Following his successful cancer

surgery, Rob Ford could only

communicate by means of 

hand signals.  One Thumb Up

meant "I'm still alive!"  Two

Thumbs Up meant "Fire up

the crack pipe!"

"Goochy goochy goo!"

Rob Ford Doing His Chris Farley Impression

Toronto Mayor Apologizes for Shopping for Neckties

After Smoking Crack

Toronto residents were relieved to learn

today that Rob Ford, their mayor, had

smoked crack while in a drunken stupor,

not while cold sober.

Chris Christie of the South

Chris Christie of the North

Rob Ford to Stay as Toronto Mayor, Will Cut Alcohol 

Consumption to Only Three Moosehead, Two Molson,

 and One Labatt Per Diem

"Get off my driveway!"

"But, Mayor Ford, this is a public street."

"Like I said before, 'Get off my driveway!'"

Asked what job David Price (shown here)

had been hired to do, Toronto mayor Rob

Ford said, "Director of the Office of

Logistics and Blow Drying."

Would you buy a used crack pipe from this man?

Who Moved Rob Ford's Crack Pipe?