So much to learn!

I have continued to learn more things about pregnancies that I never knew before. Like the baby goes to the bathroom in the womb and ends up drinking it, the baby is hairy for quite a while, and that it is a more gradual welcoming into this world for the baby if it's during a water birth. I even asked the stupid question of do babies breathe in the womb, and how do they know to take a breath once they are born. I quickly learned that babies get their oxygen and nutrients from the umbilical cord and they do not breathe until they are born. Good to know!

I also learned more about terminating pregnancies, still births and inducing labor. A friend of a friend found out that her baby has Trisomy 18 and that the baby could die in the womb any day now. After going through something similar with another friend, I think it's better for everyone involved if they have to induce labor and deliver a still born. I couldn't imagine having to deal with that though! I have two other friends that are due in the next few weeks so I'll be anxious to hear their stories. So much to learn!

Babies, Babies Everywhere

Two of my friends have had their first babies in the last few days and they are absolutely adorable! One was a home birth and the other was a hospital birth. I have such anxieties about hospitals that I can see how a home birth could be much more calming and relaxing, but at the same time, I'd be afraid I'd pass out or have some medical emergency right in the middle of the delivery and something could go very wrong. I guess I have more anxieties about that than I do a hospital birth where at least I know I am in the safest place. My other friend is about half way through with her pregnancy and I love hearing the details about what her body is going through, what she is feeling, doctors appointments, etc. It's funny, before JJ and I got engaged, anytime one of my friends got engaged first I would tell him about it - to kind of prod him along. Then once we got engaged, the topic of discussion was guess who got married this weekend? Now, I've noticed the topic of discussion has switched to guess who's pregnant or who just had their baby? We watched Marley and Me the other day and we both sobbed at the end when the dog had to be put down because we are such dog lovers. Our dogs are our kids right now and they are spoiled rotten. Then last week on Grey's Anatomy a child had cancer and her dad was doing everything he could think of to save her. In her last few minutes, the dad finally relaxed, climbed into bed with his daughter, and held her in his arms while she passed. I looked over at JJ and he had a tear coming down his face. He is not an emotional guy at all so to see him react that way makes me think he is getting closer to being ready to be a daddy himself. He (and I too) can only compare that kind of feeling to our animals right now, so the thought that he is warming up to children is a good sign. Guess we'll find out when that day comes, but I like watching the changes in him as we grow together as a couple.

Just the Beginning

So today marks the day that I have finally decided to start a blog. I have had my account for a while, but didn't know what I was going to say. I get hooked on others blogs, so I figured it was about time for my own. This past weekend was Easter. After spending the day with JJ and making our first attempt at homemade potato rolls, we were pooped Friday night. Saturday I got a call that I was late to Easter brunch - which I thought was supposed to be Sunday. I rushed over to my cousin's and was able to spend some time with the family. Sunday night I found out that a few hours after I had left my cousin's she was in church and started to have chest pains. They called an ambulance and she has been in the hospital ever since with a blood clot in her lungs. She is in her earlier 40's and has no obvious reasons of why she would have a blood clot. I decided to go visit her today after work. She was at Menorah hospital which is where my mom had her mastectomy 8 years ago - I can't believe it's been that long. I walked in the same door I did years ago and passed the waiting room where my dad and I sat waiting for the news that the surgery was over and they got all the cancer. Even walking through the wing with all the patient rooms, I just kept remembering when my mom was there. I only stayed about 20 minutes because a nurse came in and wanted to do some more tests on my cousin. I have this weird fascination with hospitals, but I can't stand being in them.

Now that JJ and I have talked about starting a family and we have decided that we want to try soon, I no sooner think I am ready mentally and then a visit to the hospital makes all my doubts come back. I just don't think I can handle being a patient in a hospital, even if it is for a few days when we bring our new bundle of joy into this world. Hopefully over the next few months my anxieties of being pregnant, and all the doctors, and pokes and prodding, and hospital stays will subside and I will be able to enjoy the day I find out I have a little being inside of me.