~~
It's the last month of the year again.. I haven't been in this space for a really long time. Growing old is not something i am looking forward to right now. Ageing is something i'm dreading so much about. When we were much younger, we wish to grow old faster. When we were studying, we wish to step in the workforce as quick as possible. When we step into the workforce, we wish we were still in school studying & having the 3 months holiday breaks in between. When we grow old, we wish we were forever 21. Life. It's actually kind of scary to know that you're growing older & older each day. Frowning at every dec each year. The dreams we used to have seems so distants. Our priorities have changed dramatically and we have to embrace a different kind of lifestyle from what we had wanted it to be. I'm not used to it & i doubt i can ever get used to it. I hate growing old..
9:26 AM
~I wish for more time~
Right at the start of 2011, i'm feeling so tight with my schedule every single day.. I barely had much time for myself to sit down & watch all my favourite shows & dramas. Each day after work is either meeting the contractors to get good quotations & to see their workmanship, or to try to incorporate some form of exercise into my already packed schedule, or to try to get some of the wedding preparations to start rolling.. *gosh* i really wished i had more time.. Especially this week..... I needa to get an ethnic costume for D&D this sat (4 days left), hit the gym, meet up with one of the contractors to view the new house, my first ever (super delayed) gown fitting/choosing (hopefully i can find something i like & suits me on that very day, to save me more headache), the search for wedding bands, to start my search for wedding shoes, to do my CNY shopping, to head down to the hairdresser for a trim, to collect some items from my aunt (which has been delayed for the longest time ever).. gosh.. I would have all the time if i could head off in-between my job (like the past), but no, i can't.. & thinking back, i really do miss the flexibility of the previous job i had.. =(( Anw, i could only use my so little time after work to try to run all the errands & appointments.. well, i realy hope i had more time.. =(
In 2 weeks time, CNY will arrive.. Somehow i wished i could stay in sg to celebrate this festive season and have some time to catch up with all my cousins & relatives (cause it was 987654321 years ago since i last saw them.. =x).. But no, i still have to head off to somewhere else.. Then again, i should look forward to the freaking long BKK trip right after cny.. where massage, Spa, yummy food and shopping awaits me.. Till then.. =)
9:49 AM
~My wishlist~
should have put this up before xmas.. lolx..
<3 A pillow/cushion to support my back during work in office
<3 A straightening iron
<3 A curling iron
<3 A smart formal jacket
<3 A trip to the saloon to cut & colour my hair
<3 A pair of wedding shoes
5:01 PM
~another year end post~
It seems like i've just blogged about the post summarizing 2009, and now i'm gonna do a post for 2010.. i can't believe that a year has just past like this.. sighx.. old old old!!!!!
Anw, this year was pretty much peaceful, nothing too exciting happened.. perhaps something did happened..
Firstly, I'm engaged, & being someone's fiancee is just.... .... nothing different from being his gf.. haha.. We've bought a very expensive house, but yet to get the keys although the second appointment was long before we left for US. And we are very happy together and enjoying each other's company to the max every time we are togther, and we are together almost every other day.. & it will only get better.. =)
Secondly, I left a job i like with full of freedom and flexibility, took a 2 months break and started to work at my fiance's family business thereafter. Things are still great till date, but i miss the freedom and the flexibility i had (also the pay).. But, i'll endure and work hard in my current job, as i believe the returns in the near future will be higher.. (at least i'll be working with him in the same company) =P
Thirdly, I travelled quite abit this year.. First, in Jan to Kuching (Company's retreat), then to BKK for shopping spree, next in Feb to malacca (for cny), another trip to malacca in Jun with the perps, Hong Kong trip with my mum in July, the last malacca trip of 2010 with my parents, and finally the long trip to san francisco, monterey, LA, Grand Canyon and vegas.. I love travelling and holidaying.. who doesn't? lolx.
Fourthly, the prices of COE is rising higher & higher & higher, which also means, if i sell off my car, i'll be alot richer.. haha.. some comforting words for myself, as i've been struggling very very hard to be paying a huge part of my take home salary for the car loans every single month.
Fifthly, i spent 10.10.10 with him, our long 4 years ago pre-set date, eating pasta & pizza at a nice cosy restuarant.. =P
In short, i had a great 2010, & i too hope you had a great one, if not better.. =)
In 2011, (as usual to set goals and aims) i'll start my renovation for my new house & move in to live in it.. Throw many house warming parties and have many late night mj.. Buy an oven & experiment baking once every month.. I'll also marry my fiance.. (these will definitely come true.. lolx..)
I'll pick up new sports, perhaps golf? anyone? I'll exercise more & reduce the fat layers in my body.. And i aim not to overeat!!
Go for more holiday trips next year.. Batam in Jan, Malacca, Phuket/Krabi & Bkk in Feb.. Hopefully can add in redang before or after my wedding.. Honeymoon in Europe/Alaska.. And hopefully got more impromtu holiday trips coming up.. =) India?? Papua new guinea? Let's hope for the best!! =)
For career wise, i hope to be able to handle more stuffs & learn more new stuffs.. To increase my efficiency and accuracy even more, so that i can handle increasing piles of stuffs.. And also to head out to meet clients.. *cross fingers* i want my freedom & flexibility in work!!! lolx..
Lastly, I'll learn to be a good fiancee/wife too, & let my fiance/husband dote on me and bring me go shopping and travel even more often.. lolx.. May we always be deeply in love, happy, sweet and loving always... forever!! <3
I hope mine and your 2011 wishes/dreams/aims will all come true...
4:00 PM
~I'm back....~
The long holiday break was a blast.. but the post-trip effect was terrible.. Very terrible..
Touched down on 11/12/10 @ 1am. Sleep @ 4.30am & woke up @ 7am. Fell asleep @ 7pm & was woken up by Mr @ 9pm for dinner. It took me a good 10 mins to realise that i was sleeping in my room & it's time for dinner. (I actually thought i was in the hotel in US, & was trying to figure out which hotel we were at. & was thinking that Mr was so hungry after he woke up that he needs to wake me up & lie to me that it's dinner time instead of bfast.) That was how bad that i couldn't even tell the difference. lolx.. Caught a midnight show after dinner & slept at 3am (12/12/10). Woke up at 7.30am & couldn't sleep any more. Concussed at 9pm & woke up at 3am (13/12/10).
So can someone tell me how to adjust my body clock back?? It's just too crazy.. I'm seriously sleep deprive yet i wake up at abnormal hours. What can i do to ease my jetlag & tune back my bio clock??
And i think i miss US so much that i dreamt about myself still back in US holidaying every single night since i'm back.. =( O my i really need some help for my post holiday withdrawal syndrome.. *double sighx*
4:27 PM
~smile~
As i grow older, i started to drift off from blogging. This little blog of mine not only provides me some space to vent my fustrations, it also allows me to pause for a moment in my life to reflect on myself as a whole. And as i crease blogging, i stopped taking out some time to think about what has been going on in my life.
I'm thankful, in fact very thankful for my almost perfect life i'm living now.. What i define as perfect here is not the kind of perfect you are thinking. I am not wealthy, not living in huge & expensive houses, not driving a maserati or lamborghini, not having a perfect kind of bf whom will be labelled as perfect in most people's eyes, not having the best job in the world, and the list goes.. Instead, i am considered pretty fortunate to have my life running on track on what i had planned or wished for. I've graduated from uni, found a pretty decent paid job, got myself a car, getting married before 27, having my own house, rigid plans to set up my family before 30, & the list goes. And i really hope this smooth sailing life of mine will always continue to be blissful for as long as i live. =P Although to many, this may be just a normal life cycle and there is nothing to be very proud of, instead i should be having bigger dreams in my life. But everyone live their lives differently, what is on the top list of yours may be at the bottom of mine. Yes, i do have bigger dreams on how to increase the quality of my life, but i would want to attain my fundemental life quality before i reach out for bigger dreams, a step at a time. I want to learn to be easily contented with what i have, in order to live a happier life instead of an always-not-satisfied-stressed-packed life trying to reach out for all the big dreams and missing out on all the other stuffs.
I want to be happy.
That's what i've always wished for during my birthdays. If i had another wish, I would secretly wished for great health for my whole family & I. Sounds like Ms Universe wishing on "world peace" right? =X
Sidetrack abit. I really am very curious what kind of bday wishes people make. An Hermes bag? A luxurious car? Big house? To be a millionaire? A promotion? A wife? A baby? Perhaps i'm quite sketical about making these wishes and them being fulfilled at the same time. I'm not saying that bday wishes will not come true, but rather even if it comes true, the other expects of your life is compromised will you still love your life? Perhaps i'm more matured in this sense, or maybe i'm not the kind of person who only want certain things in life. I would prefer a more balanced life. Don't get me wrong, I still do want branded bags, expensive cars, big houses, etc, but I acknowledged that these are all my wants. Whether i have them or not, i need to be happy, I can't rely only on these to make me happy. Hence, my wish is always to be happy. Perhaps i'm a greedy girl, making this broad statement equates to many things. Or perhaps i'm someone who don't know what I want in life, hence I can't wish sepcifically for something that I want. =P
3:32 PM
~my love-hate r/s with driving~
I hate motorbikes who come in swamps & obstructing me from changing lanes
I love to drive alone
I hate road hoggers
I love to cut people's lane when i'm late
I hate vans/trucks who drive on the first lane of expressway (mind your speed limit)
I love to drive pass sports car
I hate JAMS
I love to drive with my music full blast
I hate motorbikes who drive in front of me slowly
I love to drive on expressway with no speed limit
I hate ERPS
I love to speed
I hate drivers who cut my lane
I love to speed
I hate egoistic drivers
I love to speed
5:09 PM
~ A new phrase of my life~
Just 6 days ago was Teachers' Day. The funny thing was that my current student messaged me to wish me happy teachers' day, and my previous student posted a fb msg for me, thanking me. The feelingwas great. although i know at times i'm not a gd teacher, i'm still glad i did change their lives in a way or another. I've been teaching tuition for a long time, about 7 years? And i have taught more than 12 students through these years. Just as i'm thinking of ending my teaching days, as i want to put my entire focus onto the job, the greetings of my students actually set me pondering if i should stop or to continue. I'm actually considered very lucky to have met 2 very nice families who gave me the opportunities to teach their children year after year, allowing me to earn extra pocket money especially during my uni days. I love teaching, but now my priorities have changed. Perhaps in the future when i'm tired of the corporate ladder?
It's coming to the end of my two months break. Initially, two months break felt long to me, but now i can't believe that it's ending. Although i haven't accomplised things i aim to, i did hav a good rest, in fact alot of rest. I'll still continue to look forward to the day when i can sleep at wee hours and wake up in the noon (but i doubt it'll come anytime soon). New job scope for me, in an entirely different kind of working environment, facing new challenges aand issues, and yet i'm still quite clueless on what i'll be doing for the new job. Let's cross our fingers..
Something exciting and for me to look forward to.. I'll be going to US in nov. Gotta stock up on my winter clothings and buy a huge luggage. The more i research the places i'll wanna go and the places i wanna shop, the more i can't wait to set my foot there. Till then... =)
4:07 PM
~awwwww.... missing dancing~
I was browsing through my childhood photos recently and i came across photos of my dancing days.. i took some moments off to refresh my memories.. & i didn't know i am missing dancing so much.. As i can remember, i started my first ballet lesson when i was 6 years old. I took classes and exams till i was 17-18 years old.. O my, it was truly a good 11-12 years. I've struggled through thoughts of giving up dancing, and at certain point of my life i really hate it as it sucked up all my weekends. i often wonder why i can't be like other kids slacking and watching tv at home, why must i go for dancing class.. But i still survived.. Although I've stopped taking up further classes since the last exams, i still went back dancing occasionally and preparing for some performance.. but since i dunno when, i've stopped going for lessons.. i've stopped contacting all my dancemates.. And suddenly, i miss wearing my ballet flats, i miss wearing my pointe, i miss wearing the leotards and long skirts, i miss dancing soo much.. if only i can turn back time... I'll definitely do a better job..
1:44 AM
~it has been loooonnnnnnnngggggggggggg...~
Sad to say, blogging is not part & parcel of my life anymore.. The last post i had was many months ago & yet i felt that it was pretty recent. hmmmm. Like i say, what's new?? When you start to set your footing into the workforce, time just zoom pass without you knowing it. one day, two days, 1 week, 1 month, & followed by years.. it's just impossible to keep track of time. But thankfully, i'm getting a short time off from the working life, savouring my short break before the next rush. For those who have yet to know, I've resigned from my previous job and awaiting for the next one which i will only commence my work probably in mid Sept??
Also, another news to update those who happened to be reading this.. I'm engaged!! Will probably be holding our wedding sometime in next yr june.. We've already booked the bridal studio.. Searched for our banquet & recently paid the deposit.. & ended our tedious search for our ideal first home, so now we are settling all the paperwork.. If nothing goes wrong, we should be getting our house sometime in Jan next yr for the commencement of the renovation.. Next thing on our list is to get the wedding bands.. & yet another search begins... =P
As i browsed throught facebook, i notice that many frenz of my age are engaged, planning for the wedding bells, buying their ideal house and rom-ing.. I thot i was pretty early in settling down, but apparently i'm not.. time flies.. I've now reached the age where most of the people are getting hitched. =P
A few posts before this, i was talk about about my upcoming hong kong trip, which was in 2009.. & now i'm back from my 2010 hong kong trip with my mum.. spent alot.. walked alot.. it was a 5 days 4 night trip & i came to learn more things about my mum which for the past 25 years i was ignorant of. =X I hope to have more of such trips & bondings with my family in time to come.. =)
12:37 PM
~the ZZZ Monster~
I'm sure everyone in certain point in their lives would have experience fighting with the ZZZ monster. I'm someone who is famous for slping in class and lectures during my schooling days, with my super unglam pose. For as long as i can remember, i really hate it when u're already feeling soo tired & yet you just have to go through that struggle to try to stay awake throughout the entire lesson. This is one of the toughest thing for me and i can't describe how much i hated this feeling. And i hate to admit that I'm fighting with it almost every morning i drive to work for the past few months (or as long as i can remember). Yes, you didn't get it wrong --> DRIVING!! I know it's an uber dangerous thing especially with the morning jams, but it is not exactly within my control. I drove without knowing what is on the road, I drove with my soul still in lalaland, I drove with my eyes closed. Thank god nothing had happened to me. Becoz it's such a familar route, it didn't require me to pay alot of attention to what's on the road. Becoz there are tons of traffic lights and jams that in just a split sec of me shutting my eyes, i flew back to my lalaland, with my gear still in drive mode. And the next moment i heard my alarm clock ringing, the honking of the cars behind me, i woke up and had to speed up to catch up with the cars ahead. I hate to battle with this torturous monster, who will haunt me every morning. Even though I tried to change my sleeping patterns, I'm still not able to overthrown him. Darn him. Screw him. Perhaps i'm just not a morning person, and I can never be one.
10:02 PM
~last 4 days of 2009~
It has been a really long time since i last pen down an entry here. I wasn't exactly very busy with work, neither was i very engaged in my life. I was just plain lazy. =P
Just a short post on my life in 2009. =)
Basically 2009 is just another year for me. I wasn't exactly having alot of ups & downs, or having alot of hiccups. So was this good or bad?? lolx.. The start of the year was alot of uncertainties being on the verge of unempolyed. But after a month plus of worrying, i've gotten myself a perm job. And i've got a huge hurdle to cross and face my own challenges on the upcoming new job. A number of decision was made and I've braved myself to live thru it. Bonding with new colleagues, new company, and new job scope, I started to like my job more & more, and time just fly pass so fast that i wasnt able to keep track of it. Then, at a certain point of time, my aim was shakey, as everything comes to a stagnant.
In this year, I've been seeing mr dearie very very frequent. I kinda like this, but I'm not too sure if it is really healthy for the r/s. Of coz there are ups & downs, but the amplitude has reduced significantly.
& Back to myself. I realised that I've changed quite abit. In terms of mindset, in terms of character.
In 2010, i really hope to enjoy life to the fullest. I want to excel in my job. I want to experience new things in life. I want to meet up my frenz more frequently. I want to have fulfilment, such that at every end of the day, i can really declare that it has been a great day. =) Age is catching up, if i don't try new stuffs now, i might not be able to do so very soon. =P
Have a great x'mas and new year ahead!! =)
love,
Blandy
10:06 PM
~monday bluez~
just a few more minutes before the start of another brand new week..
& i'm here dreading work.. how i wish weekend is longer... suddenly, i'm missing the days before i started working..
i missed the late night sleeps.. i missed waking up to the afternoon sun.. i missed wearing causal tees and shorts on a weekday.. i missed not putting on make-ups.. i missed slacking.. i missed spending more time with people whom i care abt.. i missed the simplier life that i used to lived..
& the only thing that is keeping me alive is the payroll at the end of every month...
welcome to the boring cycle of working life bland!!! -_-""
11:53 PM
~busy.. exhuasted.. pissed.. lousy..~
I've been back from HK for almost 2 weeks. Yet, i haven't really had a good rest since ages. HK was supposed to be a fun thrilling trip, but no one has predicted that i'll fall sick just the night before my departure. dammit!! And i was ill thoughout my entire trip. -_-""
Since the trip till now, work has been piling for me. tuition has been piling up for me too. exams are coming up.. work events are all round the corner.. i wish i had had a better break.
Certain unhappy things happened at work today. i do not wish to comment much. But, i'm starting to understand how things work.. what hypocrite people can do.. how sweet tongue can work wonders.. how unprofessional some people can be.. why bootlicking can result in promotion.. i'm still a greenhorn and i don't believe in all these things.. but i'm afraid in due time, i'll be influenced by these.. contradicting, i know.. i hope i'll still be the same me in time to come..
~Random~
I've always looked forward to this.. I've always imagined it to happen.. I've anticipated it for the longest time ever.. but when it really do happen, i get cold feets.. i chicked out.. i ponder.. i start to worry.. i start to feel that it's still early.. i paused.. but with a grin..
That's life i suppose.. =X
11:19 PM
~HK in 2 days?~
time flies isn't it? the last post was in june & now sept is arriving. -_-""
the long awaited trip that i've been waiting for since the beginning of this yr is finally here soon. i can't wait to step my foot over there, away from this monotonous working life.. BUT BUT.. i've tons of work & events to clear before my long deserved break.. =P
events after events, and work is never ending.. but till now, i still pretty much enjoyed what i'm doing. =)
till then!!!
10:29 PM
~random~
How has life been for everyone??
Life for me has been pretty much the same. Juggling between work and life. Stress is getting onto me when this quarter is coming to an end very soon. Targets.. targets & more targets to meet.. =P And basically i can forget that I haven't had my lunch until dinner time. It happened twice this week, and this is super unhealthy!!! =X Also, nowadays I'm either falling asleep whenever i watch tv, DVD or movies, or right at the moment i closed my eyes when i lie on my bed, or my mind is so preoccupied that i can't have my proper sleep.. Sad isn't it? And i'm so sorry for leaving dearie to be watching the DVDs and movies all by himself, like he has always compained.. o man, i really need some good rest..
I'm so glad it's june holidays now. Reason being, the traffic is less jammed up in the morning, and also dearie can have bfast with me before heading to work.. =)
Counting down to another 2.5 months, i'll be pampering myself with good food & shopping in HK.. I can't wait to have my short break from everything especially this monotonous life between work and home!! HK trip will be my current motivation.. =P Let's work towards it!!
Side tracking, it's June NOW.. half of 2009 has just went past without me knowing it.. OMY!! I feel damn old now.. *sulk* I really need to pump in more excitement into my life...
Some updates of my life as below =P :
Dearie's Bday celebrations @ some gaming room.. + a new member into the group!!
Dearie's bday celebration @ flyer + dinner..
my bday @ some ululuu steak house..
the old reddie and the new reddie member..
Good night folks!! till then..
10:00 PM
JUST THE GIRL
08 maY
graduate
jobless
Wants:
to stay blissful & happy
viT M
more office wear
good health
a good & interesting well-paid job
DREAM deStiNatiOns :
sOuth aFriCa
maLdiVes
vOiCes
frienDs
eRiCa
eRioL
fLorA
HuiXiAn
pAuLenE
PeGGy
rOsaLine
suyi
weiBin
weiMin
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