October 2018-July 2019

October 2018-July 2019

How I know my kids are awake: 
Emerson:  He always hits the ground running out of his crib.  Pitter-patter, pitter-patter on the wood floor in the bonus room.  Never walks.
Aila: Lies in her bed and sings in a soft, yet high-pitched voice to herself.
Abram: I hear clattering in the kitchen--he goes straight there and gets himself cereal or starts making pancakes or eggs.

Olivia's birth story:
I was pretty sure her delivery would be the same, smooth, planned induction/epidural delivery that had been the case with all the others. However...
Three days before her due date, I woke in the middle of the night with a gush of fluid and knew my water had broken.  I wasn't able to go back to sleep but wasn't contracting.  The next day I decided to go to the hospital and figured they'd give me some pitocin to get things going.  After they sent a sample of the fluid to the lab, the result came back negative for amniotic fluid.  What?  The nurse was as surprised as me, so she sent another sample.  Negative result again.  I couldn't believe it, but they actually sent me home.  Here I was, two days before my due date with baby #4 (not to mention previous labor & delivery nurse), and they sent me home!  I was shocked and confused.  We picked up the kids at our friend's house and went back home.  I spent the day scrubbing floors again and cleaning more and continuing to leak fluid but not really contracting.  As evening came, I started to get nervous about infection with my water being broken for so long.  I asked Ben for a blessing and felt better about just going to bed and trying to get some sleep.  I do remember him blessing me with angels to assist in delivering the baby...Around midnight I woke up with an intense contraction.  10 min later another.  I took a quick shower and by the time I got out I was having to breathe through them.  I woke up Ben, who called Diana Murazzo, who unfortunately lived 20 min away.  By the time she came I was at the front door on my hands and knees.  Ben ran a few red lights, and when we checked into the Emergency department and the tech from L&D came to get me in a wheelchair, it was so surreal being "that woman hyperventilating in labor at 2am" that I had seen and taken care of so many times as a nurse.  Long story short, I don't think they took me seriously because I look young and they probably thought it was my first baby.  I kept saying, "it's my 4th baby and my water is broken!"  They were painfully slow at checking me in and getting the anesthesiologist that I was asking for.  They finally checked me and said, "she's at a 9 and her sac's broken."  Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist placed the epidural about 30 seconds before she was born, plus my OB was out of town and the one on call was not my favorite.  However, after a decent amount of yelling/screaming and trying really hard to breathe and poor Ben not knowing what to do, the sweetest little Livvi Mae came into the world (It's one thing to plan and prepare for a natural birth and quite another to...not plan on it at all).  Two days before the anniversary of every thing we owned burning to the ground, Heaven blessed us with a beautiful baby girl.

Emerson, while I nurse baby Liv, "Mommy, is she drinking almond milk?"

Livvi is 2.5 weeks old now and it has been a bit of a whirlwind with Aila bringing home head lice from kindergarten and finding out we ALL had it!  (minus Livvi, thankfully). Not coincidentally, my mom flew in 24 hours after we discovered it and saved us all.

We are days away from leaving Santa Rosa.  I picked up the kids from our friend's house (the Murazzo's) who live in our old neighborhood (their house was spared).  On our way out, I told the kids we'd drive by our old "house" on Aaron Drive one last time.  I stopped the car for a bit in front of the property, which is just leveled dirt but with the same black mailbox in front.  It felt good to see it again.  As we drove up out of the neighborhood and down Fountaingrove Parkway, I saw the most beautiful, pink-orange sunset I'd ever seen in Santa Rosa.  It was as if it were a sign that it's okay to end this part of our lives and move on to the next.

At the SLC airport before we took off, I was nursing Livvi when another woman came and sat by me to feed her baby of a similar same age. Turns out they are moving to Japan today.  We had a friendly chat and I feel like it was a little tender mercy that helped me not feel alone taking babies on a move across the world. We’ve been in Chicago for a couple hours...first class on our first flight here was pretty awesome. So nice to have leg room. The lunch was yummy and when the kids requested snacks, the flight attendant showed up with all kinds of candy and chips and nuts. Abram and Emerson thoroughly enjoyed their Pringles and aila her gummy bears. Livvi slept and the kids all did great. Here in Chicago we got to use the fancy lounge to eat dinner. I was nervous to take the kids in there but they did fine. There were several Muslims in there and the women were really nice, making space for us to sit, and the men were friendly to Ben. They also had their prayer rug out in the corner and took turns doing their prayers. We’re about to board our 13 hour flight to Abu Dhabi...pray for the kids to sleep! 🏻

Oh and we went outside to get on a shuttle and it was freeeeeezing!!!

We're on the plane and the staff has already been so helpful and accommodating. We already had a visit from Nadia, the “flying nanny”

Abram and Aila did great on their first day in primary. Emerson didn’t want to go so I went with him. Poor kid is new to sunbeams and was still really jet lagged. His black teacher, sweet as she is, is very expressive and vocal with a slightly raspy voice. She begins class: “I have some scrrrrap (roll the r) paper, and you, YOU get to draw a picture of....JEEEEEESUSSSSSS (said with her eyes as wide as ever)!!” She looks at Emerson, “whooooo is Jeeeesus?” He looks down and frowns. I’m glad I came with him the first time...crossing fingers he warms up to his teacher. We end up leaving halfway through due to his bloody nose, ha. 

Went to Ikea and yas mall to get a phone for Ben. We “coincidentally “ ran into some friends from church at the mall (a humongous, 3-story mall) who helped Ben decide on a phone and really lifted my spirits by seeing someone familiar. I believe it was a little tender mercy. The kids and I walked around the LEGO store and candy store while Ben phone shopped. Emerson kept picking things out and asking if we could buy them. I’d usually say, “how about you ask for it for your birthday?” So then he’d pick something out, run up to me and say, “mommy! Let’s ask daddy if we can buy this for my birthday and I sink (think) he will say ‘yeah’!!” Sweet sweet boy. 

Some days are positive, some not. I feel like we’ve been in Abu Dhabi for a long time already but it’s only been 6 days. Today I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed. Ben left for work, leaving me with 4 kids still trying to get over jet lag and a huge pile of ikea stuff we bought yesterday to be put away and taken care of. Not to mention we still didn’t get half the things on our list because we couldn’t fit them in our rental car. We did finally buy a clothes drying rack so I could tackle our laundry mountain today (no dryer)....so I fill the washer with clothes and detergent and just stare at the buttons and dials. No words, just lots of symbols that I have no idea of their meaning. I push a few, start it and hope for the best. Halfway through it starts shaking violently and I half expect it to explode with bubbles, but then it calms down and ends ...then I spend 15 minutes hanging it all on the rack. Every sock and every pair of underwear. I really miss my dryer. I start putting away ikea items and realize the glass measuring cup I bought is all in metric system...guess I’ll have to convert all my recipes. Why didn’t I think of that before and bring my own measuring cups? After I get Livvi to nap and nurse, I tell the kids we’re going to the grocery store so we can stock our kitchen (first time taking all the kids by myself here). I load everyone up and drive there, praying that my GPS works the whole time as I have no bearings yet outside of our complex. All the buildings look similar....as do the lots of sand. And more sand. Thankfully we get there, although it’s a different Carrefour than the one my friend took me to a few days ago...this one is not as clean kept and we definitely stand out. Everyone stares at us.  I strap Olivia on me and hold Emerson’s hand, saying something to Abram and Aila about helping me choose yummy food, trying to stay positive. As soon as we get in, Livvi (my usually easy-going baby) starts fussing. I bounce her as we choose and bag our produce...she only gets louder. Soon she is full-on wailing. Nothing I do calms her. People are trying not to stare, probably hoping we’ll shop quickly. An Emirate woman, in the store with her own toddler, asks me if she can help. I smile and say she’s just tired, but thank you, and then I finally take her out of the carrier and stick her on my hip. Thankfully she stops crying. One arm holding her and one arm pushing the cart. We continue up and down aisles, trying to find simple things like baking powder and salsa and black beans without much luck. Emerson starts to get silly and crazy (can’t blame a jet-lagged 3 yr old) and rough houses with Abram. I put him in the cart and Abram volunteers to push it. Trying to make it through the last two aisles...when I hear glass breaking. Emerson had dropped a glass jar of marinara, which sprayed onto all of our legs and shattered glass everywhere. I find a worker and tell him I’ll pay for it. He was kind, “it’s okay mum” and so I whisk the cart to the checkout line as fast as possible. How will I ever get all these kids and all these groceries out to the car? A nice worker, an Indian man, helps load our groceries onto the checkout stand. I pay and he also helps bag the groceries. Abram and I were both trying to help but he kept saying, “no it’s okay” and then I kind of panic because he is probably expecting a tip but I don’t have any dirhams on me. He helps push the cart out and load groceries into the car. I tell him thank you several times but he doesn’t say anything and just takes the cart back. Now I know to always carry dirhams for tips. Breathing a sigh of relief that we’re finally in the car, I follow the gps home. Now for the last hurdle—get a baby, a sleeping toddler, two more kids, and all 20 bags of groceries up to the 6th floor. Since Emerson is sleeping, I ask Abram and Aila to stay with him while I take Livvi up. After setting her down in the apt in her car seat, i grab the stroller and dash out, locking the door. Just before I step in the elevator, I hear her start crying. Thankfully I have a close parking spot. I load the groceries as fast as I can into the stroller, barely fitting all but 3-4 bags. I hold sleeping Emerson, divvy the remaining bags between me and Abram, and struggle to push the overloaded stroller up the curb and into the building. We finally make it up and hear Livvi wailing. We go inside and as soon as she sees us, she smiles. Now I am holding a sleeping baby and the kids are quietly playing. After a few minutes of crying myself and writing this out, I feel a little better. Keeping hope for better days ahead. 

My first load of laundry is dry: I pick up Emerson’s pajama shorts and they are stiff as a board! Haha. Lesson learned—I put fabric softener on my grocery list. (I used to just use dryer sheets)

So many strong accents here—I find myself constantly asking people to repeat what they said (frustrating for both of us). When I ask for help at the grocery store or a restaurant, they willingly help and I smile and thank them but I am no better off than before because I have no idea what they said, haha. 

Ben takes the shuttle to work and the driver speaks into his microphone...between the accent and the static, it’s nearly impossible to decipher what he’s saying! Makes me laugh that he even uses a microphone because the shuttle isn’t very big...more like a large van. 

Olivia rolled over today!! She can go tummy to back and almost all the way back to tummy. 

The laundry saga continues...this morning I attempt to start a load of whites. The washer won’t start. I try every button and every combination of buttons with no luck. All the symbols on it are foreign to me.  Not sure if it’s me or the washer. Exasperated, I leave it for an hour, say a prayer, and come back. I push a button and...it starts!! I thank the heavens. 

Tonight marks one week since flying in to Abu Dhabi. I finally got a chance to finish unpacking suitcases and it’s feeling more like home here. 

Several playgrounds in our compound...you go to one playground filled with Filipino nannies, having a ball together, and the next one bustling with French kids.  Not an English word spoken.

(A reply to my friend in CA:) The schools here are all private (for expats) and are all international schools. There are a couple American, some British...all supposed to be really good. But I am not willing to drive 25 minutes one way to get there...so that leaves us with two options nearby (10 min), which is where I’m hoping to go today in person to figure out our status on the waitlist. Bens company gives us a stipend per kid which covers most of the tuition. They’re very expensive! Okay so one cool thing we found out is that there is a French compound here at our apartment complex—we ventured over to the playground there the other day and it was filled with French speaking kids! Abram was too shy to speak to them so my kids played on their own but I think we will be heading over there frequently . Apparently the French army is stationed there. And I hear there are a few francophones in the ward so maybe I’ll find a tutor. (Another thing that would be easier to fit in with homeschool.) No, I don’t have to wear a scarf or anything unless I visit a mosque, which is on our list to do. We’ll get there...I’m still trying to get things organized here at our apt. It is furnished but just with bare minimum. Had to buy some bedding and towels...next will be a toaster and microwave and blow dryer . Trying to get used to the grocery stores here. Food is really expensive! And of course mostly imported and we really miss cali produce. But we will survive. Things are really family friendly here. Most everyone we pass out in public acknowledge and smile at the kids, sometimes pat their heads or interact with Olivia. We are getting used to hearing the call to prayer 5x/day. Everywhere you see a bathroom, there’s also a baby changing room and a prayer room. Our ward is great. With it being all expats, everyone understands how crazy and hard it can be adjusting to a foreign country with little kids. There are like 40 nationalities represented in our ward. Thanks for checking up on us, I’m so glad we’re staying in touch!

We are renting a car for the next few weeks (the first few days were interesting without a car) and are looking online trying to find a van. There are lots of suvs but not as many vans...however, parking spaces are really small here and I’m determined to have the sliding doors. The last thing we want to do is have the kids open the doors and ding someone’s Ferrari.  We technically can’t get our drivers licenses until we have our emirate ID cards, which we get through Ben, and he gets his through work..still waiting (we’re trying to learn patience—some things take a really long time here). So for now we are acting as just visitors/travelers and driving with our passports—and finding that what we read about Abu Dhabi drivers is true. People tailgate and flash you if you don’t get out of their way and speed and cut you off like crazy! So I just drive in the right lane where it’s calmer. Yes, we drive on the right side of the street. Rules are basically the same. There are a lot of roundabouts but never left turns, so if you miss your turn or exit, you have to keep going for a while before you can backtrack.

People are very comfortable here letting their kids run around the playgrounds/complex by themselves. Totally unheard of in Santa Rosa.

I asked Emerson to throw away his diaper. “No!! That’s gistusting!!” (Disgusting) 

We’re at a playground right now and there are several different nationalities here. Black, Filipino, French, American, Indian...So interesting. A bunch of French kids are here and I think Abram is secretly listening in on their conversations. “The girls are in a big fight and the boys are playing army tag”

Emerson: per-banna (banana), pan-pake (pancake), eed (need) “I eed some water!!” He also says, “I very like this!”

Fascinating time at an Arabian wedding tonight - camel was delicious. All the red carpets are rugs put down on the dessert floor (from Ben)

A lot of expats will wear traditional Arabic clothing on national day, so Ben is set now. 🏻 The men that are related or good friends here greet each other by touching noses and making a kissing sound...very interesting...luckily since Ben didn’t know them well he didn’t have to do it.  Both the groom and bride (arranged marriage) come from bedouin families so this was a more humble celebration. I wonder what the wealthy Emirate wedding parties are like!

Ben had to sit a certain way (left knee up) while eating on the ground. They dig in with their right hands, mash the food in their fist, and then eat. It’s fun to hear Ben tell about it and about the people he met.

And of course no alcohol but lots of coffee and tea, but they respected that Ben didn’t drink those for religious reasons.

Our time in “the desert” was a lot of fun! Kids all had a blast exploring with the other kids and boogie boarding (sledding) down the dunes. There are lots of great people in our ward that Ben and I enjoy talking with.

It rained here the other day—people were taking pictures and school even got out early because they were worried about flooding! Apparently it happens about once a year. 

Yesterday at church I slipped into the mother’s lounge. There were two soft arm chairs in there, one already occupied. An African woman with large, yet soft features sat across from me holding her baby girl, who I found out is only a week older than mine. We softly chatted about our baby’s births, making the connection of my nursing experience and her midwifery experience. She comes from Zimbabwe, a world away from where I came from...Yet there we sat in a tiny room at church in Abu Dhabi, nursing our sweet baby girls and realizing how similar we were.

Ben learned from his Emirate friend that the Emirates take out loans to build houses, and if they have 4+ children, the loan is forgiven. If they have less children, they go to the prince and sometimes the loan is forgiven anyway...

This week we went to a valentines craft playgroup (church friends), did a homeschool science craft with the Harline’s (made backbones out of froot loops and gummy lifesavers), and had dinner with a southern family from church (fried chicken and waffles) and the kids decorated valentines cookies after. We are feeling so so blessed for the outreach we’ve had here from so many! The Harline’s also gave us two huge bags of homeschool supplies, books, and math manipulatives, her daughter gave Aila a special doll she outgrew, and the southern family gave us a play kitchen and a couple other toys. Here’s a reply from my friend, Mandy Harline:

"You are so welcome! I’m glad you’ll be able to use everything. Truly, I have been telling myself for a whole year now that I needed to clean out my homeschool things and find a new home for the books and manipulatives we are past. I am so glad I never did until now. I think the Lord knew you’d be moving here and knew those homeschool things would be of best use for your family!  I’m so glad Aila likes the doll. Haylee thought long and hard who to give her baby to and felt really good when she decided on Aila!”

Our rental car is TINY. Can barely, BARELY fit our family and the stroller, not to mention any groceries or items we buy as we try to furnish our new home (though we are so grateful that the basics were already here). We couldn’t fit all our goods from Ikea so we filled up the front seat and Ben had to take a taxi home with the rest of the stuff! 

I had to go and get fingerprinted and health-screened for my Emirates ID.  The Emirate lady at the fingerprinting station said over and over, "Mashallah, mashallah" about the kids...(thanks be to God/praise/thankfulness)

Stranger at restaurant shyly staring at us (while waiting for kids ID photos in Dubai); I smiled at her and she came over and stroked Livvi’s cheeks and I asked if they had kids and then she kissed her. Then her husband told me she didn't speak English.  (Not sure if she thought I said she could kiss her when I asked about kids). I was a little shocked but it’s sweet how people take such delight in her. 

Doing our "Come follow me" one morning—“do you guys remember what we talked about yesterday?” (We had talked about the yoke of oxen and being yoked to Jesus Christ)...Aila goes, “oh! Eggnog!!”

Out in public I get called Mum or madam. Ben gets called sir or boss. (mostly by Indians and Filipinos)

Men hold hands while walking around—friends, relatives, father/son

Go to restaurants and people are eating with hands 

Service workers say hi mum, hello, good afternoon (three greetings in one) 

People (mostly Filipinos) will say even to Aila and Emerson, “hi baby!! Hi baby!!!” Emerson does not like it. “I’m not a baby, I’m a big boy!” 

In Primary, one of the counselors asked the kids if anything special happened over the previous week. After a few kids shared a birthday party, eating a sandwich, and going swimming, Aila went up and said in her sweet voice, “last night I was scared and I said a prayer.” She got a little bit emotional as she said it. It was so so sweet. She mentioned it to me that morning and I responded but didn’t spend much time talking about it, however it clearly made an impact on her. 

Emerson: “Mom, I’m still sick because I still pick lots of boogers.”

Emerson: “Mom, can I go out on the falcony?” (Balcony)

Aila, “Livvi is cuter than EVER right after her naps!!”

Talking about missions. “Abram, do you think you’ll go on a mission?” “Yeah, of course!”

Emerson, after using public restroom with Ben, running to me and yelling, “mommy, I gooed pee pee!!”

Emerson: “wore” = your

“Lose” = use 

Emerson, “is Jesus coming to our house tomorrow?” We’ve been talking a bit about the second coming. He was nervous about it!

Aila lost a front tooth today! She spent several minutes in front of a mirror twisting and twisting until it came out. After that she talked with a lisp and she said, “I like how I sound!!”

Emerson, “mom, not any of my teeth are dropping out today. Because I’m not bigger yet.”

Our favorite time of the day is read aloud time. We get cozy on the couch and read and read as long as we can. Sometimes they’ll busy themselves with coloring or other quiet activities but usually Abram and Aila snuggle up right close and lie their heads down on my shoulders. We started the little house series several weeks ago and we’re all loving it. When we’re done, we’re planning to make a big dinner and dessert feast like they would have made in those days.

I’m getting used to smelling BO everywhere we go...sitting in church yesterday though I literally had to stop breathing out of my nose because I just couldn’t make myself do it anymore, haha...smells due to the extreme heat and humidity and "different" cultural hygienic practices! 

Had a conversation with our stake president, a sweet man from Australia. He said he thinks home school is the future for a lot of Latter Day Saints who will not be welcome in public schools due to persecution. He had a strong feeling one day leaving an empty chapel that it would be a place of school learning for member children. 

The kids and I frequently get into elevators with groups of emirate women...they all say “mushallah, mushallah” and google at Livvi. But when their entire faces except eyes are covered, Livvi gets scared and fussy, so if no men are present, they’ll lift up their headscarf enough to expose their face so she can see their smile and that usually helps!

We’ve been so incredibly blessed with the outreach of new friends and church members here, and now that we’re feeling more settled I feel like we can do the reaching out and hosting. This last week we watched an Indian boy from church all day while his single mom worked. I took him and the kids to the soft play area at the mall and they had a blast. We’re watching two little boys today whose mom was just discharged from the hospital due to severe heat stroke and taking them dinner later. We had one dad over for dinner whose family is in the states. And another two over whose families are also in the states. It feels good to feel like we’re giving back. 

Fire Remembrance

I just came across these thoughts about the fire in my e-mail and thought I'd post them here just to remember:

I am particularly emotional these days, being less than two weeks from my due date with baby girl/the day our house burned down...not to mention the real possibility of us moving overseas in the very near future. I didn't think the fire date would affect me that much, but with the weather/feeling outside being the same as it was right before the fire happened last year, it's bringing it all back to my sensory memory.  Not just sad emotion, but gratitude for the incredible blessings we've had the last year.  At Abram's recent soccer game in our old neighborhood, I took the chance to walk around the park we visited so many times while we lived there.  I haven't been in that park since before the fire and was overcome with emotion as I remembered pushing the kids on the swings, getting family pictures there, going there to play soccer or football for FHE, running laps while pushing Emerson in the jogging stroller as I trained for the Tough Mudder, picking wild blackberries in late summer....I missed it all and felt grateful for the wonderful memories we had in that neighborhood.  Also, this last week when I picked the kids up from school and were walking back to our van, we heard sirens so stopped to watch the fire engine go by.  We see fire trucks out nearly every day here, so it was nothing new.  But for some reason, standing still on the sidewalk and watching the firemen in their garb speed by in the fire truck while I held my kids' hands brought lots of emotion--sadness for the loss we and thousands of other families experienced nearly a year ago, but mostly gratitude for our safety and blessings and kindness we received from so, so many people.



Hi Natalie,

Here is a brief retelling of our story...please let me know if you need other details or have any questions about emergency preparedness.

I was woken up just after 2am by some kind of siren outside.  In my sleep fog, I actually thought it was a tornado siren that I remembered from my childhood in the midwest, and it really alerted me and woke me up.  I checked my phone and it showed an alert that was received 15 minutes prior saying that our neighborhood was under immediate evacuation orders due to wildfires.  I woke my husband...we went out our front door to be greeted by smoky, warm air (it's usually chilly outside at 2am), neighbors loading their cars, and car after car leaving our neighborhood.  Our nextdoor neighbor was outside and said she was going to come knock at our door.  We went back inside, put shoes on, and got our three kids in the car (who all came out with their favorite blankie...which has been a huge blessing that they've had that familiar, comforting object with all the upheaval). We had no idea how close the fire was but we didn't take time to find out.  It was really windy so we knew we needed to get out.  Over the next 2 minutes, my husband grabbed two of our emergency kits (we had 5--one for each person), his laptop/phone, I grabbed a box in our closet with all of our documents, a couple photo albums and instruments that were near the garage door, plus a jacket and pair of shoes for each child.  At that point, we just felt we needed to leave.  My husband had the idea to take both of our cars to my daughter's preschool and meet there.  So we drove separately, which worked in our situation, but there is a heart-breaking story of a couple who tried to take both cars out and got separated and one didn't make it.  So we were fortunate in our case...we couldn't see the fire yet so After knocking on a neighbor's door and calling others, we met at our daughter's preschool.  We left my husband's car and started driving down to a nearby city to find a hotel.  At this point we could see fires in the hills in almost every direction from the highway...that's when we realized how far-reaching the fires were.  All the hotels in that city were booked.  We drove to the next city.  All hotels booked.  We called ahead to San Rafael...everything was booked.  We finally ended up checking in to a hotel in Oakland.  We finally got the kids to sleep and slept for about an hour.  Soon after that, we got a call from our landlord that the whole street was completely leveled.  So, for a timeline: We basically took 5 minutes to evacuate, and looking at post-fire maps that show where the fires were at what times, the fire hit our neighborhood about 30 minutes after we left.

So for our preparation prior to the fire:

A big blessing is that I had all of our documents (SS cards, birth certificates, marriage certificate, passports, insurance information, car titles, checks) in one little plastic file box in our closet.  I'm so glad I grabbed it.  This is not life-or-death, but having these documents has saved us from more headaches and stress and standing in long lines trying to get them replaced.  Being organized pays off.

Also, we did have emergency kits.  I remember thinking as we were evacuating that they might not even be useful, but I had my husband grab them just in case (he grabbed mine and his but not the kids').  They ended up being helpful in that we each had a second pair of garments.  Again, this is not a life or death aspect, but with all the stress and upheaval, it was really nice to be able to have two pairs...wash one and wear one and repeat the next day (my mom sent us garments from Utah but it took a few days to ship).  Feeling clean and hygienic makes things a little better.  Obviously garments are not something we can just go to the store and buy.  If we would have grabbed the kids' emergency backpacks, they would have had a change of clothes as well...but we didn't get those so they just lived in their pajamas for a day until we got a chance to get to the store to buy clothes.  We also had toiletries in our backpacks.  Yes, it's something you can easily go to the store and buy, but again with the stress and emotional times, the last thing you want to do is go to the store to buy a toothbrush.

We were renting the home that burned, but thankfully we had renter's insurance.  Huge blessing.  This would be a much more difficult situation without it.  If you are renting, get renter's insurance!!

What I mentioned before about my kids' blankies...this has truly been a lifesaver that they took them out with them.  We slept in 5 different places in a matter of two weeks when we were homeless after the fires, which is hard for little kids.  Them having their security blanket was and continues to be (as we settle in our new place where nothing is familiar) a huge blessing.

Of course, our testimonies in Christ have been the true source of peace throughout all of this.  I don't know how people cope well without that.  

What I wish we would have done to be better prepared: 

I think an actual mock evacuation would have helped us be better prepared.  It's hard to think straight in emergency situations, but I'm sure role-playing would have helped.  If you've already thought through it and practiced it, you don't have to actually think through it when it happens.  There are a couple things I really wish I would have thought to grab: my laptop and our external hard drive with lots of pictures and home videos on it.  This has been the saddest thing to lose, however, I'm convinced we can look at photos and watch home videos in heaven.  ;)  We are also mourning the loss of childhood journals and keepsakes/mission journal, etc.  My husband and I each had a box in the garage we could have grabbed but didn't think to.  I am going to start an online journal that will never burn.  ;)

Something else is I wish we would have done prior is known our neighbors better.  That neighbor I mentioned did say she was going to knock on our door, but we sadly didn't know her all that well in the first place.  If you know your neighbors, you'll help and look out for each other better.

It would have been helpful if we had taken our kids' emergency kits with extra clothes, fun snacks, and paper/crayons to help keep them happy and distracted.  We did without and thankfully we had family to stay with and family who gave us clothing for our kids.  I also wish that our emergency kits had clothes for my husband and me...we wouldn't have had to go to the store in our pajamas.  Not a huge deal but in a stressful situation, having people look at you skeptically doesn't help. ;)  All in all, we feel very blessed to have our family safe and a new roof over our heads.  We have so blessed by friends, family, and even strangers.

I know this is scattered but I hope there is at least something helpful from this....please forgive me for taking longer than expected to get it to you!  Let me know if you have any questions!

Thanks,

Kristin

Notes from May 2018-September 2018

KID NOTES

May 2018-September 2018

Me frustrated at dinner table (Ben gone, Abram and Aila lots of potty talk and Emerson threw food on floor) and Emerson says to me, “Mommy, just be happy!”

“Mom, is jack sad?” Gives him a hug

Me, “Emerson, are you tired?” “No, I’m not. I’m just happy.” Or “I don’t want to take a nap! I’m just happy!”

Me picking up Emerson with a sort of grunt, Emerson, “mom, are you heavy??”

Adam had earphones in. Emerson, “mom, does Adam have ear wax??”

Emerson pulling a string around the house and asking me to pet his puppy 

Emerson meowing and pretending he’s a kitty cat 

Emerson, after watching Jake and Daniels hockey game, “Mama, when I get bigger can I play hockey with Jake and Daniel? It will be fun. And I will fall down.!”

Home from Utah and the kids went crazy once we got inside! Everyone running around, Aila, “Mom! I forgot we had stairs and I have a whole new room!!” Then she started dancing and singing, “a whole new house...!” (We had just listened to Disney’s a whole new world in the car) Bub was so excited to see all his buddies in his crib. His two puppies, one doggie, lion, and “snoopy-dog”. They all had a blast in Utah but they were so happy and content to get in their own beds. 

Upon seeing a bulging diaper: “Emerson, are you poopy?” “No!! I’m not!” “Are you wet?” “No, I just has gas!”

Emerson, almost daily, “Mommy, do you has a baby in your belly?”

Today, Emerson, in referring to my belly, “Mommy, is your baby happy?”

It’s past midnight and tonight has me up in a whirlwind of thoughts. The fact of Ben finishing his third wee-morning-hours-Skype interview with Abu Dhabi this morning has my pregnant brain going crazy. I can’t help but feel like we are going to move there. But what about timing? I’m due with this baby in just over 3 months...the same time our lease is up on this rental home, the same time the kids will be starting school, just after Erik’s wedding and possibly soon before Mika’s wedding..? I like to plan ahead and it’s driving me crazy not knowing our plan. Today a friend gave me boxes of baby girl clothes and I’m not sure if I should keep any cold weather clothing. Abu Dhabi is...hot. But would we be bringing anything with us anyway? Or just selling all we own before moving there? But deep down I have faith that Heavenly Father will guide us and it will all work out. I have the thought that maybe a blessing in disguise from all our possessions being burned and forcing us to move 20 min across town was a little start to get us to “let go” of things and familiarity. 

Emerson: frisbee=“schmis-mee" He absolutely loved playing frisbee while camping.

So proud of the kids for trying new things today at the Wade reunion. Abram and Aila both hiked up to timp cave all by themselves and with no complaining, plus had a blast actually touring the cave. Then at the Lindon pool all three kids went down the water slide several times (first time for all of them). Emerson would immediately say, “uh do again!!” And Aila would scream, “I did it! That was so fun!!” Abram also tried the Lily pad obstacle in the deep water. They’ve had a great time at the Wade reunion. 

Aila lost her first tooth this morning! We first discovered it was loose while camping at Grover’s, and we predicted it would come out before we got home to Cali. It came out this morning while I vigorously brushed her teeth, just before we left Idaho to drive home. 

Aila is on her third nose scrape of the summer. Just when one heals, the next one occurs. 

Saw baby calves (less than a day old) at Ben's uncle's dairy in Idaho. Emerson enjoyed petting them but seemed concerned as he said about four times, “they want their mommies! Where are their mommies?” So cute that he picked up on that. 

Aila’s first ballet class. “Mom, that was so fun! It was the BEST class ever!!”

Abram and Aila had a great first day of school. Abram was a little tentative about his new teacher but after school said, “I didn’t think I’d like her but I actually do!” He was excited about the French word search puzzle they did and that he was the first to finish. He also told me on the way to school how he and his buddies always plan out their sports for the year on the first day of school. Aila was tired after but happy to show me her beautiful drawings. She told me, “I had the BEST DAY EVER!” Her cuteness in her uniform with her twisty side hair braid and rosy cheeks just melted me today. It was so cute to hear them discussing their day in the back of the van on the way home from school. Abram had all sorts of advice for Aila about friends, cubbies, French words and songs, etc. I have really loved summer vacation and not having to rush them out of the house for school. They’ve spent a lot of time together imagining and playing (along with Emerson) and I love what great friends they are. They both said they looked for each other at lunch recess but weren’t able to find each other. Abram was very specific about where he’d be so Aila can find him tomorrow. Feeling grateful! Emerson didn't want to miss out and seemed to have the need to tell lots of people in public today how big or tall he is—at the doctor, Trader Joe’s, etc...doesn’t want to be the "baby" anymore.

Aila talks about the new baby every day. She loves the name butterfly and loves to talk about where she will sleep, etc. Loves looking through the baby clothes and pointing out every detail—little bows or lace. I can’t wait to see her little face light up the first time she sees her baby sister.

Getting ready for Erik/Shannon's wedding: Aila wearing her flower girl dress, “it looks like I’m the one getting married because I’m wearing a white dress!” Then Bub comes over and holds her hand. “Aila, let’s get murr-ied!!” (clearly they have practiced getting married during imaginative play at home)

During the reception, Bub jumped up and down almost the entire time (when he wasn't on an uncle's shoulders). Had the time of his life. 

Abram, referring to the boogie board, “I wonder why they named it after a booger!”

Just finished lunch and Bub is looking very tired. But keeps saying “mom I’m just happy. I’m just always happy."  (meaning he doesn't want to take a nap)

Abram is up early every morning and usually spends time reading before we eat breakfast. This morning Emerson was up with him and so Abram read books to him, including a French one where Abram read it in French and then, without skipping a beat, translated it into English and told Emerson what it meant. So so cute. And I’m impressed how quickly he can translate. 

Abram’s French teacher is going to be gone the next two days and she designated Abram to be the translator for the class because the sub doesn’t speak very good English, and there are a couple students who are new to the school.

Aila spends nearly every waking minute crafting, coloring, or drawing. She frequently makes something (drawing or necklace, etc) for a friend at school and brings it with her the next day. This girl always has new and exciting ideas! Love to see her big brown eyes light up when she tells me about them. 

Me to all the kids: “Are you excited for the new baby?”

Abram: “no, because I wish it was a BOY! Actually yes because then I’ll have Emerson all to myself because Aila will have the baby.”

Aila: “I’m more excited than anyone else!”

Emerson: kisses and pats my belly every day, “I’m going to share my green bouncy ball with the baby!”

Aila just adores all the baby clothes and points out every little bow and heart and ruffle... 

Emerson lately has insisted on being called "Emerson" instead of Bub or Emer or "My sweet" as I sometimes call him.  So I've made a concerted effort in doing just so.  Only now, as of the last week, he insists on being called, "Emerson Finn."  He'll say, "No, I'm not Bubba!  I'm Emerson Finn!"

Today Emerson pooped and peed in his potty for the first time!!  Bribing him with gum may have helped.  He was so proud of himself.  We were too!!

Kid Notes January-April 2018, Plus Fire Links

KID NOTES January 2018-April 2018

I hung a little hook on the wall next to the play kitchen for Aila to hang her apron on. She loved it and said, “Mom, it’s feeling more like Home in here!”

Aila got a CTR ring at church today and she is ecstatic about it. She was so, so excited to be helping make dinner/set the table/etc and then Ben asked her to get diapers upstairs...she bolted up there, grabbed the diapers, ran downstairs and exclaimed, “I know what!!! I’m not superwoman, I’m C T R WOMAN!” 

Emerson and I were downstairs when I told him I was going upstairs to switch the laundry. After doing so, I came down to find him on the counter playing in the sink. He knew he wasn’t supposed to and immediately said, “no mama, go laundry!” 

After the Sister missionaries came for dinner today, Aila kept saying, “I know what I’m gonna be when I grow up! A missionary!!”

Abram reads hymns during sac mtg and softly sings. Usually Christmas hymns.

Aila—we read the words “nimble leap” in a book and now, anywhere we go, she'll say, "Mom, I'm doing a nimble leap!!" and leap her heart out.

While in Utah, Gpa Alan suggested that Abram and Aila play for Fred Tuttle across the street, who is dying from cancer.  We explained the situation to the kids and they agreed...Abram played silent night the sweetest I've ever heard, Aila sang about baby Jesus, and they recited what they know so far of The Living Christ.  I hope they remember the sweet feeling that was with us during that, with Fred weakly sitting on the couch and his angel wife, Mary, sitting next to him. 

Took brownies to Sandy next door after her dad died. She got teary and asked for a hug—Abram and Aila were too timid but luckily little Bub stepped forward, arms outreached, and willingly gave her a hug. It was so sweet. 

When Bub woke up from his nap today I walked in and said, “hello to my fuzz ball!” (Referring to his sticking straight up hair) He immediately popped up his head as if looking for something...For the next five minutes he kept asking for the fuzz ball and was really sad I couldn’t give it to him. He was finally satisfied when I let him bring a little soccer ball in the car to pick up Abram. 

Bub asks for toast with “Jammie” (jam)

Bub asked for a “headband” (bandaid)

Bub was really sad and whining in the car: “Mom ah go to Santa Rosas!!” 

Abram’s love language is a warm breakfast. Luckily for him (and all of us) we rarely have a cold breakfast, because he is the happiest clam when he wakes up to a warm breakfast, and a grouchy one when we have cold cereal.

Abram “sleeps with his bed made” so he doesn’t have to make it in the morning. 

Aila’s best friend at preschool was out of town for a week (missed 3 preschool days) so the morning before preschool when she got back, Aila said, “I wonder if her hair is longer!!”

Emerson was attached to a stuffed doggie for a few days—in the car, “mommy! He’s looking at my shirt! He’s looking at my pants!” Holding his ball and smashing it up to the dogs face, “mommy, he sees the ball!!”

Aila asked to watch Home videos today (one of the kids’ fave things on Sundays) and it broke my heart to tell her that we don’t have them anymore. Our hard drive with videos from our kids as babies and even our travels from before we had kids burned in the fire. 

Aila, after playing with the Thatcher kids during Abram's violin lesson, with the most lit-up eyes and rosy cheeks, “MOM. I had the BEST day EVER!! We had HOT salty popcorn, and then we went outside and played on the twisty swing, and then we jumped on the tramp and I jumped SO HIGH!!” I just love her enthusiasm for life. 

After mine and Abram’s bike ride date got rained out, he excitedly requested to go to the library! We both enjoyed looking at books and reading together, just us two. Of course 95% of his books were about b-ball. Then afterwards we got frozen yogurt. :)

Aila, end of piano lessons—her teacher plays a couple songs from her book and Aila dances with Pom poms or scarves. Today, Aila requested a “slow song” and she literally closed her eyes and slowly, carefully danced around the room while softly waving the scarves. At one point she leaned over to me a whispered, “Mom, a swooping ballerina...”

Had a sad reminder today of the loss of our home videos. At Abram’s violin lesson, his teacher remarked about when he first started lessons and was “yea high”....I video taped most of his lessons for that first year so I’d know how to practice with him, and unfortunately our video camera/hard drive with all of those videos burned. 

Aila, “Mom, doesn’t this sound like the most beautiful professional singer, except it’s me?” (Starts singing about flowers blooming in the grass in a high-pitched voice, while twirling.) me, “oh, Aila, it’s so beautiful!” Ben walks in the door...”daddy!! I’m the brilliant Aila-singer!” ...continues singing about butterflies and twirling around the house...

FHE tonight. Abram had the lesson and explained, with lots of detail, the plan of salvation. It was too cute how he aimed some of his teaching at Aila (knowing she didn’t understand it), and how Aila was really into it but also remarked, “this is hard!” (Especially when learning the words, celestial, terrestrial, telestial). Aila was in charge of activity and she chose to play king, queen, princess, prince, and knight. :)

Lately Emerson has been correcting everyone to call him the right name, “no, not Bub! Ehson!” (Emerson)

When Emerson gets hurt and comes to me crying or sad, “Chiss me, mama!!” (Kiss)

When Emerson is doing something he knows he’s not supposed to...I look at him and he says, “no, don’t see me, Mom!”

Every holiday or new season is a reminder of items burned.  Seasonal picture books with the kids, decor, a specific journal entry of a memory, etc...

Aila, upon finishing her craft, “oh, I just finished and it’s bea-U-ti-ful!!” I love her optimism and confidence. 

Also, “Mom, you wouldn’t ever be mean to your best friend, huh? Because it’s your BEST friend and you just LOVE each other! And do nice things for each other! Good thing me and Aria have the same best friend. Well not the same EXACT but we just love each other...she’s my best friend in the whole world.”

Knock knock jokes—Abram likes this one: “knock knock.” Who’s there? "Interrupting cow." “Interrupting cow wh—" “MOOOO!” 

Here’s Emerson’s version:

 “lock lock!” Who’s there? “Erupting-cow-sheep!” Erupting-cow-sheep who? “....moo!!”

At dinner we were talking about the new things Abram and Aila were learning in their music lessons. Emerson promptly left the table, and brought out the ukulele from the playroom. He walked over to the table and said, “mommy and daddy, watch!” And proceeded to play us a “song” on the ukulele. So so cute. Didn't want to be left out.

Aila, while coloring: “wow, this is just looking fanTAStic already!!”

New baby:

We briefly talked about names and Abram said without hesitation, “Sebastian!” (One of his soccer buddies at school) and Aila very seriously said, “Ariana”

Abram and Aila are both making plans about sitting in the back of the van together (right now it’s just Abram ;)

The night we told the kids, I lied down with Aila and she just kept smiling and beaming. It was so cute. And in between sucking her thumb, asking questions and making comments like “will the baby sleep in my room?” And “I just love babies. They’re fun to play with.” I love to watch her “mother” Emerson and can’t wait to see her with another baby in our family. 

Emerson, multiple times a day, “Mommy, Mommy, guefss what??!”

Abram and Aila both lately, “wow, that’s incredible!”

Abram, about the pregnancy, “Mom, I actually want it to be a double or a triple and all boys. And if it’s a singler, a boy.”  When he found out it was a girl, he put a blanket over his head and pouted for a good hour.  I think he's over it now though...he will be a sweet big brother (again).

For FHE we had an Easter lesson where I placed symbols of Easter in plastic eggs and the kids took turns opening them and we’d talk about what it meant. Each kid opened three eggs. Emerson was so pleased when he opened a stone (in front of the tomb), a LEGO palm branch (Palm Sunday), and a picture of the savior praying in Gethsemane. Unbeknownst to me, he put those items in the basket on a shelf in his room. Several days after that FHE, he was saying something about his legos and then he climbed up on the shelf to retrieve all the items. He was so proud! This morning again (a few days later) as we were getting ready to start watching conference, he excitedly brought his picture of Jesus down to show Ben. What a sweet, sweet boy he is!

Sometimes life before the fire seems like a different life. We are constantly saying, “before the fires” or “after the fires”

Emerson, “mama, that’s co!” (Cool)

Emerson, “I want to go to recess.”

Emerson to Ben, at a friend's party when Ben had cake on his plate, so sweetly, “can you share with Bubba?”

Emerson when I tucked him in, "I'm mama's boy!!" (We tell him a lot that he's a mama's boy...because he is.  And I don't mind a bit.  Although it might be difficult when the new baby arrives!

Just for record's sake, here a couple links about the fires:

Short Fox News interview a few days after the fires (a small FaceTime interview near the end):

http://fox13now.com/2017/10/13/utah-firefighters-headed-to-california-to-battle-wildfires/

General Conference Special on KSL: 
https://www.ksl.com/?sid=46290470

(the segment about NorCal fires with us starts at 30:20)

A sweet lady who made us a mosaic:
 https://santarosafirestormmosaics.blogspot.com/2018/

Notes from August 2017-December 2017

KID NOTES August 2017-DECEMBER 2017

Emerson: "nah" = yeah

"Obby"= Adam 

"Bah-pa"= grandpa/grandma

"Aee-yuh"= Aila 

"Ay-muh"= Abram 

"Bapple"= apple

"Wah-wo"=water 

Anytime he sees a bball hoop: "hi backa-hoo!!" (We hear this constantly in the car!)

Abram told me that "chef" at school said they picked the apples for lunch just the day before--so cool!

Abram: today we went to Stinson beach during a heat wave with some friends and borrowed boogie boards. You watched mommy and daddy boogie board and wanted to try...so you stood in knee deep water, observing and watching all the boogie boarders around you, while shivering and clutching your boogie board....once in a while, straddling the board on a wave to test it out...and then the last hour or so we were there, it just clicked. You figured it out and did it!! We were so proud of you for being brave and trying it and working so hard at it. When we walked back to the car after 7 hours at Stinson, you said, "that was the best day ever!!"

Went out for ice cream today (Labor Day) and Aila "LOOOOVED" her ice cream. "Mom, I just love it so much and I can't stop! *lick* I'm just going to keep licking and licking and licking! *lick* and I'm not going to stop--ONLY for talking!"

Aila, "daddy, you're the goodest boy story-teller in our family!!"

Aila, "mom, bub's getting SO along with me!"

Family morning at the high school track--Aila stopped running suddenly, "my cheeks are shaking!"

Emerson turned two! Two years ago today I remember walking the halls at the hospital with Ben (and my IV pole) in early labor. My OB passed us a few times and I remember her saying, "you are just glowing!" And I really felt like I was. I felt so blessed for the relatively easy pregnancy I had with Emerson (a tender mercy during a stressful time in my life) and so excited to welcome another precious child into our family. The induction and delivery went smoothly and we were so happy to have a healthy Emerson with us. And then that night was one of the most sleepless nights I've ever had. I was up with a fresh baby boy who screamed (literally) for what seemed the entire night. I was so worried he'd be a hard, fussy baby! ...but he never had another night like that and ended up being our easiest baby! So grateful for our sweet Emerson. We love him so and were so happy to celebrate him today! ️️️ 

Birthday oatmeal with "bapples" and "see-na" (apples and raisins)

Emerson, "uh pay gee-go ay-muh." Translation: “I'm playing legos with Abram."

Fire:  as we drove out of our neighborhood following Ben in his car, I told the kids we should say a prayer. Abram said, "I already said one in my mind." 

When the kids realized that everything was gone, Abram said, "well good thing we made a fort last night with all those blankets one last time!"

All of Aila's dress ups were lost in the fire. Someone from Cess's ward donated an Anna dress for her: when she saw it she literally jaw dropped and then couldn't stop beaming. This morning Abram really wanted to wear shorts but we only had pants. Today someone gave Cess sports shorts for him--his favorite. Aila had a favorite pair of Jammies lost in the fire. Today someone dropped a bag off at cess's that has the same exact pair in her size. "Coincidences"....

When looking at our possible rental home (vacant without the landlord who left us a key), Ben and I were looking at the kitchen downstairs, and the kids were just running around...when all of a sudden we hear from upstairs, “Daddeeeeeee!!! Come wipe meeee!!!" Ben and I look at each other like oh no...there's no TP.  Here we are, homeless people using random bathrooms without TP. Hahaha. No worries...we did end up finding some! Gave us a good laugh. 

Fire thoughts...Your future is as bright as your faith. Life/beauty rising out of the ashes. 

Sharing our story including God’s influence. He is involved in the details of our lives. Rebirth. No "coincidences". 

Mattress....we had been talking about getting a new one. I remember wondering how we'd get rid of our old one....check(!). 

10/27/17 

We got to sit in the third row at a special mtg with elder rasband and sister Joy Jones tonight. Elder rasbands wife spoke and sister Jones husband spoke as well. The spirit was incredible and they all brought so much of the saviors love with them. Scriptures shared: "beauty from the ashes" (Isaiah) "the lord thy God doth visit his people in their afflictions" Elder rasband shared pres monsons 3 things: tell them I love them, tell them we're praying for them, and thank those that are helping. It was an incredible meeting. Elder rasband said that just yesterday he and the rest of the 12 and first pres were in the upper room of the temple praying for us. This group was scheduled 6 months ago to be out here this weekend for the freedom of religion meeting in Sacramento tomorrow. Elder Rasband says it was not a coincidence but that he was sent to minister to us by The Prince of Peace. We got to meet sister Jones after. We hugged her and she hugged and kissed all the kids. It was really neat. It was an emotional meeting. Elder rasband was emotional as he spoke of the saviors love for us. Strong feelings I felt: the savior’s love for me individually, stronger testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel and that Christ is at the head of this church, pres monson is the prophet and the apostles are true witnesses of Jesus Christ. I again felt so incredibly blessed for the wonderful friends and family we have and how they have been Christ’s hands to us throughout this and their acts of service have given us peace and hope. I felt that the peace and hope I experienced at the meeting tonight didn't just address the affliction of the fire, but other difficult trials I currently face in my life. I felt that I have the responsibility to be a light to others and share that love with others; to testify of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and how I have found true inner peace and hope only through them. I pray to remember that and do it. 

Elder rasband blessed us--"as if my hands were placed upon your heads" and said that on the darkest nights to remember that Christ is the bright morning light. 

Sister Jones talked about rebuilding homes and to remember the "true home" that we seek. She shared her recent experience of watching her son die of cancer the last three years and how after much fasting and prayer, they were able to see the blessings of his cancer and be grateful for it and see the eternal perspective. She mentioned how in councils with the brethren, they experience shock and disappointment but never fear. 

We were invited, along with all in our stake who lost homes, to have a special lunch with elder rasband and other church leaders. We got to shake hands with and hug elder rasband. We talked about how blessed we've been and have even felt guilty for so many giving to us...

He said to ben and me, "don't feel guilty. Now is the time to be the receiver (then he got emotional and he stood closer)...you will be together a long time and your time will come to be the givers." Looking into his eyes I could feel the saviors love so strongly. How grateful I am for his service. I know that he is a true disciple of Christ.  

Abram: "when I was little, I used to think everything was a painting. I would just look out the window and gaze up at the sky and just think it was a painting that someone threw up there."

I'm sitting here in the ped dentist office with Emerson while Abram and Aila get their teeth cleaned...I can hardly hear Abram but Aila is back there chatting up a storm with the hygienist! ;)

Tonight at dinner we got a 20-min explanation of what Abram has been learning about Vincent Van Gogh (pronounced the french way) in his class. Of course I showed him Cessiley's Halloween costume and he thought it was pretty cool. 🏻 

Fire: beauty for ashes; the more you give, the more you have (things we lent out to people still remained in the end), nothing we have is really ours in the first place (god gives us everything)...going through our house and seeing closets and drawers full of clothing, books, and toys that were lovingly given to us, and I’m sure sacrificed in giving to us. 

A sweet mom at Abram's school made "wellness baskets" for moms whose homes burned. So so sweet of her and others who donated to the basket....and the "Sonoma County-ness" of it is making me smile ️...lots of stress relieving teas and immune support capsules and sprays...acupuncture coupon...

So many people and businesses supporting the community. Another from this week--a lady in our stake was friends with a non-member growing up, who now lives out of state and sells Lularoe. She sent dresses and leggings to this woman in our stake to be given to LDS women specifically because she "loves the way that LDS women serve and they've inspired her and taught her how to serve" 

Aila goes to preschool at a Presbyterian church. Members of the church have given gift cards to families of the preschool who lost homes, and in addition, another Presbyterian preschool from San Jose sent cards up to our preschool. Also, a couple of french schools down in the east bay sent up toys and french books for families up here. So we now have a little shelf with french books on it. It was all organized by the french consulate. 

Oceanside--watching the peaceful waves....continuous, constant, always there, everlasting...just like the saviors love and presence in our lives. Life keeps going and happening....up to us if we will join in and ride with the waves...Watched them in conjunction with the laughter of children in the background...

Abram, in Oceanside: "I'm just so excited. We're going to have a BBQ, roast marshmallows, and go in the hot tub. I'm so excited, my heart is beating so fast!" (Then he had mika feel his beating heart) 

Yesterday I just felt like driving “home” after picking up Abram from school. Still makes my heart stop when I see it. But it felt good to get out and stand on the driveway for a minute. Felt like I was home. 

Feeling fine today. Sometimes the sad hits me at random times. I told Ben I feel like we've been on a really long vacation and I'm ready to go home and take a nap on our couch with my quilt. But overall good.

I'm so grateful for good/happy/peaceful moments that far outweigh the bad/hard. Today's violin practice: Abram played silent night the most beautifully he's ever played it. So soft and carefully and meaningfully. It brought tears to my eyes. When he finished, I said, "Abram, that was so beautiful." He said, "I loved it too." Then I hugged him for a long time. And he let me. 

Aila, while painting: sigh "someday I'm gonna be an artist. Because I'm so careful."

I’m washing dishes and Emerson comes up with a measuring tape in hand. “Uh measure Mama.” (He proceeds to measure my rear end.) I say, “how big is mama?” He replies, “Big!!” 

Aila has never seen a princess movie, yet she is obsessed with weddings lately. I blame all of her uncles ;). She came out of her room this morning in a church dress, beaming and saying she was going to her wedding reception. She then begged Abram to marry her (he wouldn’t) and so she convinced Emerson to walk down the stairs with her and then gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

When I asked Aila about her multi-yellow watercolor painting—“this was in Utah when mommy and daddy were at dinner and we looked outside and saw a beaUUtiful yellow sky!”

We were walking at the zoo and I reached down to grab bub’s hand but Abram tricked me and grabbed it...and happily held it for a few minutes. Made my day! He’s seeming so old and mature these days so I will take all the hand-holds I can get. :)