last day in melbourne

as with most last days anywhere, saturday was a lazy day. for the first time since i had been down melbourne, danny didnt have work so we went down to little bourke street a.k.a melbournes 'chinatown' and had yum cha (dim sum) at a place called dragonboat restaurant.

how we chose the place? we found a place that looked packed, we figured it was either cheap or good or both with a high turn over of food so freshness.. or atleast hot food is almost gauranteed. it was alright, not nearly as good as the yum cha back here in sydney, we found that there was NO VARIETY, just the same old food circulating then re-circulating, we sat until we got tired of waiting for new things to come out and left.

we did a bit of exploration of melbourne city (again... for me anyway) as danny had not had any time to do so in the full week he was down there. i took him down the streets i liked and the places i had enjoyed. however, on the way back from the airport back here in sydney, i realised that i forgot to take him to get some belgian crepes like i had intended.

we were both pretty much beat so we pretty much just came back and relaxed over a slice of chocolate cake that was so rich and hard it felt like we were eating a whole block of chocolate on its own and some coffee on the hotel balcony.

why were we so tired? well, friday night after danny finished work at about 11.30pm (this was an 'early night' for him mind you), we decided to go exploring.

and bluddy oath it was tiring. after walking aimlessly up some streets and around some blocks we settled amongst ourselves that we did not want to go clubbing. after walking by some really shonky looking people and groups we decided to leg it all the way to lygone st.

lygone st was exactly how i remembered it, not that great although people down here seem to keep recommending it. its sort of like sydney's leichardt except about 8 times more crap. so yeah we legged it all the way there which took about 1/2 hr on foot probably more, i lost track of the time in my struggle because it seemed like it was all uphill trekking. we even went pass old melbourne gaol and that was really freaky, i found myself praying as the street was really really really quiet and the gaol had funky scarey lights on.

i was so happy when we finally got to lygone st only to be dissappointed once again.

most of the places were cafe bars which is an odd combo, you see funky bars serving coffee. so anyway, i ordered a hot chocolate and some dips, the dips never came, so i cancelled and decided to just go back because we were both exhausted.

we caught cab back because my legs threatened to buckle with every step i took. the cab ride was like, 5 minutes MAX so we were kicking ourselves for not catching a cab to begin with! although we eventually had our doubts about the taxi driver. our taxi driver was a jerk, he was on the phone the whole time speaking indian so we had no idea what he was yelling about but he was rather dangerous because he wasn't focussing on his driving at all... we did NOT tip him.

so that was the excitement of friday night and saturday.

i got back totally exhausted but it was a good trip. ill miss that place.

days 2 and 3 - melbourne

so its day 3 down here in melbourne and im homebound tomorrow, although i wouldn't mind a longer stay here, i dont think my legs will forgive me if i do... life sure is different when you're legging it everywhere! but i am thankful for a decent transport system.

yes i caught the TRAM for the first time ever in my whole life today, around $6.00 buys you an all day metcard which you can use for all modes of transport throughout the day. its great! in comparison to the sky high prices for the use of public transport back in sydney. public transport is pretty efficient down here too, trams seem to come by every 5 minutes so you can get to where you want to go pretty quickly.

today i took the tram to bridge rd, famous for its factory outlets. as my shopping manual devised by my lovely cousin jess pointed out, "if you're expecting fantastic bargains...be deceived", it wasnt that great, prices were normal, the only thing i got that was worth buying was my blue meshy coin purse which i got at quick brown fox for $5! i am loving quick brown fox for their unique items and quirkiness, from recollection they have only two stores in sydney and last time i checked it wasnt as good.

yesterday i think i did about five full rounds of melbourne city... on foot!this included the plentiful alley ways around here as well as all the shopping plazas, complex you name it i was probably there... in a nutshell i was walking nearly non-stop from about 9am -past 9pm and then again later on in the night.

i was stalked yesterday and nearly rolled today... so typically becki aye?! and people tell me im paranoid for nothing, danny congratulated me today for "doing the smart thing" both times, i said "thanks, comes with experience". yesterday i made my get away from the dude with a can of johnny walker?jim beam? (insert whatever alcohol it is that comes in a black can) by pretty much running into the cotton-on store on bourke st where i hid out for about an hour as he kept lingering outside peering in and waiting. that costed me! i found myself buying stuff i would not normally have bought not only for myself but for danny and my brother too!

and then today i was almost rolled whilst waiting for danny to finish work outside mac, i swear there arent many shoddy looking people down here and the three that i have seen, happened to be the ones i attracted the attention of!

so anyway we visited crown casino last night, as if legging it around the city so many times yesterday wasnt enough, we walked i think i would say the equivalent of going to the rocks from chinatown. it was alright, i was really too tired to notice so i spent most of the time sitting amongst the geriatrics and the pokies.

all in all im really liking this place ...its narrow alleyways filled with cafes and quaint boutiques reminds me of europe, the whole city is rather elegant, good transport system, cool shops, very relaxed.

im back... but in melbourne city!

its 9.14pm and i just got back from dinner at YAK BAR here in melbourne located on the corner of flinders lane, not far from the Westin Hotel where i will be spending the rest of my week. im sitting here in dannys melbourne office waiting for him to finish off his work so i can go back and get some sleep. i have a big day planned for myself tomorrow according to the itenerary i made up last night.

...this morning started off slowly as i arrived at sydney domestic airport earlier than scheduled ... so early that the chick at the check-in had a bit of a giggle when she told me my boarding time, so i was eager.... so what? ishK.

so after visiting the ladies room over like ten times from downing so much water to kill time i finally decide to head inside the gates. not too much drama there but for the fact that the guy made me take off my belt to walk through the detector and but for the fact that i happened to be "randomly selected" (AGAIN!) for explosives testing. and then i was off and onto my plane.

on the plane i sat next to what seems like the perfect family with good looking parents aswell as beautiful kids. the wife looked a mixture of japanese and american, she was tall and slender and graceful and had such beautiful features and the husband, who i figured was a doctor seemed like such a grounded family oriented fella. i sat next to the two year old, charlotte who had the most amazing blue eyes and curly hair of a colour that only mixed kids could have and who took to me quite well. she showed me her "whistle cup", and at first i thought it was just like any other... until she started drinking from it.. it seriously whistled everytime she drank from it! and boy could this one drink, but it was alright because she kept me distracted...

i was nervous on the plane, perhaps i had watched one too many 'air crash investigations' but i found myself by the window seat counting the rows of rivetts that were on the wing...i almost hyperventilated when i saw that there was a whole patch... with no rivetts!

despite the fact that i had to remind the OLD airplane hostess lady that i too.. like everybody else that she served lunch to on the plane.. wanted lunch...
...and despite the fact that upon the seatbelt sign switching off on landing my dash to get off the plane was intentionally stopped by this big fat assed bitch, the flight was alright.

i wait at the carousel, pick up my bag and bid farewell to the american family and little charlotte. i make my way over to the the star shuttle bus counter to book my travel to the hotel, i try to talk to the chick at the counter who seemed more pre-occupied with the conversation she was having on her phone and inevitably get my ticket.

she tells me to go stand with the 'old people over there' ... so i obey. i befriend this couple and somehow i end up leading them the way to the shuttle bus and giving them my map of melbourne. wow here for like 1/2 an hr and already a tour guide! this was because the girl gave 'great instructions' consisting of "go over there somewhere under the flags in the carpark somewhere around there there might be a bus with a star on it...." (wave hand haphazardly around, 'anywhere').

back to the couple, i had a wonderful chat with them on the bus, turns out that they were from the U.K doing a worldwide tour, it was quite inspiring and it was so lovely that they still had each other. the lady told me i was brave cos i caught the plane and stuff on my own... i am led to beleive that she thinks im 14.

so i get to the hotel and i am quite taken aback, it is rather breathtaking, i literally throw down my luggage and im off to explore melbourne city!

the boutique shops down here are really cool and i am amazed (as is danny) to have already found quite a few bargains. i was meant to walk up to chinatown this afternoon, but somehow, i got distracted along the way and never made it there. so maybe tomorrow ill try again... my itenerary is re-arranged and im thinking i wont have time to do all the things i wanted to do, i regret not coming up on monday instead.

so after dinner we did a tour down to southgate and i realise that melbourne city is quite picturesque with the yarra river as backdrop it seems a combination of old world glamour mixed with funky modern architecture.

after day 1, im thinkin i quite like it here. lets see what views tomorrow will bring...

until then

goodnight.

MANO: day 7 another lazy day

Today is our last day in Ho Chi Minh city.

After our hotel breakfast, we head to the War remants Museum.
Very interesting displays, showing life before, during and after the war.
Photos of war time, effects of warfare that... kind of thing.
I wont go into gruesome detail... but there are things like babies in jars.

Lunch is at a local noodlehouse.
Duck noodle soup... mMmM mMm.
Fresh noodles, made inhouse, tasty duck. Yum.

We spot a little dog, bit bigger than a chuihuahua tied down by a brick.
It was for sale, no not as food, but as a pet. Haha.

Tonight, we are going to dinner aboard a river cruise.
Tomorrow we fly to Bangkok.
Tomorrow we begin more shopping !.

I am going to miss Vietnam, definately worth visiting at least once in a lifetime.
Although, i must say... local knowledge is a must.
Not much is advertised here, most taxi drivers dont even know where things are.
You need the local knowledge to show you the best restaurants, clubs, shops etc.
No guide will ever be equal.

Im going to miss the traffic, which never ceases to amaze me.

Haha, soon enough i might even miss the povo people bugging me to buy lottery tickets.
The beggers who stalk me.
The street kids who beg for money.
The annoying shop keepers who pester to buy their goods.
The taxi drivers who dont know where they are going.
The fake taxis whom try to rip you off.
The yummy food & teh wet towels !.
The beauty salons with sl*tty staff (whom i wanted to try, but didnt).
The people who comment on me having fortunate Buddha ears.
The smell, heat and humidity.
And also the awesome exchange rate.

See you in Thailand !

MANO: day 6 lazy day

After waking up an hour later than usual, we have breakfast.
We get changed, ready to head out for more shopping, sightseeing... whatever.
We fall asleep on the bed for a valuable amount of time.
Lazy and unmotivated, knowing there is not much more to do in this city, we force ourselves to move.

We get to the war museum to find it is closed during lunch hours. We decide to go shopping.
We decide to have lunch in the shopping complex's Monaco bistro. It's western kinda food.
Needing a break from pure vietnamese food, we ate canadian fries, german sausage & dac biet (special) pizza.
Again with nothing to buy, we decide to leave.
Walking towards the exit in the corner of my eye i see two security guards closing in. i clench my butt cheeks
Reffering to me as uncle, they pester me to enjoy a massage. WTF ?
We exit the complex and are barraged by dirty, smelly beggers.
We wave down a taxi and wait for it to pull up. A old man decides he wants to jump into the same one.
Hell no this aint so !. Cat notices the old geezer and bitchly screams HHEEYY ! F*CK OFF !
This was so funny even the local bystanders laughed.

Hotel bound in a taxi, we spot something strange. An open pair of legs in the air, straddling a motorcyclist ? Sex on wheels ?
On closer inspection, they were manquin legs. The guy sped off without me taking a photo.
There are funny billboards here, personified hearts with sleazy eyes, personified condoms, funny shit.

Back to the comfort of our hotel room for a few more hours.

Dinner is at another open courtyard restaurant.
This one, looking better than the other.
We are deterred to find Eels and frogs in a seperate tank amongst the other live fish and prawns available. No thank you !
The food is good, with deep fried calamari, watercrest salad, giant garlic prawns, more suckling pig.
I ordered duck eggs, but was reminded of possible bird flu, so they were left uneaten.

Next up is a comedian club, totally useless to me cause of the language barrier. Eye opening nonetheless.

MANO: day 5 can i pack you into my suitcase

So after this morning's lovely shower, i manafge to rip my towel :S

Hotel breakfast background music are chessy pop christmas carols and new year wishes.

We visit the temple where Cat's grandfather's ashes reside.
Quite an interesting place, especially with the class segregation among the dead.
In Australian currency, its $60 for your average space, being stored on shelves with the masses of other urns.
$100 for a premium spot in a cabine, and if you're rich enough you can pre-buy cabinets for your family members in advance.

Out of the city, on the freeway we arrive to our next destination Sui TieN a amusement park.
Its quite corny ! but umm interesting i guess.
Big displays and that kind of thing. Asian equvilant of Wonderland.
We go go karting ! Bodgy karts. Probably 6hp. My arms dont fit inside the seatbelt restraints.
I feel bad as i rear end Cat's dad's wife, sending her head on ...... into a barrier.

Cat was sweating like ..... a b*tch in heat ? i named her Cat ... Catalogue sweat girl.
Dont ask for anexplanation because i dont know.

All the kids were perving at cat. Dep Qua ! pronounced as "DepPp wAhHhH ! " or in aussie "DamnnN bEAUTIFuLl !"

Lunch today is at a seafood restaurant. I asked to have my mud crab craving satisified. Only to find there is no mud crab.
Instead, its sea crabs in Tamarind sauce, along with ur usual dishes + eel soup (yumish).
The locals in our group i.e Cat's Dad's wife and the driver friend whom i call Uncle Thanh scrutinize the price of the meals we eat day in day out. Apparently we eat 1 month's premium salary in one lunch meal. Premium salary being 900,000 dong (Aud$90) a month.

More rest at the hotel before we hit, some kind of Latin/Spanish night club.
Like whoa. The entrance looks like your typical beer garden, but when you walk through a little wooden door.
Its like you skip the flight time, and enter Spain.
For me, although authentic and having good music, i didnt like the atmosphere.
Cat had a shirley temple which didnt really taste like one.

Side tracking a bit, I have established a great bond with Chu Thanh ( Uncle Thanh, the driver.)
I speak to him in English, and he responds Vietnamese.
I teach him Vulgar english and i learn Vietnamese.
Originally being a timid and patient driver, now he curses with W*nker !, D*ckhead !, F*ck, St*upid man !

Regarding the chicks... uh females here....
Of the 50,000 i see each day:
49,900 = fobby dont look at
60 = fobby, with potential maybe.
30 = yer, ok, i guess
7 = nice
3 = can i pack you into my suitcase . you hot sl*tty thing !

Back to bed for an early night.

MANO: day 4 bang bang

My Korjo (travel accessory brand) belt pouch has now ripped in both pockets.
What a piece of sH*t !!!.

While waiting for a taxi, a shoe shiner approaches me, pointing at my battered white lacoste shoes "no goot, no goot"
Even though i pondered if he could restore my shoes to their former glory, i ignored him as with all the other pesterers.
Shine your shoes ..Governor ?

Breakfast today is at the original Pho Pastuer. So pho, So good
We notice a man with hooks for hands selling books beside the shop. FreEkY !

Forward to our next destination... The Cu Chi Tunnels.
These tunnels were used during the war for the VC to gather US military intelligence.
A series of interconnecting tunnels 250km long, approx 2.5 m underground, hand dug under the cover of night.

It's approximately a 1hr drive from Saigon, out of the city into the rural outskirts.
Out here, it is very different from the city.
We play chicken with the motorbikes, buses and trucks.
The bigger vehicles have authority out there.

We arrive at the Cu Chi tunnels and i need to relieve myself.
The urinals are fragranced with moth balls ! needless to say, i held my breath.
The entry fee is 5,000dong (AUD $0.45) for locals and 70,000dong (AUD$6.40) for visitors. We all passed as locals... how i dont know.

The Cu Chi tunnels are an excellent experiece !!!.
Boobie traps, self made weapons, man holes, bunkers, tanks etc are showcased in their original form.
There are numerous displays of live ammunition.

Shooting range ! Here each bullet is 18,000dong (AUD $1.80) each. Available weapons are M1, AK47, M16, Colt 45, Machine guns.
Cat, myself and her father went ballastic, well maybe not Cat, upon shooting one bullet jumped and cried.
The noise was overwheleming. Ouch my ears.

I entered a tunnel (rendered to preserve for the future) and took a photo, which came out full of orbs !.
The tunnel isnt too bad at first, until it reduces in size.
i end up crawling on all fours. Relieved upon exit.
If a person is claustrophobic, they'd surely be in trouble.

Now back in Saigon, its time for lunch. A speciality restuarant where the staff break clay pots and catch the rice within.
Fish, of course is the main meal.
On the way back to the car, my knee/thigh buckles. :(

Now for dessert & coffee. The venue is a day club. The people are dressed trendy. The girls seem like lookers. Definately the higher quality type, then again the mood lighting helps their cause.
Dessert is delicous. ! Mint choc chip parfait. MmM.

We retreat back to the hotel and conk out.

Now, we are left alone without our driver (Chu Thanh) & Cat's dad, whom we have spent 90% of our time with so far.
Dinner is with Cat's mum and her friends ...... <>
We jump into a taxi, myself , cats mum and partner from oz, + a few locals.
We are taken to local food house. Can you imagine sickness ?
Cat and i are appauled and are hesitant to enter due to the conditions.
Knowing what conflict lies ahead, we sit crouched uncomfortably (also with my bunged leg).
The atmosphere is gross. Cat gets felt up by a toddler.
Its all ickyness. NOT MY STYLE. its G H E T T O ! P O V O !
After Cat pisses off her mum by being a brat (rightly so, but still frustrating from her mothers point of view) we leave.
We hit another shopping center, this time one based to attract foreigners in the entertainment district
We come across two Aussies from the gong ! We chatter while sifting through DVDs , $1.70 each.

We return to the hotel, call room service and eat, then sleep.

MANO: day 3 xic loOo

On the short walk to our first destination we were hassled by a Xic lo driver.
He pleaded for our business. 1 hr for 30000 dong, i.e AUD$3.00
He needed money for breakfast, i was thinking, he should have breakfast before he tows me around.
He doesnt take the rejection well, and follows us for another 200m, then tries once more with no luck.
As we get to our destination, the Presidental palace, another xic lo driver targets us.
This time, even smaller man, speaking some english, carrying a tour brochure.
So this tour brochure gets shoved in our faces as he tries to sell himself.
We tell him we are going into the palace and we might use him on exit.
He gets all happy and asks where i am from , and shows me a picture of the bridge climb in Sydney.

The palace itself was pretty cool. The tour guide asked if i was phillipino. BOO. :-(
Lots of pictures were taken, as the guide told us the how the place was bombed and taken over.
Their was a korean man taking a picture of the common indian myna bird in the garden, i guess they arent pests here.

On exit of the palace, the f*cking Xic lo driver spotted us and came running,
Cat fended him off as we jumped into a taxi.
Dont know which was worse, becuase this particular taxi was a shitbox ! old piece of sh*t!

On to Zen plaza, more upmarket department store shopping with nothing tickling my fancy.
We have sushi for lunch.
It was funny, we walk into the restaurant and get the worldwide japanese greeting, from Vietnamese workers.
Could be better than the stuff back home.
We were hungry so, we ordered alot. The other diners (non local) all gazed and stared as they nibbled.

The city really transforms. By day its a big hustle with locals buzzing left right centre and everywhere inbetween ! Majority of the shops are moblie phone stores, beauty parlours and photocopy facilities.
By night, these all seem to dissapear in darkness as the neon lights of restaurants and clubs shine through the smokey sky.

Dinner tonight was at Hai Lua, which translates to "Bogan".
I was impressed as we entered the open air courtyard restaurant.
Its a festive kinda atmosphere with all the lights, the buzz of the highway traffic beside the restaurant and all that.
There are 6 cooks manually roasting over horizontal half cut 44 gallon drums filled with hot charcoal.
On the menu was Vietnamese water crest salad, some sort of steamed Cod fish and a suckling piglet.
The food in Vietnam is great, but i find myself drinking so much to counteract the flavours of the food.
All was fine and dandy until i was given the piglets brain to eat.... uRgH i washed it down with a can of pepsi.

Next destination was a dessert parlour.
It seems like there is a seperate place to do everything here, you eat here, then go for coffee there, then dessert at another place.
Dessert was brilliant.
Coconut icecream in a young baby coconut. Mmm, what more could be said ?
On the side was sponge cake and mint flavoured water (tasted like water + toothpaste).

oh. i am getting accustomed to the traffic here. sometimes i think how awesome it would be to have my car here. i'd cause a massacre. i think the sound of it would scare many of them shitless before i hit them. i miss my car :(

MANO: day 2 shopping and eating

the next instalment of mano and cat's escapade

day 2: shopping and eating

So the day begins at 6am.... we are so liking the extra houred days.

The US$2 buffet breakfast wasnt so bad.
I was re-united with asian orange juice, i.e tang ... MmM.
On the menu was pho, spring rolls, lotus salad and etc.

Fed and ready to take on Ho Chi Minh city, we walk 500metres.
We get hassled by old rickshaw women, pestering us to buy their cigarettes,gum and that kinda shit.
The best thing to do is to turn a blind eye or keep walking.
Across the road from the big market, ready to walk fearlessly to the otherside i notice someone.
'Hey look its a poor guy on crutches (cat points and laughs)' ...'oh SHAT hes coming' now faced with either rushing across the road and possibly being hit by 48728472 road users or being hassled by a beggar.
Quickly i dart across the road dragging screaming cat's hand. In the corner of my eye i see the beggar following our footsteps. Sucker ! We got away.
We browse through the market stalls, buying some stupid things at probably high prices.
Outside i notice a roundabout monument, so i pop out for a photo.... "OH SHAT BeGGar coming in fast".
So we evade another beggar by dashing back inside.
Still browsing, not really concentrating ahead we are confronted by the Crutches begger. FOCK !

We take a taxi to "Diamond Plaza" an upmarket department store
Very flash and modern, better looking than anything in Sydney.... but
F*ck was it pricey ! anything decent looking was AUD$120.00.
As with all asian shopping centres, there are more staff than shoppers.
Vain b*tches constantly looking in mirrors, busting zits, brushing hair.
Needless to say i didnt buy anything there. :-)

Lunch today is at a man made recreational fishing restaurant.
Multiple shacks perched above the water.
The idea is that you fish and should you catch anything, they cook it.
The tackle is a 3 metre bamboo rod with excess fishing line & rusty hook.
The fish are plentiful, but are overfed.
Along with the typical vietnamese entrees, we had the lamb cutlets we brought from Oz, cooked on a charcoal bbq. MmM.
The fish were teasing us, nibble, nibble, nibble.
Other people were catching big ones.
One man had something finger sized, but still he scaled & cooked it.
I fumbled my opportunity to shine...
The other vietos made a commotion of noise, as a fish took my bait.
I was pre-occupied eating, not realising behind me, the fish was taking my rod into the water. I recovered the rod by lying flat on my chest with a big stretch to grab the rod, but no fish. F#%!#^!#Cc!!kk !

So with Cat's father as a guide, we are taken through to the better quality shopping centres and malls.
I chose a bling bling diamond encrusted Rolex, while cat frothed over some nice bags. I over paid the shop girl (1 of 5 in a small counter) by 50,000 dong, i.e $4.50, she returned it with a smile and said something in vietnamese, Cat's dad translated it to me as "i'll give you sexual favours if you let me keep this". ....... She wasnt a looker. Boo.

On to a dessert house, we had Dessert. Vietnamese yoghurt, creme caramel, bean custard etc. .
I must say, lucky the dessert back in Oz isnt as good, otherwise i'd be twice as fat.

It's the evening now, and to kill time, we are taxi-ed to a big supermarket.
The fast food chain here is called "Lotteria".. it looks...... uhh edible ?
In the supermarket itself, its not too different from home except the fact hardly anthing is in english. There are some American products we dont get back home. The worst part is teh "fresh" meat market. with your typical refrigeration cases but the meat not fresh and openly displayed.
The smell is what kicks you in the face, as you approach, your body fights for the last pocket of breathable air in your lungs and the sensation of purging kicks in.

Dinner is at a fancy restaurant (from the outside anyways). Food was good though.

On to our last destination for the night, MTV club, a live entertainment club.
Dont let the name fool you, its actually Mercury TV club.
The live acts are quite entertaining, sitting right beside the stage, the view of some female entertainers was uplifting :). Their music wasnt bad.
Vietnamese Celine Dion, Destinys Child & Robbie Williams.
I must say, in darkness, viet chicks are BANGING ! dont turn on the lights !
Just aswell that the 11pm curfew was imposing because we were BUGGERED.

MANO: day 1 ho chi minh city touchdown

i got this email from mano today and found it rather tantilising, so here is the first installment of his trip to vietnam and thailand:

DAY 1: HO CHI MINH CITY TOUCHDOWN

The 8 hour flight begins to decend and cat has her face in a paper bag !

The predominately male flight attendants give us thanks for flying with Vietnam airlines and then
the unmistakable heat and smell of Asia smacks us in the face.

The airport has a damp, unfriendly vibe, full of tacky billboards.
The customs officer is a prick.
After a scrutinizing process i am allowed to pass.
On to baggage security, i am stopped and forced to pay a fee for having a laptop
(while the guy behind gets through fine with his).

So now exiting the airport, i am taken to the hotel. Front seat in a left hand drive Daewoo Lanos sedan !.
I am introduced to Ho Chi Minh city peak hour traffic.
Traffic is not a good enough description. It is almost like "organised chaos" scooters, cyclists, buses,vans & cars in any alongside, in front and behind..
From above i am sure it resembles an ant colony.
Never a dull moment, near misses every moment, sitting in the front right hand seat of the car, i grab for the non existent steering wheel and my feet hit the floor in panic.
Amongst the bikes i have spotted a MB CL500 and a few E classes + a BMW 645CI.

We pull up to the hotel "Lan Lan 2" which i must add is the best looking building i have seen so far.
We are shown to our room on the tenth floor of a nine floor hotel . uhh.
Its pretty shabby, cosy little old wall mount airconditioned room with ensuite.
But I was content in fear of being placed in worse conditions if we were to kick up a stink.
Cat's mum comes to visit and returns to reception with foreign BLAST MOUTH FURY ........!!!!!!.
We are relocated from the tenth (laundry / staff floor) to the first.
Much nicer room. Bathroom just as "Lush" as the room itself, which is a good thing incase i spend equal time in both.

We are off to dinner. Some sort of open bbq place sponsored by Tiger beer. It's a vietnamese version of Lone star.
As i walk in it feels as if i am an alien, with everyone looking at me :(
I notice a fish tank and expect to see some species of viet fish, but no... i see goldfish. i hope they are just for show.
I sit down amongst the locals and notice a menu board listing the following in english:
GOAT PENIS, BREAST SHE GOAT, BEEF PENIS & SEA LEECH. MMM Yum !
I remind myself..... Travelan is a must.
Wet towels are embraced like a good glass of ice and softdrink to me back home.
With splintered chopsticks i eat the vietnamese cuisine, nothing too out there. Jiffy powered steamboat anyone ?
On exit we acknowledge some other aussie diners. What a warm feeling.
I notice three scorpions on a plate.. uhhh
Still trying to grab a imaginary steering wheel during the taxi ride back to the hotel, the taxi driver takes a wrong turn and then begins to reverse into a busy intersection. I was waiting for a collision but it didnt happen.

We decide to buy some drinks to replace the bar fridge items. 4 bottles of water, 3 cans of coke = AUD$3.00
In the corner of my eye i notice a street kid. i paid no attention to him.
I then hear a kid falling over at my feet, i look down to hear the same little bastard pretending to be hurt. "AAIIyYAhhH"
F*king Street kid scammer (raffle ticket seller). He follows me back to the hotel 200metres away like fly on horseshit !
Cat came in handy with her FOREGN VIETNAMESE TELLING OFF SKILLS.

Safe in the room, we call it a night. (EST 2AM).

Be in touch again soon.

as recounted by manorak ditthavong