030315

Hi, Likewise, I needed time to process whatever you wrote. I took steps to establish a platonic relationship not because ive stopped liking you. I took it because i felt like we werent feeling the same about each other. And i was beginning to mess up you life. And also because someone else came into the picture. Its sucks to tell you this. Because i feel like my liking you suddenly meant so much lesser than it really is. You have to know that its not. There was the time when i would choose you in a heartbeat. But i'm led by my emotions. As hard as it is to say i chose the other way because i always felt like my liking you was one sided, as much as you said it isn't and you went to switch off your timestamp right after. I know what you did was because i was crazy. But it did play a part and i cant deny that it affected me alot. You dont have to be sorry about it. You insisting yours is just infatuation. I know it might have seemed too early then for you to believe it was more than just infatuation for me. I wouldn't go so far as to say that i was disappointed by your actions. I guess it was more mutual, in the sense that i was expecting too much and wanted more than what you could have offered me at the beginning. I felt incredibly happy whenever you showed me the tiniest bit of affection, and sore disappointment whenever you brought up the fact that i shouldnt expect too much from this. I guess that made me shut off my emotions to you. I realised i couldnt and shouldnt bring myself to want this anymore than i should. To be honest, I havent stopped liking you. Even now. But i dont think i can act upon it anymore, since ive already made a decision. And itll be selfish for me to continue keeping you by my side as more than a friend. Also, i dont want you to feel like youre my back up. Cause i would choose you over anyone else in a heartbeat. Weird huh. Knowing you for such a short time only. And im never one to ever feel so strongly for someone. Ive never felt like im giving up on something good until now. I dont think i can be friends with you right now either. Haha. I havent stopped thinking about that kiss and you holding my hand. And its very hard for me to get over you at this point. But at the same time. I dont want to stop talking to you, even if its just as friends. Haha so conflicting right. I dont want us to stop talking But i only have the capacity to be friends with you. I know thats a very selfish thing. So im gonna give you time and space. And for myself too. Just for a little while. Until i can keep my emotions in check. So right now, even if i might not be making the best of choices, i'm still gonna stick to my decision. Should there ever be a time where i get a chance to fight for you again, I definitely would. But right now i can only wish you all the best. All the happiness you can get. And i hope you can find a better person out there better than me. I'm sorry.

Its never abt the other person. It has always been you and me. And to put it honestly. It was too late when you had a change of heart. No because i stopped liking you. But because i couldnt bring myself feel like this anymore. And to put it selfishly. If ever i get another shot at this. I wont let you go anymore. But i cant say all these to you without letting you on or leaving you hanging. Im sorry things had to be this way. Emotionally i dont think i can subject myself like that for now. I know you feel damn shitty now. Im sorry i really want to be there for you. I do. I really cant bear for you to feel this way. Im sorry i cant be there for you anymore, not anything more than in the capacity of friends . As much as i want to. Im sorry.

Im really sorry for putting you through all of these. Theres nothing else i can do to make you feel better. I really meant every single word ive said in the letter. And i hope you will find it in you to let me in again someday. For now, all i can say is all the best in everything you do. Ill always be here if you need someone to talk to. And im sorry for letting you down.