Friends...Insecurties...Relationship

Life has been crazy as is normal for us.  Bry is still working all sorts of crazy hours, however with the new store manager and a new scheduler is seems he is getting at least one day a weekend off and only closing a couple of nights a week.  (Now that I typed it, I am sure things will get tossed in a fury!)  He is in week 7 of 10 of his class and we are looking forward to another 10 weeks.  We are trying to decide if he should take 2 or just stick with the 1 class.  We are so ready for him to be done, but don't want to push things by doing too much and not having time for family.  I am sure God will lead us in the right direction. 
Our monthly Bible Study as been going really well, we have been breaking up guys and girls and it works out great.  The guys are able to study the things they like and us girls have been studying what we want.  We have been reading the Beth Moore book, So Long Insecurity. It is such a good book (I hate to read and can honestly say I have read almost 8 chapters and still reading.)  We have learned so much about insecurities, the cause of them, how to deal with them, how the devil thrives on them and of course the most important, how God wants us to deal with them. Last Friday we had such a good study...we have been moving very slow through the book, we are women, we get caught up talking!  However, I truly believe God has us right where he needs us.  So many of us had moments of realization last week that if we would have been anywhere else in the book we may not have been able to overcome some of the obstacles that are in our lives.  It is amazing how God knows what we need, when we need it and that it ALWAYS works out if we just let go and let God.  It is so funny how you can have a group of friends that you think you know so well and then all of a sudden you find out they have this insecurity, that you as their friend would have never seen that part of them as an insecurity.  As I get older (and wiser) I totally get that as you get older you just start getting things.  I mean, its just like you realize what matters and what doesn't and you can see the purpose in things that you couldn't before.  How is it that as a child you can't understand the "big picture?"  Why does it have to take living through it or watching someone live through it that you actually figure it out or start to understand it?  Why is it, that we let the devil control us and how we act and that we would rather listen to him then to truly know and have a relationship with the one and only person who knows us and loves us and wants only good for us?  I think that this book we are reading is going to help us grow in ourselves and to realize our insecurities and those of our friends and be able to overcome the negative that insecurities bring into our lives. 
One more thing and then this ramble will be over....
God has been speaking to me pretty heavy lately.  He wants me to commit to a relationship all the time, not just when its easy.  I am sure if you are reading this you know me, I am a Christian and I believe in God as my One and only Savior.  I know he is with me through everything I do and I know He will love me no matter what I do.  But, I am so ignorant when it comes to His word and I am not confident in the knowledge I have.  I have never been one to study the Bible...I guess I have never known how to study.  People say you just have to open it and God will put you where you need to be, but I just can't grasp that.  As I stated before, I hate to read....for me reading needs to have a purpose and even then, I don't always finish what I start.  I need to commit to my relationship with God, I need to prove to myself that I am stronger then my insecurities and that I can do what God wants me to do. 
OK, its out there...now to follow through! 
Here is to a new relationship and a stronger me!

Way over due!

Life with two precious boys has been an adjustment. It is the best thing that could have ever happened to Bryant and I. We just love being parents and love our boys so much. I am not even going to play catch up from the past 17 months, instead I'll start right where we are.

Bryant is still going to school online through Capella. He is studying Finance. We hope that in he will be graduated in less then two years. We are grateful for Home Depot, but are ready to move on. Bryant's hours are only getting worst, he is working lots of mid and closing shifts and with me working full time its very hard on all four of us. The boys and I go as many as 3 days without even getting to spend time with him. God has blessed us though, we have jobs, a roof over our head, clothes on our bodies and the ability to eat good healthy meals.

I am still at the Sheriff's Office, I am now the Office Manager and have great co-workers. I don't know what I would do without them. They are always there for me and we have really grown close over the past 17 months.



Curtis Wade, well he is 4 and the best big brother anyone could ever ask for. He is a superhero in training! He is anything from Spiderman, to Batman, to Power Ranger! He can write his own name and can spell and read all his colors. He is so smart and just amazes us so much. He has quite the imagination too. The other day we were talking and he said, "Mommy, did you know you brain is like a battey, if it stops working we can't move." How do you know that Curtis? "Mommy God told me!" Then he was talking about something else our body does, and I asked him how he knew that, his response, "Mommy, I told you God told me, He knows everything and He told me!" It was like a well duh Mom, don't you know? He keeps us on our toes and is always reminding us that kids are so innocent and perfect and if we adults would just slow down we would be able to hear God telling us the answers.
This picture says it all! He is getting to be such a big boy!!



Lucas is a hoot! 17 months old and he is just so funny, he knows how to light up a room. He looks up to his "bubby" so much. He has started to really start using his words the last few weeks. He says mommy or momma and I just love that! He keeps going through sleepless nights though. I am not sure if it is him teething or what the problem is, but it would sure be nice for him to sleep! The poor kid only has about 8 teeth at the most right now and his 2 top front teeth are still not in all the way. My kids teeth so slow and it just seems to go on forever! He is also going through the mommy stage pretty hard right now. I don't mind too much ;) He is starting to LOVE to read and one of his favorite things to do is to take the cushion off his rocker and climb up in there with a bunch of books. It is just too cute!

I will try to keep up with the blog a little better. We did some remodeling of the kitchen, so I will show some pictures of that soon. We shall see how the updates go, just know I have good intentions! Here are my two precious boys!

I will be back...

So, its been a year. My goal is to get back into this so family and friends not so close and close to us can see what we are up to. With fall will come more blogging!! Talk to you soon!

Life with Two!

Where to begin? Two is different then one, that is for sure. I think the baby is easier the second time around. I feel comfortable with him and actually feel like I know what I am doing. The problem is my 3 year old. He is NOT a problem, the problem is with ME. I can't figure out if I am expecting him to do more then he should be able to or if he is not listening, or if I have no patience. So, it might be all of the above!! It is hard to get all of Curtis' needs meet while trying to meet all of Lucas'. The problem I feel is that Lucas really needs me right now, the first few months are the most important in a child's life. I have to assure Lucas that he is loved and the only way I can do that is by comforting him when he is crying and feeding him (every two hours.) Curtis does really great with Lucas, he is the best big brother. He loves Lucas so much and he never seems to notice that I have to tend to Lucas. I try so hard to have patience for Curtis and to play monster trucks with him and to sit with him at lunch, and to do bed time routine. I am trying to keep CW's life as normal as possible while adding in this "minor" addition, Lucas! I find myself getting so frustrated with Curtis and getting after him for something that a few weeks ago I would have never got after him for. He is so sweet, he just looks at me and goes on. Then I feel so awful because I know I have done wrong by getting after him. So, I apologized and he asks, "why are you sorry?" I just tell him that Mommy isn't always as patient as I should be. He is like whatever mommy, I still love you. He has told me so much, "Mommy, I like you!" Oh, how I "Like" LOVE him. I just pray for patience and tolerance and that I can hold my temper. My beautiful little boy doesn't need to be the receiver of my bad behavior. Being a mommy is sure going to teach me a few thousand things! Hopefully, I can get better every day and that my little boys always know that I LOVE them more then they can imagine and that their mommy does make mistakes, but will always try to admit when she does and apologize.

Now...for some pics!!

It's a BOY!!

We would like to introduce Lucas Bryant Hicks, born August 19, 2010 at 12:38 pm. He weighed 6lbs 8oz and was 20in long.
Lucas made things exciting the last week. I knew I wasn't in actual labor, but I had lots of pre-labor with him. I actually had to leave work on Tuesday 8/17 because everything hit me like a ton of bricks. It was amazing how it happened. I went from minor contractions off and on to a complete sweat, the shakes and stronger contractions. If Lucas would have been my first I would have been at the hospital, but since I had done this before, I was sure this was not the real deal. I did go ahead and take Wed. off of work too. I had initially planned to work till Thurs. 8/19, but after the quick departure on Tues. I decided to stay home and relax and not cause any drama at work!

Bry and I got to the hospital at 6:00am on Thursday morning and they officially started the patocin at 7:30. I started out at 2cm and 70%. Dr. Moon broke my water about 8:30. She said I was about 3cm. By 9:30 I was hurting pretty bad, but I seriously didn't want to get the epidural too early. I was still able to get up and go to the bathroom and I really do enjoy the birthing process. I didn't want to miss the whole thing due to being numb. I called LeighAnn to see when she got her epidural and how close her contractions were. My were about 3-4 minutes apart and they were pretty strong. I decided to go ahead with the epidural about 10:00 (which is seriously the best drug ever invented!) Life got pretty easy from there. My parents, grandparents, Iris and Alan (cousin who works at Clarian North) went to lunch at 11:00. They got back to the room around noon and the nurse wanted to check me...so out they all went again. The nurse said, "the other nurses told me I should check you, they think your ready to go." I said, "Are you serious?" I wasn't sure I was ready for this yet! She checked me and said, "well you are a 9...no your a 10...wait try to push...your complete we will have a baby in about an hr!" I look over at Bryant, who is out cold because he put in his 40 hrs in 3 days and said to her, "should I wake him up?" She said, "no we got to get things prepped and ready." She let the family back in and I looked at them and said, "well, we are going to have a baby in about an hr!" They were shocked and excited. Bry finally woke up and he actually left the room to get something to drink and in came the nurse ready for me to push. I was like, wait...my family needs out of here and my husband needs in. So we got everyone in the right place and I swear Bry was still asleep. Once we started pushing Lucas' heart rate kept dropping. I had two nurses, the second nurse walked in and said, "how we doing?" Nurse 1 said, "she is a great pusher, babies heart rate keeps dropping I'm calling Dr. Moon we are going to get this baby out!" I am in panic mode...I just want this baby out and I am freaking out their is something wrong with him and he is not going to make it. The nurse shows me this tool and says sometimes we have to use this to get the baby out, I am going to put it right here so if we need it you know what is going on. I start crying, but I am trying to stay strong and focused on what needs to be done. Dr. Moon comes in and she gets all ready and about 4 pushes later we had Lucas Bryant! The problem with his heart rate was that the cord was wrapped around his neck. Dr. Moon did amazing and got it right off and all was fine from there on!

Week of Fun!

We had a great week with our friends Da Maines! They hung out with us here in IN for a few days, we celebrated the 4th of July together and the rest of the time we just enjoyed doing a whole lot of nothing! It was so nice to have nothing to do but hang out with friends. CW and Dylo reconnected very fast too, it was like they saw each other last week! We decided to go to St. Louis for a few days and hang out which would also help the drive back to Texas be a little shorter for Bo & Leah. We had a great time! I have attached some pictures from our time in St. Louis!

(I hate the way pictures post on here, so I'll do my best to explain them and make it look nice!) The first night we were in St. Louis we ate at Fridays, the food was good, but man was it expensive! They had like a 15% sales tax, because we were next to the ball field and then they added 18% gratuity because our table spent over $75.00. Seriously, it was sickening how much it was for just Fridays. But, we still had fun! We went on a carriage ride after dinner, the boys just sat in a trance. It was really nice! We also took some pictures in the park that was between our hotel and the Fridays we ate at! You will notice that Leah and I had to model our baby belly's off! She is about 8 weeks behind me and we just look good!

We went to the City Museum one day. It was really neat, but it was geared towards kids older then the boys. There were a lot of tunnels to go through and slides to go down, but where they came out we didn't know. So, sending your 2 and 3 year old down them was not an option. The dads were too big for some areas and well, I hate to say it, but so were Leah and I!! We ate a Pappy's BBQ after that, D slept through lunch, but CW was still going. We went back to the hotel and let both boys get their naps in and then went out for dinner. Our second day we went to the Arch. It was really neat, not sure I will ever go back to the top of it again, but it was a fun experience. It is some tight squeezing up there! We were going to go to another museum that had a dinosaur display that afternoon, but of course the dinos were gone. We decieded it would be best if we all just got on the road and headed home. I of course, broke down...I am getting back to being very emotional!! I calmed down and now I can even think back to the moment and not cry! :)

It was so nice to see Bo, Leah and Dylan again! We are truely blessed to have such good friends that we can go an entire year without seeing each other and then just pick up where we left off! Next time we see them we will no longer be able to use one car...we will be a party of 8!

Singing

So anyone that knows me, knows my little boy did NOT get this trait from me. Music is so not my thing, but he LOVES it just like his Daddy. By the way...who needs an audience when you can cheer for yourself?? He cracks me up!