Oh the FuN...

Busy, busy, busy...that's what my life has been lately.  It seems I've been on the go non-stop.  Between work, friends, dating, and church activities I've been going going going...gone!  Not that I'm complaining, it's been fun!!!  I may be 32 but I seem to be playing like I'm 21...haha.  Too many late nights makes Nila a very tired girl.  Take a look at some of my fun adventures...

Fringe with my nerd glasses

Fringe

Fringe and curls

I got me some fringe action going on!!!  And with the bangs came the compliment...you look like Rihanna...umm....I don't know about that but I'll take it!!!




Then there was the YSA 220 Luau...I learned how to dance Tongan and had a lot of fun!!!

Luau fun!

Getting ready to perform...

Then we just had the YSA 15th Stake Carnival and that was a lot of fun too....

All us girls having some fun!

Cotton Candy+Red Bull=Mad Good Times Haha

Our new random friend, Chase!!!

Some more new friends we made!

Cake Walk Champion and My Winnings!!!

Then there was my birthday bonfire!!!

Ang hard at work!

Christiana not happy...hahaha.

Yup I see you!

Party party party

Steve cheats and I'm trying to convince the others of this fact.

The crew...

And so the adventures continue and I'll be sure to keep you posted!

The End of Summer

Me on the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France

So...it seems Summer is over and I'm on the verge of turning another year older, sigh.  I'm not sure how I feel about turning the big 32...ok yes, I do.  I feel a huge lump in the pit of my stomach that weights me down and makes me a bit queasy.  However, that could be the meal I ate earlier today but I'm pretty sure it's the knowledge of knowing my birthday is in less than 48 hours...ugh.  People keep asking me what I want to do for my birthday and I inform them I would like to curl up in a little ball and die in the corner of the room...hahaha.  But seriously that has crossed my mind as a legitimate birthday activity option; although, I'm not sure my guest would really enjoy such a scene.

32...holy crap, 32!!!!  I would rather not think about my age but I look at pictures of myself and am like dang...I'm really starting to look 32!!! However, there are parts of me that are like 32 is going to be my year.  It's the year the "thing" I've been working for and hoping for is gonna happen.  It's not necessarily the year I'm going to be a mom but hopefully that will come by age 34.  So, instead of being gloom and doom, as this entry began, I'm going to be positive and hopeful for my 32nd year.  I'm trying new things and focusing on doing more service for others.  Hopefully, this Girl Scout internship I applied for will come through and I can gain some good experience there.  I would really like to get into the non-profit world doing fundraising and event planning and this internship would provide me with exactly what I need to network and gain some hands-on experience in the field.

Yes 32, will be my year!! I'll go to the temple with a partner in toe and get myself into the non-profit world of fundraising and event planning!  Yup...sounds like a good year lies ahead of me and I'm ready to make it happen!!!

Surprise...he's funny!

So, this past Sunday I was able to attend the Adele concert.  Amazing!!! She seriously is fabulous!!!  I sang along with every single song and so did the gay guy standing next to me...we were quite the duo! Ha! Ha!  Anyways...the real point of this entry is my date for the event.

Just an FYI...I meant it when I said I sang during every song, so just know that if you watch this video! Haha!  I'm a fan, what can I say!?!

I asked a terribly cute grad student from BYU who is an ex-pro football player and in my ward.  Here are his stats: He's 6'5" or 6'6" with big brown eyes, tan skin, and probably around 250 pounds.  I honestly wasn't sure how it was going to go since it was our first time hanging out and doing something together, but i was pleasantly surprised by his quick humor and non-chalant manner.  I mean, he is from Samoa, so his laid back attitude isn't all that surprising, it's the fact that he was so funny and we could easily carry a conversation.  Who knew fobs talk?! Jokes people, jokes!  The only reason I was surprised that he talked so easily and was quite the comedian was because he is always SUPER quiet at church.  He's like super mute but on our date he was anything but silent; which is fine with me.

Not to mention he paid for everything and drove us up there, which was nice.  And he loved the concert just as much as I did.  In fact, he wants me to get him some Adele songs.  He said he loved "Someone Like You" and "Chasing Pavement" and her Bob Dylan cover.  I was like so impressed.  And the whole evening he kept leaning over to me and telling me how amazing she sang and was.  I was like, "I know!"  But I'm glad he loved the night as much as I did.

Another bonus for him was the fact that he was super touchy "feely" with me.  It seemed any chance he got he would touch me either on the leg or the back or the waist...yes...Nila likes.  Ha! Ha!  It was nice to have a guy who isn't all shy or weird about that.  Like another guy I am dating...bwahahaha...and that date (Wednesday) is another blog entry.

He also earned points for having an opinion about everything from dating to politics and boy did he have an opinion about politics; a bad one but none the less he had one. Ha! Ha!  He's a democrat and an Obama supporter.  Boo!  It was so funny because he got really passionate about it and I got just as passionate with my point of view and suddenly the car was filled with lots of words being tossed around, but it was all in good fun.  I enjoyed it because the other guy I'm dating wouldn't do that and I like bantering back and forth, it's fun!

However, he did lose points because he didn't walk me to my door and wait for me to get inside.  So, not cool.  But it may be that he's from Samoa and a bit on the FOB side; however he's been stateside for quite some time, so he should know better.  But overall it was a fun first date and he did say at the end of the night he wanted to hang out again.  So, I of course was like, "Sure that would be cool".  But we'll see, he's a highly career driven individual with that as his focus, so I'm barely on his radar at this point and time but who knows...we'll see.  I personally am still holding out for the "other" guy I'm dating.  I just need to get him a job. We'll see.

Service for Hire

Like this British war hero,
I too want to
 give back through service.

Work was crazy hectic today.  It seemed I was on the go and talking non-stop to doctor after doctor, which is good but makes me feel like there isn't enough time in my day to keep up with it all.  However, somehow I keep up with it all.  But it's when I come home that I realize I need a little more in my life than just work.  I need something else.  Volunteer work.  So, with the advice of my father fresh on my mind I went and sought out opportunities to give of my services.  I applied at IHC for different assignments last week or the week before perhaps.  But it seems I'm not volunteer material because I haven't heard back from them on any of the jobs I applied for.  So, I decided to call the volunteer service line and see what's up.  Well, it turns out that they aren't taking any new applications until mid-September.  Dang it.  So, I've got some time to do something else in between now and then.  The questions is what though?? I thought about volunteering at the American Red Cross but I'm not sure that would be all that fun.  So, I'm looking for suggestions.  Where do you think I should go and volunteer at?  I plan on going to some old folks homes tomorrow after work to see if they need volunteers, but are there other options out there that I'm not aware of?  Let me know!  

The Curse of Being a Jane Austen Fan

Last night I had the pleasure of hanging out with one of my favorite people and her adorable kids...I mean that when I say it too. Since her husband was out of town on business we decided to have a Jane Austen movie night. What better way to spend some quality time with one of your best gal pals? We decided to watch Persuasion, since I hadn't seen it yet or so I thought. It all sounds innocent enough until you actually put the movie on and start watching it. This is where the brainwashing begins. Then to compound matters we decided to watch Becoming Jane after Persuasion, yet another poor decision by two sappy girls.

Why pray tell is it such a terrible thing to be a Jane Austen fan? To read her timeless books? To watch her timeless classics brought to life through the eyes of BBC's finest directors? I'll tell you why!! Because it completely distorts the reality of love and all that it is and has to offer. Ms. Austen sucks you into a world where girls with unfortunate circumstances end up Mistress' of grand manors and capture the heart of rich debonair bachelors. Oh yes, in Ms. Austen's book there is always a happy ending...always.

But in life this is not the case. There is no rich debonair bachelor awaiting my arrival; who secretly longs to banter back and forth with me so he can showcase his quick wit and sly humor. Thus presenting me the perfect opportunity to show-off my elevated intellect and sharp quips. In fact, I don't know many men who can keep up with me...ha! Well, perhaps there are few but they are an anomaly rather than the norm in my world.

Oh, Jane, you have ruined me for love. I seek after a man with passion, not only for myself, but for life in general. A man that loves deeply with his entire heart, soul and mind. These are the characteristics of the men she created. These men didn't run from their feelings, though they fought them and tried fervently to suppress them in the end they surrendered and submitted to their burning love for their leading ladies. Oh, yes, Jane you have really done me in when it comes to love.

And last night was no exception to the curse of being a Jane Austen fan. Especially when we started watching Becoming Jane. That movie had me crying and blowing my nose all at the same time. All I could do was ask myself, "Why in the hell did you choose to torture yourself with this movie"? My friend should have intervened and advised me to choose another film because I was so emotional in the first movie. But who could have foretold that my emotions were going to run rampant on me during the second film. I suppose watching that movie caused me to reflect on my own love life and made me somewhat sad. It made me long to have a love like the ones Ms. Austen writes about so beautifully in all her books. But within that statement lies the truth of it all. Jane Austen wrote about it, she didn't necessarily experience love. Perhaps she was as I am, hoping to find something of a similar resemblance to the love she wrote about in her novels. The difference is that Ms. Austen never found the love she imagined but I am determined to uncover Love's whereabouts and claim it for myself.

Perhaps the love I discover will not be wealthy or breathtakingly beautiful but he will be mine and that is all that matters. Because I will love him and he will love me and just as all Jane Austen novels end; mine too will have a happy ending. A wedding in the House of the Lord for all time and eternity.

So perhaps being a fan of Jane Austen isn't a curse after all; she just reminds me that love is out there, I just need to open my eyes and my heart to find it.

I'm On A Roll...But How Long Will It Last?! Ha!

Haha...it seems I enjoyed relaying my feelings last night and find myself doing it again tonight. How funny?!

Let me set the mood for you. It's a gorgeous night out among the clear ombre blue sky. The sun melts behind the horizon while mosquitoes attack me from all sides and the Pride and Prejudice (Kiera Knightly) soundtrack plays in the background. Oh yeah, it's a perfect night for blogging. Ha!

But all jokes aside, it is a beautiful night to be out and enjoying it, so what better way to do it than to be on my laptop...hahaha! I'm all about roughing it with nature. I've got my laptop in my lap (fancy that) and my iPad serving as my musical device. I'm a Apple fool! So, on to the real purpose at hand...Repentance. My topics are so deep and somber...and here I told you the other day that all I wrote about were politics and men...so much for that, eh?!

Repentance. Atonement. Faith. It seems all of these go hand in hand. Wait, they do in fact! They are the gospel principles: Faith, Repentance, Baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost. Ok, well the Atonement isn't directly stated in here but come on it's in there indirectly, well actually pretty directly since all of it is possible because of the Atonement. Anyways, back to the point...repentance, the atonement, and faith are all essential in getting through this life. Heck, they're essential in getting through one day of life; if not mere moments. As of recently I have been taking full advantage of the atonement in my life as Enos did in the Book of Mormon. Perhaps I speak too boldly in saying "full advantage" but I'm definitely gaining a personal witness of its power.

In the Book of Mormon Enos "wrestle[d]...before God, before [he] received a remission of [his] sins...and there came a voice unto [him] saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed. And [he], Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, [his] guilt was swept away. And [he] said: how is it done? And [God] said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen...wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole". Here is a perfect example of how faith and repentance go hand in hand. Because of Enos' faith in the Savior and His atoning sacrifice (that was taught to him by his father) the Lord "swept away" his guilt. And with that guilt being "swept away" Enos doesn't return to his regular manner of living. No, instead he "[begins] to feel a desire for the welfare of [his] brethren...wherefore, [he] did pour out [his] soul unto God for them". Man...Enos was right on, along with Alma the Younger, the Sons of Mosiah, and the list goes on. All of these great men utilized the great redeeming gift of the atonement. They practiced faith, repented, and then went out and shared the good word with their fellow men through acts of service. It's true when you lose yourself in serving others, that's when you find yourself. And low and behold we speak of the importance of service again!

So, that brief scripture highlight might have seemed random but I bring it up because as I go through this process I find that it's heart wrenching and lonely at times. It's harder than my mission and that was dang hard at times, but this...this is far more challenging. Recently I was on a high. Feeling positive and good about most aspects in my life and then Satan creeps in there and jabs me in the side like the jerk that he is. And I, being human and weak, am like "what the...that hurt!" and consider throwing in the towel. Seriously...over a minor little jab I'm going to throw away all the hard work I've done thus far. Hells to the NO!!! But dang, Satan is good at getting inside my head and throwing blows below the belt. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Satan doesn't play fair. Lucky for me, today was Sunday and fast Sunday to boot! (What does that mean anyways, "to boot"?!) Well, of course I fast for some guidance and strength in the matter and am rewarded ten fold. Again, one has got to love the gospel!

Throughout the day I have been reminded of our Saviors great love for us and for myself specifically. In fact on girl in my ward gets up and bears witness to everything I need to hear and says it in a way that I can completely relate to. I loved it. And as I listened to her testimony I thanked the Lord for her and wanted to thank her as well, but kept missing her. But lucky for me I have her cell number and will text her a thank you when I'm done here! Anyways...the atonement is real and despite the challenges I find along the path of repentance I know that with faith in the Lord I, like Enos, will have my guilt swept away. And though I'm in the midst of the process I will strive to share my faith and love the Lord with my fellow man through service. Whether it's a smile, visiting a friend, or feeding the homeless I will strive to serve and think to thank.

Though this journey is hard I know that I put myself here by the choices I made and I accept that; but I am grateful to our Lord and Savior for making this path possible through his atoning sacrifice. And I'm so grateful for the great people He has put along my path to help me along the way because without them I would be a truly lost and lonely soul. So, thank you. You know who you are and I am grateful for your love and friendship and the great blessings you have brought and bring into my life.

Man this was not intended be some sappy sacrament type talk blog entry but it seems it turned out that way...geesh, sorry guys. But...I'm glad I at least have this outlet to express my great love for the gospel and all the wonderful people in it. Love you all.

Hmmm...

Well it's been a while since I did this. It seems I'm horrible at taking time to blog or write or do anything that resembles recording thoughts and feelings for my posterity or anyone who might give a damn about what I think or feel. In fact I talked with a good friend last night about my lack of journal keeping. Once upon a time I use to be an avid journal keeper and that's when all I wrote about was boys and how much my mom didn't understand me...hahaha! However, now my entries would be far more mature and deep in nature. I would write about political matters, work, friends, and men (not boys). Ha! Ok, so it would pretty much be the same thing; how sad!

So, what's the topic at hand you ask?! Hmm...how about death. Yes, death. Recently, my Aunt Mary passed away due to cancer. It was a sudden incident that took her in six months but I'm glad that she's out of pain and in a better place. Luckily, I was able to attend the funeral and it reiterated how brief our time on earth can be. My Aunt Mary was only 61 years old. That is young! She was healthy and always helping everyone around, never thinking of herself. I recall her easy laugh, quick smile, and that sparkle of kindness in her eyes. She truly was an angel that walked among us and then just like that...poof, she's gone. But the difference between myself and someone who isn't a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is that I know the plan of salvation. I recognize that families are eternal and though she's gone from this world; she's working hard on the other side to be an aid to our Savior and His work. I'm so grateful for the Gospel and the peace that it provides me, as well as my family and all those who know of its truth and goodness. Hmm...I wasn't planning on testifying but I guess it kind of just happens when you speak of such things.

Anyways, it was great to see my family. It had been years since I had since many of my aunts and uncles and cousins, so it was like a reunion. And boy what a reunion it was. There was nearly 90 of us that came out to remember my Aunt Mary and who gathered at my Uncle's house the Sunday prior to the funeral. Talk about a good time! And talk about an ego boost. Everyone was gushing over how beautiful I was and what a "supermodel" I was. LOL! Seriously...me?! LOL! I mean I know I'm not ugly but really...but it was great for the ego and made me feel super good inside. ~BIG SMILE~

So, of course the whole night I'm in a great mood because honestly, who wouldn't be?! So, I walk up to my dad, give him a hug and tell him I love him. He turns to me and looks me in the eye and says..."Nila you are beautiful but you need to do more service. You need to do more temple work and you need to do more service for others". And I'm thinking to myself, ok I can do that. I turn to him and say..."Thanks Dad, you're right and I will". And we wander off in different directions. Now my dad is amazing and I believe that he is very in tune with things, so I take his advice seriously.

Lucky for me I already have an opportunity in the works. I have a date lined up with a guy I've been seeing to go and feed the homeless in downtown Salt Lake City. And since that date I have applied for several opportunities at the hospital to volunteer there and have been researching other opportunities as well. It's amazing how many opportunities there are out there. I'm pumped and excited to start this adventure, a little nervous, who knows why? But I'm determined to do it. It seems I'm a bit self consumed, especially when it comes to how I look, so I think this will be good for me. And it says in my patriarchal blessing to do things that take me out of preoccupation with myself and allow me to serve others, so DUH, Nila...SERVE!!! Gosh, that just popped in my mind, that line from my blessing...DUDE...I really need to SERVE! Ok, I'm ON IT!!! Well, here is hoping that I keep this up and don't slack off for another 8 months or so. Ha!