6 pounds gone for this month ~ 197

jan 21st
friday


watched the "shorts" childrens movie
i thought that movie was great
its all over the place so it really keeps your attention
i loved it

zumba tried to do basic 20 min express and it keeps skipping so after 20 mins of doing some and it skipping then getting farther and skipping and going further and skipping again i decided to do the wii zumba 45 min intermediate

up till 1 am went to see SILs for awhile
then came home and watched star trek for some odd reason couldnt stop watching it
usually dont like it at all
must of been a good one lol


jan 22nd
saturday



went grocery shopping
it was way too busy today at the stores
i think everyone is stocking up b4 the snow comes again


went sledding at MILs
up down up down that ginormuz hill 7 times
what an exercise lol

then went to kimi's and watched CASE 39
a good scary movie
id watch it again

had some hot tea and portabella brushetta which was amazing
oh yea and had to have some popcorn lol



jan 23rd
sunday


slept  ALL DAY   20 OUT OF 24HRS
I WAS  SOOOOO SICK


jan 24th
monday

2 hr delay
school was crazy
still sooooo sick with flu or something
still had to zumba  couldnt relax even though id had nothing ot eat in 2 days cuz i couldnt keep anything down
zumba 1 hr




jan 25th
tues



still very sick and of course no snow days when im sick lol
very upset stomach , body aches, fever ,chills  flu maybe i dunno
and i need the money so here i go off to work


biggest loser tonight
rip off only 1 hr instead of 2

the last 3 days ive styed hydrated by gatorade adn super c
but only ate once
going to try a protein shke today
cuz i feel like im gonna fall over


had a stressful day and night
cant wait to go to bed

zumba 1 hr



jan 26th  wed



weigh in 194 thats a 4 pound loss
but ill gain it all back when i can start eating again cuz my body has to be in starvation mode right now from not eating

zumba 1 hr

im really proud that i kept my workout goign even though i was still sick

went to bed at 9 adn had to get up at 3am cuz felexa was whining let her out fed her gave her water but she just whined for an hour
ended up going back to bed but i still have no clue what was wrong that night
she was really starting to freak me out


jan 27th thurs


so tired
tried eating still isnt working very well
lost an inch in my waist


autism meeting
was a good one
ok day today
no workout went to meeting instead



jan 28th friday



zumba 1 hr
crazy day at work
still not feeling great
went to bed at 9
hubby went to sil and woke me up at 2am
geeeeeezzzzz


jan 29th
saturday

weigh in 197    3 pound gain
wtf
i havent done anything besides actually being able to eat now
dang starvation mode

but on the bright side
i have lost 6 pounds this month and that is something i need to be proud of
but my goal for next month is at least 10

hope everyone has a great weekend
peace out cub scoutzzzz




here is bentley my sis's dog

and bailey

one day at a time ~ long post

so ONE DAY AT A TIME  is a blog i like to read
and she was reading a book and it asks you to answer a few questions to take down "bricks" you've built around yourself
and if you take down those bricks it will help you on your weight loss journey
she answered some on her blog and I'm going to try my best to answer the same questions

so here goes nothing

SHAME - I am ashamed of how much i let myself go and how quickly it happened and I'm ashamed that after losing 65 pounds i still look at myself and I'm not happy with my success

ANGER- I am angry that i let the unknown things in life give me such anxiety
I'm angry that some days i feel so Alone in this world but i know that i really not

FEAR- my biggest fear is that i wont be able to help my son overcome his obstacles in life due to autism
basically i feel like i wont know how to help him
even though everyone tells me i am already helping him so much through biomedical treatments and diet
I'm constantly afraid i am missing something or not doing something right for him
I'm basically afraid of not being a good enough mother and wife


UNFORGIVENESS- I havent' forgiven myself for the fact that i believe that my weight that i gained while i was pregnant (good old 70 pounds) hurt my son and gave him autism because of my bad decisions food wise

EXCESS RESPONSIBILTY-  i am responsible for helping my son 24/7 . trying to lose weight and keep the weight off . i am responsible for working as hard as i can everyday


PRESSURE-  i feel pressured about being the best mother i can be
to be good at my job and to lose this weight and keep it off

EXHAUSTION-  i am exhausted because raising a child with autism can be mentally and physically exhausting some days
because i push myself too hard to lose the weight
because of my anxiety issues

STRESS- im am stressed by everything i just need to learn to relax more often

PRIDE- i am proud when i help my son learn
when i do a good job at work and make a child's day just a little bit better
when i lose weight
i am proud of my family and especially how hard my hubby works


SELFISHNESS- I feel selfish when i take time for myself but i know that i need to so i can be around to see my son grow up

JEALOUSY- I get jealous when i see people playing with their children and they dont have to watch them like a hawk because they know that their children arent goign to just take off at any given moment
they seem so relaxed while their children are playing
and im on the edge of my seat the whole time
i just want to be more relaxed and know he is goign to be ok

i also get jealous when i see thinner people playing with their kids because i feel they have more energy than i do  and i want that energy and i wnat ot be healthy and happy and feel good as well

LAZINESS- i am lazy when i procrastinate when things really need to get done
i am lazy when i am having anxiety issues or get depressed  and i dont feel like moving off the couch  or doing anything
i just feel lazy when i am not moving around

INFERIORITY- I feel like i'll never be as good a parent as my parents are
i feel like ill never be the next biggest loser like i want to be ( hence my blog title)

EMBARRASMENT- i feel embarrased by my weight and especially the older pictures of me when my son was little and i was 265 pounds and i looked horrible and felt horrible

GoOD tiMEsssss ~199

SATURDAY JAN 15TH-

overate today
its alomost 7pm and im ready for bed
just got done doing zumba

20 min expert class
20 min single routines
20 min wii tennis

8 IS LATE THATS WHAT I ALWAYS TELL LIL MAN BUT OF COURSE IT ONLY APPLIES TO ME TODAY LOL

sat down to movie night with hubby instead of going to bed
we watched THE BOX movie
it was slow and boring and weird
i didnt like it
but the snuggling on the couch was just what i needed


SUNDAY JAN 16TH-

got up at 8:30
way to early for the weekend lol
did dishes ,laundry, vacuuming , and febreezing my stinky house lol
i cant believe this house is such a mess and i clean it all the time


now im listening to rihannas newest cd and dancing around (getting my exercise in lol)

doing some strength/scultping today
couple push ups ,biceps ,triceps, arm things of course cant just dance my life away now can i lol
(20 mins)

played the wii sports with lil man for an hour

hubby had to work so its boring here today without him
he works so dang much the xmas lights are still up outside

bfast ants on a log and tea
snack airborne lol im getting a cold again
honey wheat pretzles

lunch letover taco salad
snack string cheese / banana
dinner chicken and a salad

watched the 17 again movie
it was great , funny , just plain loved it

went to SIL's had fun but drank a little too much



MONDAY JAN 17TH-
lil man slept til 10 thank goodness i was so exhausted
trying to drink alot of water after last night
11-2 cleaned house yet again
its spotless
its was a workout all in its own

zumba 2 hours
fitness live and abs and the wii game

i love my zumba



ill be in this mood were i dont want to do anything and put it on and hear that music and im just ready to dance


JAN 18TH   TUESDAY    BIGGEST LOSER NIGHT

no school agian today
4 days off in a row
cant believe i got up at 7:20 anyways

b fast ham and provolone bagel  and tea

im so upset i feel thinner but i stepped on the scale and im still 199
guess im gonna have to work even harder

my goal is to be at 194 by feb

my goals to get there is to
zumba everyday at least an hour
and every other day do some strength moves

wish me luck

so im on my cleaning spree today were the beds and bedrooms
and bathrooms

fun fun fun
lol
cleaned from 8-11

then i played wii with lil man for an hour or so
then did wii active 2 and burnt 400 cals
now im gonna sit down eat lunch and watch me some dr phil housewives lol

lunch lean pocket and tea
snack almonds
dinner brushetta
dessert coconut bar



JAN 19TH WEDNESDAY

had a horrible start to the day
had a lot of confusing things going on with the 2 hour delay today

other than being sick with a head cold and bad bad bad headache today was a good one

6pm started to zumba
wii 20 min class
dvd cardio party 1 hr
and my friend heather came over for zumba
hung out til 10 then took some nyquil and went to bed



JAN 20TH

long tiring day at work
still have a cold/cough
cant wait to go to bed early

its 6 and you know what that means
ZUMBA TIME

did sculpt and tone dvd 45 mins
flat abs 20 mins
wii zumba 45 min intermediate class

for a whoppin 1 hr 50 mins

ouch

heather came over to do wii class

she brought her 2 kids to play with lil man

they hung out til 10 cuz there was no school again today

then i took nyquil and went to bed lmao
seeing a pattern here huh people
have fun with heather but still sick and nyquil it out the rest of the night lol

ne hoooooooo


TODAY SO FAR  JAN 21ST

snow day again
pay checks are gonna suckkkkkk

woke up feeling sore and horrible with this cold

weighed in yet agian at 199
how cna it still be that #
i guess i should be glad im still in onederland right
but i feel like im working prety hard and its not doign anything
but i have lost 4 pounds in 3 weeks so far
i guess im just used to losing 7-10 pounds in a month with biggest loser

ended up going to the bank
and then grandpas
heather will probably be over tonight
its a friday
fridays are fun hang out days lol
and zumba parties at my house lol

Hope everyone has a great weekend

Peace Outzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!





                                                               lil man playing in his car
pretending to go to the supermarket lol
see his coupns in the back of the car

lil man and caleb my nephew

they put playing cards on the floor and where pretending it was a maze

they are too cute

messy but cute

lil mans new favorite toy the scooby doo mansion

he loves scooby doo but this piece of crap is constantly falling a part so for any parents out there thinking of getting this dont

your kids will just be frustrated by it falling apart to often

i literally put it together about 7 times a day

198 and losing the weight

jan 9th-  

had a family bowling day
it was sooo much fun
i beat my hubby and got a 179
usually i cant get into the 100s lol
must be these new smooth zumba moves

lmao

jan 10th
back to work
ugggghhhh
everyone was miserable there today
i went into work in a good mood
and left in  a horrible one

but........

i weighed in at 199 today at 4:30 in the afternoon which mean i had to be at least 198 this morning right right right???lol
so thats a 2 pound loss from mu zumba
cant wait to do it again tonight

if i can stay in onederland this month i will be exstactic

bee's eatings

bfast   hot green tea and kashi cereal
snack   baked lays
wasnt hungry again til 5pm
i think the green tea really does curb hunger
snack   reduced fat cool ranch doritos
dinner    tacos
dessert    edys coconut ice cream bar

zumba 40 mins alone abs and basic express
then went to kimis and did 20 mins intermediate zumba class on wii
then ended up staying out late that night playin supermarios bros on wii
it was a fun night

what a great way to start the week


Jan 11th- Tuesday

biggest loser night
liking this season better than last one

bfast   kashi and tea
snacks baked lays  cucumbers
lunch/dinner   left over tacos and tea
dessert skinny cow ice cream sandwhich

zumba  1 1/2 hour
lil man didnt want me to finish the last 10 mins he kept slamming into me lol
usually he dances so well with me

he loves zumba
so ya never know if you have an autistic child you may want to try zumba dancing with them

it seems to make him very happy


jan 12th wed

snow day
went out to go sledding
and lil man slammed finger in the car door today
but thankfully he caught them were there was a rubber gasket or something so his fingers were fine not even bruised
i thank god (literally) for that one

did house cleaning and wash that day

did just dance on the wii for 45 mins and carnival games for 30 mins with lil man

pics from today

wolfetta  s i l's  dog

can you find the dog lmao

molly

maggie my neice playing with here doll

mags eating cheese doodles

such a happy girl

my neice kate and my sil jess  (maggie and calebs and kates mommy )

13th-

still at 198
im so excited being back in onederland
just a little sore
back to school today for us
my legs are sore from climbing up and down a huge hill bout 7 times for sledding yesterday

but i feel like im already a size smaller so thats a great feeling


bfast  kashi and tea

snack baked lays /broccoli/honey wheat pretzels
lunch dinner ants ona log and green tea

exhausted by 5:30
dont want to zumba but i did anyways
did cardio party and  wii zumba for over 2 hours
heather came to zumba so it was all good and fun

hubby went to a veiwing tonight
so he was kinda sad when he got home


heather is supposed to be coming over to zumba on mon wed and fri
so that will be really a great thing
a workout buddy for once
i found something other people like ot do with me as well
so its great

friday the 14th

school from hell today
all the kids were crazy
food fighting
punching
puking
crazy crazy day

so of course i came home and did zumba for an hour
then wii boxing for an hour with lil man
then

heather and the kids came over
we had dinner together

then wii just dance about 45 mins
10 rounds
heather beat me  she won by a couple points
amia liked to dance too
shes heathers 3 year old  lil girl

it was a fun night


today the 15th (saturday)

slept in until 9am
it felt great
lil man and i have the start of a cold  (runny noses sore throats)
so im gonna super c (a drink mix with alot of vitamin c) it up today

FruSTraTioNZZZzzz along the way back to 201

201 so im up a pound doesnt quite make sense
since i am zumba ing my little arse off
but im up
cant make it back to onederland toooo save my life
its soooooooooo very frustrating

so heres whats been going on

jan 7th
it was a snow day both of us were off school
yay!!!!!!!
much needed cuz my back was killing me
musta slept wrong or somethin

for b fast i had weight control oatmeal

lunch ants on a log

snacks 2 skinny cow ice cream sandwhiches and ff chips

dinner artichoke and garlic pasta


it was a cleaning day
laundry  dishes vacuuming the normal
li man and caleb had a blast in the snow
we went sledding and made snow angels
and ice skated on this lil pond in the yard

i weighed in at 200
ive been up and down and all around for weeks now
my highest 205
im hoping zumba is working
i think its my eating that is bad
ive had some binges
i work as a lunch lady so smelling food all day is not good for me
i come home and pig out
but ill get that under control soon

its weird i do better on weekends when most are messing up

heres one of my binges and i wonder why im fat lmao not

2 skinny cow ice cream sandwhiches
3 peppermint patties
a coconut ice cream bar
artichoke dip with stone wheat crackers
and pretzels
all in like 2 hrs
yuck

i felt starved too
it was like no matter what i ate
i couldnt get full
its weird
and happens at least once a week anymore

its probably emotional but i cant figure out why????
it felt like a good day last binge
so i dunno
but they are the ones that put me up 3-5 pounds a weeek and then i fight all week to get back to 200
its horrible
such a rollercoaster ride
i cant take it anymore
i want to be healthy
i need to get help but what helps for a problem like that

zumba an hour and a half
then 30 mins extra on wii zumba

ouch!!!!!!!!!!


8th

feeling lonely and aggravated today

had fun making bendaroos with lil man though

we also played wii bowling tennis baseball and boxing for an hour

made the best cookies for lil man and i
melted choc chips crushed corn flakes and raisins mixed together put into balls and put in fridge

yummmmmy

stayed busy today
zumba 2hours
just keep praying for 1derland soon

heather and the kids came over at night
it was sooo much fun
i love when they come to visit


9th   

 broke as all heck
unhappy but trying to get happy
no exercises today
just visiting grandma and grandpa
with lil man
he insisted on seeing them today to play trains with grandpa

i love it when he wants to do things
he has come along way
from severe autism

cant say thank you enough to taca.org and generationrescue.org and everyone who has helped us figure out biomed treatments
and for all the help from my family financially so that we can change his life forever

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its zumba time ~ 204

jan 1st
 grandpa's christmas/new years party
had fun
zumba 1 hr


jan 2nd
autism bowl
that was a blast
bowled about 3 games that day
zumba 30 mins
still no weight loss
but i ate cheese fries and wings so im just glad there was no gain lol

my son playin with his friends at the autismbowl

my fat a$$ bowling

i love my shirt though my son has autism and i do see the potential

my neice kate
she loves bowling
she better after 3 games lol



3rd
back to school 4 both of us
tired was up till 11 playing super marios bros on wii with kimi
work sucked
felt like i walked 3 miles afterward  it was just constant back and forth back and forth today   the kids were nutsoooo
but i was still crazy enough to get my neice and SIL kimi to come zumba
we did it for an hour and a half
ouchyyyyy



4th so sore
what was i thinking
dont want to go to work
just want to sit with my sore thighs and butt lmao

lil man loved going back to school
he like showing everyone his new toy story watch he wear every day


eating that day
breakfast whey protien smoothie and banana
lunch ants on a log
snack baked lays sour cream chips
dinner ham and provolone bagel
desert ff ice cream

was sooooooooooooo happy biggest loser is back on 

didnt like that they didnt show the new trainers yet 

love that parenthood is back on as well  such a great show


5th happy hump day
no exercise today
have a meeting i have to go meet the school district for lil man for kindergarten
it was such a long bad day
work was crazy
meeting i was unimpressed

eating that day
bfast kashi cereal
snack baked lays
lunch salsad with broccoli and chicken
dinner mc donalds grilled chicken go wrap   yuck
desert green tea

6th today

great day at work
great day so far all together

just got done zumba
1hr  with mom (10 mins  lmao  she didnt like it )

eatings today
kashi cereal
baked lays
salad with chicken
3 peppermint patty
ham   corn    baked potatoe with sour cream and bacon and cheese yum

time to go home now and go to bed

hope everyone is doing great with their goals

peace outzzzzzzzz

I LoVe ZUmBa!!!!!!!!!!! 203

Here is my horoscope for today
and its so true
cuz i am freaking out that i havent lost anything after zumba the last 5 days

You are where you need to be, no matter how impatient you may be for progress

it was kinda funny seeing that today



so heres whats been going on

12/29 wed
had ants on a log for breakfast
its celery   peanut butter    and raisins

my son loves them


did 1 hour dancing with the stars
fat burning cardio
mambo mix,hollywood jazz, and hustle and pop

it was very fun but ouchyyyyyy



then 10 min solutions rapid results kickboxing

for a snack i had garlic hummus and stone wheat crackers
yum

at night i did wii tiger golf with kimi for an hour
all i can say is i was hurting
but she got me addicted to it


12/30 thurs
golfed for 2 more hours

for breakfast i had cucumber hummus pita pizza
you bake it at 400 for 15 mins
its great

kimi also got me addcited to honey wheat pretzels
yum

golfed til 1am with hubsterz

literally my wii said i golfed that day for 7 hours
crazy

had to take an 800mg ibprofen the next day

12/31
new years ever
yipeeeee!!!

zumba for hour and half

loving it way too much lol

i got to be beto's entourage on the wii lol
mostly zumba pro though

had a great night only had 2 light mikes to drink
but stayed out til 3am

its was fun

hope everyone had a great new year

oh yea my new year resolution is to zumba at least every other day

out with the old in with the new

and my little woody