cause i'm young and i'm hopeless...
My laptop died-ed on me again. And this time, I was frustrated to the max. Project deadlines are just around the corner and without a lappy, I am as good as dead.
Dad took it better than me. He told me to call Courts and send the lappy back to them as soon as possible. He actually said school was important.
In the meantime, I'll have to use the Compaq laptop Dad bought previously when my lappy
the first time. I'm actually hoping that the Acer won't heal but what a waste to all my stuff in there. The pictures, videos, games and those oh-so-precious memories! *breaks down and cry*
I'm somewhat happy that my mates and I are going to see Cik Lina a.k.a. the Mother of my 'brothers'. Anyway, it's been a while since I last saw her and the gang of course, so I think in a way, tomorrow will be a great day. Except for the part where I have to come back home to do projects and tutorials.
to shoot the lecturers....
mew...
♥Saturday, October 25, 2008;
9:35 AM
shoots head...
I haven't felt this tired in a long while. And no matter how I try, I feel like I'm losing it already. I'm getting like 3-4 hours of sleep every night. I'm working in the weekends. And all that's in my head is the looming projects I wish would cease to exist.
Somebody do something, ANYTHING. Shoot the lecturers, burn the school, ANYTHING. I just want to sink in my bed for a full week and not think about anything.
God, I know I'm being selfish. But I really need a break right now. I don't want to have to quit now. Arson, my supervisor already has enough problems at hand, he doesn't deserve this.
And I'm not spending enough time with my sisters!!! *shoots own head*
I wanna go back to Suki Sushi and eat plate, after plate, after plates of sushi. And then rush to the arcade for some Daytona and Time Crisis...
The stars will cry, the blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for, I can smell the ocean air
Here I am, pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly, exactly what I need
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our Dying Day
For a second I wished the time
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face if you were here
Swear i won't miss a beat as i never, never have before
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our Dying Day
Of our Dying day, Of our Dying - Day
Of our Dying day
For a second I wished the time
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our Dying Day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our Dying Day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our Dying Day
Our Dying Day
Of our DYING!!!
serenity is in this song....
mew...
♥Thursday, October 23, 2008;
11:46 AM
do i go left or right??
I came home quite late last night. I dropped by the store to pick my bags up. It's the first time I bought bags and I actually forget to take them home. I must really be losing it...
Anyway, the sweetest thing happened. LoL.=)
Cutie was working today at the store. Partially the reason why I waited til yesterday to pick it up instead of either Monday or Tuesday. I reached the store in the last half an hour before the store closes. And Cutie having JUST learnt how to use the cashier, had trouble with credit card payments. So I had to rush in and help him out. Haha! So cute! >.<
And he kept looking at my boobs! He said it was a natural reaction since I'm super short compared to him so he has to always look down on me. Not to mention the fact that I was wearing my new **** bra. =D
So I waited until the shop closed so we could all go back together. It was raining still last night. And I hadn't an umbrella. So he did the sweetest thing! He shoved his sweater into my face and told me to shelter myself from the rain! *dies at this point*
Oh, did I forget to mention he looks pretty good in casual wear? >_<
And throughout the time I was using his sweater, he kept saying how much he loves the smell of his sweater. I was compelled to get a whiff of it, and I ended breathing into the sweater all the way to the MRT station. =P
Sadly, he's going to quit cause he's having trouble balancing school and work. So this weekend would be the last. He promised to take peektures with me =)
I probably should calm down a bit... Nonetheless, he's taken. And well, he's younger than me so a complete NONO. Haha! But nice company. It's comfortable talking to him about stuff. =)
Before that, I met the UFO Clan members. Hahaha!!! They were awesome. We clicked quite well. Talked quite a lot. We even had a mass convo on the phone for like hours, spying on one of our friends like retarded people. I think I finally slept at like 3am. =_=
We met again this morning for breakfast. Though we were late from our initial plan to meet at 7am on to 8am, I think it was still okay. Probably meeting up again later. Oh, we're making T-Shirts!!! Hahaha!
Sore dewa, ja ne~? Minna, ogenki de!! >.<
mew...
♥Wednesday, October 22, 2008;
12:07 AM
omg. what have i done....
I was naive to think that for just one day, i could run from all the stupid problems that aren't supposed to be mine to begin with. i thought i could pretend i don't have problems and that i'm having fun with these awesome people around me, without having a doubt on whether things will get rocky tonight.
but i know, eventually i have to return back to where i left off. and it's much more a terrible sight than it was before. i hate being the eldest. and i hate being the punching bag. and i friggin' hate to be the one who's forced into thinking that one party is right while the other is wrong.
i couldn't return immediately. so i tried to seek refuge at grandma's place. she was saying how she hardly sees me and my other cousins. They're worse though. And she tried to feed me so much as pumping up a blimp with water. i'm expandable but at some point i will burst!
i really had an awesome day with my girls. really sorry for what i had them do. and many thanks for the happy, random moments we had. i really missed that.
Happy 18th Birthday to Wends! Hope she liked her new shoes/sandal and bras!! Yes, we bought her bras!! I bought one too. =P
Thanks Joyce for bothering to care. And MJ2 for understanding.
now, i gotta go work on the Inte-f*cking-grated Project. I don't think sleep will be on my side tonight... thank god for the soccer game. i may not be that lonely....
mew...
♥Sunday, October 19, 2008;
10:52 AM
i'm still lovin' pokemon, can you believe it?
I really don't know what to say anymore. i believe i have expressed every feeling of anger and hatred in just about every situation i've come across. but nothing beats this.
today might just be the worst day of my life... albeit the thought of Cutie(ref. archives) coming down to help us out.
so Joyce, today is your lucky day... =_=
i promised you a glimpse. well, maybe you'll get more than that. =)
cheerios buggers^^
mew...
♥Wednesday, October 15, 2008;
6:47 AM
back to school. where again?
i think by now, my classmates have already realised the change in my behaviour. i feel distant and disconnected.
i'm superbly tired and i can't be bothered to know why.
going to school is a drag. but unlike before, there's nothing much to look forward to.
i can't stay home. i just hate it. and i can't stay outside cause i don't know where to go.
omg. i just realised how pathetic i've become....
mew...
♥Monday, October 13, 2008;
4:43 PM
do i go left or right??
i came home quite late last night. I dropped by the store to pick my bags up. It's the first time I bought bags and I actually forget to take them home. I must really be losing it...
Anyway, the sweetest thing happened. LoL.=)
Cutie was working today at the store. Partially the reason why I waited til yesterday to pick it up instead of either Monday or Tuesday. I reached the store in the last half an hour before the store closes. And Cutie having JUST learnt how to use the cashier, had trouble with credit card payments. So I had to rush in and help him out. Haha! So cute! >.<
And he kept looking at my boobs! He said it was a natural reaction since I'm super short compared to him so he has to always look down on me. Not to mention the fact that I was wearing my new **** bra. =D
So I waited until the shop closed so we could all go back together. It was raining still last night. And I hadn't an umbrella. So he did the sweetest thing! He shoved his sweater into my face and told me to shelter myself from the rain! *dies at this point*
Oh, did I forget to mention he looks pretty good in casual wear? >_<
And throughout the time I was using his sweater, he kept saying how much he loves the smell of his sweater. I was compelled to get a whiff of it, and I ended breathing into the sweater all the way to the MRT station. =P
Sadly, he's going to quit cause he's having trouble balancing school and work. So this weekend would be the last. He promised to take peektures with me =)
I probably should calm down a bit... Nonetheless, he's taken. And well, he's younger than me so a complete NONO. Haha! But nice company. It's comfortable talking to him about stuff. =)
Before that, I met the UFO Clan members. Hahaha!!!
They were awesome. We clicked quite well. Talked quite a lot. We even had a mass convo on the phone for like hours, spying on one of our friends like retarded people. I think I finally slept at like 3am. =_=
We met again this morning for breakfast. Though we were late from our initial plan to meet at 7am on to 8am, I think it was still okay. Probably meeting up again later. Oh, we're making T-Shirts!!! Hahaha!
Sore dewa, ja ne~? Minna, ogenki de!! >.<
mew...
♥;
4:43 PM
i don't know if....
would it be a really really really bad thing,
if i dropped out of school now?
cause i can't do this anymore...
mew...
♥Saturday, October 11, 2008;
1:32 AM
razzlefrazzle nitwit!
Naz and Wendy, you guys are awesome. Jay, I love you many many. Hairi, umm, eat more please?
I don't know what to say. My brain is not processing so well. I'm confused so much that it's burning my insides.
I watched something that made me think about my 'old' life. The people I used to hang out with, the things I did, the people I hurt and the people who hurt me.
It's never easy to be told you can't have something you really want. And it's even harder to be told you're not someone you'd like yourself to be.
Growing up as a teenager has never been easy. Every generation had their own problems. But it never hurts to recall and understand what it felt like; to remember how it used to be.
This generation, parents don't take the time to listen. Or they're never there. And delinquents are always blamed for when something bad happens.
Why are we guilty until proven innocent? Why do we have to always defend ourselves? Why do we constantly have to fight for our pride?
Words don't do so well among us. We only know how to act. To do something, of which most of the time, it involves the lack of thinking. It's cause we don't care. Call us foolish, but we know where out heart is.
This is me.
I am M!s$uNd3Rs+0oD.
mew...
♥Thursday, October 9, 2008;
10:42 PM
*sigh* at least i tried right?
I am a tad bit disappointed. Need I say MORE?? :\
I hope tomorrow goes well. And the house wouldn't actually be empty. If not, I did a whole lot of work, for nothing...
Then again, maybe the timing just wasn't right. =_=
I hope I get to see you this Sunday. And gosh, I was so happy to message my darling. I miss him loads. And it's just sweet how he still refers me as his wife. Aiyoh, so long ago liao... =P
Haiz... I'm beat. As in bushed. Like the word tired? +_+
I wanna sleep for a long while. I think I have to.
Cheerios =_=
mew...
♥Wednesday, October 8, 2008;
11:41 PM
eek! get that away from me....
I have a thing against dogs. No offense to dog-lovers or dog-owners. It's a complete fear stemming from a traumatic childhood experience, though it had a sweet, touching ending to it. =P
Moving on, I am terribly frightened of them creatures. Especially the bigger ones. I swear even if they have yet to make a sound, I'd already be halfway across the continent.
Oh. And what's worse than dogs??
Dinosaurs... *nods head*
I have dreams of dinosaurs quite frequently and I imagine them a lot too. Once, I imagined that a T-Rex slowly peered into my room and slowly stomped towards me. But it couldn't get me since his 'paws/hands/WHATDOYOUCALLTHOSETHINGS' were too short. Somehow, my dinosaurs were always 'civilized' beings. They have to eat using their hands instead of their bare mouths. ??_??
Oh, and I HATE HATE HATE the sound of cracked bones. I think it's cause by the popping of air in between the joints of the bone... But who CARES?! The sounds are waaay creepy. And Jay enjoys doing that in front of me. Hers has a quirky tune. +_+
Well then, thank you for paying attention to this pointless post.
Cheerios ^^
mew...
♥Monday, October 6, 2008;
11:41 AM
bummer....
While waiting for my sis to get her stuff done before we leave, I thought maybe I'd update this little hell hole of mine. Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm back! *Chucky death song in the background =3*
I have to say the past week, pending Hari Raya celebrations were awesome. But now that it's past, heh, life ain't so much a pretty butterfly anymore.
I'm back to work, and in a sense that's a good thing. Mom's still upset at COURTS for failing to deliver certain promises and shit. So she ends up screaming at other people around her. LoL. I swear that's a trait that runs in the family. And Dad's upset that he did get "screamed" at, so he's taking it out on me, by telling me great-grandfather stories about what things USED to be like. @_@
Anyway, I'm having this little get together at my house for all friends from EVERYWHERE. It's on this Friday, 10 Oct, anytime after 12pm please. If you need any directions, do inform, though I'm certainly positive there won't be much of any trouble getting here. And please, please! Confirm with me if you guys are coming! I don't want anyone going hungry!! Not in my house you're not!!
Oh yeah, for some of you who didn't get the SMS, I'm sorry, it doesn't mean you're not invited. I'm just being a cheapo sending it to people whom I'm hoping would spread the message! Sorry yea?!
Hmm, let see, I can't go for the Raya outing this Saturday. Many apologies to Abang Sham. I swear if he had the choice, he's gonna ask Noh to transform and step on me. =P Haha!
Oh yes!! Good news! My laptop's all fixed! And everything is still inside! Nothing is missing. But there's no absolute guarantee that it wouldn't happen again. But I dare say, Sim Lim Square is one heck of a place to visit for electronics.
I've gotta go now. Off to clean the house!!
mew...
♥Saturday, October 4, 2008;
10:00 AM
wheeee.......
i can't update much. cause i've been pretty busy visting relatives. seriously, i forgot some of those whom i used to spend my childhoods with. but it's a great way to catch up.
i'd forgotten what it was like to celebrate raya in the kampong areas. looking for Nek Long's place in
lorongs with street names that have certain letters missing - NOT EASY!
anyway, just to say, please inform me beforehand if you (yealah you!), are coming over my house. i need to make sure there's enough food to keep you guys well-fed. and the official day is Friday, 10 October, anytime after 12pm.
see you soon, ok? :D
mew...
♥Wednesday, October 1, 2008;
2:26 AM
Oh yeah...
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI TO ALL MY MUSLIM FRIENDS!!!We shall have a feast of
kuehs when school reopens MS0702! :)
mew...
♥;
2:21 AM
perfection??
today was almost perfect. but then again, i'm not looking for perfection.
it's been a while since i've been this happy. and i think i deserved it. school's coming. i've got the house ready and i can't wait for next friday when i get to see you again.
sadly, things will go back to normal after this is over....
mew...
