Hehehe... Finally a day off after having worked 4 days straight. Yesterday was such a bore, I swear. Since it was a weekday, there were less customers. I finished handling the Umbro stock and Puma was completed on Saturday so I was kind of free? Well, anyway, I was dancing about the store with Joselito. Then I tried on 6 pairs of shoes, thinking about whether I should get them, but nah. They don't look good on me.
Then sometime around 2pm, yes it was 2pm only, and I had been working since morning, _______ and her Mum arrived. _______ insisted that she didn't steal the fucking shoe. So, her Mum believed her la. I was folding the clothes when her Mum shouted across the floor to me, and said, "_______ tak salah! Bilang awak punya Mak!" (
I got so mad watching her twist and turn her words, so I came up to her and half-yelled(?) back.
I got so mad at her. So I walked off after having my say. Sheesh! Some friend. I felt cheated.
Don't be stupid person and do what she did. Because at the end of the day, there's no escaping your judgement.
mew...
♥Monday, March 17, 2008;
2:20 AM
So, it seems that I'm never gonna update about my one week holiday. So much has been happening around me that I just feel like breaking away even just for a second and take a breather.
I'm feeling really pressured at home; between doing what's right and what's just plain easy. Things are becoming complicated and trying to stay on top of things is almost impossible now. Like, shit. I have no idea how things got so out of hand.
Ever seemed that fairytales, and made-up fantasy dreams were beautiful? Wish life was like that, huh?
But sadly, we're living in the real world. I'm not saying we don't have a choice, but I learnt this week about things happening because they were
MEANT TO. I didn't quite completely understood it. But then again, maybe it's true huh?
I kind of have a bad habit of questioning the things around me. I want to know why things are done a certain way, why some child is being punished, why we are supposed to conform to something that is against our personal principles and all that shit. Sometimes, I get the answers that I want. Sometimes, I get an earful for being "
NOSEY", or "
RUDE" for that matter, which I do not get. How do you go from being curious to rude?
Gah. I hate how this generation is evolving. And I'm talking about my community. As in, the girls are becoming such bitches and the guys are assholes. They're fucking pretenders with their ideology of "
COOL" which equals to being "
STOOPID", and yes, that is how they fucking spell that shit.
I'd hate how this would reflect our behaviour, in the present or in the future. Because this is a growing problem. Like an epidemic, slowly spreading across the country, until the entire population is consumed by it. I'd rather
stab myself repeatedly in the
fucking head before I turn into one. ^~^
Anyway, I hate the holidays!!! I fucking hate this shittiest time of the year. Not as much as I hate exams, surprisingly. Though not much to fear about exams. Just that regular mental block and
SLEEPING DURING THE FUCKING PAPER. And by the way, I actually slept for all my four papers. Four right?! I think it was. Like, DAMN!
Just a few hours ago, hehe, actually it was just an hour ago, I watched Step Up 2. Like that was the awesomest SHIT! The girl is hot; I am no fucking lesbian, and the guy is way sizzling! The moves are magnanimous though I bet Chris Brown can do a
HELL LOT BETTER THAN THAT! But I gotta admit, I really enjoyed it. They brought it on, and they brought it good~!
I managed to talk to Aq casually just now. And I must say, that boy has a hell of another world locked up inside. And it's locked up tight. It's rare to find a guy like him, so I hope Jay can cherish and treasure him like I know she would.
On a lighter note, on the 6th April would be
RSH IMM's last day before the renovation works. There will be some form of clearance sale, so do watch out you sappy, cheapskate-wants-more-than-more-discount and more. I'm gonna have to work my ass off during that week. Oh, and
CONVERSE will be moving over to Baleno's old place. So much change. And for that two weeks, I'm not sure if I'll be working. Guess there's some time for rest too, huh? =)
mew...
♥Friday, March 14, 2008;
2:45 PM
I am so scared. I am utterly terrified.
Nothing I have come across in my life has made me this terrified. Not the ghosts of my imaginations, nor towering heights could possibly make me this scared. And I feel this way because of you.
I don't understand why any girl, for that matter, would sell themselves short for a guy she completely doesn't understand. But to her, she loves him no matter what, and is willing to do the darnest things for him. This is unacceptable.
Why are girls so fucking blind? Why are "some" guys after one thing and one thing only? No such word as commitment?? Read a fucking dictionary asshole!!
Guys who cannot wait are fucking bastards! And those women who are too stupid to see that are just STOOPID!!! I can't keep blaming the girls nor the guys because it takes two hands to clap. But sadly, this is growing in our society. And I am tired of hearing about teenage pregnancies and abandoned babies and what shit!
STOP THIS FUCKING SHIT!!
AND YOU! Listen here, okay! I don't mean to be nosey. But I care for you a WHOLE lot. Don't fucking ruin your life for someone you don't really know. Heck! You're too fucking young! Just because you think you've reached the age limit, doesn't mean you can fucking be an idiot and do stupid things.
I know you won't tell me straight. And I'm sorry I had to sneak my through to find this out myself. I really care about you and I don't want you to make a BIG MAJORLY STOOPID mistake as that. I know you can take care of yourself. I know I can trust you.
But I am worried that you'd be smitten by the words of a guy. That you'd do it to prove yourself to him. That you would regret only after you've done it. SAY NO. It's not that fucking hard.
mew...
♥Tuesday, March 11, 2008;
6:13 PM
I am so tired. Like, really worn out. The days are so packed. But then again, I'm glad I got to do it with my family. It's been ages since we last went out together, as a family, with everyone present, and NO arguments. Just plain ol' good fun and laughter.
To my friends, PSYCHED!!! I didn't actually leave for Malaysia. I've been in Singapore this whole time. You see, we told our colleagues, bosses and such that we were leaving for KL. But we changed plan, cause Dad was worried about that
Safe Gold - guy(literal translation to English guys!!) so we ended up cancelling our trip. But all's not lost. I didn't take a week's leave to have it all wasted.
I'm so sorry yea?! I had to leave my phone silent/switched off because Mum's colleagues who couldn't get her, had been trying to get to her through me. =P
I'll let you in on what happened. Til then, TOODLES!!
mew...
♥Saturday, March 8, 2008;
3:33 PM
I feel betrayed. And yet again by someone I call a friend.
Why the fuck did you have to do that?
Why the fucking hell did you have to steal from the store?
Why the fuck did you deny everything for almost a week?
And now, you want another fucking chance?
What did you think girl??
That your actions HAD NO consequences?
Why must you be tainted just like all the rest?
I am damn fucking ashamed to call you one of mine!
I am damn fucking ashamed that there's so many of you out there.
And I dare admit I'm not going to trust you again.
Why is everyone around me such traitors?
Backstabbers
Bastards
& Bitches
Mats
& Minahs alike
Fuck them shit.
I hate you people.
mew...
♥Friday, March 7, 2008;
2:54 PM
Yeap folks. Fire is God's greatest creation.
I love fire. The thought of it, the sight of it gets me excited. Just as much when I see blood la.
Fuck if you think I'm weird and all. But it's just amazing to watch fire just burning before your eyes. I had fun with my fire just now. But maybe Mum wouldn't like what I've done with her room. =P
Anyway, I realized that once you've burnt a match, the soot from the match can be used to draw. Haha! Fun right?! But you gotta quickly put it out on your skin to have a long-lasting effect. Gosh, this is more addictive than slitting my wrists.
THANK GOD FOR FIRE!!
and thank god I've got at least 6 boxes of matches.
oh and the fact that I'm blogging about this indicates that I'm fucking depressed. But hey, we can't all be happy right?!! Muahahahahaha!
Have fun you little punked buggers. Have a great holiday. =)
"Excuse us, sir. We got shit to do"- "Worm" from Coach Carter.
mew...
♥Thursday, March 6, 2008;
11:58 AM
You Are "Dizzy and Giddy"
|
|
Gah. I got this from Eugene. he's actually alive, you know.
Well, anyway. It's been raining all morning and I'm my ass is frozen on the seat from the cold weather. But come to think of it, I like it. Cold weathers make me feel light-headed. So for once, I feel like an autistic child living in her own world playing with her dollies and stuffed teddies. So what? I like it and it makes me happy. What's it to you?
Anywhoo, I helped Dad a bit with the cooking. And then I fried a bit of pratas. Now, I'm dying for a cup of tea. Random note, I'm beginning to like Milo Mocha. *eeeek!!*
I don't like coffee. I hate coffee. I find it totally disgusting to drink. Especially since I witness my Dad consume 6 or more glasses of it a day. But what's happening??? Coffee?? Then the other day, Red Bull??? What is going on??? Like someone please seriously destroy them buggers!
Well, my holidays are kinda boring these days. It's either work or stay home and do housework. Occassionally, I'd go out with my parents. Then there was the time I went out for Jay's birthday party. I'm working this friday. Then I'm off on a short hiatus for my family members and I have something planned. Just so happens, I'm leaving on the same day as Aqmar. But he's going on a one month holiday, yo. But I guess I'll be back by Wednesday night. Jay is so not happy. Sorry la!
Then Grandmama and I are going to Melaka to have hi-tea at some restaurants and do a lot of shopping. Grandma's friends always oraganize these events. I'm living with 'hip' grandmas who shop at boutiques. But hey, I do get branded hand me downs so that's a plus point. But our tastes are so different. Grandma likes them bling. Shinier than shiny.
I'm gonna go lock myself up in my room and hide under the blanket for a while. Have a nice day peeps!
"Waa!! I'm still a virgin!!"- My sister screamed while I tickled her.
mew...
♥Tuesday, March 4, 2008;
11:43 PM
A HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO HER BEST FRIEND JULAIHA BINTE JUSOH!!!!
I sure hope you had fun yesterday. Gosh! I was so exhausted I slept til this afternoon! I'm sorry if I freaked you out with the 'sea-thing' and I might've gotten you into trouble with your mum. I did try to call but she didn't seem to want to talk to me, but that's fine.
You had a birthday cake set out for you. Sorry it wasn't in the perfect condition. Wal kept bumping into it with the tent. And we sang you a birthday song in three languages - english, chinese and malay. Then there was a bit of eating and loads of talking. It was nice to just sit out at the breakwater and talk randomly. And oh, I managed to freak you out twice without doing much. =)
OoOoOoOo! I almost forgot about the cam-whoring bit. Okay, we didn't do a bit. We did a whole LOT! Fun right?! Runnning around? And doing unglamorous jumps that didn't make the cut. Nana and Ainol joined in a little after. Thank you babe for coming despite your troubles.
Then there was the swimming bit. I didn't want to get completely wet. But I went with the flow and grabbed Nana by the hand. She was like, "Like old times?" Then we went running into the water, just as far until our waists were completely soaked. Aqmar ran into the water as though he was liberated from all problems or as if he'd won the lottery. I swear it was bliss for him. Wal got into it after a while. He was afraid of getting wet, but well, it didn't matter. Jay didn't get in. She is completely terrified of the sea. So she stood to take our pictures
We were completely swimming in the waters soon enough. And Aqmar and Wal were so nice as to pour sand over my head as though we were at a spa. They were lamenting how sand is good for the hair. That it contained nutrients. Like gah! It took me two attempts at washing the sand off every strand. And even back home, there was still more sand!! Thanks la guys! ~.~
But we did have fun. Despite how Nana and I made Jay cry by the beach. Like REALLY, REALLY cry. Gosh! I'm so sorry babe!! Really I am
Okay, the trip back home was very dull. Because by then, everyone was exhausted beyond measure. Jay cried again in the bus because of her mother. Like, almost every year, her mother manages to 'ruin' her birthday. But it doesn't matter anymore. She did go out with us to have fun, and take pictures and do a lot of get-togethering. It was at least something. And that should count.
I called up her mum to try to talk to her, but she was a little busy, so I didn't. But I hope she doesn't give Jay an earful. She's 18 now. Give her some space. Cause I'm gonna kidnap her and make her live in with me if you're not careful. =P Joking? Maybe. Maybe not!
Anyway, when I got home, I had to go out again and accompany my sis to print her pictures. Gosh! I was completely drained, so when desperate times called for desperate measures, I did the unthinkable.
I...
I......
I.........
I BOUGHT~!
I BOUGHT RED BULL!!!!!
How could I, right? I KNOW! I was desperate!!! And even then, after gulping down a can in one shot, I was alright for only 10 minutes tops!! I actually slept while I stood waiting for my takoyakis! My sis was afraid I'd collapse and sleep on the floor.
When I got home, it was a little better after I had 3 cups of tea. I even managed to play Carrom with Dad and sis before I slept. And when I did, I was completely knocked out after a few minutes. I'd usually toss and turn, finding my best, most comfortable position.
I woke up today at 2.30pm. Noone home, and I'm all alone. Greeeeeattt....
So I lazily did my housework. Nothing much to do anyway. Then watched all day, online-ing at the same time. Not bad. Very laid back.
I'm just waiting for my video and pictures to be uploaded. Fahmi (a.k.a. Rio) has been waiting for the video for quite a while. He couldn't view it after I sent it to him today, so I'mma upload it somewhere for him.
Toodles, yo! Gotta sleep now.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - by Timo Cruz(played by Rick Gonzalez) in the movie Coach Carter.
mew...
