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Tuesday, May 31, 2011
My heart is beating so fast now as if I have just ran a marathon. I can feel it thumping hard against my chest. Maybe its the steriods that I am using as my medication now. You think I don't care. You said words that hurts me. I am worried. My heartbeat is not normal. I know because I went to see the chinese doctor a few weeks back and he had measured my heartbeat rate. Thump. Thump. Thump. 120 beats to 90 plus beats to 80 plus beats back to 100 plus beats. Let me tell you something surprising. Not once I have seen him its normal and I wasn't even eating steriods at that time. Now I stopped seeing him and I am eating steriods again. I do care. Others blame me for my condition. You think bathing early and eating right will help? You think I have something mild like the flu? I may appear to be indifferent. I may not show on the surface. But let me tell you again. The doctors, not one, not two, but every doctors I have seen said my condition is not curable. My condition is a chronic disease. You know what it means? Go look up on the dictionary if you don't know. Stop blaming me. You don't think I know I am suffering? You don't think I wish this would stop? Let me tell you once and for all. You blame me. So who do I get to blame huh? My parents? My family? My genetics? Oh nonono! I should blame myself right? I should blame myself because I don't bath early, I don't eat right, I don't watch my personal hygenience. But do you know why I don't bathe early? How do you know I don't eat right? I delay my bathing time because everytime I get into the fcuking water, I hurt like hell. If my condition flares up , no matter- I tell you NO MATTER- what I eat, it wouldn't helps. You don't try to understand the reasons behind. You saw the results and you automatically thinks it's my fault. It's like blaming someone who gets cancer even though he/she never drinks, never smokes and have a normal lifestyle. So let me say it again. Stop putting the blame on me because no one, not you, not even my parents, understands how I feel. I care and I thank you all for the concern but it's enough. Because I cannot stand it anymore. One more, just one more blow, I swear I will... ...Believe me you don't want to know what I am about to say. Let me keep this as a surprise... Because when it comes, you will know... You can help me fill this in then. Wednesday, April 20, 2011 I really BLOODY hate MELODRAMATIC PEOPLE!!!! So MELODRAMATIC why don't you go HOLLYWOOD and be an ACTRESS?! SPARE ME your pitiful cries and everything else. OmiGOSH! SERIOUSLY! Monday, March 22, 2010 Today the GP paper and Econs paper were crappy but I have no lingering feelings for them now they are over(for now). I just feel very tired, kept yawning during the gp paper lol. Just realised that there are more exams to go. One before june holidays(maybe), one after june holiday, one before september holidays, another after september holidays then finally the big A. So I don't really want to care about this SA1 now. Seriously no mood. They say if we did badly for this SA they are going to call up our parents. I wonder if I should give them a warning? I am not going be high tension throughout this year. It will seriously damage me. I cannot handle stress! I think I like the idea of studying. But it's rather ironic since I don't really like the to do the hard labour part(mugging and mugging). I think every now and then I should just give myself a break. The only thing I worry about this SA is how my bio teacher will react when she see my (or my class) results. She looked so pale this morning when she came in to invigilate our class during the gp exam. I really don't wish to face her when I get back my result for bio. Maybe I should make a compromise to just mug bio and lax for other subjects first. Hmm... Okay whatever. They say if you did badly for this SA they will 'kick you out of JC2'. We asked our math teacher before and she say maybe they will just "advise" you to retain. I wonder what I would do if I were "advised"? I probably would just get this year over with and then think again if there's a need to do so. P.S. Hey CL! Next year, when I get back my A level results, come with me to collect k? Saturday, March 20, 2010 i don't want to see her disappointed face. i don't want to hear her inquiring voice. i don't want to see his stern face, hear his disappointed voice asking me. i don't want to take the exams and get back my results. i wish they would understand..is it too much to ask? OH GOD~! HELP~! I can't stand this stress anymore! I seriously cannot stay at home. If I stay at home, all I want to do is to just lie on my bed all day and slack. Because seriously, that's what I did all day. I am also seriously considering skipping my exams next week 'cos I know what will come out of it. I didn't study at all and I don't feel like doing anything. I have been so lazy this week. I even refuse to get out and buy dinner ~.~ HELP~! OMG~! =.="' Hi! I know it's been a long time since I last updated! >.< Just changed my blogskin. Took me quite some time. Think I'll just blog for a while then I will be sleeping. Life in JC is terrible. I feel suffocated. This week is my March Holidays i.e. Studying Week. But very guilty to announce that I have only just touched my books today (and not alot, sigh...) Next week is my SA1. I don't think I will be able to do well in it. Gonna disappoint my bio and math teacher again;( In only just three months, there were so many changes happening around me already. Two of my closest friends in my school now are going to have "boyfriends". I feel lost. This has never happen to me before. (And yes, CL, if you've got a boyfriend, I would feel lost too.) One of them is not confirm yet. She will be telling me about it when school reopens, I guess. I don't whether I should support her or not. I have mixed feelings about it. But if she's happy, I guess I should support her. :) I wish SA1 isn't next week. Makes me feel tired thinking of it. Sigh~ Time to hit the sack. Saturday, October 31, 2009 Today, I feel happy because for a moment I forget about it. Today was supposed to be a planned surprise for Daryl. I don't know who organised it but Haikal was supposed to tell me the details. When I didn't receive any notifications, I thought the surprise was cancelled. In the end, it was just that either Haikal and Daryl had a miscommunication or they just forgot to tell me, one was supposed to tell me but both realised later that neither had told me about it =="' They were on their way there when they called me and I was in my house, idling away. Then I got one miss call from Haikal and 4 miss calls from Daryl when I finally saw it and called back. Hahas! They were going to eat at Downtown East "Just Acia". And so, after much last minute preparations, I finally reached there. At first, I couldn't find them 'cos they were sitting inside the restaurant out of my sight. I finally saw them when Daryl came out to fetch me. Ernest and Raihan was there too. Shumin was supposed to come but she was with her secondary school friends so she didn't come in the end. I was snapping pictures the minute I sat down, hahas!  I ordered spicy chicken!  Look delicious, ain't it? Yum! Raihan and Haikal!  Me and Daryl! LOL! See what Daryl's doing! Hahas! Pa bought me a new phone, Nokia E72. I showed to them and both of them are trying to analyse how to sms using that phone. LOL! It's true! We can't find the way to sms with that phone mann! In the end we decided I should just read the user's manual. Hahas! Raihan's phone! Haikal's phone! And he's just being lame:PWhen I reached there, I also found out something. Not only we have a surprise for Daryl (An apple strudel from Haikal), Daryl and gang also have a surprise for Haikal (according to them, it's two muffins, lol). So there were many whisperings around which were kinda hilarious and fun. :D  Me, Daryl and Ernest! Raihan and Haikal~ Haikal polluting the chili! Personally, I think I really look happy here. That's Daryl's hand by the way! Haikal said he is eating ice-cream with chopsticks. I said he is just wasting others' people's chopsticks! :P Ernest! Look over here!  My bad attempts to try to take pictures with Haikal but I failed miserably. Hahas! Both Daryl and Haikal were shock when each told one another that surprise gift. It was really interesting, hahas!  Me and Raihan! Raihan and Haikal were eating ice-cream and drinking the free-float all the way because the food wasn't Halal, I think? Lol, Haikal really eat too many bowls of ice-cream :P  The threesomes! We took the picture outside in the end. Hahas! ALL OF US!After we finished eating, Haikal wanted to go WhiteSands to find a game so I followed him there while the others went home. But Haikal couldn't find what he wanted so we just went home in the end. It was a really fun day, one of my most enjoyable days ever! Thanks Haikal and Daryl for inviting me! Although, I have my 'A' Level MTL exam on monday, I am really glad I came out today. Hope to go out with you guys soon!  Have to start mugging! Saturday, October 24, 2009 Went to kbox(again!) with Jun Ting, Clarence and Shu Min. This time round we went for the klunch one and sang until 3pm. There's this promotion going on that they will help us take 3 pictures and wash it out for us, plus a coke and extend our singing until 3pm(it's actually until two plus, I think.) for $6. Then when they see we got 4 people, they made us another offer to increase it to $8 for another additional coke and another picture. We agreed. There's the pictures!
When we reached Whitesand, we walk into Aries to see some more accersories. When we are coming out, we saw Clarence standing outside, looking damn bored! So we took his picture. But it was pretty blur. Either Junting or Shumin took it, I am not sure. But also because, we took it in the shop and was warned by the shopkeeper, so we didn't take another one. Hahas! It was quite a fun day but rather short one, I think. I want to go out as much as possible now because next year might not have chance to do so. Friday, October 23, 2009 I went to eat with Michelle after school today. We went to TM's basement to eat. I forgot what's the shop's name. It was called EXPRESS something. Anyway, the food will speak for itself. Tada!
Yeah! I love Mich! She is the best:) |
Jia Min♥ " nineteen this year, borned on the fifth day of november, loves being a scorpio, family,friends and money are everything to her graduated from TPJC and BGSS, was a member of TPJCSW band and BG band, ,loves her tuba and her section, is waiting her whole life for HIM to appear..." cbox Afifah.| Akbar.| Asyraf. | Cassini.| Celeste.| Chiou Looi. | Dawn.| Faiq.| Fazwin. | Felicia.| Jing Yin.| Jocelyn. | Joo Yee.| Jovey.| Jun Ting. | Juzantri.| Li Ting.| Louis Jie. | Mabel.| Maslinda.| Michelle Tan. | Ming Han.| Pei Hsia.| Philo.| Po Han.| Sheau Yun.| Shafiq.| Sheril.| Shermaine.| Shilah.| Si Ting.| Syafiqah.| Vivienne.| Wanning.| Wei Ting.| Xiu Zhen.|Ying Siew Darlinn.| Yao Ming.| Zaid.| Zheng Yuan. December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 April 2006 June 2006 July 2006 October 2006 February 2007 May 2007 June 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 March 2010 April 2011 May 2011 get into local U Mr Right treatment for hair better skin become thinner lip gloss More Free Music at MP3-Codes.com Designer : Chili. x o x o |
