yawn

WAHLAUWEI -rolls eyes,flashes middle finger

one blind bat

OKAYE. THIS IS SO ANNOYING. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE MY PAIR OF SPECS IS. I`VE MISPLACED IT SINCE LAST NIGHT. I DON`T KNOW WHERE THE REST OF MY OLD SPECS ARE BUT POINT IS, I CAN`T SEE CLEARLY, PLS. 750 degrees for both eyes okaaaaaaaye. & hence i have to resort to wearing my contacts in the house. bummer.

changes

HELLLO. okaye so yesterday i got my hair straightened again & my fringe chopped. i didn`t want it to be too straight since i`ll be chopping it off real short next week. well, even if i change my mind, my hair`s so much neater now. anyway, if i`m gonna cut, think Keira Knightley`s do. yes, i no longer have that long annoying side swept fringe which covers my eye most of the time. However, my current fringe makes my eyes itch coz it`s sitting exactly on my eyelashes & it`s all nt of the same length. i don`t wanna have that Cleopatra-ish fringe. & no, there won`t be any pics yet. My fringe lacks volume currently becoz it`s still flat. So you wait xD

so when i entered the house,

me: How`s my new hair? *smiles reeeeeeal wide*
mummy: yes it's obvious and nice. did u get botox in ur cheeks?

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. okaye the current fringe somehow just accentuates my cheeks more. good or bad, i dunno. HAHAHAHAHA xD & the hairdresser thinks i should chop it short as well since i have a defined jaw. But really, I have no idea, But then again, maybe it`s time for a change.

BYE BYE.

like honey

I stumbled upon this blog, which apparently belongs to one of the students i`ve taught at CCSS. & her name is zahra, a really small girl with a big heart (: uber sweet & really touches my heart (: you can click to enlarge the image. it`s little things like this that matter the most. & suddenly, i thought about the great 2 weeks I spent at CCSS. okaye so now tell me, how many of you have actually fallen in love & liked your relief teacher? HAHA.

Coincidentally, yesterday while i was shopping at parkway with dahliah, i received a call from Mrs Amarpal, one of the teachers from CCSS, & she asked me about my teaching results. HAHA. how nice of her to have remembered me. but unfortunately, the letter isn`t here yet xD

Anyway, Eunos Primary called me up at 0730 this morning & wanted me to relief teach today. & i was supposed to be in sch by what, 0800?! Even if my daddy drove me down, I wouldn`t make it on time. So i turned it down and the clerk apologised for the late notice. the very late notice -.-

Moving on, Monday night was Starbucks with my fav girls, zaz & dahliah, caught up with each other, updating stuff & i realised how much i`ve missed them. Yesterday morning was mcdonalds-loving with them. We had breakfast & boy, could we talk. HAHAHAHAHA.



me, zaz, lia (:

I hate camera phones, really. The funny part was we had to keep re-taking the pics coz dahliah always had this seductive look on her face & she wasn`t happy with that. So that`s us after a hearty breakfast & a gooooooooood meaningful catching up session. & bitching too la. What do you expect. Check out zaz`s smile! She must be darn happy to get it all out of her system! A,B,C ? HAHAHAHA. I love you both! (: & this image is damn huge, please.

Okaye time to skip & do abs training! Post breakup isnt the time to sit & whine & cry & binge on food (: Well at least not for me (:

:DDDDDDDD

so sick & tired of all the needless beating

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday" ?
I Don`t Love You - MCR

& as the story goes

Sometimes, there are certain mistakes someone so dear to you make that it cuts you real bad. So bad that you become clueless & feel so lost, you don`t even know if you should cry or shrug it off. Your anger reaches the limit & u just have no idea what to do. I can`t say I`m angry coz my anger has subsided. Now the after effects are sinking in. All the way down in the doldrums, that`s where I am now. Sorrow has just surfaced.

I`m sorry this second chance didn`t work for us. I can only take so much. I badly wanted this to work out, but I guess things happen & these things just occurred at the wrong time & you made those mistakes when things just aren`t in the right places. I am sincerely sorry for every little thing I have done which might have hurt you. To err is human, to forgive is divine.

I seek solace in God & may He always guide me onto His path & give me strength to overcome all these obstacles. I am an intrepid girl, i know that. I accept this defeat with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. No tears, no sobs. I`ve got all my life to live, all my love to give. I`ll learn from these mistakes & be a better one to the next man. There`ll be a better tomorrow.

I cannot live my life bearing grudges on anyone. I don`t hate anything or anyone. Just dislike. I cannot live my life knowing that I`ve not tried my best to salvage the situation. Because you mean alot to me. I cannot live my life knowing that one day, i`ll look back & say things like 'i should have done this', 'i should have done that'. I refuse to turn. I am not going to look back. We`ve done our best, there`s no room for regrets. I am marching forward. Unfortunately, this chapter has officially closed & although i`m bruised & tainted, I`ll pucker up. & the brutal truth? Life goes on & we move on.

On another note, I miss Afiq already. Thank you, buddy. For always being there, even when ur in camp. & to dahliah & zaz, you both are the gems of my life. thank you. i`ll see you guys tomorrow morning. & to aish & amirah, thank you for being my pillars of strength. Thank You God, for these wondrous people in my life. I am eternally grateful.

youdon`tknowhowmuchthishurts:(

too much of the bickering, kill it with the sound

EEEKS. There`s so much negativity going round these days in my blog & those I usually go to. A little too much of jealousy, wrath, hatred, vengeance, anger, sorrow. It`s affecting me, really.

Why can`t people just mind their own business? Why can`t girls quit comparing? i mean , who the heck cares if someone else is pretty or not? DAMN. that 6-letter word. SERIOUSLY, what the fuck is beauty? Why do u care if i`m uglier or prettier than you?! So what? There are millions of others out there who are so much prettier & better than you. God made me this way so what do u fucking expect me to do? Pour acid on myself? Go under the knife to beautify myself? So what if I don`t talk like you & your friends? If i don`t dress like you & your friends? If I don`t do all the things u do like you & your friends? If I don`t think about things like you & your friends? SO WHAT? JUST WHAT IS IT? TELL ME. what`s with all these hatred & anger?

by snooping around my blog & telling all ur friends to view me, u must be so damn insecured. either that or something`s really wrong with ur fucking brain. & if you have issues with me, THEN TELL ME... SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH YOU? i apologise for the profanities & i know it`s shallow of me to do so just because i`m angry. but I`m absolutely mad & pissed right now.

Girls these days are just so idk what. & that includes me. Whatever happened to all the love in the world?

how now, brown cow?

THE BOY & ME. We were supposed to be in bed by 0200. No, we ARE supposed to be in bed by 0200 EVERYDAY. But it`s almost 0400 now & he`s watching POWER RANGERS & i`m doing nothing, really. Just got the urge to sing to my toes.

On another note, i think we are weird. No, i KNOW we are weird. we are actually talking serious things out now while he`s watching Power Rangers & me? let`s just say i`m enjoying the sounds my empty tummy`s making.

I CANT BELIEVE THERE`S SUCH A THING AS APOLOGISING ON SOMEONE`S BEHALF BUT HECK.

HA HA HA

EWWW. Aish, do me a favour & tell that MISS I-THINK-I`M-HOT-COZ-MY-BOOBS-ARE-SPILLING-OUT-OF-MY-TOP-AND-I-KNOW-THE-BOYS-LIKE-IT-AND-I-THINK-I`M-SO-SKINNY-WOO-I`M-HOT-AND-FIT-IS-NOT to shut up already, please.

I possess no interest in knowing what she does, what she eats, who she goes out with, how she sleeps, what she wears, what the color of her toothbrush is etc. no interest AT ALL. nah uh. nada. nil. zilch. & to even read her blog, now that`ll be the last thing on Earth I`d do. No, wait. i won`t even read coz i`ll be busy searching for more worthy things to do.

She seriously needs some oral fixation before she spits balderdash out of her filthy mouth. What oral fixation? Well let`s just say she ought to sit on the shelf like a pretty doll & not open her mouth coz it`s not a pretty sight once she opens her mouth & flashes her crooked teeth. & that thrash talk that comes out of her mouth? Sheesh, she ought to look at herself in the mirror, not only to look at her flabby, fat self, but to also analyse what lies beneath that. but it takes more than a mirror to do that.

so what next? "OH I THINK FIT IS SO FAT & UGLY" ? if you`re gonna say that & make people agree with you, then I say fat hope. oops, sorry i`m not sorry at all. FAT HOPE. pun intended (: or maybe "FIT IS NOT PRETTY, RIGHT? WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE PRETTIER ONE?" you know..the kinda convos girls have & then their gfs go "OF COZ, YOU`RE PRETTIER!" that kinda crap. sheesh, i hope you`ll achieve enlightenment from God & realise that beauty isn`t EVERYTHING & He can take it away from you anytime, faster than u can say 'beauty'.

Okaye i feel better already. & umm, Dear God, it`s me Fit, please have mercy on me & forgive me for I have sinned & disparaged one of Your creations but I just couldn`t help it coz I`ve kept mum about this for some time already & I really don`t understand what`s the problem with some people. & may You grant me the strength & endurance to ignore these really funny people coz they judge me like they`ve known me for soooo long when truth is, i dun even know them, so most of the time i just go, "HELLO, LIKE DO U EVEN KNOW ME?" & i really have no idea why they`re so inquisitive when truth is again, i couldn`t care less about their lives.

now i know that MISS I-THINK-I`M-HOT-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH will go "EWW, FIT IS ACTING SO PIOUS" . yeah i so can see that happening but heck, i dun care. she`s predictable. okaye i shan`t say anymore. let`s be happy people. bye bye :D

& I need to start bouncing on my boy`s bed. coz apparently, 837439274832 missed calls & he`s still isn`t awake. & so much for wanting to go for Friday prayers!! -rolls eyes & jumps jumps jumps

AMIRHADIIIIIII!!!!

ATPB, BDB

AFIQ TERBAKAR PANGGIL BOMBA, BOMBA DATANG BERLUMBA-LUMBA.

HAHA. that burnt buddy of mine is posted to Sispec for his post-BMT training. it seems like just yesterday when he told me he didn`t have to be in camp for 2 weeks. now he`s gonna be in on Monday. & bummer of all things that bum, HAHA, he`s gonna be in Sispec for 6 darn aggravatingly annoying months & booking out on Saturdays only to book in on Sundays.

& that only means LESSER, or maybe, NO insane MSN chats :( & no flooding of his tagboard, simply coz he`s not there to reply. 6 months. that`s like half a year. no, it`s not like. it IS half a year. & like if i get accepted into NIE this July & move to my grandparent`s place in Jurong, like that`s gonna make ANY difference, just coz Pasir Laba Camp is in Jurong as well. BUMMER. & i detest thinking what would happen if he has to go to Brunei for training. wahlauuuuuuuu....he`s so gonna be AFIQ TERBAKAR PANGGIL BOMBA, BOMBA DATANG BERLUMBA-LUMBA. haha.

ohmy. i`m soooo silly. i`m actually tearing. wth, Fit. I guess it`s only natural to be upset in the beginning. Afiq`s like a great buddy to me, minus all that crappy chats, he`s been there for me. & to think that we`ve known each other for less than a year. being mentally there for each other, being each other`s pillar of strength, through all the ups & downs, rise & falls, i guess it`s all part of this special bond & buddy-ship, which gets pretty inscrutable sometimes, that we`ve created. & nothing can sunder it (: i`m grateful to The Almighty that He`s granted me such a wondrous person.

there`s always handphones for communication. & afiq, next year, we`ll go get that iphone together k. God willing. HAHA. okaaaaaye, whatever it is, have faith in yourself, bend till you break, push yourself to the limits, you`ll be just fine. it`s all in the mind. & you`ll be in my prayers as always. i can`t say this any lesser, but TAKE CARE! (: & how could I forget this of all things? "AFIQ TERBAKAR PANGGIL BOMBA, BOMBA DATANG BERLUMBA-LUMBA" . . .

(((((((:

Fiqtastic says (11:11 AM):
i'll be away from this msn for a loong loong time....theres aways hp

Fiqtastic says (11:12 AM):
although its irritatingly much more difficult to communicate through it.
better keep in touch you know,dont like,after 6 months,you'll be like,afiq?whose afiq?

- spunk says (11:13 AM):
...

Fiqtastic says (11:13 AM):
if thats the case,i'm so gonna cut your hair

- spunk says (11:13 AM):

hahaha

Fiqtastic says (11:13 AM):
hehh

- spunk says (11:13 AM):
when you go, would you have the guts to say, "i don`t know who afiq is"

the last part was just so, HAHA. & i know nobody can fathom what i meant coz it`s just a Fiq-Fit moment. but it means SOMETHING. really. HAHA.

:DDDDD

adore you & want you so

yay. the smell of drizzle is so therapeutic & somehow, i feel connected to nature. Right now, i only yearn to be in my favourite boy`s embrace & kiss in the rain without having a single care in the world. mmhmm (: sounds good already.

I'm staring at the glass in front of me,

is it half empty of our wins

or have i ruined all you've given me?

I know I've been selfish,

I know I've been foolish,

but look through that

and you will see, I'll do better, I know,

Baby, I can do better.

- Secondhand Serenade

you know what? i don`t quite care anymore. To hell with my fear of commitment. I know I`ll vanquish that. I`m willing to. It`s all in the mind. Against all odds, i`m gonna do it.

I`m gonna be the best he`s ever had, the only one he`s loved with all his heart & soul, the one he`s gonna cry for, the one he`s gonna need, the one he`s never gonna turn his back on, the one he`s gonna love with utmost devotion & sincerity, the one he`ll love endlessly.

It`ll take time coz I`ve always believed that a relationship has gotta be better than the previous one coz you learn from experiences & make an effort to change. if it`s not better, then don`t be involved. coz it`s just a waste of time. & that`s probably why i haven`t settled down just yet. & i like having no strings attached.

bye bye :DDD

& the heat coming from this beat

Afiq: what if passerby is a hot,cute, hunky chinese-malay dude?

he`s the only one who thinks of such stuff -.- AFIQ TERBAKAR PANGGIL BOMBA. BOMBA DATANG BERLUMBA-LUMBA. hahahahahahahha.

don`t let it come undone

Naked. That`s the exact word to describe my new blog. HAHA. Blogger is so screwed. I couldn`t access my blog & some of my friends` as well. & when I finally could, my entries were like totally all over the place.

sigh. but as much as I wanna move to LJ, i don`t really want to. HAHA.

nvmmmmmmm. anyway, HELLO bedbugs (: u better function.