What I'm Loving Lately

Chloe has been a bit difficult lately.  I hate to complain about either of my children, but it’s been pretty rough the last several weeks.  Not only have I been dealing with feeling like she doesn’t like me, she has been very, erm, emotional.  That’s a good way to put it.  If you do just the wrong thing at just the right time, all hell will break loose.  And you’ll see it coming too.  First she’ll drop whatever she has, hang her head, and if that doesn’t get enough of a reaction, she will walk to whatever spot on the floor looks enticing to her at the moment and bury her face in the carpet.  And then she’ll stand up and do it again.  And again.  And usually by this point she’s crying too.  Suffice it to say, I now know what people are referring to when they say the terrible twos.  Except I’ve heard that the two’s aren’t so bad and that it’s the three’s that are more difficult.  So help me if the three’s are worse!!

But, that’s not what this post is about.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  Even though we have some hard days, it doesn’t take much to turn the hard times into good times.  And the particular event that sparked me to put all of these things into a list was right before dinner Monday night.  I’m off on Mondays so JJ and I had been home with both kids all day and even had a friend of mine visit for several hours.  It was a good day.  Set scene: JJ was getting dinner ready and there was a movie on in the living room.  I was holding Drake in my lap sitting at the kitchen table and Chloe had just come into the kitchen and started dancing to a song from the movie.  (We have a split level house so the kitchen overlooks the living room).  JJ grabbed his phone and said “Oh Chloe, you’ll like this!”  He turned on Kat.y Perr.y’s “Roar” and Chloe went to town dancing.  But he wanted the music louder, so he ran downstairs real quick and grabbed some speakers and plugged them in.  And before I knew it, I felt some rumbling under my fingers coming from Drake’s belly, and he was laughing!  I was bouncing him on my lap, he was smiling and laughing at his sister dancing, and then JJ joined Chloe dancing in the kitchen.  The four of us had a dance party in the kitchen.  And just like that my heart was full.  This is what it’s about.  Three years ago I didn’t know if I would ever get to experience a moment like this.  And Monday night it was actually happening, right before my eyes.  My sweet husband was dancing with our spunky, beautiful daughter, while I bounced our happy baby boy on my lap and we danced to song after song.  It was a very special moment and one that I hope to never forget.

Some of the things I’m loving lately:

- Watching Chloe dance in the car

- How Chloe can do no wrong in her brother’s eyes and the way he just stares at her with love in his eyes

- Watching JJ’s relationship with Drake grow

- Watching JJ’s relationship with Chloe grow

- Listening to Drake talk in bed

- Watching both of my kids sleep

- When Chloe wakes up crying in the middle of the night, I can go into her room, rub her head for a minute, and watch her fall back to sleep

- The smooch-lip kisses Chloe gives

- Watching Drake hit new milestones, like grabbing toys and putting them in his mouth, rolling over, etc.

- Hearing Chloe say new words on a daily basis

- Getting alone time with JJ and Drake just lying in bed together.  We don’t have nearly as much time to do that as we did when Chloe was a baby.

- The way Chloe will sing, and once we hear her and ask her to sing some more, she’ll get shy and continue very quietly

- How excited Drake gets when he sees me come in the room, especially if I’ve been gone for a while

- How Drake starts to rub his eyes when he gets sleepy

- That Drake will fall asleep nursing before bed and often times stays asleep when I pick him up to set him in his crib.  I could hold him asleep in my arms forever.

- How Chloe will name off the people in her family - mom mom, daddy, Sammy, Izzy, baby...

- How Drake rolls his eyes when we are tickling him and usually screeches

- That Chloe has a name for all of her stuffed animals and has to take “Sammy” and “Izzy” with her almost everywhere (those are our dogs’ names too)

- Chloe’s gorgeous long, curly hair and when she lets me brush or run my fingers through it

- When I look over and see my two kids are holding hands

- That Chloe finally has a name for me now - it's "mom mom"

- The feeling of accomplishment after having a good and productive day at home alone with both kids

- That my family is complete

Just The Two Of Us

I’m coming to the realization that my kids aren’t going to grow up with the big family get-togethers that I had growing up…and it makes me sad.  My family isn’t large by any means, but it’s kind of like an octopus.  On my mom’s side we had her brother and his family (wife and four kids) and her mom (my grandma) that we saw on a regular basis.  This is the Italian side and we would have Sunday dinner together almost every week.  All of us cousins were very close in age and always had fun when we were together.  Then we had the Jewish side which were extended cousins that we’d see once or twice a year, especially when we were younger.  Then we have the BIG Italian side where even the smallest get together has at least 30 people.  I didn’t grow up knowing that side very much, but we’d see them on occasion.  We had just started going to more family functions with them shortly before my mom died, and then after that we didn’t make it to see them for a while.  Now since having kids though we are making more of an attempt and it’s great.  That’s where all the kids are in the family these days.

On my dad’s side there is just one group and we see them for every major holiday, but the youngest kid is 7 and the other two are 16 and 20.

Then on JJ’s side…well, we don’t know.  Apparently his family wasn’t close growing up, and he’s even admitted he forgets how many siblings (if any) his parents have.  Umm, OK.  So needless to say I’ve never really met too many of his family members even though many of them live in KC.  I can think of three occasions (his grandma’s funeral shortly after we started dating, one family reunion a few years ago, and his brother’s wedding two years ago).   He definitely has extended family, but we NEVER see them. 

My brother and his girlfriend will most likely be moving away next year.  She will be graduating and they will both go wherever she gets a job offer, which currently she has an interview set up in California.  I assume they will get engaged and married within the next couple of years and have kids a couple years after that. But my guess is we will hardly ever see them.  JJ’s brother and his wife don’t plan to have any kids.  So that leaves my kids, just the two of them.  I’m so so thankful that they at least have each other to grow up with, but it really does hurt my heart that they won’t have opportunities to grow up with cousins close in age, have Sunday dinners like we did growing up, be around aunts and uncles, hell, even their grandparents.  JJ’s dad is older and not in the best health so we don’t see him very often.  JJ’s mom would love to see both kids every day, but they live about an hour away and she has to care for JJ’s dad quite a bit.  And my dad is a whole other story.  He’s back living close to us, yet he hasn’t made any attempts to see the kids.  We’ve asked on occasion if he wants to come out and watch the kids, and he does, but not really.  A couple weeks ago he came out, and brought a friend with him and I’m sure she did the bulk of the kid-watching.  This past week he came out during the week while JJ was home so he could get some painting done.  JJ said my dad sat his butt on the couch, watched tv, and played on his phone.  JJ did more with him there than he would if he wasn’t because he was trying to get painting done, but quickly realized my dad wasn’t doing a damn thing with the kids.  I don’t know if it was because he knew JJ was there or what, but we will not be asking my dad to watch the kids again anytime soon.  I guess I was just expecting him to be a more hands-on grandpa, and clearly he’s not. 

I get jealous when I hear my friends talk about their family and I know they get together a lot, or I see pictures on FB of baby cousins playing together.  But it is what it is, and I guess thankfully my kids won’t know any different – having a small family will be their normal. 

5 Months - Drake

It amazes me how you are so much your own little person, yet I look back at what your sister was up to at this age and many things are identical to what you are currently doing.  From the fake coughs, to arching your back trying to get off our laps, to moving into your own room at night, to trying out new toys like the jumperoo, you are on the same timeline as her.  But at the same time you are so different and I love that about you.  You are making this experience of having a son unique and I wouldn’t want it any other way.  I think you are going to be our little flirt, albeit a shy one.  You still love looking at yourself in the mirror, but as soon as you see yourself, or if others get your attention and you lock eyes with them, you get shy and bury your head into our chest, or turn your head the other way.  You can talk and talk all day whether you have someone right there to listen or not.  You have a whiny cry, usually when you are hungry or tired, that is so adorable.  One thing that I can never get too much of is how cuddly you are, simply due to nursing.  Often times you will fall asleep while nursing and I will let you lay on the pillow in my lap or when I drape you over my shoulder to burp you and you just rest your tired head on my shoulder, I will rub your back and let you snooze.  You continue to bring so much joy into our lives and I love being your mommy.

Sleep: As of October 12^th, you now sleep in your own room.  I wasn’t ready for the transition because it marked the end of an era (never having a baby sleep in my room again) but I knew it was time.  You were starting to be more aware of noises such as the TV, your daddy snoring, me getting ready in the morning, or just even one of us rolling over in bed, and it wasn’t allowing you to get good sleep.  So we knew it was time.  And for the most part you’ve done great!  You still usually wake up once and need your pacifier, but we sometimes have to go in two, three, maybe even four times before you finally keep it in your mouth and fall asleep.  And generally I don’t come in to feed you until your second wake up which happens any time after 4 am.  We have a fan going in your room which I think is a big help because it blocks a lot of the noise from (ahem…a noisy sister) out and you can sleep right through most things.  Almost all of your naps are in your crib too, and if you don’t sleep in there, you are in the swing.  It’s hit or miss on how long you nap in your crib, and looking back at your sister’s five month update, we had the same problem with her.  The solution was swaddling.  We’ve basically never swaddled you so I’m hoping to avoid that, but we’ll see how your naps go over the next couple of weeks.  You go down at bedtime without a fight at all, never have, but the naps sometimes take a bit more work.  Oh, and I have to mention you slept through the night for the first time on October 10^th.

Daily Routine: At least when I’m off you typically get up between 8 and 9.  We go out to the couch and hang out together and then I put you down for your first nap about the time your sister wakes up.  Generally that first nap is still the longest of the day.  After you wake up, I get you dressed, you eat, and it’s time to play.  Your second nap gives us some alone time with Chloe and it’s more playing and eating after you wake up.  The third nap usually overlaps some (or all) of Chloe’s nap so that gives daddy and I a break and a chance to get things done around the house.  Usually you are up for the rest of the day between 4 and 5 and we put you to bed at 8:30. 

Feed: You are still exclusively breastfed.  You are a champ with the bottles – it’s hard to believe there was ever a time when you flat out refused them.  You are even starting to hold them a bit on your own now.  We are still using the small tube bottles from the pump/hospital which are 2.5 ounces I believe.  When I’m at work, daddy will warm one up for you and usually you’ll take a second one, so a total of about 5 ounces at a time.  He feeds you three times during the day most days.  I nurse you when I get home, once before bed, and once during the night/before I leave for work in the morning.  So total you typically are eating six times a day.  You have started getting very distracted while eating though and it’s almost impossible to feed you anywhere your sister is.  If she makes any noise, you have to turn to see what she’s doing.  The favorite part of my day is now taking you into your room, closing the door to the outside world, and sitting there in the glider nursing you in the soft glow of your light box before bedtime.  You always fall asleep and I could just stare at you forever. 

Weight: My guess is around 15 pounds

Length: My guess is around 23.5 inches

Diaper Size: Size 2 diaper (we finally moved you up once we ran out of size 1)

Clothes Size: For the most part you are still in 3 month clothes, especially pants, and then some shirts.  Everything else is 3-6 months, especially jammies. 

Hair Color:
At birth: reddish-blonde
20 weeks: sweet boy, you can’t seem to figure out what color you want your hair to be! :)  Just when we think it’s changing colors and turning more blonde, it’s filled in more over the last month and looks to be red again.  As much as your red hair surprised us from the beginning, and we hoped you’d end up being blonde, I think I will be sad if you lose the red.  It’s just…you!

Eye color:
At birth: blue/gray
20 weeks: bright blue

Funniest moment: I have to have ice in my drinks, and we have a refrigerator with the ice dispenser in the door.  Many times I am holding you when I go to fill my cup, and even though I warn you that it’s going to be loud and you are staring right at my cup, the noise always surprises the hell out of you when the ice comes out.  You throw your arms up in the air, arch your back, and then bury your head into my neck. Every. Time.  Maybe it’s a typical baby thing, but you have a fake cough (as did your sister) that you think is pretty funny.  Whenever you do it, it’s usually a slow cough, cough, and you’ll look at me and smile and then start kicking and squirming around like “I got you to look at me!”

Milestone: In looking back at your sister’s monthly post, she had rolled over a few times by now.  I thought for sure you would roll before she did but you haven’t yet.  You seem to be close, but also don’t seem to be too terribly interested.  Just last night you rolled from your back to your belly, but I had your head slightly propped on a pillow so it might have given you a big of an advantage and I won’t count that.  You continue to blow bubbles/raspberries and spit.  You can really spot us now from across the room – which means you are also more aware when we leave the room – which means cue tears.  That’s part of what makes nap time harder is you don’t like us leaving the room.  You grab toys and put them in your mouth; you’ll hold your pacifier and sometimes grab it out of your mouth.  You have found your feet, and especially like to grab them when we’re trying to change your diaper or get you dressed.  A few times you’ve gotten them in your mouth but usually you just hold on to them. 

Your favorite toy: We pulled out the jumperoo a few weeks ago and at first I didn’t think you were quite ready.  You smiled when I first put you in, but only lasted a couple of minutes before the tears started.  Daddy has had better luck and you’ve stayed for nearly 45 minutes for him.  I think it helps if Chloe is around for you to watch.  We don’t use it that much, maybe once every few days.  You are still too short to touch the ground so we have to put pillows under your feet.  You really enjoy the playmat and we’ll hang new toys on it every so often for you to grab.  You like kicking one of the bars that goes over the top which then makes all of the toys swing around.  You also like touching our faces.  We’ll let you just hold onto our cheeks or our mouth and stare at us. 

Firsts:

First time sleeping through the night

First time sleeping in your own room at night

First time in the jumperoo

First time taking a bath without the sling in the tub

 

Balance

This post was sparked by a conversation with a friend tonight.  We were texting back and forth and she asked if we planned to dress the kids up for Halloween.  (This girl is single and has no kids).  I responded yes and that we might go to a few houses to let Chloe trick or treat and then I asked if she had any plans.  She said no other than working, but it got me thinking.  I haven't been to a Halloween party in years.  Since college in fact.  JJ and I love Halloween and enjoy decorating the house, or back in the day, going to parties.

I found out I was pregnant in December of 2010, had Chloe in August of 2011, managed to get through my first year as a parent only to find out I was pregnant again in October of 2012 and had Drake in May of 2013.  I'm breastfeeding currently and plan to make it as long as I can up to a year.  All that to say my social life has taken a major backseat.  We're not big partiers to begin with or big drinkers, but still enjoy going out on occasion.  I feel like I have many friends, but probably only a handful that I see on a regular basis.  There is a core group from high school that get together for things like weddings and babies, but that's about it.  Then there is a group that all goes out for First Friday's every month.  It started out just being during the summer months but we've kept it going throughout the year and that's usually JJ and I's one time to go out during the month.

We hardly ever eat out, except for First Friday's, and we have yet to hire a babysitter to watch either of our kids.  We have one friend who has watched Chloe a couple of times and then both of them once.  Now that my dad has moved back we have had him watch the kids a couple of times and JJ's mom has watched them once while he and I went out.  That's it.

I guess I'm wondering what a good balance is.  I know I need to maintain my friendships with my girlfriends.  I know JJ needs to hang out with his friends.  I know JJ and I need to go out on dates.  I know he and I each need alone time.  But how do we make it all work?  I hate leaving my kids.  Even working part time, I feel guilty thinking about ditching them for a Friday night while I go out. Add on paying for a babysitter on top of whatever entertainment expenses there are, and that makes for an expensive night to be sad about being away from my kids.

How often do you go out?  Do you have family or friends nearby that can watch your kid(s) for you or do you hire a babysitter?  Have you had someone watch your kids overnight so you can go out and then (gasp) sleep in the next morning??  I see plenty of my friends posting about date nights on FB or on their blogs and I get jealous of their time away, yet I'm too chicken to cut the cord and do it myself.  They seem to have found a good balance between being a mom and being themselves.  Now if I could just find that balance too...

The Monday Snapshot - More Memories Edition

I had mentioned a while back that two of my favorite things for my mom to do were rub/scratch my back and play with my hair.  On the rare occasions that Chloe will sit still, they have become two of my favorite things to do with her - especially running my fingers through her hair.  I can't help but think of my mom every time I do it and it puts a smile on my face.  As she gets older, I will share stories of how my mom used to do this with me and maybe she will do it with a daughter of her own down the road. 

I'm still jealous of my daughter's hair

Wordless Wednesday - My Favorite Alarm Clock

(Crappy cell phone picture through a mirror)

Another Great Weekend and Some Firsts

If this is how all of our weekends are gonna be, bring on fall!!  Since we've been up to quite a few things, this is just going to be another recap of what we did this weekend.  Friday after work I ran home to help get the kids ready to meet up with Courtney and her family for dinner.  The weather was absolutely beautiful and they got us a table on the patio, right next to a heater in case it did get a bit cool once the sun went down.  The food was good, the company was great, and all the kids behaved!!  It's such a reality check asking for a table for four adults and four kids when not all that long ago it was only two adults.  It was already 9:00 by the time we finished with dinner so we headed home and they headed back to their hotel because we had plans to meet up again the next morning.

Courtney had mentioned wanting to check out a local apple orchard.  JJ and I took Chloe to one last year, and it was the first time any of us had been to one.  We didn't have anything to compare it to, but it wasn't that...great.  This one we went to on Saturday was a hundred times better!  They had a little store where you could be cider slushies, kettle corn, there were hayrides to the apple orchard, there was an orchard dog wandering around that Chloe loved to pet, there was a pond and ducks, people throughout the lawn setting up for family picnics, it was just an all-around fun atmosphere.  And the trees were full of apples!!  We all picked some apples for awhile and snapped some pictures.  Again the weather was beautiful.

Look who I got to meet! :)

 The only pic I got of both kids together, darn it!  Pictures are a bit harder with two babies to deal with also. 

 Chloe was quite the helper loading up our bag with apples

 Showing us what she found

 See!  I'm really there!  A pic of me and my girl.

 And again!  Chloe really wanted nothing to do with pictures that day.

 They look adorable!!!

 My family...not so much.  Ha!  This is the best attempt we got.

We said our goodbyes as Courtney and her family got on the road to head home and we did the same.  We put the kids down for a nap and continued to work on painting our house.  That is a never ending project.  We were on a roll and then the hose on the paint sprayer broke bringing our motivation to a screeching halt.  So we came on in, made hamburgers for dinner, had a little bit of family time before the kids' bedtime, and then JJ and I had some cappuccino once they were down and relaxed. 

 This little mister actually refused to nap, so he got to come outside and supervise while we painted.

One of the firsts this weekend is that Drake spent his first night in his own room, in his own crib.  I've been saying for weeks now that it was time, but come bedtime, I just would always put him down in our room and say "next weekend."  Well I knew it was time so I just did it.  We got his room all straightened up and brought the glider back in there so I could nurse him.  And let me just say, it was a bit surreal all over again.  I haven't nursed him in his room since the first week we brought him home.  All we've done is change diapers and get him dressed in that room, and an occasional nap in the last couple of weeks.  I needed to find a nightlight so I could see during the night and a gift JJ's mom had bought us popped into my mind.  It was one I just glanced at when I opened it and it went directly into a closet.  But after last night, as I sat there nursing Drake before bed with just the glow of this gift, it became my favorite piece in the room.

How sweet is that? It gives off just enough glow and I think the saying is so sweet.

  Sound asleep.  And yes, I let him sleep with his blanket. 

So yeah, it was a bit emotional just because it was (in theory) marking the last time a baby will ever sleep in my bedroom.  I was able to sit there in the quiet room looking around at all the things that made it not just a guest room anymore, but a nursery.  My son's nursery.  And here he is in his own room now.  Anyway, so that was that.  And he did great!  He woke up at 3:30 fussing quietly so I got up and put the pacifier in his mouth.  He spit it out and layed there for a while, then would start fussing again.  I went back in three times and it took him 40 minutes to go back to sleep but that was mainly my fault.  I wanted to see what he would do and if he could settle himself so I waited a while before going back in each time.  He slept until 7:15 this morning and woke up smiling and talking to himself.  Wonderful!  I love waking up to a happy, talking baby (and toddler).

A little blurry, but all smiles

The other first is that Drake has found his feet.  It's so cute watching him stare at his feet so intently like if he doesn't move his face, his feet will magically jump into his mouth. He can't quite get them into his mouth just yet, but he's content enough just holding them in his hands.  

JJ had to work today...we are beginning to see a pattern of him having to work Saturday nights/Sundays and Mondays....so it was me and the kids today.  Drake went down for his first nap as Chloe was waking up for the day, so I used her breakfast time to make a treat from the apples we picked yesterday.  I made an apple crisp and it turned out awesome!  

 Mmmm, yes please!

After Drake woke up we played in the house a little bit.  I was feeding Drake in the living room when I heard a huge crash from Chloe's room.  She has started pushing her little rocking chair up to her dresser and standing on it, and she fell the other day, so I thought that's what had happened.  As I was running up to her room though, I didn't hear her making any noise which freaked me out.  Had she passed out, been knocked unconscious, what the hell had happened??  I walked in and found this. 

I have no idea how it happened, but I was thanking my lucky stars that JJ had hung those Christmas lights because I think that was the only thing saving us from a near disaster.  She was just find thank God, but I think a little scared because of the noise.  Looks like we need to secure those bookshelves to the wall pronto.  We've talked about it before, but they are three separate sections and I'm not quite sure how to do it yet.  If nothing else, we'll just take them out of her room.

So yeah, after that little excitement, the three of us went for a walk and got attacked by grasshoppers.  I hate any bug but ones that fly and jump on you...no way!  Chloe on the other hand was in heaven running down the gutters chasing them.  She walked the whole way which was close to about a mile and Drake fell asleep in the Ergo.  We came back and had lunch, both kids took a nap, and I caught up on blogging and watched the Chiefs game (Go Chiefs!!!!!).  Tonight will be low key with a bunch of good shows on.  Oh how I kind of miss the days when I could just veg on the couch and watch hours and hours of tv shows.  At least I have a DVR so I can catch up during my down time! :)