Only time will tell

Till today, I still wonder if this is the right decision that I had make.

I am back!

I want to remember the clear blue skies, 

the happy memories we have had... Thank you for being part of my life once before. 

The last 8 months has not been easy. I have adapted though, at least I feel I have done whatever I can to make it less painful to move on. Work has been keeping me busy. Half the weekends are spent in KL with him. Free time was precious and I would try to make every little bit of it well spent. Other than spending time on the race tracks, I picked up a new hobby, golf. I am still very much a beginner but trying real hard. In the next few months, I hope to find some time to do some philanthropy work. It's time for me to give back.

I did a trip to Japan with the family during the Chinese New Year. It was nice and relaxing. Relaxing is subjective. My idea of relaxing is to busy myself reading maps and getting lost in big cities. It took my mind off work and other matters. 

Disneyland: The happiest place on earth. At that point in time, it was also the coldest place on earth.

An evening shot of Mount Fuji overlooking Kawaguchiko Lake.

The unfortunate thing is that I have gained quite a bit of weight which I need to get rid off. Exercise regime is in the pipeline. 

In summary, I am back, much stronger than before, much bigger than before. 

It gets harder to let go each time...

I didn't realise this until yesterday.

Each time whenever we say good bye, it gets harder and harder to let him go. It came to the point that I teared yesterday....

Typing this entry now, reminds me of the sadness and my eyes are wet again... *sigh*

When one loses something important in life....

I miss the girls a lot but there are things that weren't change.

 

I have said hurtful things to them right from the beginning and there's no way this can ever be repaired again...

 

I hate to explain myself for anything that I have done and I tried to this time. It came to a point that whatever I say or do will come across more negative than positive. If I am in their shoes, I will wonder if this girl is truly remorseful at all. As a result, I made an conscious effort to stay away from them. No matter how sorry I feel that I have messed up, it's just never enough in my own eyes.

 

Seriously, 11 years of friendship going down the drain is not funny at all. It feels like a break up. Really awful if you need to know... it's like everytime I pass by certain places, I will suddenly remember something from before or at a certain restaurant, I will remembered where we have sat before, the food we have ordered etc. Some memories are carved so deep inside that it is impossible to erase but to remember that such moments will never occur again..

 

Without them, quite a few times when I laugh in a group, there will be a moment that I wonder if I am really laughing. Am I really that happy? Nope, and I stopped laughing..

 

I guess only by this way will that ease my guilt towards these girls...

Day 3- Atlantic City

This is by far the most most stressful day of all!

After breakfast, we went outlet shopping! We have only got 2.5hrs to shop as we needed to get into Philadelphia early. And so..... In 2.5hrs, I managed to blow more than 1000 bucks in Coach, Crocs and Lacoste. *sigh* I am not going to shop for the rest of the year.

We managed to get into Philly with time to spare for an evening stroll. To save some money on accommodations, we decided go stay in Apple Hostel in the old city of Philadelphia. It has been a long time since any of us stayed in a hostel. The last time we did that was in Melaka last year, where we decided to postpone the Us trip to this year, and went to Tibet instead. Hahaha...

Apple Hostel is very well-run. Clean and spacious even in the 10 pax dorm. Good security too.

We took a stroll South along Society Hill. It's filled with loads of restored houses that were homes to prominent American political figures. We chanced upon South Street which filled with the smell of fried onions!! It's home to the original Philly Cheesesteaks! Jim's queue was too long so we settled for 'SOS- Steak On South. Nice but portion was Humongous!