Since deciding to change the blog up a bit, every day I think of so many different things I want to write about. The moment I get on the computer, all my thoughts go kaput! Maybe one day I'll get the hang of it and actually remember. :)
Braydon and McKenzie are almost a year old, and boy has it been one of the most challenging, rewarding, fulfilling years of my life. We were in our own apartment for only two weeks after they were born before we moved to my in-laws house, and have been here the last 10 months. There have been moments of difficulty for me to raise my children in a household that wasn't my own. Too many times in my life I have been swayed by others' opinions and advice. It has always been well-intended and helpful, but I often lost myself in focusing on their view on what I should be doing. This "issue" I have of doing so has put a strain on my self-confidence as a mother. I feel I haven't been the mother I could/should have been, because I was too willing to change my thinking to match what "experienced" mothers told me. I am learning about myself and realizing I have opinions and determination to raise my children the way I believe is right.
Raising twins is such a unique challenge, one that you really can't understand until you have twins of your own. Strangers in the store will tell me they know what I'm going through: they had two kids a year apart, etc. No, you DON'T know what I'm going through. Because it's not something I'm "going through," sounding like I'm in a rough spot of my life waiting for it to get better. I am enjoying life with two beautiful, precious children and an amazing, caring, honest man by my side. I have my "hands full" of love and joy, not full of trouble as people tend to associate with twins. I have the opportunity to spend each day with two very distinct personalities, and learning to adapt to each one. I'm learning that routines are necessary to stay sane, even when I receive criticism for maintaing those routines. I'm learning to be strong and stay true to what I know.
To all you moms out there, whether you have one, two, three, five, however many kids, WAY TO GO! What you're doing is one of the hardest things you'll ever do, yet one of the most rewarding! Don't ever let anything make you doubt your ability to be a mother. Your child is your child, who knows them better than you? It's okay to ask for help and advice, to learn from the best of them. My mother and mother-in-law have been great mentors to me, but I've also learned to stand on my own two feet. I know what my children need and how they work, so I'll be darned if I let anyone tell me otherwise! To every mother out there, to every sister, aunt, cousin, grandma, any one associated in any way of raising a child, listen to your child, and your heart, and do what you have to do. I believe in you.