Chuck Hagel Meets His Replacement

as Secretary of Defense

“Is Joe McCarthy someone you admire?”

”I’m not going to engage in the back and forth 

and the attacks.”

"Chuck Hagel and the Harvard Law School 

faculty will be surprised to hear that."

OK, so Chuck Hagel could not have had a cozy relationship 

with 'Friends of Hamas', because that group didn't exist.  

But what about 'Friends of Hummus'?  It does.

Learning that Ben Shapiro had been punked by imaginary 

agents from the chimerical 'Friends of Hamas' gave Chuck 

Hagel a bad case of the Soopy Sads.

Mean Muley McGrudge always hated it when 

reporters asked him whether he was an 

Aggressively Non-Interventionist Anti-Hagelian, 

a Belligerently Neutral Anti-Hagelian, or just

hungry for a Paula Deen Tuna Burger.

Chuck Hagel will think twice before he crosses

Mean Muley McGrudge again.

Flabbergasted Hagel Filibustered by Flibbertigibbets

Tail-Gunner Ted Does What Comes Natural,

Goes Over the Line and Impugns Chuck

Hagel's Patriotism

McCain Goes Off on Hagel's Under-Eye Bags

Back in 1991, when he was 21, Ted Cruz was such an

ardent fan of the military that he didn't get around

to serving in the first Gulf War.  In 2013, Ted is so

belligerent that he's criticizing Chuck Hagel and 

John Kerry---who share five Purple Hearts between

them---for not being as ardent a fan of the military

as he is.

"Hold on, Barack, I've got a better one. A priest, a rabbi,

and a pocket gopher go into a bar . . ."

Rich Old White Men Call for a

'Government of National Unity',

a New Vision of the Body Politic

"Of course I back the Bloomberg/Hagel ticket of

the Fucking Crazy Party. Who do you think I am?"