Dear abortion, I want to be a mother

Dear abortion,
My first response is to be really angry at you, because I don't think that you are a good option.  I then have to remind myself, that some people have a hard time choosing you, because rape or other sad circumstances have lead them to choose between you and giving life.  Thankfully I know many women, when they are faced with this decision, they take it to the Lord before they make this most difficult choice.

 But when I read about people choosing you for reasons of independence, to make a statement, just because they feel like it, or any other reason,  it makes me want to cry.  You see, I have had two miscarriages, one ruptured ectopic, and the other at 10 weeks naturally.  Since these traumatic experiences I have also met many other women who struggle to have children.  So why are you so appealing to people?  Why can't you stop telling women that if they chose you, it will be better for them?  Please stop.  The truth is, I want to be a mother.  I know not everyone thinks like me, and I don't understand how hard it is, but I want to be a mother. 

Please tell those mothers this, and tell them to think of me before making their choice.

Sincerely,
Camille

P.S. Yes I am willing to adopt. 

Becoming an EGO???

For the past couple of weeks I have been eating what some call "Clean eating."  I made my own soups and salads, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the whole shabang!  When I sit down to eat, I have been trying to eliminate ALL distractions, and just enjoy the food, and the company.  Yesterday I had my husband pick up food from my favorite Chinese place the Royal Express.  I was so excited to sit down and eat it, and as I took my first bite, I was strangely...not satisfied.  No longer was it as delicious as I remember.  I didn't enjoy it...I DIDN'T ENJOY IT?!?!

This hasn't been the first time lately that this has happened either.  We picked up a hamburger the other day on the run, and the food tasted...fake.  Another wings place that has recently become popular... was nothing but processed chicken (maybe not even real chicken??) and overpowering sauce.  Besides that, there were hardly any vegetable dishes to be seen, or other options.  It really did live up to it's motto but they didn't have much more than that.

So as I sat there not enjoying my favorite foods, I thought to myself, what is happening to me?

I have come to the conclusion that I am becoming an Anton, "I don't like food, I LOVE IT!"  As I look around and see all the places that I have eaten food, I think to myself, what are we as Americans doing to ourselves?  We eat food that doesn't satisfy us, that is too much quantity for our stomachs, and that isn't even real food half of the time (aka poor quality!!!).

Can you think of it?  I think you will know what I am talking about when you have my best friends homemade pizza.  You will never want to have a 5 dollar pizza again!

Tell me, have you had this experience before?  Have you noticed a difference with your eating out experience after eating home cooking for a while?  Or have you had a time where all you could do is eat out, and you got really tired of it?

The one difference between him and me is "If I don't love it, I don't swallow."  That might take me a while...

What a wonderful world

Yesterday was so amazing!!! 
Stake conference
Dinner at Grandma's
Visiting our other Grandma
Spontaneous visit to Brigham City
And a CES fireside I needed to hear

Justin and I had such an incredible conversation yesterday.  After feeling so lost as to what our next step would be, we have found new guidance from a loving Heavenly Father.  And I couldn't be happier.  Well...I could if I was back with Father, but that will have to wait. 

I would just say, that if you feel a little without direction, Listen to conference, or PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen to the last two CES firesides, and listen the the spirit.  I promise that as you prepare to receive answers, the Lord will teach you. 

Happy Day.