Weigh In

I'm down 1.8 pounds.

And I have to say, some small part of me was disappointed. 

I kind of expected a bigger loss and I realized that this is one reason that I continue to be heavier than I like -- I'm an instant gratification kind of gal.

I want what I want, when I want it.

Sigh.

Life doesn't always make this possible, and I realize that many things worth having aren't going to come easy. I need to have patience. With the process. With myself.

I need to reframe the loss into more of a positive. The scale moved down. I am continuing on the journey. It was a good week. I wasn't hungry and I really like the new Weight Watches Points system.

That isn't to say that I didn't have cravings -- because I did. And I was able to indulge -- I had a piece of cake, ate out twice and even had a little candy. And I still lost.

And I think that's how I need to think about this -- that it will take however long it takes -- and that it may take a long time, but it's going to be worth it. 

Bit the Bullet

So...I did it.

I bit the bullet.

I joined (re-joined) weight watchers today.

I have mixed feelings about it.

I know I need to be healthier and I really have sincerely tried to lose weight over the years -- but I am a stress eater and someone who doesn't deal well with delayed gratification.

This is not a good combination.

But I have several friends who have had great success on the program, and the latest, my friend Lauril is a total inspiration to me.

I lost a lot of weight right after Katie was born and one of my happiest moments was realizing that everything in the plus size store was just too big and I needed go shop at a regular store. Seriously. O Happy Day.

But i've been stuck where I am for quite a while, and in fact noticed the scale starting to move in the wrong direction.

I refuse to go there again.

But I also know I need to do something different to make any lasting change in my life and I hope this is the start.

I have made a real effort to move away from the pessimistic, somewhat sad person that I used to be and it's been a strange thing.

I have tried to complain less. To look for the good more. To let go of the past. Not to beat myself up for mistakes.

And now I am hoping I am ready to take the next step. Being optimistic. Believing in myself. Believing that I can do hard things.

We have started to get up at 5:30 am and having family scripture study and family prayer. It's so very hard at time of day to get up and do it.

But I have already seen what a huge blessing it's been to our family and  I think it fits right in there with the idea that we can all do hard things.

At some point today I even had the thought that it might be helpful to tape some positive affirmations up on my mirror to reinforce the idea that I know can do this. That I can choose this for myself.

That's when I realized that somewhere along the way I have started to be like my perennially happy husband -- and it gave me a moment of pause.

I think that's the last place I expected my life's journey to take me!

Life is a Zoo

We played hooky today. Shhhh. : )

Troy had the day off work and suggested that we take the little kids to the zoo.

So, off we went -- and we could not have picked a nicer day. 70 degrees. sunny. perfect.

The orangatans were out when we got there and this was one of everyone's favorite things. Love seeing them move about the zoo on the overhead lines.

The kids had a blast!

This pizza playground is so funny.

Some of the other favorite animals of the day:

The Big Cats.

The turtles.

Loved the stinging nettles.

Always love the butterfly house. I guess it's too early in the season as there were only two types of butterflies out today.

And who doesn't love the pandas? We got to see them both outside and inside today. Very cool.

And each of the kids wanted a turn with the camera...so I turned over my baby and they each too a photo. This one from Becky was one of my favorites.

Peeks

I promised myself that I wouldn't do any personal blogging until I got my last few photo sessions were edited.

Want a peek?

These are on their way to you Sheri!

And of course...this little bit of goodness.

Don't these just make you want another? : )

Well...maybe not, but maybe Jen will just have to let me come over and hold hers again.

Blogging on Blogging

I have opinions.

Did  you know that?

haha.

Of course you did. 

But, I have found myself starting posts and deleting them...unsure of what to say or share.

I have been heavily self-editing and it ends up not being worth sharing after I have taken out everything that it seems like I couldn't share. (did you follow that?)

I know -- this too seems highly ironic after all the over sharing I have done about my surgery.

I end up wishing I could be more like my friend Hilary, who posts about all kinds of things and shares her opinions freely. I love the snapshot her family will get of what kind of person she was and really enjoy being able to read about what was going on in the world today.

Or...if I could be more like my friend Lara, who had gotten so good about writing about the everyday stuff that it just seemed natural that when her family hit a bump in the road, she would use her blog to update and uplilft everyone she knows.

So...I'm hoping to do a little more blogging. Keeping it real. Sharing not just our family stories, but mine as well.

Any thoughts on how to do this? : )