Since the days of the Renaissance, it had been customary for

artists to depict God the Father as a benevolent old man with 

a beard.  In more modern times, God the Father was still 

thought of as an old man with a beard.  But, he was no

 longer benevolent, having become a bankster.

Shard of Shattered Economy Momentarily Blinds Chairman

of the Federal Reserve; Thankfully, His Injury Is Not

Thought to Be Life-Threatening

Just seconds before he dozed off, Ben Bernanke said,

"Recovery is close to, uh, to . . . fal-ter-ing."

Fed Tries 'Operation Twit' to Spur Growth

"Listen, you little twerp!  One more crack about me being

Al Gore's Texas cheerleader and I'll groom you like Ben

Bernanke's beard!"

"Remember what I said about Ben Bernanke and stay

out of Texas, Frothy!"

To a crowd in Iowa, Rick Perry said if Ben Bernanke

 "prints more money between now and the election I don't

know what you'all would do to him in Iowa but we would

treat him pretty ugly down in Texas."  For those of us

Texans old enough to remember, this is the same 

sort of poisonous rhetoric that incited a crowd to

assault UN Ambassador Adlai Stevenson in Dallas

on October 24, 1963, and that created the toxic

atmosphere in which JFK was assassinated

on a Dallas street on November 22, 1963.

Chairman of Federal Reserve Considering

Appeal to Thousand-Handed Goddess of

Mercy to Help Accelerate Slow-Growth

Economic Recovery

"Hard to believe, but when I prepare my economic forecasts,

I use the same magic crystal spectacles Joseph Smith used

to translate The Book of Mormon."

Fed Chairman Sends Unmistakable Message to

Would-Be Congressional Watchdogs

FEDERAL RESERVE CHAIRMAN USES HANDS TO
BLOCK RELEASE OF U.S. BAILOUT SECRETS

"Ben Bernanke failed to recognize or remedy the factors

that paved the road to this dark and difficult recession.

Following our economic collapse, it is also apparent

that he has not changed his overall approach to

prioritizing Wall Street over American families.

That's why he richly deserves to be named Time's

'Person of the Year'."

Ben Bernanke Named 'Bankster of the Year';
Tiger Woods Named 'Sexual Athlete of the Year';
Papuan Tribesman Named 'Body Piercer of the Year'

Ben Bernanke: Is He Extremely Misvaluated?

Bernanke Says Recession "Very Likely Over," Despite a
Rumor to the Contrary Being Spread by 15.6 Million
Unemployed Americans

"Can money buy happiness? Well, Scott, it all depends on
whether it costs more than $29.95 a pound, or if you run
short of money first."

Larry Summers was next in line to succeed
Ben Bernanke as head of the Federal Reserve.
But he overslept.

Fed Chief Sends Strong Signal to U. S.

"Goldman Sachs' $3.44 billion profit for the second quarter
is right on time. We did good, Ben, we did good. We did even
better than Hank Paulson did."

"Just because I'm the Chairman of the Federal Reserve
Board and one of the most powerful people on Earth
doesn't mean I know why I can grow hair on the bottom
of my head and not the top, or why God thought it wise
to allow Henry Paulson to be Secretary of the Treasury."