right now, im blogging from my blackberry, standing at the penthouse just beside my bunk .

its been almst 4 months since ive entered hta.

time is 2218 .

day 21 dec 2011. 1 day before my block leave starts

feeling weary

feeling forsaken

feeling like going home

feeling tired

feeling lonely

feeling forgottened

feeling needy

feeling a 100 other feelings.

somethings will just stick with us for the rest of our lives. and the more we try to run away from it, the more it haunt us .

Remember

when getting high meant swinging on the playground?

when protection meant wearing a helmet?

when the worst thing you could get from boys were cooties?

race issues were about who ran the fastest?

war was only a card game.

when wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut,

the most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees,

and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow.

& we all couldn’t wait to grow up.

what about you?

i couldnt

when you know youve tried..
its good enough..
the charades can end..
the pretense can end..
the pain can end

why do i see my past as such a threat?

sometimes when u need to let go,
let it go.
just let it go.

Why do people keep deflecting?

sometimes we see ourselves, like where would we be in future?

but then again sometimes when we see ourselves, like how we were in the past.

Then what do we really look for..