because i did not document this pregnancy at all (oops!), i'll start from the beginning. it was last august (2013) that i started begging lance for another baby. i don't know what it is, but as soon as my current baby starts acting too old (sam was 10 months at the time), i start getting baby hungry. {*note to self, when gus is 10 months old, find another means of fulfilling your baby hunger, you cannot handle four kids four and under! ;)} well lance was not at all ready, so naturally i continued to beg until he finally gave in. haha just kidding. i mean i did ask for quite a while, but finally decided i wasn't getting anywhere so i stopped for a month or two. then one evening in late november we were getting ready for bed and out of the blue lance said, "i think i'm ready for another kid." wtf?!?
i had this "feeling" that it was going to take me a while to get pregnant this time around. i'm not sure why exactly, but ever since my appendicitis i just thought it would make it harder. there really isn't any scientific evidence to back that, so i don't know why i was so worried, but i was. we started trying in early december and i found out christmas eve that i was pregnant! what an amazing christmas present, right?! i went to smith's to buy a test, peed on it right then and there in the smith's bathroom and about died of shock when it came up positive. the second line was very faint (so much so that lance didn't believe it was actually a positive test at first) but for me - a serial pregnancy test taker the month after we've tried - there was no mistaking it, i was definitely pregnant! so much for my theory it was going to take a while. ;)
this pregnancy was very different from my previous two. different enough that i was pretty sure it had to be a girl. i was exhausted from day one. that part wasn't really different, i've always been pretty tired that first trimester. i was much more tired this time though, which i think i can thank my two crazy toddlers for. finn and sam are both nuts - on the go from sun up til sun down. needless to say, i hit the sack hard at the end of each day and didn't miss nap time one single day during those first couple months. i was also pretty nauseated until about 16 weeks. that was definitely a new experience, because i was never nauseous with finn or sam.
my first pre-natal appointment was february 11th. that first appointment is always so exciting, yet so nerve-wracking! i'm pretty sure i have a
we announced on facebook and instagram a couple days later. the one and only jessica kettle took some darling pictures of the boys holding the ultrasound pictures, and because it was right around valentines i posted the picture with the caption: "roses are red, violets are blue, cupid's been busy - another baby is due! baby powell #3 due to arrive 9.3.14." most people thought we were crazy, which lets be honest, we probably are, but everyone seemed so excited for us. :)
i woke up march 2nd (i think?) and couldn't handle the anticipation of not definitely knowing the gender any longer. i was 12 weeks 5 days, which was two days farther along than i was when i found out sam was a boy, so i made an appointment at fetal studio. i had to lie about the date of my last period, but once again, clear as day the technician could see that it was, indeed, another little boy brewing inside. seeing him once again, hearing his heartbeat and seeing that he was healthy and growing strong, i left the appointment just relieved and grateful for the experience of growing a human inside me. what an amazing thing that is!
the rest of the pregnancy proved to be quite exhausting. i never really got my energy back the second trimester like i did with the other two. i think most of the reason was because we were building a house. never build a house while pregnant! so exhausting and stressful. looking back on it all i am just grateful we survived the year. ;) the baby was always healthy and growing right on track, which is really all that matters.
we went back to fetal studio at 30 weeks to do a 3D ultrasound. baby gus was breech, just like his big brother sam was at his 30 week u/s, so we didn't get a ton of great photos of his face. we got just enough to see that he was pretty dang cute, looked similar to finn and had some chubby cheeks. :) i was lucky enough to have an ultrasound at my first four dr appointments, plus the ones we paid for at fetal studio. it is always so much fun to actually see the baby, so i was pretty grateful for that.
the rest of the pregnancy was pretty typical, up until my appointment on august 5th. that is the day dr barton did my strep-b test, and while he was up there he checked to see if the baby's head was down. sure enough, it wasn't. he did an ultrasound, and the baby's head was lodged below my right rib-cage, where it had been pretty much the entire pregnancy. i was 36 weeks, so dr barton said at my next appointment he would try and flip him. if he didn't turn, we would schedule a c-section. i also had crazy itchy feet, which can be a sign of a liver-disease that is pretty scary for the baby. the only symptom is itchy feet, and i had been up all night for two nights scratching them. finally it got so bad i just put socks on. anyway, the only way to determine if i had the liver disease was to do a blood test. that was definitely the worst pre-natal appointment i've ever had and i left pretty hysterical!
i was in a little bit of a depression that whole entire week. how would i ever survive a c-section? not to mention, giving birth is my favorite part of the whole 9 months. i am one of those crazy people who actually looks forward to labor and delivery! i would be so sad if i didn't get to experience that. i mean of course, ultimately, all i cared about was a healthy baby, and it's not like i'd ever do anything (like refuse a c-section) for my own selfish desires. but i'd be lying if i said the thought of a c-section didn't weigh heavy on my mind. throughout that week, friends and family offered tips and advice on how to get the baby to flip on his own, and some assured me that if i did end up having to have a c-section, it wouldn't be the end of the world. i was grateful for the love and support offered by so many, and began to feel hopeful that everything would work out in the end.
it's interesting, because my whole entire pregnancy i had a feeling i would have a c-section. clear back in may my mom even told her boss that there was a possibility she would have to take some time off work at the end of august/beginning of september to help me. so i was just sure that when i went to my appointment on august 13, the baby wouldn't flip and we would be scheduling a c-section for sometime the following week. well, i almost cried tears of joy when dr. barton went to check me and told me that the baby was HEAD DOWN!!! what in the world?! i had absolutely no idea when it happened, because i never felt any big movements. but i was over the moon with joy - my dreams of experiencing child birth for the 3rd time seemed like a reality! in addition, my bloodwork came back normal, so that liver disease we were worried about was no longer a concern. i left that appointment elated, and quickly got to work nesting and making all the necessary preparations to welcome this little boy into our home.
the next few weeks seemed to last forever, as the end of pregnancy always does. those final weeks of pregnancy are always pretty miserable. you can't eat because there is no room in your tummy for food. up at least 3 times a night to pee. can't sleep because you can't get comfortable. this time around my feet were in serious pain - cracking and bleeding because who knows why?? luckily the month of august was unusually cool and rainy, which is like a god-send for a pregnant girl. man, those summer months sometimes feel unbearable due to the heat. anyway, i distracted myself by staying busy decorating the house, buying clothes and blankets and things for the baby, going out with friends, online shopping, chasing my boys around etc etc. none of my doctor's appointments were very exciting. in fact, they were sort of frustrating because although the baby was still head down (thank goodness!) he was still super high up and my cervix wasn't doing much.
i had the option of scheduling an induction as early as 39 weeks, but lance and i decided not to. as long and unbearable as that last week of pregnancy seems, there was just something so magical and exciting about finn picking his own birthday. as much as i love that sam's birthday is 10.11.12, and as annoying as it is waiting around every day, hoping that my water breaks or that i'll all the sudden start having contractions, i still think i prefer the un-planned route. at my 39 week appointment, we scheduled an induction for september 12 - by that point i would be 41 weeks and 1 day and i definitely didn't want to be pregnant for any longer than that!
august ended and september began. that first week of september was a busy one (another reason i didn't schedule the induction for that week). finn had his first day of preschool on september 2nd, and i definitely didn't want to miss that. he had his first soccer game september 6th, and i definitely didn't want to miss that either! i won't lie though, i sort of got to the point that i didn't care if i missed either, i just wanted this baby out of my belly! ;) looking back though, i'm grateful for the timing of everything and feel that it all happened when it was supposed to. dropping my biggest baby off for his first day of preschool was something i have always looked forward to, and i'm so glad i didn't have to miss it. and finn's first soccer game, well that is a story for a post of its own, but lets just say it's something i'll never forget so i'm glad i didn't have to miss that either. :)
my final appointment was friday, september 5th at 2:45. lance was able to come to that appointment with me, which was nice. i had a dream the night before that the baby had flipped again and was breech. i was relieved to hear that he was still head down and my cervix had made some progress. i had only been 1 cm dilated for 2 weeks, but at that appointment i was at a 2 and 75% effaced. dr. barton stripped my membranes, hoping it would get things going, but i wasn't going to hold my breath because he did it with both my other boys and it didn't induce labor with either.
later that night i went to the bathroom and it seemed that my mucous plug might be coming out. i still wasn't going to get my hopes up, because that happened with finn and he didn't come for another two weeks. but at least something was happening, so that made me happy. i think ever since getting induced with sam, i have an aversion to induction. i just didn't enjoy being hooked up to an IV all day, being in labor for what seemed like forever (even though it wasn't that long, 8 hours from start to finish), leaking all day after the doctor broke my water. i just really didn't want to be induced this time. so i was grateful my body was doing some of the work.
i woke up that night (early saturday morning, technically) with contractions! hallefreakinlujah!!!!! i started timing them and they were close together (5 minutes apart, then 3 minutes apart) and consistent. after about 2 hours, i got out of bed and started to pack my hospital bags and get ready. lance woke up and asked what i was doing, and when i told him i might be in labor he basically just rolled over and went back to bed. hahaha! well unsurprisingly, the contractions completely STOPPED as soon as i was all ready to go. i've heard that is common so i wasn't shocked, but a little disappointed. finn's soccer game was at 10 that morning, so i was happy i'd be able to go to that. i text jessica and asked if she had a wedding that day, since i could potentially be in labor. she did, and told me to keep the baby in til late that night. haha as if i have any control, right? ;)
finn's soccer game was hysterical, and i was so glad i didn't miss it. afterward we ran some errands, and i probably had a contraction every hour. one every hour! lol it didn't seem promising that anything was going to happen. i started to feel flu-like, so we came home and i just laid in bed and slept the whole day while lance and my mom took care of finn and sam. nothing more was happening, just my hourly contraction, so i quickly lost hope of having the baby that day.
i woke up early sunday morning - around midnight - to painful contractions. they were very inconsistent though, so i was sure i wasn't in active labor. they got progressively more painful (i had to go lay on the rug in the great room because my bed made them worse) so i started timing them, but they were so sporadic. 20 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, then 5 minutes. i didn't want to go to the hospital and have them send me away for only being 3 cm dilated, so i just waited it out. with every contraction i had the urge to pee, so i spent a lot of time going to the bathroom. i also got pretty nauseous so i got a bowl from the cupboard in case i actually threw up. the contractions stayed completely sporadic, there was never any rhythmic timing to them but they got so painful (and were lasting two minutes when they did come) so i decided it was time to go to the hospital. we woke my mom up and had her come sleep in my room so that she'd hear the boys when they woke up, and we left for the hospital (red bowl still in hand ;)) at 3:30 am.
on the way there, i felt very at peace and knew that we would be having a baby that day. it crossed my mind that dr. barton probably would not be delivering this one (since it was a sunday morning and he wasn't on call) and that made me really sad. he came in to deliver both my other boys - finn on a sunday evening, and sam on a thursday night - and it meant the world to me that he came in after hours. but i'd never expect him to on a sunday morning. anyway, i continued having contractions on the drive to the hospital, which was good. like i said, i didn't want to get there and have them send me home because i "wasn't in labor." lance dropped me off at the entrance, and while i was waiting for him to park, i had two super close together and so painful that i had to bend over. i was feeling them in my lower right abdomen mostly, and it just felt like my insides were being twisted into a knot. seriously the most pain i've ever experienced!
the nurse checked us in, but not until i answered a million ridiculous questions. ;) just kidding. it did seem to take forever though, especially considering i had pre-registered. they got me set up in a triage room, and after getting my gown on, another nurse came in to put the fetal monitors on and ask me another 30 minutes worth of questions. all questions i had answered before. all seemingly unimportant considering how much pain i was in. i'll admit that i never let on just how much pain i was in - i never screamed, i never moaned, i didn't cry. i just sat there and silently wished and prayed for it to pass. when she asked about my contractions, i told her that they were very sporadic but pretty painful. i admitted that i was probably just a big baby, but i couldn't take the pain anymore so that was why we came to the hospital. well finally (seriously, 30 minutes later) she checked my cervix, and after having her hand up there for what seemed like 5 minutes, she said, "well you're definitely not a baby, you're dilated to a 9." what the crap?! holy freaking hell. are you serious?!? i immediately started crying. tears of relief (that my pain was substantiated and validated - i'm not a baby after all!), tears of pain (get me a freaking epidural asap), tears of fear (is it too late to get an epidural and have it take effect?). at this point there were a few nurses in there, and one of them said, "why are you crying? are these happy tears?" ummmm pretty sure you shouldn't say something like that to a woman in labor. NO these were not happy tears. okay maybe a little, because it meant i'd meet my baby soon, but all i said to her in response was "i just want an epidural, is it too late??" lol! they assured me it wasn't and told me they'd get the anesthesiologist in there asap. in the meantime, i had lance call jessica to let her know that i was probably going to have this baby any minute. i felt bad for not keeping her in the loop earlier on, and told him to let her know it was okay if she couldn't come. she's the best though and headed to the hospital asap.
a couple minutes later a few more nurses joined us, and one came in pushing a cart with a computer. they said they were going to do a quick ultrasound, because the baby seemed to be breech. no no silly nurses, this baby is head down. my doctor checked one and a half days ago. there's no way he flipped, i would have felt it. all these thoughts were going through my head and i was sure the nurse who checked my cervix was just incompetent. ;) sure enough, the baby had flipped and was transverse breech (aka sideways). i immediately asked, "so what does that mean?" to which she replied, "you have to have a c-section." so there you have it. that feeling i had had my entire pregnancy, confirmed. i asked if there was a way to try and flip the baby. i mean hello, my cervix was wide open, couldn't the doctor just stick his hand up there and turn him? the nurse said we could ask the doctor, but that he'd most likely say no. the on-call doctor, dr froerer, came in shortly after, and confirmed what the nurse said - it was too dangerous to try and flip the baby now. had i been 3 cm dilated, maybe, but not at 9. they also told me i was lucky i came in when i did, and that my water didn't break, otherwise it could have been really dangerous (as in limbs, like his arms or legs hanging out of my vajayjay). i immediately started to beat myself up for not coming in sooner. what was i thinking? why did it take me so long to go in? oh yeah, the fact that my stupid contractions were so irregular. duh.
amidst all the chaos, i heard one of the nurses say that dr barton was on his way in, and once i heard that, a calm peaceful feeling came over me and i knew everything was going to be okay. it was very immediate, and very powerful. from that point forward, i never looked back. i wasn't even scared, really. i reminded myself that the spirit had been preparing me for this from the beginning. i could do this. i was in good hands. i was going to be just fine.
when dr barton arrived, he said, "this baby is naughty, his head was down the other day." yes my thoughts exactly, naughty naughty baby! ;) the anesthesiologist arrived shortly after, and started prepping for my spinal block. i had always heard they aren't as bad as an epidural, although i don't know if i'd agree! it seemed to take forever, and i was still experiencing those horrible contractions. contractions that meant nothing anymore since the baby wasn't coming out that way! ;)
lance suited up, i put a cap on and off we rolled to the operating room. once we found out i would be having a c-section, lance called jessica to tell her not to come (since the lame anesthesiologist wouldn't let her in the OR :(). she came anyway, and snapped a shot of us just as we were heading into the OR.
the operating room was smaller than i expected it to be and extremely bright. immediately the doctors and nurses got to work, prepping for the surgery. the anesthesiologist was still administering my spinal block, commentating with each step what i should be feeling. to be honest, i was a bit freaked out by it. an epidural seemed so much faster. as soon as the spinal block was ready and i couldn't feel the sharp pricks on my abdomen, they began the surgery.
now, i had always heard that c-sections are quick and seemingly effortless. they cut you open, remove all your insides (lol) take out the baby and voila! that was not the case. they cut me open, removed my insides, then spent what felt like an eternity in a wrestling match with my baby. i am dead freaking serious. and i had always just assumed that i wouldn't be able to feel anything. oh no. no no no no. i could feel it. it wasn't pain, but i could feel lots of pressure. lots of tugging and pulling. it was not pleasant. at one point i said, "this sort of hurts" to which dr barton responded with, "sorry, we're trying to get him out but he just doesn't want to come." oh great. it was a little frightening listening to the doctors struggle. they took turns, trying to get their hands in a position to grab the baby's head/neck or bum, but neither could seem to do it. as i stated before, i was very calm throughout this whole process, and feel that dr barton was definitely there for a reason. i think i would have been freaking out if some doctor i had never met before was performing this surgery.
finally, 25 minutes later, they pried that little dude from my belly. at this point lance was no where to be seen. i have no recollection of him leaving, but one of the nurses informed me that he nearly passed out and had to step into the hall. lovely! in there all alone. they whisked little gus away - i didn't even get to see him. that was definitely the hardest part of having a c-section. there is nothing i love more than pushing that last push, and watching the baby come out, screaming bloody murder in all their glory and perfection. i really missed that this time. it also took them forever to check him out and make sure he was healthy and strong. his apgar score was a 2 when he first came out, but within 5 minutes was a 9. i listened to him scream for about 20 minutes before they finally brought him to me, all bundled up, as perfect as could be. as sad as it was that i didn't get to see him right away, meeting him for the first time lived up to every expectation and prior experience i have had. i bawled like a baby as i held that beautiful boy in my arms for the first time. august keller powell. born 9.7.14 at 5:25 am. 7 lbs 10 oz, 21.5 inches long.
complete perfection.
my time spent in the hospital following the birth was just as euphoric as it was with my other kids. in my opinion, a brand new baby is heaven on earth, 100%. it's exhausting, yes. it can be overwhelming, yes. but i have never felt more at peace, or felt the spirit stronger than i have while holding a baby fresh from heaven. in those moments, my testimony of the plan of salvation is reaffirmed a hundred fold. i seriously don't know how anyone could doubt the existence of god after experiencing childbirth, no matter what way the baby comes out! ;)
later that morning my mom brought the boys to meet their new baby brother. finn was beyond words sweet with gus - the best big brother. he was so gentle and fascinated with him. "wook, he's got toes! oh wook mom, he's got a belly!" he could have held him forever, and it just melted me into a puddle. i don't think sam even realized there was a new baby that first visit - he was too preoccupied with all the buttons in the room. ;) he warmed up with each visit though.
jessica came back later in the day to snap some beautiful shots of our precious little boy. i had my mom bring finn and sam back as well, so we could get some pictures of our new little family all together (too bad dogs aren't allowed in hospitals, eh? ;)).
all of the nurses and everyone that came to visit were surprised at how well i was doing. i was up and walking within a couple hours, and my pain was very manageable (thanks to pain meds, haha). i was pleasantly surprised to discover that, for me, recovering from a c-section wasn't nearly as bad as many had warned me it would be. my incision looked pretty gnarly at first, but all the nurses told me it was an amazing incision. i never would have used that word haha but three months later, i can attest that it is pretty amazing. even my doctor was amazed by it when i went back for my 6 week check-up. he said i heal incredibly well.
although it was a pretty crazy labor and delivery, and i didn't get to experience the birth the way i love, i look back on this whole experience with very fond memories. the day after gus was born, dr barton told me that the umbilical cord had two knots in it, which is why he never dropped all the way. he said the baby never would have had the length he would need to descend through the birth canal. so there you have it - the reason i was being prepared for a c-section from the beginning. :)
i left the hospital wednesday evening. i could have stayed till thursday, but i was a tad anxious to get home to my other babies. i will admit it was somewhat terrifying coming home, not knowing what to expect as far as recovery, or how we'd all adjust to this newest little member of our family, but thanks to my mom and lance, none of it was as bad as i had prepared myself for. i tend to be one of those people who prepares for the worst, which can sometimes be a bad thing i think, but in these sorts of instances i think it works out in my favor. bringing babies home from the hospital for the first time, whether it was my first, second, or third, has never been as bad as i thought it would be. in fact, i have been amazed each time at how natural the adjustment is.
gus is now three months old and has been the perfect addition to our family. he is the sweetest little baby, and has all of us wrapped around his tiny finger. these past three months have definitely been crazy, but my heart has never felt so full. i could never put into words the love i have for these boys or how grateful i am to be their mom, so i'll just say, it really is the best job in the world, and i thank my heavenly father every day for the gift and opportunity of being a mom.
