Impatience

I have nothing in my immediate memory that competes with this week in terms of difficulty.

I have never been so impatient about anything before--I have been impatient before, but my life carried on and the anticipated event came and went soon enough. But not this. My life has stopped in anticipation of this event. I have turned over all of my work projects. I have been replaced in my church calling (temporarily), I have cleaned my house, I have no unfinished business.

So I spend my days either sitting in front of my computer at work, looking busy-ish, or walking around Sam's Club trying to stir up contractions, or taking a nap on the couch because the walk was taxing on my uncomfortably large body. Just waiting. All the time, wondering if this is really it. . . am I going to wake up in the middle of the night with contractions--or, even better, soaked in amniotic fluid (no, don't worry, that's not gross. Its exciting). Then I wake up every morning feeling fine and dreading another day in front of the computer.

I anticipated Christmas as a child, and my birthday, and summer vacation. I was impatient to leave for Taiwan, Russia and my mission (and even more impatient to return home). I was anxious to get married, to graduate, to get a good job. . . but life at least went on.

I just want to meet the kid and have my body back.

picking away

*****DISCLAIMER: This may be entirely too much information**********


I compulsively pick at my face every day. Every day I have a new little tissue dotted with blood spots. I will be so glad when my hormones go back to "normal".

Nope, still no Clark. Though, we are in the middle of week 40.

Thursday, Thursday

Hello all of my fans! Thursday has come and gone and yet, no Clark. Sad as it may seem, life continues to move on. This whole baby-not-coming thing is really throwing a monkey wrench into my plans, but what am I supposed to do? Oh well, life doesn't go as planned. I am sure that we will be estatic when he finally does make his on-stage appearance, but until then I will just keep waiting and wishing. . .

PS for your viewing enjoyment, another photo of me, at a random spot on campus.

Thursday

Well, its Thursday. And I'm at work. When, exactly, is this baby coming?? On his DUE DATE?? Who has time to wait that long??

Just for Jan

Being that Jan is always trying to get me to look at our blog and in all honesty I think that I have only looked at it three times (and one of those was to post a blog), I think that I need to post a blog to please her, because she has put much work into this.

Well, not much is happening, other than we are having a baby. School is rolling along, as always. I should be studying right now, but I think that this is more important for Jan's sake.

I have bets on January 30th for Clark to make his debut, but don't tell Jan that, it is supposed to be a secret. However, this Thursday would be really convienent. I mean, I have a test on Thursday from 9:30-10:20 AM, no tests until next week. So here is what I am thinking, if Jan will start labor at 10:30 AM on Thursday, that way I won't be worried about my test, then give her 8 hours, that would put delievery time at about 6:30 that evening. I could give Clark his first bath, he could eat something and then we all could be in bed by 10:30. I would sleep well that night, because I would be all worn out from the coaching during the day. Jan would slep well, because she would probably be tired too. The next morning Jan would probably be feeling well enough to go home, so we could check out of the hospital that evening. That means that I would be home for football on Saturday (in case you don't know, I can't remember the last time that I watched any sports, let alone a football game on Saturday, that is prime studying time, but for aesthetic reasons, I thought that I would put that in). See, I know what I am thinking. So will I just keep my fingers crossed.

I guess that I need to get my nose in a book. I will talk to you all later.

Ben

Just so you know. . .

I've added a splendid picture to the Marvelous Day post, as well as totally making up a post for December (Ugly Sweater Party). I wanted it to be chronological, because I am weird that way, but feel free to check them out.

Jan's Pregnant Picture

This is me. . . in all my motherly glory.

The Baby Shower

On Saturday,
Dani Vest and Asuka Cuff threw us (Clark and I) a fantastic baby shower.
Here are some of the highlights:
(Dani and Asuka)
(The last wave of well-wishers)

Delicious Pumpkin Rolls! They also served a variety of soups in breadbowls, chocolate cake with Heath bar on top, fruits and veggies and a miraculous beverage made mostly of ICE CREAM.

We got some great gifts--people were super thoughtful.
Jaz Michaelson gave Clark these Onesies. . . I like the blue one best. I think he'll be wearing it often.

Finally! Clark has some toys!! I was hesitant to buy any because I don't know what babies like to look at--luckily, Emily Beers had her 9 month old, Lizzie, pick out a good toy. I am completely confident that it will be a winner.

One of those days

You know when you think that the whole office smells like snot. . . and then you realize, its probably just you.

What not to wear when your belly sticks way out and catches every drip that you mistakenly let fall from anything you eat

A coral pink shirt

Kinda Sicky

So, from my perspective, I was going into early labor. Well, early as in, I'm not quite ready for this to happen yet. Not early for Clark--he would be fine.

I woke up nauseous after 12:30am on Wednesday morning. I spent the rest of the night clearing my body out entirely. . . every hour. . . from both ends. It was horrible. But, according to my pregnancy book, those loose bowels are a sure sign of early labor--getting rid of any obstructions competing for room in the birth canal.

Then, the cramps started. . . then the lower back ache (sure signs of early stage labor, according to my books). Then the contractions every time I would get up and move around. I felt horrible. I haven't felt horrible since my first couple of months, and that was nothing compared to this horrible sicky feeling. But then I went to work so that I wouldn't have to sit home and worry by myself. By the end of the day, I was sure that I would end up in the hospital.

This morning, after a full night's sleep and a good bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I feel 100% better. I went to the Doctor's and she said, "It sounds like you had the 24 hour flu." No pregnancy books ever warned about mistaking the flu for early labor. But it makes sense. My night in the bathroom made me dehydrated, which brought on the contractions, and the flu was just the general sickiness that I had suffered through that day.

I'm just glad that I'm back to my preferred reality of being pregnant forever. No baby yet, and maybe not for a few weeks.

Urgent

Heather had her baby. Heather, my friend who was barely ahead of me (one week) in pregnancy, who I made baby books with and who I planned to exercize with this week. Yeah, that Heather. She had her baby yesterday.

So I guess this is for real now.

Okay, I thought of something

Probably the most interesting and entertaining thing about my life at this stage is my dreams. If I'm not making out with a stranger, something is going on with Clark.

I had a dream last night that Clark was born, but he was still on the inside of me, so I had to feed him (cause he wasn't wired to me anymore) but it was through this slit in my knee--kind of like the opposite of nursing. So we tried to get him to eat this packaged food that had a string in it--(so that we could see what an appropriate serving size was, and because the string was stiff so we could thread it through the opening in my knee). The string had a colorband signifying when it was enough for one meal. We could see his little tongue (and I'm talking little) come out of my knee and get the food. Ben and I were just giddy that our smart little baby was figuring out how to eat so well, so quickly. We thought he was probably the smartest baby in the world.

Do you think its time yet, or what?

Nothing to say

You may have noticed that its been over a week since we last posted. It isn't because I have been neglectful--I've visited this site every day since. It is because I have absolutely nothing to say.

So there you go.

A marvelous day. . .

Yesterday was just wonderful. Think of something great that you would love to see happen, and it happened. Did you think, "I wish I had some place to wear this ugly sweater again"? Well, that happened for us--Ben got to wear his entire Ugly Sweater outfit (and a gas mask) to paint parts on his motorcycle. He probably wouldn't call it an outfit, but there it is.




Did you think, "I think it would be wonderful if everything was going well with Baby Clark"? Well, we went to the doctor and she said that he is in the "exit" position, head down, legs tucked in and arms crossed like he's at the top of the Free Fall at Seven Peaks (okay, I made that last part up. . . she didn't tell me that, but from the way he's kicking and kneeing me in the stomach I can assume that is his position). She also said I am progressing - one whole centimeter.

Did you think "Sheesh, Clark's blessing outfit needs to be done soon, since he is so close". Well, don't worry about it. I finished it last night.



Probably, you thought "Wouldn't it be great if Ben got a scholarship and in-state tuition at San Antonio". WELL THAT HAPPENED TOO!!!! Good bye quarter-of-a-million dollars of debt, hello. . . less debt (though debt will still be part of our reality).

And if you were thinking, "I sure could go for some salmon and vegetables" its too late. We had them last night too.

Just wanted to document this momentous day. Thanks for listening.