hair lol.

Brothers

Didn't get to blog the entire day, been rushing WISP and slacking off with some mini games in FaceBook.

Shall keep this short since i still got stuff to do.

Met Tiong Yeow a 10.45 for "breakfast" at macs but he waited for lunch meals instead... weird guy ask me out for breakfast but had lunch instead. We walk around abit before we part and i met up wif Kei and Elv to go J8 then Orchard to buy my stuff.

Spent some time at Epicentre and finally for my IPOD NANO (Black)! yayness

Then met up with Ricky and head back to Bishan and meet KM for dinner. haha i was making Ricky feel dotz entire journey he is having flu and i am saying lame/cold jokes. Sorry Ricky haha. Anyway Ricky i really quitted online games so wun go back maple :P

After that i went home 1st to config my Ipod and went back to kei house to meet the rest. Played dai dee and see elvin and km "teach kei how to use scout" in TF2 hilarious haha

Really great to be able to meet my brothers they are all great people.

Been sometimes since i go read blogs shall do it soon. Time to rush WISP

危

A quote from my old fren Ian's blog.

“To live is to risk dying.
To do is to risk failure.
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To cry is to risk appearing soft and sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement or rejection.
To place your ideas, dreams, and desires before people is to risk riducule.
The greatest omission in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing gets nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering, pain and sorrow, but he does not learn, grow, live, or love.
He is only a slave – chained by safety – locked away by fear.
Only a person who is willing to risk, not knowing the results, is alive.”

whenever i have problem i would turn to Ian's blog. His blog is alays inspiring

Words are just mere words unless I do something about it. Currently i am escaping problem, fear the pain which would come forth if i ever give it a try. This past few weeks i had done nth but neglecting friends and indulge in my own problems isolating myself from the world. I wan to break out of my comfort zone and give it a try but fear is holding me back.

Words are cheap because i am saying them.

友

Excluding the post before this it has been 1 week+ since I last blogged. The past few days I had been doing nth but whining to friends, procrastinating non-stop and lots of thinking which is getting me no where.

Each conclusion I made will be rebutted by another conclusion from another thought. I know I should stop all this and start taking actions or it will get me no where. But there is just a hurdle which i just can't overcome - communications.

Being outspoken is 1 trait which i can't master and I do agree to a great extent that i am not putting effort. I always got this fear for talking to people that I am not so used to that I would be classified under introvert.

Through out this entire 1 week+ I really had disturbed many many people that are close and many of their words fall on deaf ears. I'll be on my own now not going to disturb anyone anymore.

Yes you guys are important to me too that's why it got me even more so emotional than before when I had those thoughts which I should not had. You guys had impacted my life so much that you made my years in poly extraordinary it is really great knowing you all. But I had caused you guys so much prolems that I am sick of being this sickening me infront of you all. Frens are great but if I am to be a pain to them i rather not had any to start with.

I had no idea who is still reading this blog. But I do hope whoever that's close to me are still reading. I apologise for everyth and thank you all for everything. Words are cheap yes I do agree but other than that I duno what else I can do.

Perhaps the simple life back then is more suitable for me. I just pray for the best to come in the future. I hope I'll be able to make a decision soon and reach another turning point in life.

Intermission

Not gona blog for some time until i sort out my thoughts. bye world

*edit*

i shall stop my reliance on friends and livejournal. Time to grow up and start to practice some control over my own emotions and make the right decisions myself.

Quiet?

I do admit i have a quiet nature but i can be chatty if i want to. To some friends i have grown to speak out more to them and precisely i treat them as close friends i tot i can be comfortable enough to initiate chats with them. But little do i know as i initiate chats it became an annoyance to them and was asked to dun disturb them.

Conclusion being? Is my approach wrong then how should i go about in improving? Or should i just return back to how i am being quiet and never to initiate chats with people anymore?

IS day.

Had IS today. Was rather inspired although it is something which i know but i always could not apply it. Today is regarding attitudes. Amazingly how attitudes can affect how we see things and i was kinda inpired by it sort of it gave me an awareness of being positive thinking.

I beginning to love this module. It is so sophisticated and yet it has no form, it can be applied in many situation and depending on how one use it.

WISP totally turn me off today. Didn't even want to listen to the lesson, i know it is part of the module but i dun really feel comfortable with the clips she shows although it is really happening in this world. One can say i am naive but i actually felt humans are unjust and crude in a way that we hold prejudice against people diff from us. Even if they are humans like us. I was very down la when i see the video, let me see the really dark side of humans behavior certain things which i dun see in my daily life is actually happening somewhere in this world.

i not trying to say i dun hold any stereotype or any prejudice against other people but killing, gore is just not my type of documentary or movie. haiz i feel so naive and childish to feel down for such historical videos.

Recruitment success!

Been sometime since i blogged has been slightly busy the past week due to BA_COMMunication recruitment drive. It was a success and i was quite impressed with the results and of cause how much they have improved over the days.

And i had performed again last week and a couple of my frens caught me performing sry i did really bad last week. I can still hear the rhythm of the songs i sang in my head despite i am suppose to forget bout it.

Anyway I was being said to be emo or sad bout smth but i am not la. juz that after event i would stone alot and it just become a habit of mine. I don't really enjoy crowd and i like to be quiet after events all those cheers are not really something i normally does. haha pardon me for outcasting myself from you guys everytime.

Looking back i feel time really flies so fast... it's like w/o any interest or what so ever i joined ba_comm and w/o knowing 1 year fly past and i was the exco. Finally now is like year 3 guiding the new batch of excos.Time seriously flies very fast wonder if after this sem when i go for my attachement would i get used to the days w/o ba_comm?

Shadow

Just a super random note.

"i feel like returning to my world of shadows"

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Omg had been tested by Peishan and Jeff for entire afternoon on what fuzzy wuzzy likes and dislike. took me ages to figure it out and when on the bus as i think and finally figured it out. i actually had been thinking on the wrong direction initially.

Haha fun day wif fuzzy wuzzy lolz.

Recruitment Drive 09~

BA_COMMunication Recruitment Drive

28th to 30th Apr

9am to 6pm

Student Plaza and Makan Place

If u require any infomation regarding BA_COMM u can find me on msn =D

Ba_comm gathering

Went out with 08/09 ba_comm excos today and had dinner at Astons. Hm had black pepper fish with fries and potato salad. Their potato salad is errrrr dam sour... i seriously hate sour food alot very sensitive to sour but still manage to finish it. Their fries is nice taste diff from normal fries la and their fish together with the sauce is uber nice!

Then i followed them to go walk around plaza sing and thn head to macs to chill out. Originally wanted to buy a cup of mc cafe but i had too much caffeine intake today so rather not =/.

I was very quiet today, exceptionally quiet despite on normally day i am already very quiet. I was deep in thoughts today and plus ytd i did not slp well at all. So i was in like power saver mode.

Argh nvr had much chance to practice my song today. nid to practice my song!!!

Sianzed~

Argh today really no mood go sch or even go out of house. Totally no mood!!!!
Shit but AFA lecture ltr must try to drag myself to school...

haiz.. i'm in need of some1 to tok to but there does not seems to be any1 i can confide with anymore...

痛

我觉得现在的自己真的日子过得好累好累。
我老是得戴着面具强颜欢笑。
沉重的步伐，虚脱的心灵
我不知我还能撑多久，内心的痛又有谁能了解呢？

I'm not emo or anyth i am just tired, very tired i hope i can return to my usual corner and stop with all this crap which i have caused for myself.

IS!!!

Juz finished my IS today. Had AOW and WISP, i seriously have a feeling AOW would be boring, it is not the module that's boring me but the tutor. I was quite attentive during the tutorial but the tutor is like reading from the slides which i can do myself...

We played 2 games. 1 quiz and 1 weird psychology stuff game. The quiz is killer with totally no background we are asked bout stuff in China... At least we are 1 of the 3 teams which draw for the 1st... (Note: there is only 4 teams)

We totally turn the tutor off in the 2nd game... We are suppose to play this psychology stuff which i shall not go into details... then we paka wif the opposing team and keep raising same hand and hence there is no winner between my team and opposing. Because the scores is the same. the tutor totally scraped this game -.-lll. we got this class activity which interest me like a mini investing game where by we can invest on diff currency and base on actual market we see if we make a profit or lost. sounds fun. invested in Euro, Yen, Gold and STI. dam cool.

WISP was plain boring for 1st lesson. didn't pay much attention to it. I predict i'll be going solo for the wisp projects altho out of pure coincidence i am with my frens in the same wisp class. But we got 6 and some1 definitely will be left out so ya. that's my prediction haha.

Got to practice my song or i am screwed for next wk

LOST...

Things are getting too obvious but is my target audience catching what i want to convey? i have absolutely no idea. And whether the audience accepts what i have to say is a big question mark i seriously wonder if my msg is being put across effectively and how should i go about in capturing the audience attention?

Anyway i was dam sad ytd... lost my ipod... i am sry my frens who had chipped in for the ipod. i did not take a gd care of it and lost it... Some fren i am...

Still sad bout the loss....

Choices...

Sometimes i hate the part of me being so indecisive... Life is full of decisions to be made and most of the times i am lost with what i really wan and could ponder for ages juz to make a choice.

Maybe it is a habit for me to always weigh the pros and cons before i go for the next step. And precisely of this pros and cons are always smth which i can foresee hence it is not really accurate- i fear that i might had overlook smth crucial an end up making the wrong choice.

This post is quite random. Just thought of smth and ya decided to write it in.

NS~

Argh my some of friends are going to enter NS again arghhhhhh life is gona be boring again w/o them. It's abit scary to see my frens go in like norm teens and after 1 mth all voice so deep and down on sore throat.

Gona face the same thing 1 year ltr gona get myself mentally and physicall prepared... Still feeling nua after the gym few days ago my physical condition is so cmi gotta buckup.

Updated~

Omg have not been blogging for the past 1 week or so... I have been busy and keeping myself occupied.

Had the exco camp during weekend. It was great the events, the ideas, their teamwork and all, sure brings back lots of memories of the past when i just started out as an exco. I am so looking forward to the finales gona be uber cool and of coz the final 4th event.

That's about all... will update again soon

Sick..

Getting sick sucks...
wasn't sick originally... just sensitive nose and started sneezing but somehow it results in a splitting headache and now i am coughing away like nobody business. I could barely open my left eye which is so dam itchy and painful after all the rubbing.

Haiz feeling so sick... gona lie down and rest awhile...

Apology

I'm really sorry to 2 friends of mine which tried to help me solve my prob but yet i vented on them. I don't know what's got into me, i'm losing myself and actually scolded my frens. I am seriously sorry and apologise. Perhaps both of you would not accept it and I knew i had been overboard and even scolded vulgar.

I'm still lost and could not make a decision.

I just wish that time can roll back so that i can redo everything again lead a new life and perhaps i wun be in such a mess like this.

Foul Mood

My mood seriously sux even 1 night of thinking could not help me clear up my thoughts. Decisions is always so tough to make, i could not differentiate between friends or foes and yes i do agree humans are selfish animals.

I have to split my character between work and friends i don't wish to show any weakness neither any negative emotions. I don't wish to affect people let alone lose friends.

I still go timetabling to do ltr and check up venue to eat. Have to cheer up soon

Tired

just back from jogging and i seriously nid do some training. I could not seem to last entire 6 rounds alone. Lack the motivation I nid someone to run with me~ some1 that can run fast so i cn at least feel the need to catch up to someone.

Been playing facebook game lately and slowly getting bored of mafia wars.... started mouse hunt ytd and hope it will be fun. Any other games to intro? lol.

Haircut

Argh everytime i cut my hair i will regret it... altho this time i not say very short. But it looks so weird... OMG... somemore got camp during wkend jia lat...

gona go get a cap so not used to this hair style

Exco interview

Just finished a busy weekend. Whooo exhausted. At least the exco interview is almost done and there would be a selection camp in the coming week end.

Omg i am still not being myself infront of gals -.- ok i shall admit this i am shy infront of gals la can't really tok =/

No idea what to blog but feel like writing smth so ya short post for today.

Gatherings

Today was super fun. Met up with a few Sec sch friends (Ricky, Sherman, Keith, Kah Meng, Tiong Yeow and Elvin) for steamboat and KTV as some of them is leaving for NS at the end of this week.

Steamboat was great gave it a 7/10 the tom yam soup base was nice and km was on a 金针菇 frenzy la... KTV was dam hyper i got Tiong Yeow as my partner haha we sang like tons of chinese songs and more than 1/2 of it is off key =/. Sherman was shouting instead of singing. OMG i tot only with ba_comm can get so hyped up nvr tot it will happen with my sec sch friends.

Seriously had so much fun today altho tired XD

比手划脚

OMG this is dam funny 1 - 44 = fuji mountain pure ownage.

Haiz

Sometimes i juz hate myself for having such low confidence and lacking the courage to do what i wan...

Haiz...

Changing is the only constant in life

Yep a 180 degrees change for me. Quitting dota and online games is like quite easy lol. i nvr touch any today and will continue that way i guess. Gaming isn't my life although my topic to talk about will be limited as there won't be games to discuss with friends about. But heck la.

As promised i am thinking of what to do for ba_comm mass gathering. Racking my head abit on this and since it would have to keep a big group occupied and i hope fo it to be a whole day thing. I gona need a solid plan which can interest people. I'll nid do brainstorming and help from my friends :).

Suggestions will be appreciated haha

Mood....

Went Cash Studios today with ba_comm seriously it was fun. i laughed quite abit today and the songs they chose is so high while mine is like so emo... =/ ok wrong choice of song i guess i nid listen to more hyped songs.

Anyway i decided to quite dota and yes seriously for now i will stop dota-ing. Initially the people in sec sch who invited me for dota is quite unhappy that i am inviting them everyday now. I tot dota is the bond between us since we started with dota and i played and improve as much as i can just to blend in to them. I guess time changes and they have all moved ahead of life while i am still living in the past thinking that gaming is the life for this group.

Since asking u guys to play is like forcing i will be quitting dota. Sorry for being so inconsiderate and inviting u everyday.

Plan Plan Plan

Holidays is here woots finally time out from everything. Gona "try" my best to find a job.

Speaking of which i got problem going to blogs and sort of the problem lies with cbox for some reason. Those using Cbox as tagboard the loading is slow and often the Cbox juz dun show... gona try again tmr...

Jeff has given me the honour to plan stuff for ba_comm and i am so gona pull him to join me... Pls tell me what you all want so i can do some plannings for it be it exco or ba_comm. This also applies to my other friends who want to meet up and lazy to plan -.-.

Pls tell give me a list of stuff you all want thanks and definitely jeff and xx will be joining me in planning XD.

To-do list

Yes the mood of holidays i can feel it, it is near so lok forward to fri can... anyone got plans for fri after 11am XD? can't w8 for fmgt paper gona start planning my to-do list

Things to do
- Catch of on Dota with my friends wooohoooo so miss the days of dota marathon but now muz control canot play too much oso.
- Gatherings with as many friends as possible.
- Find work (any1 got job lobang?)
- Get Ian out for coffee*
- Buy some weights
- To be continue... :)

Anyth on do tell me haha. I dun mind doing abit of planning too if i am free from work.

Random Post

Have been like studying since 7+ til now? and i am like wasting 5 mins of my precious time staring at garena deciding if i should take a 1hr break for dota... Still thinking hmmmm

Random thoughts

"When you sprint, your stamina won't last" i remember i heard something close to this during sec sch when i was training for 2.4km run.the PE teacher is saying like pace yourself so you can last the entire distant. Somehow i think this phrase applies to studies for me also... i chiong revision too early such thing now close to exam i am running out of motivation to study. Paper is done half-heartedly resulting everything is wrong... Seriously need push myself to go forward.

anyway met with some sec sch friends last week and apparently... they said i changed alot... Did not really bother finding out if it is good or bad change and 1 of them can barely recognise me... Did i really change so much in the past 2 years+ since i left sec sch? ya i do think i change interms of attitude i am slightly more chatty than before used to be super anti-social in sec sch and always keeping to myself.

Do tell me if the change is good or bad. If negative comments i do think i nid to change myself again.

FaceBook

Created Facebook with the intention of just playing the games inside but end up indulge in it somehow... Maybe because Jeff have been publicising it but i merely ask him how to play the games inside!

Still trying to find out how to use FaceBook figure out notes so far and wall thingy ok got to go back to studies ponder too long on FaceBook.

"Can You See It" by Ian

Just went to Ian's blog and saw this post look at it if you are single too. Although i am not christian but i believed in fate.

http://livingfacade.wordpress.com/2009/02/16/can-you-see-it/

I like the way he phrase it all. His post is always sophisticated yet easy to understand and meaningful.

Vday

Ytd is like no study day. Originally got no plans on Vday so the morning and afternoon is spent on playing games feel so "alive" for awhile since i could play dota etc for the entire day. Not much of a special day for me so i asked a few friends out did some catching up with them since they are singles too.

What a weird way of spending Vday eh? instead of dating we have 4 guys in a lan dating zombies (infested). After that went kei house to play "dang" (poker ver of mahjong) and dai dee. Drank like 1/2 a can of Tiger since i dun wan go home with the smell of beer.

Vday is seriously a boring day but since it is some occasion so must as well spend it with friends rite?

Games

Instead of spending my time playing and waste precious time which i can study i can use my lunch/dinner time to watch replay on games. Quite a kill 2 bird in 1 stone way, can observe how ppl work with each other in dota and also not eat into study time.

Just finished watching ian's replay and the difference is lvl of playing field is clear... my frens and i does not have the teamwork and skills.

Gona start chiong PFS liao orelse i gona be behind schedule.

Study plan

Gona test out a change in studying strategy i guess my old strategy i used in sec sch is not helping at all... so gona change it since i still yet to catch the momentum to study. Shall start on FMGT 1st as i think is the simplest out of all my exams and i hope to start my momentum there.

study plan
-> FMGT (by wed complete)
-> Audit (start on wed afternoon)
-> RFA (start on thurs after revision lecture)
-> MA (start on sunday)
-> restudy Audit as it is 1st paper (tues)
-> start past year qn complete at least 3 sets per day (wed)

shall try stick as close to the study plan as possible will re-edit this from time to time :)

Alone

Sometimes i just wish to gradually fade off from everyone's memory and just isolate myself in my room. How i wish i can go back to the time when i am all alone whereby i duno what loneliness is. Now that i have friends being alone brings emptiness and it bring changes to my life, not say is a bad change but i find that with different group of friends i am a different personality. If only there is a ctrl+Z function then perhaps i would be able to go back in time and find the real me.

What is the real me like behind the masks which i had worn infront of my friends? This is something even i do not know.

Saving VS Spending

Woah the money i had saved hard is like POOF! gone in just minutes. How hard it is to save but spending is like effortless.

Why does negative things (interms of slacking, spending or any aspects of life) happens so easily when the positive things (process of studying, savings or any thing that would benefit me) is like so difficult to accomplish. Man i need do some serious saving and cut my cost and also study for exams which is just round the corner.

study group

Went group studying today. Did not made much progress today. finish abit on MA at least the part which i brought out as i was rushing i left pricing decision and CPV chapter at home..

And i was abit late but however the rest was later.. so much for me running to mrt.. oh well i dun wan to develop the habit of being late and i prefer the good point of me being punctual :).

Happy + Sad

Ytd was my father's bdae bought him a cake only as i got no idea what to buy for him as a present. He was quite happy la and ya i not the mood bringer so i let my mother do the job of bringing out the cake and all. Happy bdae father~

ok next. Somehow humans have a nature of keeping things within them this apply to me too basically all the time. I ask my fren for a game of dota ytd on fone he sounds fine and all the old cheeky tone of voice. But i did not know he is troubled and feeling unhappy such friend i am eh? So much for understanding my frens so well goodness sake i need do something to cheer him up but how i got no idea what's the root of the problem.

studying outside ltr but still duno what to study 1st... -.-lll

Sick.

I am so sick. Having split headache and an inspired runner: nose. Sneezing non-stop had to control it when i am on bus or i will dam noisy... Met XX at bus-stop and took 52 tgt chat abit and starting going lame on the bus which i think he buay tahan me...
I feel so much like sec sch Ian are you reading this? haha i am going cold again.

EAA 30% test tmr ARGH! not say very prepared but well should be able to manage it :).

勇气

我回想这十八年我从来没拿出勇气过，去尝试做过任何能让人意想不到的事。我往往会顾虑到他人对自己的看法而注重自己的言行举止。

打个比方，在陌生人面前我往往会显得比较孤僻宁静，即使说话也得再三考虑是否恰当才敢开口。我常常好想改变自己，想和身边的朋友说话聊天但话仿佛哽在喉咙想说却说不出来，担心会说错话迎来反感。

我认为勇气来自自信，因为对于充满自信的人，他们会认为自己一定能办得到而敢于尝试。相较之下没信心的人会认为自己做不到而放弃。现在的我处于第二个例子但我希望不久的将来我能改变自己往的一个例子迈进。

sry for the bad chinese juz thought of writing something lidat after much thinking as i am on my way back.

Motion Sickness

Argh just reach school not long ago and i felt terrible. Having motion sickness (not sure if this is the right term but chinese is 晕车) due to the long jam i had on my way. lucky i went out of norm and left home early or i would be late for school. I am still feeling nauseatic and do not dare to buy any breakfast despite i am feeling dam hungry now.

Been ages since i had motion sickness used to had it due to long travels but it has stopped for awhile. Haiz this feeling sux... feel like puking argh~

Exams.

21st Feb - Audit 1
24th Feb - Regulatory Framework of Accounting
25th Feb - Management Accounting 1
27th Feb - Financial Management

Exams is round the corner and suppose to start studying today and i did infact start today. What is tested in common test i could understand them not a prob. But after the 3 wks break, whatever i learn looks alien to me as i look through them. This shows how much work i need to put in for the upcoming exams... gona start working hard and good luck to all my friends who is taking their exams.

Any study outings? Invite me if there is any i seriously canot study alone, could not focus...

Days with Friends

OMG i have been having fun for like 3 days straight and exams is just round the corner. I must practice some self-discipline and start my revision tmr and all fun ends today.

Anyway ytd went to kei's house again for some mini gathering consisting of elvin, kah meng, kei and me. Was playing PS2 justice league which was rather addictive and fun. Then played dai dee and some weird card game that is somehow like mah jong in poker ver and somehow it lasted all the way til 6am when we nvr even bet money. Guess the company of friends can make simple games fun and enjoyable. Today supposingly should go play Left 4 dead at 12pm but kah meng wanted it later so we played at 1.30... end up he slept through all the way until 3+ which we decided not to wait and went off to play by our own. 3 of us so 1 AI which is an asset at start but liability at the end... The AI is ruining our formation all the time when we are suppose to wait at rescue point... end up we did not complete even the 1st campaign... oh well it was fun tho and now i am at home trying hard to get some stuff into my head which i failed terribly as none of the notes is being digest and understood properly. Gona try harder now.

Good luck all for their Exams

thriple random

OMG i juz noticed i got nth planned for today. A saturday and chinese new year has yet to end and i nvr had any plans -.-? Gona think of something even if going out by myself at least btr than rotting at home...

Gona take my parents' advice dun gamble too much or i might get addicted, quite glad i lost for the 1st time i played mahjong the winning mood would sure start get me hooked to the game. I think i lack alot of self-discipline on that...

Gona start changing my character and try present more of the part of me which i presented in front of my lan clique. Somehow that is more me la yes shy and all but i can still go havoc which i always do with my clique haha. maybe bit by bit or people will start finding it weird.

ok this post is 3 post in 1 =/

Mahjong at Jeff's place

Today went to crash Tao Lian's class EAA as i dun wish to wait 2hrs for my own class. but it sux seriously the tutor doesn't stop to guide the students but juz keep moving on and on and on... Hence i was terribly lost so i decided to go read manga and heck care about the lesson...

1pm through Jeff's self-proclaim awesome directions i manage to reach Yew Tee MRT station at 1:50 and waited for Glenn and Peishan to reach before heading to Jeff's place. Once we reach we only rested for like 5mins before the games start and Peishan is like owning all the way... Abit too scary that her luck is just so good and keep getting a good start all the time. Seriously the entire day is dam funny because of jeff's bro and glenn who is like joking non-stop, i must keep holding back my laughter and concentrate on the game. Anyway if that game was to be counted i would have lost nearly 3 bucks before dinner. Ya quite inmaterial la 3 bucks but still she is the sole winner for that game la which rather impressive.

Dinner was fantastic Jeff's mum soup base was great also had a mini bbq at the side of the steamboat. I did eat ok although i am also doing the bbq. My hands are working so is my mouth i won't let myself starve so don't worry ^^.

After dinner begin 2nd round of game was doing quite well at start but then end up starting to lose money when some1 pat my shoulder (forget who but i think is xing xian). The result was instantaneous 1 pat and peishan pong the tile i throw. Don't really believe in such things but yes now i do i am a living example... at the end of it i lost $1.50 ok nvm not much so i'm cool with it. Whereas Peishan the mahjong queen manage to earn like $4 to $5 and Derek make a comeback from losing to earning $1

I seriously enjoyed myself today but i find that such mah jong session won't be able to bond us very well as juz 4 ppl per table. but steamboat is great i think ppl eating tgt can seriously chat alot and bond alot. This brings me back to how my sec sch clique is form tho. through lanning we started this clique. Perhaps through mah jong we can form a mah jong khakis and start getting closer from there XD.

Mahjong + Tsubasa

Gathering at Jeff's place on fri kinda look forward to it haha. First time having a casual outing for cca at some1's place and of coz abit of gambling going on la but not so much of it as i think likelihood i will lose. Hope the beginner luck theory works and i wun lose too much

anyway been asking around about how to play mah jong at least manage to get a rough idea of what is it like. thanks peishan and Leo for your help.

Gona practice abit during breaks to train up my mj skills.

Will be combining 2 post into 1 so i wun be over posting each day with many small post.
I find that Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles has alot of catchy phrases which i really want to use but however dun really apply to me and only 1 day has past and i am nearly done with what is there at onemanga. i can't wait for new chapter to release it is such a good manga la.

Boring CNY

I am super bored at home now... as usual my parents who likes crowd is hosting again. At least this year CNY is quieter than usual the kids are not here which they would every year and always attacking me from all sides... Gambled abit ytd had some luck there and won abit frm black jack quite cool haven't won since 3 years ago. Sort of the silent winner no1 knew i was the won the 2nd most and they are like shooting this little gal who pawnzor the entire game won $50+ how cool and she is like 13 this year.

Man i miss my frens but there are cracks which i could not mend or patch it up. abit sad that i had to let go and not being able to meet them anymore.

I am so bored now that i am re-reading my mangas.... right time to rot

Does eternity exist?

I'll continue to pursue
The wish for eternity
As long as it exist somewhere in this world

Found this in a manga find it rather catchy

Exco year

The last event is over. for the 1st 5mins of the closure i was like relieved everyth finally ended got the kind of "finally it is over" mood. but then after that memories hit me hard. I like to think ya and process what have been done after each event. But after motion is like i start thinking through right from Year 1 i got pulled in by Joel to go inaug. i nvr really signed up during recruitment, i know myself that time such things does not appeal to me and i am not a singer (that time they are having singing performance for recruitment). Joel is like sign up but dun wan go alone so he ask me go with him since i am free on the saturday i was like ok...


then somehow join inaug then joel ask me go comm camp also. it was fun la and i somehow joined stagewerkz 07 and performed at atrium, ltr on joined radio hosting (motion TV) and backstage crew for D-Day. Went for exco interview on 16th Mar and received a call on 18th mar that i was posted to logistics. I got serious doubt la about my capabilities but still moved on although hesitant. Had 1st exco meeting on 25th mar and started with plannings of event. Had exco camp on 5th apr whereby we go into details of planning with the guide of seniors and bonding games.

28th to 30th Apr: RD was the 1st test for us and had lots of setbacks and 1st time feeling so very discouraged in being exco where all responsibility is so heavy. Despite that Chu Hao gave me advice and encouraged me to move on not to say excos who are always there to pick me up when i fall.

10 May: Inauguration 1st time had to interact with members did badly there yes very i remember i don't even dare sit with them not to say speak to them. Like a wall between members and me this is the 2nd obstacle which discouraged me furthur.

11-13 June: Comm Camp 4. Was pat of games committee and logistics. i remember was seriously sick on day 0 and yes i know i should not push myself so much but i was reduce the work load especially when i never contribute much to comm camp. I was feeling bad everyone is like worrying about me but I understand myself that time i can still move on and yes i am stubborn. i also failed to interact wif members once again smth i still canot do til now haiz.

*shall not go in details of planning*

3-8 Nov: stagewerkz performance and finale. This period can say is the most stressful period for all of us excos. we been through thick and thin till this stage and nevertheless we manage to show our results and everything went well.

19th to 23d Jan: Motion TV the event that has just past last week. The very last event we had for our exco year. lots of memories as accumulated seriously speaking if i was to be given the chance to go back in time and chose again, i'll still be exco. Being in exco is a whole new learning experience for me. tasted all the difference flavours of life is the past few mths with them taking up many problems and solving them together. i felt i had grown alot during the process. How i wish i can go back in time and correct all the mistakes i had made and caused the excos so much prob and yet they did not get angry with but encouraged me to move on.

I wanna thank them all of them the 12 excos who have been helping me all the way since the start where we took the helm. without them i would never had the determination to move on and persevere to where i am now. From the deepest of my heart i thank you for what you had done will always remain contact ya. And groom the next batch tgt :)

Talk Finale

Dear all,
our Talk event, Motion TV is finally here!
Motion Tv is a platform for BA_COMMers to have an opportunity to showcase their video hosting skills. Experience or otherwise, everyone and anyone with passion in talking can join.

Motion TV will be held on 23rd January 2009 at LT 68E, 7pm.

Tickets are available for free at Canteen One(near the Sushi Store) on 21st and 22nd January 2009, from 11am to 6pm.

*Free HMV vouchers to be won in the lucky draw!

*Free goodie bag & snacks for all attendees!

*Sing performances by Cordelia and Jael (Stagewerkz 2008 1st runner up and winner!)

*Act performance by BA_COMM Act team!
So do come down and support your friends!Hope to see you there (:

bad day

I am so clumsy today.... or should i say i am not focus enough with what i am doing. Alot in my mind work, problems etc etc etc is making me walking around without paying attention to surroundings. Since i step out of house til i reach EAA class, i tripped but never fall 6 times and nearly tio bang by car once... so much for 2hrs into my day. then go TLC they out for maintenance and SDAR they are out oso. wth... haiz... what a bad day


suay sia...

Singaporean gals

Saw this at sherman's blog laughed abit there and somehow it makes sense lol

#1. If you're caught flirting with other girls other than her [YOU DIE]
#2. If you go out and spend more time than her [YOU DIE]
#3. If you didn't wish her for her birthday [SURE DIE]
#4. No presents [YOU DIE]
#5. Didn't reply her sms or answer her call [YOU DIE]
#6. You act tough and don't give in [YOU DIE]
#7. You yell at her [YOU DIE]
#8. You spend on anything else more than her [YOU DIE]
#9. Cannot devote time to see her [YOU DIE]
#10. If you didn't do any/all of the above [SEE YOU IN HELL - Try again?]

S peak to her more than anyone else
I ntelligence won't save you most of the time in a relationship
N ever EVER reject her requests
G ive her MOST of your time [but NOT ALL! you still have studies, exams etc]
A lways devote your attention to her
P amper her
O perating hours for her: 24 HOURS
R ealise that she depends on you most of the time
E nsure she's comfortable each day [If she has problems because of you, you're dead]

Hilarious but sure makes sense and guess what he gets it somewhere which talks bout singaporean gals. no offense i just find it interesting so i copy and paste it

credits to sherman who gave me a laugh.

oh my am i too free this days to be blogging non-stop? or i juz got too much crap which i go nowhere to vent?

Accomplishment

Nowadays my mood is brighten up abit. Did quite well for 2 projects - EAA and I&E.

Although i say my EAA project has done well but i dun really think i did a gd job on my part if not for taizhong i would never at done well for it. thanks to the push from taizhong we manage to get special award for our EAA ppt on XBRL

Next I&E my group is 1 of the 2 best team in class and that's brightens up my day today. It shows the hard work i put in paid off and the collaboration is really there. :)

4hrs of rotting time before exco meeting gona start doing my tutorial which i never really touch during weekend...

Haiz nid ponder who to use for logistics. nid think hard and not make the wrong decisions.

Weird Sister

My sis is so stupid infact that i want to laugh at her so much... she said being youngest in the family sux because the bro will find out her blog. such silly link between 2 diff issues lol. I think she know my blog url too but it's ok i wun be like her to change my url just because someone in the family knows my blog. Hello it's my blog my own freedom of speech here so why must keep it away from your family?

my dear sis even if i know your url i wun be visiting ur blogs everyday just to keep track of you i got my frens blog to read which i find it more worthwhile

Tagged Quiz

Tagged by suern to do....:

Pick your birth month.
→ Change the font to red for anything that doesn’t apply to you.
→ Bold the five that best apply to you.
→ Copy to your blog, livejournal, xanga, wordpress
→ Tag 5 people from your friends list.

JANUARY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, Shy and Humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic. Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness.Polite and soft-spoken.Having ideas.Sensitive.Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay.Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental.Funny and humorous.Loves to joke.Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly.Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt and takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool.Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships.Systematic.

OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think.Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced.Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:Has to lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Aim and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Good and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If to there is to will, to there is to way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be halo. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

nid tag 5 ppl which suern haven't tag and i know that they got blog... z quite limited....
- Ian
- Ricky
- Simplyleo
- Peishan
- HuiYing

lol optional. i juz see the 5 ppl on my link list and those that i still in contact with and come up with this 5 sorry if i "saboh-ed" you dun have to do if you dun wan to :)

Late Late Late

No.1 hated character i find with my frens is the lack of punctuality and sense of urgency. Shall not comment so much I am just going to say i sometimes feel dam irritated bout waiting. I think there is always a limit to things if it is 15 mins of waiting i dun mind but instead 1hr or 2hrs, sry i dun haf so much time to be used on waiting.

What should i do?
1) Carry on be punctual and wait like some stupid dumbass?
2) Start being late and heck care if they wait for you or not?
3) Blacklist all people that will be late and don't go out with them anymore?

A Note

This is a note to Ricky and my friends out there who happens to drop by this blog.

Ricky although there is alot going on in our clique but you do not have to worry so much that we will lose contact. Even if now u live far we will still be able to meet maybe not so much but still enough to remain in contact. The many things and problems happening might have cause our clique to split up but no fret i am still your friend and will always be.

what are brothers for? lol.

Sly fren

i got the sneakiest friend on earth sia... Ask me vote for his URL and his original URL is leading but don't know why this morn i check it is being catched up... he actually enabled spamming of votes and spamming himself at home..
lol Ian you are defeating the purpose of having a poll la haha. Just when i attempted to jack up the voted for livingfacade he disabled spamming... and i think he will activate it at night and spam silently...
What a sly fren i have tsk tsk...

Lost and Found: Motivation

The only thing pushing me forward is responsibility. I am doing things rather half-hearted lately work is so not up to standard even i myself canot stand it... I not sure if it is the holidays or am i just getting lazy. It does not only applies to work even in games i canot play a full game and focus on it for entire game of dota...

Old Folks' home

Today is peishan/huiying's I&E at old folks' home. At 5:51 my alarm rang.... haiz super lazy almoz canot wake up my body is like weighing more than 1000tons such that i rolled off my bed to the ground before standing up and go wash up... My wash up is super slowed down as i must keep going to my fone and miss call my frens to wake them up... Norm morning wash up takes 10mins... today took 30 mins -.- lucky i packed my bag before i go slp last night or i sure take hell long... anyway i failed to wake both my frens up. Duane actually woke up but he fall back aslp again so expected and kah meng actually nvr wake up from my calls how sad... don't wry i am not angry but maybe just abit disappointed as both of you promised me and ya it's ok (with maybe a tinge of buay songness in my tone)

ok left hse at ard 6:35 and waited hell long for the bus... both 53 near my hse and 52 at bishan int... but lucky for the wait i never reached too early but still early enough to grab a bite. finish up my breakfast and went to mrt scanned the area once and confirmed that no1 else had reached before i sms peishan and huiying i had reached. ard 8:25 peishan reachd followed by huiying then zijian. when jeff reached he told me no slippers i was abit shock as i tot the "dressed appropriately" means casual wear which slippers and 3-quarters are allowed. oh well... sry bout it nvr expect i must wear covered shoes and jeans sigh...

we waited til ard 9 before we setoff to the old folks' home. this is like my 4th time to old folks' home and the longest duty i had so far. Feeling exceptionally nervous for fear i would not be able to speak out again and yes i failed at it thoroughly.... I could not speak unless someone is with me and i am never the 1 that start a topic... Yes that is so me rite... haiz muz change...

the whole day passed wif me accomplish nth i seems to be just there and not there kind of feeling... haiz..

another mistake i made i switch off peishan's laptop charger when she nvr put batt in... big mistake lucky i nvr spoil her laptop or i will feel dam bad la... i seems to be always screwing things up sian... nvr seems to get anyth rite...

/edit- ytd was quite tired so nvr blog much so gona add in a few more stuff

I seriously need work on my dialect teo chew... seriously i had problem speaking often cannot think of the words which i wan to say. but i am glad that i could understood what the old folks' is saying if they are talking teo chew at least i can still get it 90% of the time. 1 of the old folks' say being a teo chew must know how to speak teo chew as it is our root quite agree tho but i got noone to speak to. Since my gandparents passed away i had never really came in touch with teo chew much. Maybe on CNY i can practice speaking abit? will find chance to haha.

Going to old folks' home is a learning experience this time for me although this is not the first time i had been and instead the 4th time for me. i think this time is diff as i do more talking than miscellaneous work the past visit had always either played chess or helping out cleaning the compound. I do think i need to work on communications i can only talk to people well if i am close to them of there is a topic i can talk to. Currently i don't think i am capable to start a topic with people i not close with in fact other than work i can't really initiate a talk. I want to make friends, close friends in fact will try hard to :).

Without Chalet 2

Today can say is the best day so far since year 2009 started. Had so much fun today at without guild chalet although i am quiet throughout entire stay but i had my laugh as they cracks jokes.


I reached at 5:10 and received call from leo to meet at POSB at downtown east. i reached there before them of course and waited for a few mins before noticing familiar faces walking towards my direction. (this isn't the 1st outing i had with them). Recognised pp and sunny immediately, took me awhile b4 i can remember who is shell, fish and cf. i nvr met leo b4 so only know that it's her when she intro herself as leo. Sunny and leo went to get food then we walk back to the chalet to wait for jiji who would come ltr in his parents' car to pick us up to buy bbq materials


During the wait they are quite irritated that jiji is taking quite long as he originally said 7pm he would be coming over end up 7:50 then reach. After that leo went wif sunny on his bike and the rest of us have to squeeze in jiji's car. Fish was funny as he wanted to squeeze cf into the bunk but jiji's car turn out not to be a family car and it has a small bunk so Plan A failed =X. ltr on we are lost in tampinese for like 30 mins drive round tampinese and finally found the route to Giant... the whole trip is hilarious... every1 is like laughing loudly as we disturb jiji that he duno his area well and also bout how every1 life is on the line becoz jiji just got his license. Got 1 part he went to wrong lane and even moved back just to switch lane and his car was slanted lol...

After reaching Giant jiji showed his "awesome" parking skills and actually parked into 2 slots, his car took up 1/4 of the space which belongs to the next slot. Then he attempt to park at the space infront of him and the car was parked too left that the space between left car and his car is so narrow... Fish is commenting that jiji passed his driving but failed is parking and when he get his license he will show jiji how to drift into the parking slot haha. hilarious sia...

Next is shopping for bbq materials. hmm i wonder y i suppose to be the do nth walk ard, the slacker of the day. End up i was pushing the trolley for them... i got prob deciding which way to go as they keep going diff directions and i duno who to follow... jiji is nice to stay around me though and keep me occupied or i will be bored to death... jiji sort of make a zoo out of all of us, he is jiji (chicken/monkey king), there is fish (i duno his real name but he is nicknamed fish), pp is called prawn king, cf is called snorlax, leo is called sotong ball? i duno how this comes up buy ya i heard it somewhere, xing is called shell/helmet (i wonder why shell is animal hmmm), yours truely is called gori... i duno y also dun ask =X and sunny is the zoo keeper as said by jiji lol...

Next is going back to chalet, we suppose to follow sunny back as jiji duno the way. jiji actually took the words seriously and he is so serious for once that he keep trailing sunny's bike for entire journey. sunny go which lane he follow and often purposely slow down and sudden boost of speed to disturb sunny lol... the entire journey back took 5 to 10 mins only la... but still dam funny XDDD

Hm after that did nth much folo them buy KFC then i go home le since next day got peishan/huiying's event at old folks' home. gd luck to me i hope i can tok...

Stress...?

Is this the stress period? i seeing people around me so stress... i seriously wish to help but i don't know what i can do to help... Powerless noobishly useless i am of no use i guess haiz... i seriously got the 新由于但力不足 feeling....

Pain reliever

Yes the school reopen officially for me and the 2nd half of the sem... i somewhat dun wish to tok infront of people. I feeling i am losing myself i gradually acting not me am i wearing the wrong mask?
i just wish 1 day i can muster enuff courage.
i am feeling the pain again. i hate taking bus alone keeps me think alot too much for my mind to handle. I am losing it again. Qingfu you canot get emo try pull yourself tgt.

I'll let go and treat it as a pain reliever.

what a messy post i duno what i am doing. *losing it*

New Year Resolution

This post came quite late as i am out on both New Year Eve and New year.

1. I want to change myself, be more outspoken, more patience with things and have better temper.
2. Know more people and widen my social circle.
3. Bring a SMILE to the people around me.
4. Related to 3rd: my friends to be happy
5. Change how people look at me positively
6. Start working hard academically
7. Find a gf? (i added this in because of my frens -.- who keep asking me find 1)

alrite that's about all for this year's resolution and i hope i can attain them (1-6 is more important tho).