On fairytales

This is one of those subjects that a single blog post can do no justice. Books have been written, research done, etc etc etc But the other day I decided that I'll put in my 5 cents worth. In the evening after putting Timmy to bed either Jack or myself usually read to him. I normally read him mainly the most common today's russian fairytales (Колобок, Козлята и волк, Аленушка и братец Иванушка). Even though there is violence in them, it is usually in a fairly mild form. This made me think whether death as a subject should be introduced gradually or perhaps not at all while a child is very small.

As I was small I recall my parents and grandparents never really censoring fairytales (apart from swearing) and although I was a fairly impressionable and emotional child, I never really took the death in fairytales seriously. I remember what frightened me most when I was little, was some sort of social advertising film about fire where there were shown burns victims (mainly small children) with horrific disfigurements and a message in the end along the lines of "CHILDREN - DON'T PLAY WITH MATCHES". I distinctly recall being completely terrified after that because I could very strongly identify with those children and also imagine the physical pain of being burned. So I remember praying to God every night asking him that our house doesn't catch on fire. Obviously now I would avoid showing something like that to Tim. But fairytales...?

My hesitation whether to read Tim "scary" fairytales continues. Recently I was talking to a friend who is reading a book on the subject and the author says that those traditional (original) fairytales like Hanzel and Gretel are good for children, because they are ways for kids to come to term with death and is a way to let them think about it. I haven't completely made up my mind, but for me I have to say that I find many modern fairytales or kids books plain stupid, boring and shallow. A lot of them feel artificial in a way that they were rationally invented to try and teach children some sort of social norms and morals and try to be positive from every angle.

In any case... as I said - I haven't made up my mind yet, but I was reading Tim an old russian story of a Белая Уточка (White Duck). The story has a witch, who turns the queen into a white duck and then herself pretends to be the queen. The duck in the meantime has ducklings and as they grow up they go closer and closer to the castle where the witch and their father the king live. The witch ends up discovering who they are and (long story short) kills two out of three, so the duck herself goes to the castle and tells onto the witch and the king recognises his wife and they live happily ever after. Then there is the final paragraph about the fate of the witch, which I also read out aloud to Tim and this was the catalyst for writing this post...

"А ведьму привязали к лошадиному хвосту, размыкали по полю: где
оторвалась нога - там стала кочерга; где рука - там грабли; где голова
- там куст да колода. Налетели птицы - мясо поклевали, поднялися
ветры - кости разметали, и не осталось от ней ни следа, ни памяти!"


This is the google translation, which gives a rough idea of the fact that it's pretty graphic and gruesome...

"A witch tied to a horse's tail, opens the field: where
come off the foot - there was poker, which hand - there is a rake, where the head
- Yes there is a bush deck. The birds came - ate meat, rose
wind - swept the bones, and left no trace of her, no memory! "

It's snowing!!!

First time this winter - yey!!!

Dressing up a storm

As Christmas approaches, so is the number of activities around the place increases. Next week Timmy's group at the Kita are having a Weihnachtscafe, which is something involving kiddies and parents sitting around eating sweets and getting presents. For that as a member of the parent committee I need to organise some games/activities. Then the week after for the smallest kids in the whole Kita there's going to be a Yolka (Russian traditional celebration with a xmas tree, Ded Moroz, etc.). On this day Tim is supposed to come in a costume. This is the first time that the question of costume appeared in our lives. Naturally my thoughts went back to my childhood Yolka celebrations and the costumes my Mum made for me (apparently as a parent you get to live through your childhood once again with your own children and have to deal with all of your issues once again... says psychoanalysis).

In kindergarten I remember having a costume of a squirrel (see below photo), and I clearly recall the tail structure being made out of bits of cardboard and thick wires with orange fabric over the top, and it was very cool. Then at school I always wanted to be a very "traditional" (read: boring) Snowflake, or Snow Queen, or Snow Princess because those white pretty silvery dresses were the envy of each little girl. Well I never got to be any of those (or ever got a Barbie for that matter - thank God for that!)... instead Mum decided to be creative and original, and probably under the influence of all those abstract art history ideas and made me a costume of a ... wait for it... christmas tree. Yep - I went to a Yolka (Russian for christmas tree) dressed myself as a christmas tree. Imagine how I felt when all those spoiled little brats dressed as pretty white Snowflakes kept coming up to me and asking what my costume was supposed to be, and me saying "oh - I am a christmas tree!". In retrospect and to be completely fair I remember having a really good time at that Yolka and it was so cool that Mum made so much effort with the costume. I even remember having green tree-like earrings.


Anyhoo... the point being that, just like Mum, I realised I don't want to dress Tim into anything traditional and boring (pirate, tiger, etc)... until he can pick out a costume for himself at least, so I've been trying to come up with "original" ideas and so far the options are:

1) Koala (to emphasise his Australian heritage)
2) Sigmund Freud (just 'cos he's on my mind a lot lately)
3) his regular self, in the spirit of Wednesday Addams dressed normally for Halloween when asked where her costume is says: "This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac- they look just like everyone else."

But I think actually what I'm leaning towards is actually a good old (read: boring) wizard costume. What do you think? Do you have any ideas? And I'd really like to know what was your most memorable costume from your childhood? :)

Laternenfest

Yesterday kids at the Kita had a Laternenfest (Lantern Festival). Traditionally it's in honour of St Martin, but these days it's more of an excuse to let kids walk around with a lantern and sing sonds. Last year we went on one of these but then without an actual lantern. This year kiddies and parents made their lanterns at the Kita and last night the weather was perfect for it - it was very very foggy and made the whole procession all the more magical. There was a little play performing the story of St Martin himself, we sang a few songs, walked around the nearby block in a somewhat disorganised procession and then ate loads and loads of sweet things and drank Gluhwein (despite the fact that our Kita is half Russian, there was a non-alcoholic version for the little ones).

During the eating part of the evening Timmy got seated in front of a big round plate with a very yummy looking cake on it. At this point he assumed that 'big plate with cake' = 'my little plastic plate at home'. Thus he proceeded to eat piece after piece, after piece of this cake right from the platter. I counted that he ate at least four slices. Afterwards our friends Anita, Ilja and Hannes came over to our place for a bit of an afterparty and Tim kept running back and forth to Anita for tickles. Basically he ended up having a huge sugar high that crashed very suddenly with a bit of a tantrum. Such is the hard life of a 1.5 year old.

One and a half years old

Our little man is 1.5 years old today. When I think back to 1.5 years ago and the little wormy squirmy creature that he was, it's hard to believe that it is the same human being. He can do so much, can say what he wants and doesn't want, shows interest in very specific things and is generally a little confident person. Favourite animals right now are dogs and horses. There are a few carriages on the streets for the tourists and Tim just loves to watch them go past. And he also really likes drawing - well actually not so much drawing itself, but playing with pencils and putting them in boxes and packets.

One thing that he definitely is, is not shy. In fact he seeks attention from pretty much everyone. So when we go out somewhere he will try to get the attention of nearby people, by first smiling at them... if that doesn't work then he waves and failing that he makes a loud
grunting/shouting noise. One of the three usually gets the attention of these random people and then he gets all cute and flirts with them by smiling, looking away and smiling at them some more. These days it's cold outside so he parades in his bear-ears hat, which also assists him in getting more attention. The other day we were in a department store lift and it so happened that we were in the middle of it with Tim sitting in the pram. So without any shame he started taking turns looking at the people on either side of him. After a little while the whole lift worth of people was smiling at him... so I said to them "No shame" - indicating Tim. And one man replied "Perhaps he's a future diplomat - he is not afraid of making contact with people". Perhaps...

He's been trying to talk more - actually attempting various words. Over the weekend he started saying 'туда' (Russian for 'there'), and tried making a very cute hissing sound when Jack was trying to teach him to say 'cheese'. Otherwise we're still at the good old 'Mama', 'Papa', 'Dada', 'Baba'. Except that 'Mama' is used for any person that Tim currently wants attention from. So if I'm picking him up from Kita, he says 'Mama' in relation to one of the teachers as we're leaving. When a friend of ours comes over to visit and then leaves, Tim will point at the door and with the saddest eyes will say 'Mama'. Jack is also 'Mama' if I'm not the preferred parent at the time.

Aside from that he's been walking heaps and really enjoys the independence of running to where he wants to... which 80% of the time is the opposite direction to where we're trying to go. Over the weekend we went to Tiergarten and he enjoyed playing with all the dry autumn leaves and had plenty of freedom to run wherever he wanted. Here he is at 1.5 years! :)

Autumn in Berlin

Absurdity in boxes or "look who's stupid"

A week ago our (almost) last things arrived from Australia being a total of 3 pallets = 5 cubic meters. All this assortment packed in about 70 boxes. Joy! For a few days this pile has taken a life of it's own because we couldn't really believe that we shipped so much crap. And crap it really is... at least say 70% of it. Jack and I kept looking at each other in disbelief that we really did send all this stuff and it really is here now, and is really taking up A LOT of space in our already full-of-stuff apartment.

Now when we were going through our things in March back in Melbourne we did get rid of a lot of things. But clearly not enough. And the main problem then was that we a) had limited time to sort through things, b) were sick of sorting through things over and over and over again (which is probably the most important point here). To illustrate the full absurdity of the kinds of things we packed (for reasons refer to point B of the previous sentence):

- empty half broken CD cases
- tiny ripped bits of fabric that I kept from my good old sewing days at school when I cherished (hoarded) anything and everything I had following the whole Soviet experience
- cups with IBM logos on them
- old floor towels
- an assortment of shoe polish brushes

But none of these demonstrates this absurdity more than the following conversation that we've had back in March and the result thereof.

Jack (as we're packing these said boxes): "You're not seriously going to take this stone with you?" (pointing at a big stone that I used as paperweight on my desk)
me: "Well... containers go by volume, not weight, right? So why not - I like this stone."
Jack: "Fine! Then I'm taking my stone, too!!!" (he also has a big stone that he used as a paperweight).

Yes - we shipped these two stones from Australia! At least Jack can remember the significance of his and where he found it. Mine? I think it might be from the Grampians but really - it's just a big grey stone... and now overnight they have become a lot more famous and valuable for travelling across the globe. Now these stones are trying to find a respectable place in the PILE of stuff that is our current flat and I am glad I want to become a psychologist, because the human psyche is one deep, dark, absurd abyss!!!

Timmy at 17 months

As of the 23rd of September Tim walks by himself. Below is a video of his second attempt - the first one being very spontaneous and we were just in complete awe when it happened. Now, a few weeks on, he is already a lot more confident and even tries to run sometimes, with varying success. This has been one of these big milestones that needless to say we're very happy about.

A 9th tooth has gotten through - a first molar on the bottom right. Actually make that 10 teeth - first molars on top and bottom right.

We can't be happier to report that he's been doing very well at kindergarten. He gets along really well with the other kids in the group and is generally happy to be there. When we drop him off in the mornings the other kids start screaming "Timmi ist da!!!" (Timmy is here!), which is really cute to observe. The teachers asked me if I wanted to be (a scapegoat) on the parent committee, so now I am going to have my first 'parent committee' meeting this Wed... we'll see... I don't mind putting in the time to help them , since they're looking after Timmy so well.

Another thing to report is to say that Tim takes after his father in terms of his love of vegetables. This means that the only vegetable that he (usually) will eat is potatoes. But we have invented a little scheme to "assist" him. One of Tim's favourite foods is bread, so we would give Tim a little piece of bread for every spoonful of vegetables. It's not a favourite game to play, but so far it works... although something tells me not for long :)

Some photos from Sept/Oct:

Academic future of the great-to-be psychologist

It has been a while since we posted here. Mainly due to extreme lack of time. Jack has gotten a new project at work that keeps him busy days, evenings and weekends. I have been busy organising my future academic life and various things around the flat (to be reported in due course). And Tim has been busy being Tim - growing himself, growing teeth, practising walking and running, making sure his opinion is heard loud and clear and generally being cute :)

I haven't been accepted into masters at my old uni because my average score wasn't perfect. So I had the option of either waiting a year and re-applying, giving me an advantage of having two Wartesemester (semesters where you wait for a place and don't study in the meantime, which somehow gives you a competitive advantage) or applying for a course at a paid university. The problem with the first option was that there's no guarantees that I'll get a place next year. Additionally I was hoping to use this year of waiting to get some work experience, but for most work-experience places it turns out that you need to be a student to be able to do it. Because if you're a student you can't sue your employer for not paying you a cent - normal German practice. Finding a paid placement for someone with a Bachelor of Psych is next to impossible since there isn't actually much you can do with this degree as it is.

Thus as of next week I'm going to study at International Psychoanalytic University doing a Master of Arts in Psychology. Unfortunately it costs an arm and a leg, but for that I don't have to wait a year. It also looks like the education that I'll get there might just be a little bit better than what the previous university was able to offer me - smaller class sizes, better facilities, what-looks-like lecturers who are a little bit more interested in teaching rather than just doing their research. The other upside is that it's in the centre, so it cuts my travel time by about 20 mins and I can also get there on my bike riding through central park.

We'll see. I don't want to get my expectations too high to avoid being too disappointed, but so far it's looking good.

Barcelona, Catalonia

Over the long German Unity Day weekend (a day that doesn't mean anything for something like 69% of Germans) we flew to sunny and warm Barcelona. For Jack and I it was our second time there and for Tim Spain makes it a fourth country where he's been to so far (not counting a few hours stopover in Qatar).

Our five days over there involved a little bit of sightseeing, lots of walking and wondering, and most importantly actually having a chance to see one another, which has been difficult over the last few weeks.

Some highlights of the trip included:

• eating the most amazing soft meringues at Jaume square
  
• nearly having two rats fall onto our heads from a rat nest on a palm tree (!) in Park Güell - probably wins the most eeky prize of the holiday
• taking a cable car up to the castle on Montjuïc mountain
• watching jets practice for the air show on the beach
• Timmy eating and very much enjoying seafood (a big surprise to his parents)
• going inside Casa Batlló and La Pedrera - two very cool houses designed by the great Antoni Gaudi

Some snaps in random order (is there such a thing?)