beware you might get bored readin with kekentalan
one year ago i was so kental and after that i m still so kental. ish ish so this kental entry is gonna be about me and whats going on in my life that is so kental
this is me i am thee ever so kental person i am
zwei ribu eight, 2008 has been a ferris wheel ride just like the flyer we have here in singapore:)
my life is moving in a circle. many hopped on and many hopped out (of the cubicles) after a period of time that passes slowlyy. every journey taken has different views different incidents and different things that i get out of it.
so what im saying is that i get the point of life not entirely tho but roughly,briefly at least... most of the time its has not got to be about me.. theres more to me. its about others understanding trying to understand their thoughts what they are going through and stuff. everytime i do something there will be a cascade of events i thing about those all the time. okay i try to but im not perfect. im selffish at times..

behind each and every incident theres always a lesson to learn
i accept my flawss gracefully noww not all the times but i tryy
so apart from that i dont want 20008 to go! cos i want to learn some more
borring ahh someone safe me!

halo i need someone to not judge me not scold me not make me upset just make me laugh like mad nothing moree

so so im never in the mood to blogg at all . im glad exams are over and my clinicals are back!! overly excited seyy.. no! kidding. more like cant wait to eat sgh ytf.. wth!


i need my daily dosage of i have no words to describe.. my predicament ..im not at ease im not genuinely happy no! its not me pms-ing at all. i think i don't fit in the society some what.
i cant accept certain things maybe alot of things.
i dont understand ppl who dont think out loud
keep things happening from others
ulterior motives

all of the above ive typed is alll repetitive darn it im babbling
gawd whats wronggg what when wrongg
bottom line is i need to rearrange my feelings back to their respective place in the limbic sys.



anyways im off to "dream" abt this spf grey dress and i'll dream out loud. so that someone out there will here me hinting bigg time.

sorry eva i had to leave just like that cos im tired really tired
yay sakinah!our fave shop!!
aishah i wanted to find you at borders but ala one day eh.
hana picnic on weekends ah cos weekdays after 5 only can!by then we will need to carry torch lights around the park.

the festive season has been interesting and it is ending so so

this weekends wwrapss all up

i need a maid and im tiredd

it feels way way way way better then crying...DUH!

rayerrayerrayer!! its funnn! okay not entireely but yess its fun minus the hot weather. err even though we were sheltered and transported everywhere COMFORTABLYY .. i love carwash!! iwant automated bigcolourful brushes washing the car instead of men with no abs!

anywaysss

SELAMAT HARI RAYERRRR:)

go to www.whatsnototalk.wordpress.com :)

go to www.whatsnototalk.wordpress.com :)

dearest hana how comes i dont have a facebook albumlike anyother? i wish she could hear my thought.:(

lol

please tell me if it hurtss

its my birthday !yay!

oh i promise t0 write a so called revelation of me being 18 :) and so what have i accomplished?
so lets start from 2007 back then when we were all slogging our asses for A's , ..... oh no i cant remember that far! later at the trimester of the 2008, all i know after that hard work i got a complete A level cert! contented yes but theres alwasy a butt.. i wished i could do bettter.
so meanwhile after exams around december working life under POPULAR during bookfest period, thats the first and last kind of job where you cant talk stand around or sit or chew anywhoos i have learnt the hard way to earn small bucks:) ya so
the beginning of the year i was bumming for the longest time sucking my parens blood and money. tsktsktsk and my prayers was answered i got hitched!
national youth council where my eyes were open to the world of volunteerism which ive been meaning to do butnehhadthetimeto . oh ya so while working i got THE bigg result , applied the paths that i could imagine myself going into . made many stupid decision which i thereafter regret! cos i dont things seriously!!! change this I PUT MED FIRST CHOICE!!!UNBELIEVABLE FAD FAD... hahah
i lost my grandma during that time
i got into ntu and nyp
i went nyp wheere i meet the nicest people you can ever meet!
and so end of being 18? thank you to those who made my life meaningful and memorable this past year my dearest family and friend!!!!!:)

ala in betwween if i missed out anything then if irecall i write back again!

okay scratch that previous post no jason mraz what so ever singing me to sleep.(already bursting out in tears**) yes i know its saddening plus its beyond my control that exams and ticket buying days clashes. anyway i have to get over it. there are better things in the future? hopefully
alternativess ?there are many.... omg but theres not gonna be jason mraz:( omg im obssessed. neh..

and why do adults quarrel? not only they quarrel they rake up the past alot like seriously their mind capacity woah power! i can barely even remember what happpened in the last 24 hours. but no they can remember what happened eons and decades ago.AMAZING. so their point of argument will reevolves around the same topic again and again. ppl where is the love man?? and what happened to forgive and forget:)

i seriously need to remember my 12 cranial nerve cos exam is like less than 6 hours .
so there is the Olfactory , Optic, Occulomotor,Trochlear,Abducens, Trigeimal,Facial,Vestibulo-cochlear,Glosso-pharyngeal,Vagus, Accessory,Hypoglossal
okay i didnt fully remember all yet.

oh and note to self: chicken essence taste disgusting never feed the future child with it they will hate you. not really i stll love my mom alot.rather they will be vegan! hehheh

EXXXXXXXXXXXXAAAMSSS GO AWAY!!!
its the exams week fyi! its so suffocating thinking about it and ill have lack of oxygen supplied to my brains and start having brain contractions.
and and EXAM PIMPLE= VERY VERY HUMONGOUS ONES!!




anyway so exciting can after this week!!! ........i hear jason mraz singing to me in my sleeps each night. YAY!
okay now back to pestering regine to wake up!
i need to study but so so lazy well i just have to look forward to this coming weekends:)

oh no im such a pigg ..................

MOMMY I WAANNNNNNNNNNNNTTT

not fated to blog.
oh wells its mom's birthday. and so she turns another year older. and more to come.
for what she have done and gone through, she is THE most important person in my life. like duh, she gave me life.
and well what more, I ♥ mama!

oh tommorows going to be egg-citing!!! and the next day and every other day lol

i have a mad freaking crazy old women hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wails loudly***

CLASSIC!

i hate google cos when i googled my name they thought i spelled it wrongly. like i was supposed to spell it as fadzillah. like WTH!
and all sorts of dato' fadzillah came out! who is that!!??
i shall make this smaller just in case i get sought after for such nasty things i just said.

i stole this from sha's blog:) thank you.

so many people is away!! i feel so not at ease when the people around me just go out of sight:(((
please come back all of you!!

i watched fireworks!!!

thank you:)amillionsss

yayay!! badmintoning tommorow!!

yawns* like got no school later like that.

but i have to post this!

SHINE connects youth! iloveshine:)

i believe a peekcher speaks a thousand words. so no words needed here. lol.

i realise that as days past i feel more and more independent.more responsible of my own action and conseqquences. normally when i spill thinks right i would stand shocked rooted to the ground and not do a single thing bout it. but just now when i was at the minimart, i imagine myself dropping the large bottle of dynamo, and surprisingly, i imagine myself being determine to clear up my own mess. by getting all the mops and all. unbelieve-able. NATO! cos just a few weeks ago, i didnt clean up own messesssssss with sss.

today bugis shine launch youth festival nyf i did somethingood! lol.
and polaroids are so so cool!!!
oh i like bhangra!:)

i need to buy martini!

digging a 12 feet deep hole behind mybed to bury my sadness . cos i have to be better i have to change and do better! no matter how sucky physics is ill manage i think? i hope i need not dig another hole as it is very very tiring. so i rather avoid that.
thank you beautiful friends i feel better now. =)

now i am a full force tutor and student ! my challenge is that i have to manage time ..which i never get to it most of the time!
monday no tuition tuesday tuition wednesday no thursday tuition friday tuition sat tuition and sunday tuition. lol gawd how lively!

MOMMY ITS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRR

and so school is due in about less than 48 hours
we have to sit for this stoopid radiation physics quiz in less than 48 plus 24 hours
and celebrity presentation slightly earlier than quiz
erm and mandarin presentation in about 48 plus (24 time 7) hours more.


my 2 weeks of hols are much well spent!
i can check almost everything except for the studying part! WELL DONE! lol. but i had fun so that nullifys all guilt. evil laughter**those shrilling type

I and WE hei sushi-ed , sex and the city-ed dontmesswithzohan-ed, shopped and walked, found the monyets, played bowling and arcaded which wasnt part of the itinerary, minds cafe-ed, i didnt get the SUN AT ALL!!hmmm overall contented with a bit a guilt


and so obviously in between i watched like countless of shows and movies at angboteangbote!!lol


and i fell in love with this



love and other disasters....

i ssssssmmmmmmmmelllllllllllllllllllllllllll H.O.L.I.D.A.Y.S

so many things to do so little time
i wanna watch movieeeeeees

dontmesswithZOHAN!
sex and the city

i wanna a tour guide along with the others for the little ppl in class

botanical garden
zoo,bird park? not me pleasse
wild wild wet

i wanna go OVER THE SEA to shop and eat

i wanna find all my monyets

i wanna have bbq

i wanna bring siblings to escape theme park

i have to find my beloved college pals together for dearest in belated

i have to know my upper limb and lower limb

i have to understand radiation physics

highly reccomended yes by me!!! the sucker for sad non english love storyssss.

i cried! "HIRO ,.......................

and so CLICK FIVE is AWESOMEAWESOMEAWESOMEamilliontimes!!!

half the time i was "starstruck" cos i didnt know the lyrics and i was so happy when they played empty jenny flipside happy birthday and catch your wave not that i know the lyrics completely but at least i heard it before.
fyi THE CLICK FIVE is not just your another cute boyband get together, they are a hell bunch of talented people! you know. and yes the pigchak all jumbled up lol.
i took videos too though thats not allowed. cos everyone else was taking so i thot one for all la. right??!!!

i am a certified klutz i swear im a nuisance to the society

while everyone else was playing happily with many synthetic bones and a skeleton and 3 real scapulas , miss itchy fingers just had to roam back to her object of interest from the stat of class that yellow colour showerhead, she stood for awhile in front of it . followed by her legs which was itchy too, so she stepped on this brake thingy and water drop like the rain from the ceiling and everywhere water went. luckily the chivalrous chairman came to the rescue. EVERYTHING WAS WET I FELT SO BAD...

sidenote! if yoou are afraid of bones why do you choose to work with bones? change before you cant!

111 or 1111 is very disturbing!

i look at the digital clock in school at 11:11, or 1:11

and i have 111 post in total. oh freaky shit.

exams are so stressing!! and so i turn to my reflection image to distress lol.

well if you dont love yourself first who will=)))

I cant wait for the weekends!!

Compulsive Buying Disorder!

something that most XX gender is facing

since young!!

Oh WE SO SO LOVE E-LEARNING DAY!!!!!!!!!!

E! ntertainment hub @ my home

we have all the latest game free wireless access and lots more

xbox 360, pspsss,ps 2 and 3 and 3 lappys and 1 desktop

and so for any usage of all of this at flat rate of 5 bucks per hour. lol

kidding la

but if friends are gamers .... why not?

happy vessaks y'all=)

and and i heart fleass =)

i've become an addict! SHOPPING ADDICT! stop making it easier for me to shop! im dy-ing of being lack of substance lack of activities but i'll still die if i dont. oh wells
other than giving my/mommy money to otherss, i feel empty i miss my friends! i miss all my secondary school friends primary and kindergarten and jay cssss how i wish i could keep all of them in a big room and we will all live happily ever after=)))))
if not we can set up our own "pleasentville" and live together and NO FOREIGN species can enter.YES only loved humans!

back to the real real cold hard fcuk stressed up world that we are in dip shit,
we have to follow our heart!: do what we like or do what we think is THE right path, THE path that will bring you luxury in the future.
oh choices why cant you be obviously favourable and not be slightly unfavourable.
and so everybody states 3 unis reply in their blog !!! ill be like 1 uni reply 1 poly 1 rejection! muaahahahaha

i got in to ntu! i want to get in smu and nus too!!!!lol

the new classmates the new type of fun the new environment the different way of livings. to me, theres more than that meets the eye. 3 years...is gonna be memorable and super crazy whatnots plus the tonnes of radiation physics and anatomy.

she loves catsdogsmonkeysratsandall in animalia

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

prognosis of a radiation therapist?

HERE ME OUT LOUD

i tried i tried really hard i hope you knew i tried.

never in a million years have i ever dream or thought of hurting my dearests.

i sincerely apologize if it seems that way

but the night was quite an effort you have to agree?

in the end it ended on a sour note but it started great.thus it wasnt entirely a nightmare i thought.

please reflect please think what went wrong please for once think in other ppls shoes pleaase though i never gave up its tiring cos i do most of the thing im drained both ways and

im sorry SHE had to suffer.

if it makes it better i take full blame.

my lapppy is cool to the max!