Set Your Sights To North.
Just over
six months ago my life was blessed with an experience many people will never
have. I was given the blessing of knowing how to love someone over myself
completely. My rollercoaster had finally come to a stop, and I could get out
the other side and truly say “I am glad I did this”. Six months ago, Darling
was given a chance at something many children are not.
Originally
I started this blog for two reasons. The first main reason being that I wanted
to provide an account of what it was like to go through adoption; for Darling
to read some day. However I have looked back on what I wrote, versus what I
remember and I have noticed that there are more discrepancies than I ever would
have thought. It seems a lot of the things I said, were not the reality at all;
that I remembered things a certain way to make it seem a certain way. Perhaps I
was just fooling myself in order to get through the decision. More likely I was
fooling myself because I didn’t want to accept the answer that was already in
front of me. Either way, the outcome was the same. The outcome was something
more amazing than I could ever imagine. And for that I am eternally grateful.
The second
reason I started to blog about this journey, was to help those looking for it.
So that birthparents, adoptive parents, and those considering adoption could
have a little insight from a point of view that doesn’t get told very often. And
that is what I am writing about today.
To whom it
may concern:
There comes a point in adoption where you make a decision
about how involved in that world you want to be. For many birthmothers out
there, they think of the blessed lives they have because of it, and want to
support it in every way that they can. And of course Adoptive Parents and
Hopeful Adoptive Parents want to support the whole thing. After all they are
hoping to be blessed by the child(ren) they have, or are waiting for. And the
adoption world should be celebrated! It is the most awesome thing I have ever
experienced in my life.
Well I have
spent a long time now thinking about this. While I feel that this blog has been
a help to many, I would like to keep it that way. I don’t want to force myself
to publish new posts that don’t say anything, or at least anything new, if
there is a chance that I will end up saying something negative because of something
that happened to me at that point that isn’t really pertinent to the subject at
hand.
I see it
like this. After you have a placement, you have become so used to having your
life and all your thoughts revolve around adoption that it can be difficult to
move forward and get back on with life. But that is what we need to do most. We
can’t sit here and keep going it over and over just to have the same outcome,
because then we are given the chance to think about what could have been. What
could have been doesn’t matter, and there is no need for it. The only thing
that matters is what is happening now.
What is
happening now? I have a wonderful birthdaughter Darling that has an amazing
family. She fits with them so well it is more than I could have ever asked for.
And now I am going to go on with my life. Set my path forward, and keep my
sights on what is important. So this is the end of my adoption blog. Thank you
for your support, and thank you for reading.
Sincerely,
Benjamin.
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