Chelsea 2-0 Birmingham City (FA Cup 4th round)

Cantonese commentators pronounced "Duff" as "tofu".

Could hear Chelsea fans singing "One Robbie Savage". (Robbie Savage, the former anchor of Brum's midfield, left for Blackburn Rovers recently.)

One goal each from our centre backs. Huth completely unmarked for the first. Terry with perfect header across goal from a Lampard cross. In between Birmingham had several chances to score, but Cudicini did well. Johnson and Bridge obviously the weakest links in our team. Ferreira can take either of their places but not both.

Jose is a genius. Managed to turn an accusation about illegally approaching Ashley Cole into an insinuation that he wants to join Chelsea and a tasty tidbit for the press. Something along the lines of the following: "I can answer that in many ways. I can say that that is not true. Or I can say that Chelsea will always be linked with great players. Or that agents will always link their players to Chelsea when they are trying to get a better deal for their client. And I can definitely state I did not meet Cole, because at that time I was in Milan meeting Adriano."

Pundits saying its "unfair" if we get Adriano and Gerrard. Most amusing.

Update: He was joking.

Steven Gerrard, Adriano, Ashley Cole - and next week it will be another one. It is names after names with us, because it is Chelsea. Everybody wants to come and everybody wants to connect players with us. But I have no time to meet players. I am concentrating on my job with the club, and that is to get some silverware.

Nostalgia

Ah, for the days when players like Jesper Gronkjaer were still around, he who had a big hand in getting us into the CL but would be frustratingly inconsistent all season until the last three games when he scored a goal in each, all of them crucial.

Not.

It's much better now. Gronkjaer gone and faded into the obscurity that his inconsistency deserves (Seville, last I heard?). Others doubtless soon to follow.

The feature on the last match of the season, with the fans' support for Ranieri and his post-match interview, was surprisingly moving. I rarely feel sympathy for anyone, but I did then.

He did not deserve it. But Jose is incredible.

Manchester United 1-2 Chelsea (CC SF 2nd leg)

Manure had more chances in the first half, but none particularly clear-cut. Cech untroubled. We scored with our only decent chance. Robben set Drogba loose on the left, who pulled it into the box for Lampard to slot it home as four red shirts in the box were not anywhere near him.

Manure much more dangerous second half. Cech with several good saves, defence blocking well as usual. Then Giggs lobbed Cech with a delightful flick. Class goal, though helped by Cech being off his line. Howard also forced to save well a few times, Robben and Drogba our main dangermen. When Drogba was pulled off for Guddy we were less threatening, but solid defence continued. Maka lost his head and kicked wildly at a Manure player, and was lucky to get only a yellow, probably only because he had missed. But otherwise magnficent as usual. Duff very quiet, but settled it for us. Won a free-kick outside right corner of penalty box. Took it himself, but intended cross was missed by everyone including Howard.

Battered scousers await in the final. How exciting.

Chelsea 3-0 Portsmouth

First half a stroll. Robben the star. Set up Drogba for an easy tap in with a typical mind-boggling run. Then scored the second from a tight angle after Lampard sent him through. Then won the foul for the freekick which Drogba stowed away.

Second half a casual kickabout.

Arse and Manure both won this weekend. Lead remains at 10.

Pool are collapsing amusingly. Not content with their embarrassing FA Cup exit, they lost 0-2 to struggling Soton. Must really mute their gloating over "Moro" and young Leeds goalie Carson (whom we were also in the running for).

A post by Avanti on Chelsea Chat after several discussions of past players and Bates' takeoever of Leeds:

This page is a bit like Moscow in 1936...


"What is your opinion of the renegade Bateski?"
"He is the vilest hyena. From 1994 he was in close touch with the Leedsite-fascist centre, and was later directly responsible for the defection of our best Argentinian agent to the Zionist enemy".
"There are reports him that you applauded him at a rally in 1997..."
"I deny it. I was never at the Wembley rally. I did not even watch in on the Television, and I cannot remember the score."
"There are also reports that you were seen celebrating in a pub on the Fulham Road the following year."
"Never. As is well-known there are no pubs on the Fulham Road."
"Admit it - you are a Wiseist."
"Comrade Prosecutor, I always detested him and denounced his antics in the strongest possible manner. His assaults on opposing players were an affront to all that is decent and pure in the game."
"What was your opinion of the Blue Peter programme".
"I enjoyed it immensely, especially Comrade Noakes"
"Did you denounce the savage pinch on Nicky Butt?"
"Of course. Immediately it occurred I was on my feet protesting that the revanchist Wise should be exposed."
"Have you ever met any tea ladies."

Tottenham Hotspurs 0-2 Chelsea

So, the traditional 3 Point Lane points. Match was fairly even overall, with a dearth of shots on target from both sides. Cech had one good save to make from Defoe and a soft catch from a poor freekick. And Smertin nearly scored an own goal when he miskicked trying to clear a Spurs corner. On our part, Robinson saved well from a Duff snapshot, Lampard fluffed a chance at goal after being put through with space in the penalty box, and Guddy missed a sitter near the end.

Large quantities of bickering. Pamarot could not handle Robben's pace and guile, and kept accusing him of diving. The first incident referee Graham Poll deemed not a penalty, though he didn't book Robben for diving. The second incident, this time with Smertin not Robben, led to the penalty, and it looked more dubious a foul than the first. Spurs coach Martin Jol later claimed Smertin had fallen over from stamping on his own foot. All I could see was King sticking his leg in Smertin's path, missing the ball and withdrawing it as quick as he could, but whether there was any substantial contact, the blurry video didn't reveal. At any rate Lampard took a great penalty, just inside the post at incredible pace so that Robinson couldn't touch it even though he dived full-length the right way.

There was another penalty claim, this one stronger than the previous two, again with Robben the one felled. There was obvious contact in this one, though again it is uncertain if the fall was mainly simulation or real stumbling.

As Spuds threw everyone forward in the dying minutes, Guddy (on for Drogba) danced his way to the touchline and tried to pull the ball back for Cole, only it missed him but set up nicely for the onrushing Lampard, who smashed it in with trademark accuracy. That was it then.

Almost even nicer than beating Spuds was Arse losing to Bolton, handing us a 10 point lead. The only thing to cloud the weekend was Manure beating Pool via another Dudek mistake. They look to be on the rise, but we are rising just as quickly as they are.

And today, Pool were knocked out of the FA Cup by Burnley, courtesy of their beloved "Rafa" fielding a second string side that resulted in a piss-poor performance with Burnley having 85% of possession in the first half. Even then they could have squeaked to a replay with a goalless draw, but the ever entertaining Traore scored a bizarre own goal that would have been a classy strike if he'd been at the other end.

Ecstatic Weekend

Sample of the delirium on Chelsea Chat after the Spurs win and Arsenal's loss:

You know, we really ARE going to win the league - stingray 19:12 15/1
* SHUT UP # - Perillo 19:16 15/1
* After all these years I can almost taste it # - ginger of the shed 19:15 15/1
* And that assumes Arsenal win every game # - True Blue Tom 19:14 15/1
o They seem more likely to drop points than us, I - Mekon 19:18 15/1
* The bookies just stopped taking bets on Chelsea - csagentski 19:14 15/1
* Bit premature yet. # - Mekon 19:13 15/1
* The only worries i have are - md 19:13 15/1
* Don't even say it! not yet! # - Mrtamblingman 19:13 15/1
* new fan! # - BlueBarney 19:12 15/1

Chelsea 0-0 Manchester United (Carling Cup QF 1st leg)

Manure parked a bus in front of goal, apparently. Two goal-line clearances from the impressive Heinze. We played several key players, like Terry, Gallas, Lampard, Duff and Makalele, but to no avail, while they rested most of their luminaries. So a small victory for them.

Chelsea 3-1 Scunthorpe [FA Cup 3rd Round]

Jose fielded a severely weakened team. Two untried youngsters --- Steven Watt and Nuno Morais --- in defence, as Gallas, Terry and Ferreira were rested. Smertin as centre-half. Midfield of Geremi, Tiago and Cole. All three senior strikers up front. Cudicini in goal, but that's barely a weakness.

Abysmal performance, as one might have predicted with such a team. Scunthorpe took a "shock" lead on 7 minutes through Hayes amidst the shambles. Equalised 15 minutes later with a well-taken Kezman volley. Shambles continued though.

Nothing changed second half in terms of Scunny's dominance, but they took a little pressure off us with an own goal from Crosby, who turned Drogba's cross into his own net. After that was a hair-raising spell in which Scunny missed several sitters (one that came from Carlo missing a cross), crashed one header against Carlo's post, and forced Carlo into good saves. Then we put it beyond them for good with a Guddy goal, this time Robben (on as a sub!) the architect.

Jarosik, the new Czech midfielder signed from CSKA Moscow, made his debut late on.

At least we fared better than Manure, whose second-string team were held to a 0-0 draw by non-league Exeter. But it nearly backfired, and perhaps Jose deserved to have it backfired. Recent luck continues though.

Late Update: 5 x-0 wins

Chelsea 4-0 Norwich City
Lampard 34: Duff 10: Robben 44: Drogba 83

Chelsea 1-0 Aston Villa
Duff 30
Tough match, lucky to come out winners.

Portsmouth 0-2 Chelsea
Robben 79: Cole 90
Tougher match, crucial test to pass, and team happiness at the end showed it.

Liverpool 0-1 Chelsea
Cole 80
We did break the historical Anfield duck last season, but it's still a tough venue, and Pool's performance surpassed that of any team who has played us this season. Except for ten minutes or so near the start of the second half, were struggling to get out of our own half. Pool with a legitimate penalty claim when Tiago handled not given. Then Cole comes on as a sub and scores the winner against them again, this time with a deflected shot to boot. Smash-and-grab at Anfield. Another massive win, in psychological terms.

Chelsea 2-0 Middlesbrough
Drogba 15, 17
Opposite of last match. Utterly dominant, could have scored four or five.

Other news:
Notable happening of the week was Manure escaping with a 0-0 draw at Old Trafford after Carroll had mishandled a long-range shot and dropped it a foot behind the goalline, only for the linesman to fail to spot it.


And oh yes. We are seven points clear now, Arse having been held to a draw by Man City.