You Say You Want a Resolution? Well...

..how about, like, ten of them?

I don't really do "resolutions" so much as make a to-do list for the coming year, because I learned a long time ago that claiming I intend to "get in shape" or "do less of X and more of Y" is a complete sham. I need specifics. Goals. Items to check off. (When did I become such a Type A personality, anyway? I used to be such a slacker!)

Last night, I asked Bear what's on his to-do list for 2010. His reply: "Taking down the Christmas lights."

And....?

"And...that's about it."

It's not that he won't accomplish anything between January 2 and December 31 this year; he just claims that "men live in the moment rather than planning that far ahead." Maaaaybe. My theory is that men don't make to-do lists because women make them FOR them. Honey-do, anyone? (This, by the way, is a practice I have not yet adopted, even though we're 5 years into our marriage now. Perhaps Bear is happy to let me make an epic list for myself each year so that I'll have no time to think up stuff for him to do!)

Keira's resolutions would look something like:
1) Drink more chocolate milk.
2) Watch more Nick Jr.

(Much to her chagrin, one of Mommy's resolutions directly contradicts that second one).

And Elliana's pretty much entails
1) Licking everything possible
2) Attaining new and exciting levels of mischief

Simple. Concise. Realistic. As for mine...well, you be the judge.

2010 Resolutions/To-Do List

1) Bear Resolution: Find a way to go on at least one date per month.

2) Mom Resolution A: Limit Keira to 4 TV shows a day.

This is going to be a tough one for all of us. Bear and I started out as "No TV for our kid!" parents, but in the past year, letting her watch one "Dora" a day has gradually led to an addiction worthy of a 12-step program. The words "C'n I watch a Dora?" or "But I wanna watch Kiwi shows!" are whined a billion times a day, and it's become all too easy for me to turn on the TV anytime I need to go put Ellie down for a nap or get some housework done. There's plenty of evidence out there that TV can have a negative impact on kids, and though I'm not terribly worried about Keira (she definitely doesn't have language delays, weight issues, or major behavior problems as a result of her Nick Jr. habit), we now have an Ellie-Bug to think about, too. It's time to kick the habit, or at least get it in check.

Below are the 4 magnetic TV "tokens" I posted on the fridge (on the right), next to a list of ideas for other things she can do besides watch TV (on the left). When she watches a show, one token goes in the basket; when the tokens are gone, the TV stays off for the rest of the day. May the Force be with us when that happens.


3) Mom Resolution B: Print out photos and/or directions for crafts to do with Keira and put them in a folder, so they're easy to grab and do when we have a chance...which we will more often, thanks to #2 above.

4) Green Resolution: Replace our cleaning products with green alternatives, using this list or similar.

5) Cooking Resolution: Try 10 new recipes this year. (I just got Rachael Ray's Book of 10 and have half the book dog-eared, so this shouldn't be too hard.)

6) Finish tracking down the signatures and doing the paperwork I keep putting off, to officially get my Reading Specialist certificate.

7) Donate blood at least 5 times.

I'm O negative (the "universal donor") and have only donated once since I found out, because a) I keep forgetting about it, and b) after that one donation, I calmly walked out into the recovery lounge, assured the nurse I felt fine, and then almost passed out on their floor, so it's not an experience I'm eager to repeat. On the other hand, compared to those people who get trapped under something heavy and have to saw their own legs off, or to anyone who's going through actual suffering, it's really not that difficult, so I need to suck it up!

8) Find more time, energy, and/or attention for Catey-Pup.

More on this later.

9) Let one or both of the girls spend the night at Grandma's house at least once.

Confession: neither of the girls has ever spent a night away from me. Does this make me a freak? I'm just afraid they'd miss me and want to come home in the middle of the night, and I know I'd worry the whole time about whether they were homesick. (Plus, with Ellie, the fact that I'm nursing means factoring in bottles and pumping and all kinds of nonsense I'd rather not bother with.) Grandma W. has offered to babysit overnight dozens of times since Keira was born, and if there was some guarantee they'd be perfectly happy without me, I'd love to take her up on it and get a break every now and then...but there's only one way to find that out. Arrrrggg. This one will be tough.

10) Read at least 3 non-parenting-related, non-childrens books.

It's embarrassing how little I read anymore. My English degree and teaching credential should be revoked!

I'd be fairly satisfied to check off even half the things on this list. If I accomplish none of them, I'll be exactly where I am today...that is, happier and luckier than anyone probably ever deserves to be. Not bad either way.

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man." -Benjamin Franklin

(Or, if you're perfectly happy with the man you've got, feel free to let this New Year find you something else of your choice instead!)

Happy New Year!

On the Naughty List Already?!

That would be me, not Keira.

Why?

Well, it all started with a pair of Dora slippers, which my parents bought for her a few weeks ago and which Keira has insisted on wearing to bed ever since. (YOU try explaining to her that slippers are for walking in, not sleeping in, because we haven't had any luck.)

Unfortunately for her us, the slippers do not stay on her feet very well during the night, and so quite frequently we are awakened in the wee hours of the morning by the sudden sound of hysterical crying coming from her room.

"MOMMMMAAAYYYYYYY! (sob sob sob) MOMMMMAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!"

Let me tell you that it is highly difficult to maintain one's Comforting Mommy Voice when startled out of a dead sleep (I may have mentioned briefly, a time or twelve, how sporadic my sleep is these days) by potentially baby-waking screams caused by a misplaced friggin' Dora slipper...especially when it happens a couple of times a week.

We now have frequent conversations about what to do in the event of a missing slipper:

Step 1: Check under your blankets

Step 2: Check on the floor next to your bed

Step 3: Consider coming over to the side of reason and wearing socks to bed instead, you crazy child!!

I'd like to think that, much like the "We Only Write on Paper" and the "Can You Ask That Without Using Whiney Voice?" campaigns, the message will eventually seep in through repetition alone.

However, it occurred to me at 2:30am the other morning, upon being beckoned to Keira's room in the above manner, that perhaps there is a simpler solution to this pressing problem:

What?

No??

Like I said: Naughty List.

Sorry, Santa. I'll try harder for Christmas 2011.

2009 in Review: Elliana

It's Ellie-Bug's turn! Of the four of us, she has clearly gone through the biggest changes in 2009, having started out as a fetus and ended up a waving, playing, rolling, sitting, teething (still!), laughing little goofball of a baby. Literally everything was a first for her this year!


The day before she was born:



It's a girl!


First solids:

First trip to Disneyland:

First trip to the pumpkin patch:

First Halloween:

First bath in the big tub:

Waving "hi":

First Christmas (who needs toys when you've got bows?!):

In 2010, I predict that Ellie will:

1) become the most mischievous toddler in recent history (it already seems like she has at least 6 arms and legs; Bear put tights on her on Christmas Eve and declared that next time, he's sedating her first).

2) crawl on all fours by the end of February, and have a definite first word by March (Keira's was "da" for "duck" and I'm predicting Ellie's will be "ba" for "ball").

3) finally sleep through the night consistently by the end of April (pleaseohpleaseohplease!!!).

Happy New Year to our adorable, happy, snuggly, precious Elliana!

2009 in Review: Keira

I love "Year in Review" articles and shows, because they always make me go, "Wow, THAT happened this year?!" or "Hey, I'd forgotten about that!" So, I figured it'd be fun to take a look back at what the girls were up to in 2009...first up, Keira:

Became a big sister:


Was finally old enough to help with the Passover hand-washing:


Moved to a big-girl bed:


Took a road trip:

Saw her first movie in the theater (Toy Story 3D):

Celebrated her 3rd birthday with a potential cakewreck candidate, courtesy of Mommy:

Had a blast at the pumpkin patch:

Dressed up as a kitty for Halloween (just like Dora):

Helped light our first menorah for Hanukkah:

Perfected the Sassy Pose and all the attitude that comes with it:

Looking ahead to 2010, I'd like to make a few predictions for our firstborn:

1) She will abandon the Dora obsession (pleasepleaseplease) and replace it with something far more annoying (nonononono!).

2) She'll pick up a curse word somewhere--hey, don't look at me!--and use it in a highly inopportune setting, causing Bear and/or me to be humiliated and slightly amused.

3) She'll start preschool and (hopefully) love it.

4) She'll crack us up daily with often-unintentionally hilarious Keira quotes. (That one's a no-brainer!)

Happy New Year to our gorgeous, sweet, precious Kiwi Fruit!

Christmas 2009: Reindeer Games

Years from now, this Christmas shall be looked back upon as "The One With the Games" (what, you don't name your memories like "Friends" episodes??). Keira hit the magical age of 3 just in time for the holidays, and we all took advantage of an excuse to buy her games galore: Memory, Yahtzee, Dominos (all Disney Princess editions, of course!), Ele-fun, Gone Fishin', and Hi-Ho Cherry-O. According to the commercials, playing games with your preschooler is a great way to bond as a family, and to teach important skills like teamwork and patience. I'm pretty sure the patience part is referring to the parents--just ask Bear, who played Hi-Ho Cherry-O with Keira upwards of 189 times on Christmas Day, and numerous times since!

Bear and I are definitely going to need to get our act together before next Christmas, or Keira's bound to go Nancy Drew on our arses, and the jig will be up before she hits kindergarten. We told her totally conflicting stories about who fills Mommy and Daddy's stockings (Mommy and Daddy, or Santa), and I announced to Bear over the phone that I was "almost done putting the roof on the dollhouse," unaware that he had me on speaker phone with Keira in the room. We also forgot a few presents in the trunk of the car and had to bust them out, unwrapped, halfway through Christmas Day, and totally forgot to leave cookies out for Santa. Oops. (Since Santa is diabetic, this was probably for the best, anyway.)

In any case, we had a great three-day avarice festival, featuring Christmas Eve at Grandma Marmee and Pop-Pop's, Christmas Day at our house with Grammy, Grampy, Aunt Jen, and Uncle Ryan, and then Christmas II with Grandma W., Pap-Pap, and Uncle Nick the following day. Mass quantities of food, calories, and packages were devoured, and all of it was delicious.

How about some pics?




"All I got in that stocking was a couple of Binkies and some freakin' Puffs?!"


How cute are these tights??

How is it that someone who couldn't stand Michael Jordan gave birth to two children who do MJ tongues all the time?

Thanks so much to all the grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who made this Christmas so much fun for us and the girls!

Christmas Eve 2009!

"It's almost time!! Mrs. Mommy, TEAR DOWN THIS GATE!!"

It's Christmas Eve! Keira couldn't be more excited that she gets to open the "big door" on the advent calendar tomorrow, and keeps talking about how she's going to give Santa a big hug and a kiss (never mind the fact that she won't go within 20 feet of a department store Santa--apparently she knows the difference between "helper Santas" and the real thing!). Last night at bedtime, she asked if she could go for a ride in Santa's sleigh with him, and promised she'd bring Bear, Elliana, and me with her so we wouldn't miss her while she was gone.

I have fond childhood memories of baking Christmas cookies with my mom and Grandma, so I've tried to start that tradition with Keira, beginning in 2007:

and continuing in 2008 (this was our holiday card photo):

This year, Keira and I donned our matching aprons (courtesy of one of Grandma W's quilting buddies), and we made Chocolate-Covered Cherry Cookies...

..Snow-Topped Chocolate Mint Cookies:

...Tiger Butter (Well, Bear made this himself. Sadly, he did not wear a matching apron)..

...and, of course, Christmas Cutout Cookies.

Note: these are not actual photos of the actual cookies we actually made. The actual cookies we actually made have actually been a) given out as gifts and/or b) consumed greedily. Actually.

Where are the photos of this mother-daughter baking extravaganza, you ask? On the Peaceful Scale, baking with a 3-year-old "helper"--who should really work in Quality Control, because her main objective is to sample every ingredient during every step of the process--whilst keeping a teething 8-month-old occupied with a messy biter biscuit that is being greedily stalked by a hungry pup is a far cry from my pre-mom tradition of watching You've Got Mail while baking the day away solo. It is, however, far more rewarding and much higher on the Cuteness Scale. Unfortunately, it does not leave much opportunity for photo-taking!

If I can squeeze in time today, I still want to make Chocolate Reindeer Cookies and Stained Glass Cookies/Candy (minus the coconut...ew), but I hear that Santa still has a dollhouse to assemble, and I know that Bear and I have some serious wrapping to do before we go to Grandma Marmee and Pop-Pops to gorge ourselves on tamales (what, Jews can't celebrate Noche Buena?), so that may be right up there with flying reindeer on the Realism Scale. Oh, well.

Enough of this scale talk--I've eaten approximately 27,584 calories' worth of cookies in the past week!

Let us close with our family Christmas photo from last year, featuring the Space Needle mysteriously protruding from the top of Bear's head, me looking like an utter dweebface, and Keira...well, you have eyes. Here's hoping we can get a better one of the four of us tomorrow!

Ahhh...how about this year's holiday card instead?

Merry Christmas!

The Thathhy Threes

Apparently, I missed the part of Keira's third birthday where her Offical Three-Year-Old Attitude was bestowed upon her by mischievous fairies (probably the same ones who convinced me that eating a theater-sized box of Reese's Pieces for lunch the other day was a good idea....ughghghgh, my gall bladder!). This newfound attitude can be quite a challenge to my parenting skills, primarily because she has no idea how hilarious she looks when she tries to be sassy at me.

Well, she had no idea how hilarious it looked...until she discovered that my Stern Face magically transforms into reluctant giggles every time she busts out her 'tude. I think she's attempting to put her hands on her hips, but instead, they go under her armpits in a monkey-like pose; the look is completed by pursed lips and squinty eyes. Tell me you could give a Stern Faced-Lecture when faced with this:


Oh, and behind her? That would be the gate around our Christmas tree. A certain someone has knocked it over three times now, cueing a "Haven't-I-told-you-the-tree-is-for-looking-at-not-touching" lecture that was thwarted, of course, by her Miss Attitude stance, and ended in giggles on both our parts.

Ditto for tonight, when I went in to put Elliana down for bed and came out to find that Keira had gotten out a step stool, swiped the fourth cookie of the day that I'd told her she couldn't have from the hiding place I thought she couldn't see or reach, opened the fridge and took out my bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper, and kicked back on the couch to revel in her Home Alone-like glory. She even had the gall to belch my own stolen soda in my face (accidentally) during her post-discipline bedtime story!

If I don't learn to get it under control, she'll be shoplifting purses and dealing pot before I know it--and I hear the police are pretty good at resisting all forms of preschool sass, however humorous their parents might find it.

Ellie, for her part, has a new trick: she waves! I may be a wee bit biased, but I am fairly certain this is the cutest thing ever done by a human child in the history of the universe. She does it with a closed fist, as if revving a Harley:

I cannot get enough of it. So much so, in fact, that I feel a still photo is not enough to fully capture the cuteness (plus, it really looks more like a Black Power fist in that photo, doesn't it?) and feel compelled to share a video, complete with my dorky mom-voice:

Such a sweet little wave. Wave buh-bye to your big sister's Not-So-Terrible Two's, Ellie Bug, and wave hello to the Thathhy (that would be "sassy" with a lisp, people...keep up) Threes!

Lucky to Know Her

The other night, Bear took Keira out of the bathtub and helped her put on her new Tinkerbell underwear. As he was brushing her hair, she passed gas loudly.

Bear: "Hey, you just pooted on Tinkerbell!"

Keira (ruefully and totally serious): "Yeah...because I don't know her."

Given that policy, those of us who know her should consider ourselves very lucky.

Those of you who don't?

Beware.

Sleepy Thoughts

We're going on two weeks of almost no sleep here, thanks to Ellie's unrelenting teething and all of us coming down with a wretched head cold. Lacking the time or energy for a real post, here, instead, are a few thoughts that have crossed my sleep-deprived mind of late:

1) "OWWWWWWWW!"

That was shortly after I walked face-first into the side of our open bedroom door at 5am the other morning. Apparently sleeping in three or four 45-minute intervals for over a week takes its toll on your vision. We got a menorah, God-in-Law...did I really deserve a broken eyebrow?! Luckily (?), a bruised brow really just looks like 80's eyeshadow.

2) Muttered at the glare coming through my rearview mirror on the way to work yesterday: "Turn off your high beams, moron!" Oh...wait. That's the sun. It's 7am. Who's the moron here?

3) Commercials are cruel. I keep seeing that Prilosec one that talks about "the 8 hours your eyes are closed every night." Oh, bite me.

4) My kids may not sleep, but they are not lacking in preciousness:





"In a few years, I'll be able to bake you a cake with a file in it. Hang tight, sis."


Contemplative Binks:

Sporting the Cutest Witch Costume Ever, courtesy of Grandma Marmee:

"My Hanukkah presents RULE!"

Just chillin' on Big Sister's Sit n' Spin (which, hilariously, plays instrumental ripoffs of 80's music, including Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough"):

All I want for Christmas is a good night's sleep....a good night's sleep....a good night's sleep!