Since Angie A. Beat Me To It…

…and already snagged AC/DC, I’m going with “Shake Rattle And Roll”.  I always did have sort of a soft spot for that psychotic pedophile anyway.  No wait.  That was Jerry Lee Lewis. 

I love Bill Haley.

This is an awesome clip, apparently from a Mexican movie.  Check out the clothes, Daddy-O!

 

Last night we had a 5.6 earthquake, apparently centered directly between me and Angie A.    The house was a-rockin’ people. (Oooo, could have gone with Stevie Ray Vaughn on that one too…) 

Angie agrees that it was probably caused by my blasphemously trash-talking Daniel Craig earlier that evening.

Fine.  She hasn’t agreed with me on that yet.  But I’m confident she will.

Just in case, I take back all the mean things I said about Daniel Craig and I promise to never, ever think bad thoughts about him again.

Well. 

You know. 

Some bad thoughts, of a certain sort, might slip through.  

I am not a nun, people.

Cookies For Halloween. Waaaay Better Than Candy.

 

Trick…

…or Treat.

 

Decisions, decisions…..  I’d have to go with… trick. 

And treat.   I’m greedy.

Ok, mostly that was for Angie A’s benefit.  I was just going to email it to her.  But I figured, “Why not share the wealth?”  I’m super-generous like that.

No.  Really.  I am.

Ok, fine.  Here’s something else:

TLo was beside herself with pride about her Hermione Granger costume (she once asked me with deep concern if I would let her go to Hogwarts when her letter came--- I’m all like, “Yep.  Sure.  Off you go!  Have fun!!”)

Unfortunately, Mean Kids suck.  She was very unhappy at the end of school today because “everyone” said her costume was “the worst one”.  Although you could take that with a pretty good chunk of sodium chloride.  It’s entirely possible only one kid (who shall remain nameless) said that.   He’s like that.  They’ve gotten into serious and heated ideological Harry Potter debates before.

And then there’s the other one.  Apparently the consensus on Facebook is that The Big One is wearing a “devilrina” costume.   You know.  A devil?  And a ballerina?  That’s totally normal, right?

Well, at least it’s highly appropriate.

 

Next time I’ll show you pictures of the two little skirts I made for TLo.  Honest.

A Cookie For A Cookie… it’s like Hammurabi. You know… Hammurabi.

So y’know how sometimes you think to yourself, “Self, that there actor is interesting.  And sort of… interesting.  In an… interesting sort of way…”  And then you don’t ever really think about that particular actor much ever again?

Did you watch Masterpiece Mystery this past week?  They’re running BBC’s “Case Histories”.  You should check it out.  ‘Cause seriously:

 

Lucius Malfoy?

 

Michael Caffee?

 

That scary guy from The Patriot?

I mean, fine.  Jason Isaacs is a good lookin’ dude.   But….  evil villains… not really my type.

 

(Government-sanctioned psychopathic killers?  Totally my type.

 

But I digress.

You’re welcome.)

 

Annnnyway…. Jason Isaacs.  Case Histories.  The good guy.

 

I want one for Christmas.

We leave cookies for Santa.  I think Santa should, y’know, reciprocate.

Datenight Redux.

 

Whoo hoo!  I have a date tonight!!

 

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah.  The Husband will be there too.

 

Whatever.

 

DATENIGHT!  WHOOT!

It Just Keeps Getting Weirder.

Dear Gentle Readers.  I now have proof—proof, mind you-- of The Weirdness Of The World.  The following is the first draft of a post I was maybe going to put up today (but had decided was sort of silly):

Right.  So apparently due to his being a nurse, the Husband feels compelled to gossip like an old woman… er… I mean, have interesting conversations with his co-workers.  Somehow last night the topic of Celebrity Free Passes came up (I guess they were discussing the movie "Hall Pass") and the Husband mentioned that he had "lost out" to (my celebrity boyfriends yes they are mine all mine no really oh just shut up who asked you anyway) Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig.  Which, when I heard this, I basically responded with much high-pitched derisive laughter and finger pointing and possibly the words, "Oh honey, you don't even make the list, it's a CELEBRITY free pass, you are not a celebrity and also I already have sex with you on a fairly routine basis you goof ball bahahahahahahahhahaha"  etc etc etc.

Um.  Right.  Possibly TMI. 

Ask me if I care.  Go on, ask.  I am in a MOOD today people.  Don't push me.

Annnywho, The Husband scowled at me over his hamburger and then this happened: he started listing his Celebrity Free Pass list.

At which point I became deeply, deeply disturbed.  Because really?  Those are some scary-ass women.  Like, people whom I wouldn't even want to be in the same room with, let alone anything else.  Rachel Wiesz springs to mind.  That woman gives me the heebie-jeebies.  I have no idea why.  She just does.  And

 

That’s as far as I got.

This is what happened yesterday:

W.T.F.??

 

 

edit: in the interest of clarity, I should maybe note that I usually write my posts two-three days in advance… in this case, I wrote on Friday.

Over The Moon.

In response to my (seemingly endless supply of) posts regarding my new movie-star boyfriend Daniel Craig, Jacquie wrote,

“Weirdly coincidentally I just came back from lunch with a friend who has been on her honeymoon in Italy and had found herself sitting at the next table to Daniel Craig in a restaurant -and it was the males she was with who got all celebrity struck. She did say he was even more attractive in the flesh. Is that possible?”

I mean, really.  Really?  Proof yet again that I am never in the right place at the right time.

But how wonderful does her girlfriend’s honeymoon sound?  Newly married?  Italy?  Going to places frequented by the Rich and Famous (and Totally Hot)?  That is excellent.

Here’s where I went on my honeymoon: Pukekohe.  From Papakura.  Rather surprisingly, there was a stunning lack of rich or famous or totally hot (uh… which we won’t mention to the Husband lest he get, you know, a complex).  Anyway, Honeymoon.  Pukekohe.  Seriously.

 

This is hilariously funny.  Everyone from New Zealand is sniggering right now.  Heavily.  It’s like saying you went on honeymoon from Chicago to Skokie or Minneapolis to Burnsville or, I don’t know, Jersey City to Newark…. if any of those towns in question had about 10,000 people in them.  And a significantly large selection of tractors for sale.  Also, you know, more than three stores selling sheep food. 

OK, fine.  Sheep don’t actually eat food you buy at a store.  Whatever.  You get the point.

It’s a good thing I’m so low-maintenance.

If Only Life Were Like The Interwebs…

So the other day I posted “Date Night”.   Pure drivel really, but having the distinct advantage of showcasing multiple pictures of Daniel Craig in various states of dress, undress and dustiness (I am not one hundred percent sure why this man gets hotter as he gets dustier, but there you go).

A few hours later, I happened to meander over to The Slapdash Sewist.  She has a substantial blog list, if you never noticed.  And when I glanced over to it?  My eye beheld this thing of beauty:

Um.  Doesn’t that totally look like I went on Date Night with Daniel Craig?

That is awesome.

I have resolved to henceforth live my life only as it might look if viewed through blog caps on the internet.  Next week?  I make a gourmet dinner for 17 for under $3.50.

Date Night

Last month?  X-men First Class.

This month?  The Hangover.

Next month? Cowboys and Aliens!

 

The Husband said in a huff, "You only want to see that because it has Daniel Craig in it."

 

 

To which I wittily replied, "Well, DUH."

 

 

But in fact: Cowboys! Aliens! Harrison-Freakin'-Ford!

What’s not to like?

 

 

And of course Daniel Craig.

Genii R Us

I finally have had a chance to get to some sewing this week.  I really just can not tell you how much I hate May.  But now it’s June and we’re all ready for summer to start--  oh wait.  It’s been over 100 degrees for the past week.  I guess summer started a while ago.

In any case, I finally got around to looking at my custom-drafted t-shirt pattern ala Cal Patch’s Weird Custom Drafting Book, a.k.a. Design-It-Yourself Clothes.  Which I wrote about in this post.  To recap, after some serious fitting adjustments I basically ended up with a sloper with side bust darts.  And that’s where I left it.

This week I picked up that pattern and decided that I would try adding some wearing ease (not present in the final pattern), some adjustments for my hunchback (always present on my body) and see what happened (usually a nerve-wracking experience).

What happened is I created the perfect t-shirt.  No.  Really.  It’s perfect.  I am a flippin’ genius and you must bow down and worship the ground I, uh, sew on.

Don’t believe me?  Fine.  Be like that.

Here’s the final (blurry) result, in which I added a more scooped neckline and left the bust dart in place.

I  used a light-weight poly knit of some mysterious type which I bought from Emma One Sock about four years ago.  It is awesome.  Here’s a more color-appropriate swatch:

Here’s the (burry) side view and the (blurry) back view.

OK, so it’s maybe slightly too loose around the middle.  I wasn’t sure how the fabric would hang and I didn’t want it to be clingy.  I could take it in a quarter-inch on both sides probably.

And OK, it was really hard to get a good picture on my own (but significantly easier than trying to get The Husband to understand what qualifies as a “good” picture). 

So you might not, in fact, be able to appreciate my genius sufficiently.  But trust me when I say that this top is the best-fitting and most flattering top I’ve owned in a while.  Plus, because I have the darts in place, I can now move those around into gathers or pleats or whatever and make about a bajillion different styles.

Genius, I tell you.  And now I’ll have time to do some more.  I love June.

The month of June.  Not, you know, June Cleaver.  Although she could wear a mean pearl choker while, you know, baking cookies. Or whatever.

Right.  So when I Googled “June Cleaver” this is what I got:

Plus, this:

 

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I think “yummy” pretty much covers it.  I don’t know who this woman is that’s posting this stuff, but I loooove her.  She is my new hero.  Clearly, she is a genius. 

Takes one to know one.