Delirius thoughts from the sick & afflicted

So, the past week, we have ALL been sick.
First Hadley got it. She told me her tummy hurt and her head hurt "like there were too many songs in it", and then the vomiting began. Bless her little heart. She did NOT want to miss swimming lessons, so after I explained that she can't go because if she puked in the pool, all of swimming would be canceled so they could clean up the pool and that wouldn't be fair to the other kids. Her reply was: Mom, I will just puke in my mouth, not in the pool. So I let her go....JOKING people!! We stayed home and had a few tears over it.
Next to get it was Tanner. I am not sure that there was a surface or room that wasn't puked on. From the front porch, to the kitchen, to the bathroom, the all three bedrooms, to the laundry room. And those were the times he didn't make it to the toilet. Poor little man.
I was the next to fall victim, and I think death would have been an easier alternative. It's been a long time since I have been that sick.
And now, Boyd has it. And he hasn't been this sick since he accidently innoculated himself with a west nile virus horse shot. (THAT - is another story!!)
The point of all of this yummy puke talk is this: While in the depths of hell, I wondered aloud to myself, (and anyone else that would listen) what did the pioneers do for their physical ailments? Meaning, if I were trucking across the plains right now, and got as sick as I did this week, there is NO Way I could have kept going. And that means on foot or riding in a wagon. The thought of that bouncing and bumping wagon turns my stomach just thinking about it!
So, what did they do? What were some of the remedies that they used? 'Cause I don't know, but really would like to. Any thoughts or ideas or old journals on the subject?
The only things I have stumbled upon for nausea and vomiting are: Ginger Ale (which I DON'T think works, Cola Syrup (which you can buy at a pharmacy, but so far hasn't been effective on Boyd), and tonight I heard Grape Seed Extract, but haven't tried it.
I would be very interested in any ideas or remedies that everyone has, other than a bullet. Maybe we can start some funky new grandma's home remedies blog!
That might be a lot of fun. Well, better go check on my man. Poor guy. I might even let him be excused from his honey do's tomorrow!!
Hatch's (sick and well)....out!

Hatch-isms

So I decided that I really needed to write down some of my kids' sayings, before I forget them all. One day they will thank me, and the Therapist will know why I am insane. I'll have proof.



So, Miss Hadley. She has developed quite the imagination. She LOVES to go to dad's office and take him lunch, all by herself. No one else in the car is allowed to go. So...the other day we were taking daddy lunch and she says Only I get to take lunch in because he's my dad, right mom? And her friend Katarina says, "You mean, you and Tanner", and without even missing a breath Hadley said: "Well, we're not really sure who Tanner's dad is."



The following day we were driving to school and it started to Hail. Tanner kept saying "Look Mama, it's snowing" and I would say, no, it's hailing, and he would say, No it's snow. So Hadley offered him this explanation: You know Tanner, "It's snowing like Hell". Makes sense, right?



Last night Hadley informed me that "In the Olden Days, Wal-Mart was named Fart-Mart. But now that it's the Latter days, its called Wal-Mart."

This Spring we got some more chicks. We had them in the house under a heat lamp the first couple of weeks. During the night one of them died. Hadley came in and woke me up to tell me that one of them had died. I said it is probably just sleeping, and then I went back to sleep. A few minutes later we had the same conversation. About a half hour later she woke me up and said: "Mom, the chick is still dead. But don't worry, I gave it a blessing, and it's going to go live with God." That of course woke me right up! What! I exclaimed. She said again, "the chick is still dead, so I gave it a blessing and it's going to go live with God. Because don't you think that Heavenly Father wants chickens to live at his house? So...to end this story...when she was getting dressed for the day, I went and threw the chicken in the garbage. (Didn't have time to recycle to the coyotes that day!) When she came back in to check on the chicks she about exploded out of her little self with excitement..."Mom! Mom! Heavenly Father came to our house and got the chick!!!!!!" So, I had to completely shatter her little faith and explained that the chick was in the garbage (WHAT?? Was I Supposed To LIE?), but it's spirit is in heaven. Just like when we bury people in the earth, and their spirits go to heaven.

Primary Days. Oh to be a fly on the wall in primary. At home I had been talking to Hadley about all of our body parts and what they do and why they are important. We had a lengthy discussion while she was in the bathtub and we were washing our "parts". So, one of her very first ever days in Primary, the sharing time lesson was talking something about how Heavenly Father and Jesus are just like us. They have hands and arms and legs, etc. And my precious child raised her hand and said: "Yeah - and Jesus even has a crotch!" I am soooooooo glad that I wasn't much more specific about all of our parts! And I am sooooo thankful that they still let the Hatch's go to church~!

Another Primary incident occured when they were talking about why we are baptised. The leaders asked the question and Hadley raised her hand and said, We get baptised because if we don't Jesus will take us for a walk...and kill us. Can you say show-stopper???? I just about died when I heard, and about six hours later, after hyperventilating, and feeling like the biggest failure as a parent EVER!! - we had a discussion about her unusual comment. Just to put everyone's mind at ease, apparently she thought they were talking about the crucifixion and she was saying that Jesus went for a walk (carrying the cross) and then they killed him. You know, somehow I just don't think that if they do an updated version of "out of the mouth of babes" with cute Primary kids giving answers to gospel questions, somehow I just don't think they will call the Hatch's. NEVER ask a four year old or more specifically MY four year old an important gospel question. It's just safer that way.

Well, I'd better end for now. I guess my next post will have to be dedicated to my little Tanner man and his silliness. If he survives that long. We are trying to survive the Monstrous Three's. One of us might not make it.

Hatch's ...out.