World's Cutest Personal Assistant

Ellie and I went grocery shopping yesterday, and on the way she decided she wanted to make her own grocery list. Thanks to having a smarty-pants reader for a big sister (and maybe partly from having a teacher mommy, though they seem to learn more from PBS Kids than from me!), she's getting pretty good at sounding out words already. She asked lots of questions, like, "What makes the /ch/ sound?" or, "What comes after the e?" and took her list-making very seriously.

I can't even remember what most of this says, but I know it includes cheese, chicken, bananas, pita bread, and my personal favorite, "olivz," which is the one she sounded out all by herself!








Since the geniuses at Trader Joe's provide pint-sized grocery carts for small humans like her, Ellie got to find the items on her list and put them in her very own cart:








Now I just need to teach her how to plan meals, and then I can turn this pesky task over to her completely. (I wish.) In the meantime, it's definitely a lot more bearable with the cutest assistant ever along for the ride!

Who Needs Mommy?

The past few weeks have made it clear that I'm well on my way to becoming obsolete already. The girls are picking up new skills and barreling through mini rites of passage like crazy!

First of all, Keira is bucking for my job, big-time. She's practically a teacher and a mom already!

"C'mere, Ellie! I'll button your coat."























She recently mastered how to do the towel turban after her showers, and now she turbans Ellie's hair for her, too. Step aside, Mom. We got this. (Do you love my skilled Photoshopping?)







































You can tell Kiwi is a pro at the big sister/mini Mommy thing by how much Ellie adores her. Kindergarten drop-off looks like a scene from The Notebook. She's going to school for four hours, Ells...not being shipped off to war!























Adding to her big-girl cred, Keira got her own library card the other day (mostly because I was checking out a bazillion biographies for my class and there's a 25-book limit per card). She was THRILLED and signed the back of her card very, extremely carefully (as exhibited by the tongue sticking out).  Now all that stands between her and solo library trips is a little thing called a driver's license...























...although since she just learned how to ride her bike without training wheels, at least she's got one feasible mode of transportation:
















(Seriously, how awesome is my grandma to run up and down the street, at 70 years old, helping Keira learn to balance?) (And how lame am I to have just stood there taking videos and pictures while she did so?)

Last week, I asked one of her former teachers if there was a good time for us to stop by for a visit, which Kiwi has been asking to do for a while.  She suggested that Keira come in as a "guest speaker" to teach the class all about what to expect in kindergarten.  Of course, our little teacher jumped all over that idea, and even wrote down a list of things she wanted to say, including:

1)  If you want a friend, be a friend.
2)  Don't be afraid to try new things.
3)  Listen to the teacher
4)  Be a good sport.

Unfortunately, she forgot her list at home, but not to worry--amid all the preschoolers' random interruptions ("I gotta go potty!"  "I got a Transformer for Christmas."  "My brother's name is Ryan."), I'm sure they didn't really hear a word she said, anyway.  She had a good time, though!























So, Keira is practically a grown-up.  But at least I can console myself with the fact that Ellie is still a small human, right?

Wrong.

Ellie, too, is all about swiping my gig and doing things "all by herself."

I can make my OWN strawberry milk!























(By the way? Ewww. I will never understand how people can drink milk with strawberry syrup in it. Then again, when you consider the fact that said milk is actually intended for nursing baby cows, it's an altogether weird thing for us to be swigging out of a glass regardless.)

After figuring out how to fasten the chest clip on her car seat ages ago, Ells can now buckle the bottom part without help, too...and God help you if you try to do it for her!

Just...one...more...second...almost...got it...

  

(Somewhere, I have a photo of Keira at this age, screaming at me with indignant rage because I tried to help her do the bottom buckle.  I wish I could find it!)

 No task may be completed without help from Ellie-Bug:

"Just gimme the keys, Mom.  I'll get the mail!"























But the best news of all--the BEST news--is that the little cupcake is finally tall enough to go in the kids' playroom at Ikea!























I cannot adequately convey how exciting this was for her--for both girls, actually, because Keira had never been in there, either.  And for us, I gotta say, it's pretty handy to have an hour of free, totally fun childcare while you shop for stuff you don't really totally need, so it's a win-win!  Too bad the nearest Ikea is 45 minutes away...

So, there you have it.  I'm about ready to be put out to pasture already!

Actually, I am a little bit sad to see the girls growing up so quickly, but I must admit that being able to sleep until 9am some mornings while they get themselves up is pretty nice.  Being obsolete definitely has its perks!

Parenting F"ale"

I could tell you many things about Bear: the fact that he loves football enough to watch reruns of old games; how he can eat five M&M's and then leave the rest of the package for another day (as if they'd last that long with me around!); that he detests getting up early in the morning; how once he hears that something electronic around the house isn't working right, he's compelled to figure it out and fix it immediately.

I would think the girls would have plenty to add to that list: how his beard is scratchy when he pretends to gobble their necks, that he's always willing to play "Super Soccer Kick" with them in the hallway, or that he has a "secret shortcut" whenever he drives them somewhere. But here's the #1 fact that seems to come to their minds--especially Ellie's mind--when it comes to Daddy:

"He likes beer."

That's it...his defining characteristic. This is strange and kind of hilarious to me, because Bear drinks mayyyyybe one beer a night, tops, and that is the extent of his connection to beer. It's an odd thing for them to find so memorable, right?

So we'll be at the grocery store and walk past the magazines, and Ellie will say, "I know Daddy would like a BEER magazine!"

Or I'll ask Keira what we should get Daddy for Christmas and she'll say, "Hmmm...well, we know he likes beer!" (And then she will beg to use her own money to buy him a bottle of beer, and I have to try to explain why that would be all kinds of inappropriate).

Or Ellie will announce that she's building a hideout for everyone she knows, and that "it'll have BEER in it...for boys." (And then I will start naming women we know who also drink beer, as if it's essential that my 3-year-old be conscious of gender stereotypes surrounding types of alcoholic beverages. Because that's what matters.)

What ACTUALLY matters is that one day, one of the girls is going to make enough Daddy/beer related comments to convince someone (possibly one of their teachers, also known as my colleagues!) that Bear is some kind of alcoholic...or, at least, a beer-guzzling couch potato. And he's totally not. He's this totally sweet guy who loves to hang out with his family and occasionally be silly. See?



Okay, bad choice of pictures. How about this one?


Yeah, that's better.

Kid Quotes

Having kids is excellent entertainment. Here are some of my favorite recent (or semi-recent) quotes from the girls:

Ellie: "Daddy has a HUUUUGE butt."

Me: "Ellie! That's not nice! And no, he doesn't!"

Ellie, correcting herself: "He has a LARGE butt."
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Keira, doing her homework: "Spelling HE is about as easy as dropping a screwdriver."
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Ellie, in the car and totally at random: "I think Benny the Bull [from "Dora"] has three barns...one for him, one for his pets, and one for dance parties."
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Keira: "We got a new kid at school today. He and I gave each other a few little hugs. But then he threw up and had to go home."
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Keira: "What are the lights on the back of the car called?"

Me: "Tail lights."

Keira: "So it's like the car has a head and a tail? I think I'd rather call them butt lights."
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Me, snuggling with Keira: "Does your mama love you?"

Keira: "Yes." [pause, then a coy smile] "And if you don't, you should."
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Keira, watching a commercial for "Forever Lazy" adult footie pajamas: "Mom, you should get one of those, because you're ALWAYS lazy."
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Ellie, when Keira asked to play with her new doll: "No! She's ALLERGIC to you!"
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Keira, playing a game with Ellie: "I won! [perky Barbie voice] Now I get to disgrace you."
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Ellie, calmly, while getting her hair brushed: "Mommy, I'm feeling fierce today."

What's More Frightening?

The following creepy crawly creature is perched outside (that is totally my favorite word in this sentence) our front door.


The picture doesn't really do it justice; this thing is about as big as my palm and looks like something Bear Grylls would encounter and possibly (ugh) cook as a campfire dinner in the wilderness.

We have no idea what it is, but the girls had the following comments:

Ellie: "I think it's a ranch bug." (Yeah, I dunno what that means, either.)

Keira: "We could punch it in the face..."

Um, no. That would involve touching it. And acknowledging that it has a face. But it's good to know she's willing to brawl with nature for no apparent reason. Maybe Bear Grylls needs a sidekick: "Man and Child vs. Wild"

Ellie: "We could squish it to see what's inside it. [grin] Maybe there's candy inside!"

So really, this is less an issue of "What the hell is that bug on our doorstep?" and more an issue of "What is wrong with our children?! And why does Ellie associate disgusting insects with pinatas?"

I don't think we'll ever know the answer to any of these questions, but I'll be content if that creature takes up residence elsewhere. Soon.

Catching Up: Holiday Pics

So here it is, January 6, and I haven't posted anything here for over a month.  "Update blog weekly" is definitely going on the resolutions list!

Keira and I have had three glorious weeks of vacation from school, and I have to say I'm dreading taking her back to school tomorrow.  Between what happened in Newtown and just wanting to have my #1 girl around as much as possible, I'd much rather keep her home with me!

Here are some pics of the fun we had during the holidays, in no particular order because Blogger is annoying like that.  Most of these were part of our Activity Advent Calendar, which has been a really fun way to keep the girls focused on special people and events instead of gift mongering.  I really tried to keep things simple and inexpensive this year, and not to cram in so much stuff that we ended up stressed and exhausted, so most of the activities we did were quick at-home things that didn't take much time.

Since Google Docs is a pain (or maybe it's because our computer is ancient), I just took a photo of my always-ongoing idea list instead:

We didn't make it to "Bring Your Menorah" night at the temple this year, but we lit our own menorah at home each night of Hanukkah, and Keira is officially an expert at playing dreidel!

One night, we had a Grinch dinner of "roast beast" (really roasted chicken), "Who Hash" (hash browns), Grinchy Green Beans, and Who Pudding (vanilla pudding dyed green).

Ellie attacked her Who Pudding with alarming ferocity!

...and then, of course, we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas to finish off the night!

Another night, we made cinnamon "snowflakes" out of tortillas, and they were goooooood!

At school, the kindergarten classes did a Christmas performance, and Keira was stinking adorable in her Santa hat:

That morning, I'd had rare (and temporary) success with a Pinterest idea and gave her a reindeer hairdo, which lasted approximately ten minutes once she got to school and was totally hidden by her cute Santa hat.  Oh, well.

The girls had fun decorating pot holders with fabric paint for some of our family and friends...

...and although we didn't make it up to the snow (yet) this winter, Keira invented a way to go sledding right in our play room:

It's not Christmas until I'm baking Christmas cookies while watching You've Got Mail, and I managed to make some pretty cute cookies thanks to a better icing recipe from my principal (the secret is to use a recipe that includes corn syrup, which helps the frosting set and stay shiny).

Do you think Ellie put enough sprinkles on her cookie?  One of my friends called it a Chia Cookie, which I think is fitting:

Our friends included us in their "PJ Run" tradition a few years ago, and now we take turns surprising each other's kids each year by storming the house in our jammies at bedtime.  The kids freak out when they hear the pots and pans clanging and the chant: "PJ Run!  PJ Run!  PJ Run!"  When the chaos settles down, we load the kids into our cars, drive around looking at Christmas lights, and then go out for ice cream.  Here's our little six-pack of weirdos:

Every year, we go downtown to the Festival of Lights at least once with the girls' Aunt Lisa, Uncle Johnny, and cousin Brandon, and again with my family.  We pretend we're there for the beautiful decorations and the festive atmosphere,  but the truth is...it's all about the mini donuts.  And the photo ops:














































This year, we finally remembered to get tickets to the Irvine Park Railroad's Christmas train, and a bunch of my friends from high school ended up meeting us at the park for a mini reunion.  I hadn't seen some of them in a decade or more, and it was crazy to see all of us grown up with kids of our own!  

After the girls, my parents, Bear, and I rode the train, the girls got their second Santa visit and photo of the year:

I read online that you can decorate plain plates and mugs with Sharpie and then bake them to set the ink, so I decided this was the perfect alternative to those expensive DIY kids pottery places and helped the girls make a special plate for Santa's cookies.  We sketched in pencil first, then colored with Sharpies, and it came out pretty cute! 

Unfortunately, I got the bright idea to cover the plate with spray acrylic to seal the ink (figuring it's not like Santa would be licking it or anything), but it ended up smearing it instead.  Maybe we'll try again next year.

Luckily, Santa didn't hold a grudge and still visited on Christmas Eve.  He even left the girls a letter...
























...and the new swing set they'd asked for!  Actually, maybe Santa DID hold a grudge: he neglected to have his elves assemble this bad boy, so Grampy and Daddy had to put it together instead.  Now we no longer have a rusty old death trap in our back yard, though--hooray!

















My parents got each of their three biggest grandkids one of these Plasma Cars, which are pretty cool and not in violation of my "For the Love of All Things, Do NOT Buy My Children $300 Power Wheels Vehicles" policy.  You just turn the steering wheel back and forth to move the car forward, so there are no batteries or anything...plus, they hold up to 220 lbs, so I totally took a spin on one of them myself!  Way fun, simple, and not a bazillion dollars.  Whee!

Speaking of a bazillion dollars...my grandma has been wanting to get Keira an American Girl doll for a while now, and I've been scrunching up my face at the idea.  They're expensive, and their accessories are astronomically expensive, and I thought it would either sit in a box so as to stay pristine (waste of money) or get dragged all over creation and destroyed (again, waste of money).  But, it is a grandparent's prerogative to waste money on their grandchildren, and she decided to take the risk anyway.  Was it worth it?  I think this picture says it all:

Keira named her doll Emily, after her best friend in kindergarten, and is beyond thrilled to have a doll who looks just like her.  Kmart and Kohl's sell matching outfits for little girls and their dolls (for less than a bazillion dollars, thankfully), and get this--our little underwear sleeper has actually been sleeping in a NIGHTGOWN ever since Christmas, because her doll sleeps in a matching one!  We definitely won't be getting Emily her own wardrobe or a $150 doll-size grand piano (are you KIDDING ME?!), but it's fun to see Kiwi enjoying her so much.

And not to be outdone, Ellie immediately decided that she wanted an American Girl doll, too!  We took her $20 in Christmas money from her great-great grandma, added $10 to it, and got her a faux AG doll instead, and she totally doesn't know or care. (Cheap Mommy Powers...activate!!) Meet Annabella:

Finally, we rang in the New Year at home, celebrating with the girls on East Coast time:

And thus endeth 2012! Happy New Year!

A-Caroling We Will Go!

We've barely turned the calendar page over to December, but the holiday festivities have already started!

On Wednesday night, my partner and I took our class (plus our own kids) to an outdoor shopping center that actually--get this--PAYS classes and children's groups to go caroling through their stores!  To earn a donation of $5 per kid, we spent a few days practicing songs and then brought our bundled-up bunch to spread some (admittedly early) Christmas cheer to all the over-achieving shoppers busily crossing names off their lists already.  Not a bad use of child labor, right?  That money we earned is going to help us finish off shopping for the family our class "adopted" this year, so we feel that totally justifies exploiting our kids' cuteness.

I braced myself for some Keira drama that night, because she didn't know any of the songs we'd been practicing in class, and I figured there was a pretty good chance she'd end up tearfully declaring she couldn't sing and wanted to go home.  I love it when I'm wrong!  She took her little songbook and set about being the best professional caroler there ever was.  As we walked into each store or restaurant, I'd hear her asking my partner, "Which song are we going to sing here?" and then she'd start looking for the right page.  She followed along as best she could, and chuckled when we came out of one restaurant as she said, "I spent half of 'Feliz Navidad' trying to find the right page!'"  Of course, when we collected up the song books at the end of the night, Kiwi wanted to keep hers to study it for next year.  Talk about your over-achievers!

As usual, Ellie-Bug was just along for the ride, without a care in the world.  She enjoyed her treat from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, rode along in the stroller, and practiced making random silly faces.

Before we left, the movie theater gave each of the kids a big bag of popcorn to reward their efforts, and Ellie managed to spill the entire bag onto the floor of the car on the way home.  Oops.

On Friday night, we met Auntie Lisa, Uncle Johnny, and cousin Brandon for dinner downtown, and then walked around to check out the Festival of Lights.  One of these days, I'll figure out how to take nice-looking pictures of Christmas lights, but I never seem to get around to it.

They had some fake snow falling at one point, so the girls had a great time frolicking around and then showing off their snowflakey hair.

Every year, this is where the girls get their picture taken with Santa, and it's always been the same Santa.  Not this year!  Oh, well.  It came out really cute.

 They asked him for a new swing set, since theirs is all rusted and is basically an E.R. trip (or at least an "America's Funniest Home Videos" moment) waiting to happen, so hopefully the big guy and his elves will deliver!