Things get distorted here.Gotta look beyond the obvious

It was another week without meeting her.I dont think it can be often like before.I was told that she is seeing someone else.Without her around .The world is being grey seriously.

Boring night with boring hang out.Meet some newbies and chit chat.That just make me think of how much fun hanging out with her.Its fine to have a chat but you wont have a really good conversation tho .Especially those puffing idiot .An uncountable gossips that I try to avoid.Cant just people having fun and being easy?Maybe thats the least possible things can happen here .Seriously,I get bored when it is being a gossip nights and they making problem to themselves.I just remminicing the good times hanging with her .Talk if needed,Dance if needed,No shits and the feeling being forget the world when seeing her ...............................

I gotta say it was stabbing hurt.When I have to know that she is thinking to get back to her ex. I was indeed speechless for quiet awhile,frankly.I wouldn't say she like me at all .She don't see me like the way I see her .It was always me that want to see her and keep asking her out.I seriously think that she never recall me whenever she need a chill time or accompany.I am not jealous persons but still sad to know that she get so many to hang out with at her top priority.

I didn't hate about my work schedule before knowing her .But I did when I meet her few times.Every time I can just do weekday date for a rush and inappropriate time of hers.I hope we have a common holiday and I can ask her to go somewhere else.I think that's the only way things can grow,especially a feeling issues.Somehow I was thinking will that be a different story if I was just knowing her from somewhere instead of a club.People don't usually be serious with the people they know there mostly.Maybe that's her perception on me too,by knowing me there .I'd rather that I knew her from somewhere else and things may at least still alive and rolling but not a dead-end like this .

The saddest things was always like you know you fail without a real trying .You just hate yourself to learn this truth and suffer.I miss those days when i first know her and meet her for awhile.All the things are so alive and feeling good .I see things change ever since then... I don't know the reason why or maybe she see somethings going on from me and she is trying to send some signal stopping things happen.

Feeling so much unsure of what I am doing and what I gonna do to make things work .For all days I been being nice and didn't ask things in return .I never blame on that .It just sometimes I want somethings too if it is real nice .She is the only things in mind I wanna get close and get knowing more ....Seems getting further now..............SIGH...

This evening sucks.It suppose to be a cool chilling day after her working days for the week.Plus her fun casting days.I am thinking to hang out with her and talk and get to know better of everything. It turn out to be a quick meeting and she get another plan.I cant say I am happy for that and see this coming .I am not those blaming persons but just way too disappointed.When she say she is coming out.I was like "yes" IT gotta be good after a long day ,not untill she leaving in 10 mins.It somehow shows she need the time to the persons she wanna being with .Whoever they are is not important .Just that I cant give her those attention.I just realized that I was never within any priority and she don't see me the way like I seeing her.It's a loud and clear message for me.Either try harder or holding bad .I need to figure out after this rough night.Try at least. I won't say wish me luck.Luck wont get me somewhere if she is not seeing me that way.Isn't it ? But I guess at some point tonight I will be way too disappoint or at ease...I guess I will have a better look of what the hell is going on with me,rather than just move on and get over that cause i don't really want it that way.I hope I can be a fighter for that as she is really good one .Lord,Please give me one more times to make it right !!I really need that

I definitely don't know what I am doing today.A great deal of distraction has encountered.Sitting and reminiscing all the good times few hours earlier like forgetting the world for the whole day.I tried things to take my mind off this but it just can't work.I'd be happy to keep my hands wide open and fall to this if this gonna be something coming true and if i see the possibility.Somehow it is like a big struggle..I cant risk if things can't work and ruin all these good feeling.It will be myself to blame for all this if I really change things in nature while they suppose to be healthy and good.She is what I feared most she would be and tried to ignore.I can't afford seeing this happen.

She is so nice especially when she make herself so much special among the people I'd met and I acknowledge all of that.I can just point out how nice she is in any second if I've been asked.Things are good enough and I satisfy with that.A woman with her quality can be bitchy and an mean evil anytime she want.But she didn't do any of that.Instead,she just being nice,friendly,respectful at all time.Can't ask for more.I am so addicted to all the rountines doing with her .The only thing is will she be having fun with that too?A friendship or whatever words describe the moment right now.That's what all people want.I am blessed I have the chances to feel this.

If what people say woman is sensitive.That would be easy for her to sense someones had crushed on.The last thing I want to see ,is she shunned me if she not feeling the same way that I do.

Everytime I see something real nice I start to keep real good distances in case it will broke.How irony is that ?Ever since I get this feeling,I been spending hours to figure out if I missing anything before I am good enough for that.I can't seem to grasp what's missing and I never do.Its like a abyss I am in.I don't think i will keep hope up to things which I really suck at this.Millions of times before I think things are on track and in the next minute it derail to somewhere I didn't see going eariler.Maybe just keep what things used to be and how it will be.Better this way......

If patience is a virtue.I think that's what gods offering me and I willing to spare all my time just waiting for this

Even no dancing in the middle of the night can be nice.Its a nice evening especially if I have a real good time after a long day work .

It's been real good to make new friends and listen to a so-called " stranger" experiences.All my friends and someone I like hanging out with ,seems come from this kind of match-up.It's start with a disappointment when her friend is leaving after the exhaust days.Yet,it is still good to have a glance and some hand shaking and little introduce.Hope to hang out more with her "gang"

Haven't been feeling so good for while ,especially the whole place is packed and all the familiar faces is upcoming.Just that some guys from the neighborhood drop by and saying like a fortune - teller telling.Having talk like" I watch you with her over tables and you guys are so much in common from appearance and behavior and you guys better be couple and he love to see that one day" .Couldnt agree less when I was thinking he is some drunk guys and pleasing,something like breaking ice talk .Not after he keep saying the millions face that he see and the examples he is suggesting .Start to agree more and bear in mind .I guess that is the first time I start listening what a drunk guy saying and try to look for the hidden meaning he is telling that .Am I just neglecting the things I dont see but they do...

The only bad thing is the party over too soon .I still have some rooms for more shots and alcohols ..XD ..So looking for the next hang out !!

Things are going crazy,which myself enroll being part of that maybe. That make me feeling like I need to get out of here and the routines.The ideas have been crossed in mind for real long time.I dont think I Can do more routines when i am more like spontaneous. Even if it is not a big changing.Yet,a little bit changing of circumstances and surroundings could help hopefully.Things must happen or alter or I am going to be in the same miserable position forever. Sure it will suck, and be depressing and really hard initially, but nothing can get better until a simply change ...

Holiday is bored.Especially after a long night and absolute no sleep.

Holiday seems meaningless to me.The shifting working hour seems offer me a chances for experiences more.Different friends,different kill times etc.I am starting to do things I used to do in holiday and re-scheduled that doing in a regular work day.Especially when I am cutting off some resting times.I actually buy more times.

I like hang out these days.The peoples I met these days seems cool and fun enough .Different apart from the regular crowd.Enjoy the time with her or them.

I like the small streets and a descent roadside tavern.Drink is the same even no music at all .The conversation just count it in what makes a good time!I like it when every small talks is doing fine.A conversation but not just talking.Cherish the happy hours that done and wish doing it more.I have no idea of this,if it will go well like that all the time.Especially all these years I see and be in.All the good time can vanish in a blink of time.

Something bothering me for the past months and I start to look into it .It was some problems that brought to a friend about some serious choices she has to made.Hate to say this but I dont really think this the whole things should happen.I am not judging and comment on any pieces of the things she doing and feeling.I am saying responsible of ones act and dont blame on what you done if you already realize the consequences.I truly believe that sometimes playing dump is a guilt if u are way smarter that that .Ignorance is no longer a excuse.If you want one .Please get a better one.You deserve better than this !! Wish you well

A month from now I will turning 27.I can feel the aging things seems eating me from inside.Or it doesn't happen but just the fear done the damage.Maybe from now on I should put this things behind which make me getting depressed on that constantly .I regret something have to do it sooner like 10 yrs earlier .I have just missed out and i do feel bad on that.I cant think of that no more ..............

Thought I will miss the Cavarn place after a month absent from there.Same music,same moving crowd,same smiling faces but totally different perception.The old time favorite places'd just become so so.I like the cultural differences I saw there.Yet,it become something hard to see.The local color is taking over.Stupid jokes and weird talk are the only thing I'd overheard .Anyone get a fun place suggest ?

It was an ordinary day like many of the other days of mine.Untill this evening.It was a crowed place with me included attempting to take some pics about this Christmas and its decor.Here go MK ,nick from a korea,a woman travelling alone whom trying to ask someone for snapshooting for her.This is probably the second korean I meet here.So we join for little hangout before the late flight she is catching.

Hanging here is little bit like paradox.It is small and u think you can go alot of places in a designated time but mostly its not.Stuggling with the mad crowd,fighting for a pedestrian pathway with the car actually its tiring and waste time.

We drop by from place to place for some snapshooting and quick turnaround of places.The lady was sophistated by the way she is talking.It's impressive when she could speak in every ground and with the senses of things.From finance issue to the corners over other topics.The biggest different with the woman here is ,when someone seemingly to process the same quality mostly go along with the mean heart and the bitchy character from intonation to things.Definetly not this one or not for those that is not born here.Sometimes it make me think that sophisicated and educated define differently.Someone get good educated can be just work on their theory in the paper and behave like a nerd .Being sophisicated is like you can be it once you get sense and you will reach to the level without any study of that.That is more important isnt is ?

It was the second korean I ever met here .The last one is like a yrs ago inside a tunnel of asking directions to a place and then I was offered with some creams they spend money buying here but giving me as a gift for road guide (which every human will do,not anything noable at all),here come the second one.Somehow i see them again on her.Maybe they are from the same soil and culture.It's cheering if you see some merit from some people that you can never find in here .Talk nice and soft,respectful and the ability to appreciate.I just realize she is frequent traveller by seeing her milage card.I was informed that she is able to travel every season or every 2-3 months preceisely.That's not something easy to do without being a flight attendant.
You can tell that she is just business woman by the outfit she was with,every stuff with her will go along with another bag and packing (organized).It is little bit stuffy for her as it is always colder in korea than here ,plus with a beer with her and the blushing faces.She just prove me once more of my long assumption that Japan,India,Korea,Thaialnd and vietname preserve soem good asian culture and these value is actually alive and so do their tradition .God Bless

IT was good knowing that she has been visiting thoses place I long for.It will be interesting if i can join for the trip that she start.It's good to travel with someone if they like the places as you do and you get the chances exploring with them.It's the experiences that good living with right ?

It's very short meeting before rushing to the hotel pack and head to the airport.The "almost undreakable" conversation with her make us just forget about dinner and the clock as well.The only bad thing is that I was busy talking without taking a pic with her.What's not bad that is I get a mental picture on her which stored in brains.It wont be erased like other physical memory do .Thanks god for one fine day !

It's been a very long time since I know someone in a nightclub.Most of the times I was just there for couple of beer and good music if there did had.The most important reasons is that it rather interesting to look at the dance floor ,seeing those lecherous locals that gather with their gang to grab some woman but eventually fails.And then back to their tables and bitching and backfire for woman's fault.Bla..Bla..

Tonight is much different.It's pretty crowd day for wednesday.There I share a table with a lady that come eariler.She is from Vietnam,Chia.Yeah,I probably get attracted since we start to talk and the way she was.I believe this is once in a blue moon time that I feel like it is "love at first sight",Maybe it is not.Just want some terms to find a word to define how it feels that draw one's all major concern at.Mostly I don't believe there is love in nightclub.Plus the majority sane one would agree there is no way you can hook up with someone that with reasonable quality.People are there just for a good dance and fun time.I refer to those unslutty woman and reasonable man.Of course there is someoen want to pick someone and pay for sex.Mostly you can tell by the faces and behaviour.

She is the lady that belong to the "just for drink and fun time " cataglory.Plus,She is the type of nice woman that you want to watch your every word not to ruin the atmosphere,wear that smile not becasue fake it but it smile becasue you have a good time with her there too.I soon get a real crush on her this time. It was a short meet like an hour.I hate myself for making stupid mistake not to ask for contact before she leave to her room.I probably not gonna meet her again and I probably regret this.Most of the thing in a club is "single -serving" .You just want to see if things can go further like being a friend or a relationships in real life.I just screw up things again.

I was too much into the ordinary talk with her.About her life,etc .... She might wondering why I dont ask for numbers or maybe she is not.From the way she look back twice when she leaving.I can tell she is willing to exchange for contacts for new friend or whatever .

Everytime I try to stop believe it gonna happen .It flash appearing to me but at the meantime it vanish just like what happen to me this time...Is that a joke or a sign of keep believeing like there is something good aheadI seriously got frustrated this time.Can't really get a taste in what I eat and the sleep is bad these days.Whateve it is.My memory got her occupy and I try hope this good experience can stay long enough before I can forget this time.That's also one of the reasons I am not looking for a relationship.It usually get pre-occupy by a good memory of mine and seems like it is irreplaceable.Sounds stipid but it happens to me !

Book Review :

Suckers: How Alternative Medicine Makes Fools of Us All (Paperback) by Rose Shapiro Rose is a books through the hard-hitting survey reveals, despite their growing popularity and expanding market share, there is no hard evidence that any of these so-called natural treatments actually work. It reveals how alternative medicine jeopardizes the health of those it claims to treat, leaches resources from treatments of proven efficacy, and is largely unaccountable and unregulated. Bracing and funny, this is a calling to account of a social and intellectual fraud that has produced a global delusion.Sad to say but I believe that peopel adopt this just becasue they are desperate to get heal by conventional western medicines.It is something to "belive in or feeling good " lot more than how it really works.What's more ironic is that those chinese doctors try so hard to promote it's ancient "wisdom" of medicine and try to make people believe in it.But the worst thigns is that when it come to serious illness.They are the first to turn into western medicine solutions.It is just a joke of how they want to country pride more than they can prove any science behinds them.

Sometimes we fail to offer a proportionate reaction when it has to be,when it comes to simple indiscreet word, a vulgar remark, a single instance of nosiness, an attempt of manipulation really would deserve kicking the person ass without pity and restraint

Refer to the nosy people and the manipulator whom busy trying to pry into other people business, with the efficiency of a worker ant and with slyness clad in a guise of innocence, the nosy person thinks the other does not realise

But we are civil, and we smile and might even pretend not to notice. We will simply stop calling him or her. He or she will simply stop existing for us. And you can bet, he or she will never know why (despite his or her maliciousness, the nosy often lacks subtlety). You can bet, he or she might even think we are ungrateful.But trying to explain or arguing entail a relationship of some sort.

That's why it's not worth.They will simply be put in the phantom zone. (Quote)

Just happen to see this interesting topics on net surfing the other days.I been always question whoever written this must not get something better to do,yet I find some points are great which we know but never do, or are to lazy to do.Anyway,Its all about improvising, not about doing the list point by point. Apply it bf/gf. It swings both ways i believe.Let's take a look how you find it maybe useful to make the romance works .

1. Massage her feet

2. Clean her car

3. Stick a post-it love note in the kitchen

4. Snuggle

5. Make a romantic mix CD

6. Dance under the stars (with your mix CD playing from the car)

7. Hide love notes in her house and car (make sure she'll find them fairly soon)

8. Have an undisturbed conversation (turn off phones, tv, computer etc.)

9. Light every candle you have to set a seductive, intimate mood

10. Pick up a pie or cake for dessert

11. Do the laundry

12. Write a message on the mirror with a bar of soap

13. Make a calender with photos of both of you together

14. Unwind with a glass of wine

15. Pick her up and carry her to the bed or couch

16. Complete her Honey-Do list

17. Download a new ring to her cell phone for your calls

18. Share things about your day (work, family, clients, events)

19. Restock the cabinets with her favorite food or drink (don't forget to leave a note with it)

20. Hold hands

21. Change her oil

22. Give a sincere compliment

23. Go on a walk together

24. Run your fingers through her hair and give her a head rub

25. Go for a joy ride on a scenic road

26. Fold cloths during a game or on your tv show commercials

27. Change her computer screen saver to a love message

28. Cook a meal together

29. Do a slow dance after dinner

30. Kiss when you leave

31. Help her with a project

32. Thank her for a meal she cooked

33. Go grocery shopping together

34. Have a sunrise coffee date (even if it's just from your deck or window)

35. Hold each other during a big storm

36. Put the toilet seat down (let her know you did it for her)

37. Slip a love note in her purse or work tote

38. Spend 30 mins power cleaning together and 30 mins passionately lovin

39. Waltz around the room during a commercial break

40. Kiss when you arrive

41. Make dinner for her

42. Say "I love you because ______"

43. Find out one of her fantasies and make it happen

44. Pay her a compliment in front of people you know

45. Make a "10 favorite memories together" list

46. Do yard work (shovel snow, rake leaves, mow, prune, plant)

47. Send a love ransom note with cut out letters

48. Spend time learning/doing her hobby with her

49. Stop at a scenic outlook enjoy the view and each other

50. Get a sensual game to play together

51. Take the garbage out

52. Put a love note with her lunch

53. Go on a bike ride or roller blade together

54. Bring her breakfast or coffee in bed

55. Open doors for her

56. Fix something

57. Leave some Hershey kisses on the pillow

58. Play if/then. If you ______, then I'll ______

59. Tell her you are proud of her

60. Dance to a classic 80's song

61. Carry her bags/boxes/books

62. Send a thinking of you email

63. Bake a cake and decorate it with a creative message

64. Act out her favorite love scene from a movie

65. Make a "10 things I love about you" list

66. Help with or do the dishes

67. Write a love note on her calender or in her planner

68. Collect a wild flower bouquet for her

69. Tell her you like her style

70. Kiss each of her finger tips

71. Send a romantic greeting

72. Give a midday call

73. Serenade her with a cheesy love song (in the privacy of your home)

74. Have a quickie somewhere new

75. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear

76. Take some scandalous photos together or of each other

77. Write a love message on the beach or in fresh snow

78. Set your alarm 15 minutes earlier and snuggle in the morning

79. Take a minute to enjoy the sunset together

80. Take a romantic bath

81. Pull out her chair before sitting

82. Give her a big, long hug

83. Make a favorite things about you list

84. Plant a tree or flowers together

85. Let her know that she is the perfect match for you

86. Vacuum, dust or clean the toilet

87. Leave a goofy love message on her phone

88. Experiment with chocolate body paints

89. Make an "I love the ways you love me" list

90. Rub each other down in the shower

91. Be her slave for a day

92. Make a cheesy love poem

93. Make a meal together

94. Pack something special with her lunch (kisses, a note, her favorite snack)

95. Have a breakfast date discuss your plans for the day

96. Take care of car maintenance (oil, tire rotation, check fluids)

97. Express appreciation for specific things she does for you

98. Massage her neck and shoulders

99. Make her a gift

100. Play footsie

101. Offer to help with anything