Back in October things started going south at work. My hours were cut, as assistant to the head of HR I saw some of the most underhanded and unethical hr practices (ones that would make someone in HR 101 ask "What were they thinking? That's not legal!"), and I had some really bad, gut feelings about the intentions of my boss regarding my employment. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving I lost my job. The official word was that they had automated the phone system and no longer needed a receptionist, but there were a lot of politics involved in the decision. Through some work trainings I developed very close friendships with people that my boss has very bad feelings towards...and I'm thinking that since I had been out to lunch with her when she sat and bashed them for over an hour at a time, it really unnerved her that I had suddenly become very close to these men (who could fire her if they would just grow a pair).
As a result of the stress I have subsequently developed an ulcer
There are days where I learn a lot from the predicament in which I find myself. I have had some beautiful experiences in the Temple. I have had a lot of time for self examination and made some important "discoveries". I have been able to start re-establishing some really important habits in my life. I've been able to serve and spend time with those that I love very dearly. This experience has truly not been all bad. My apartment is consistently clean--almost weird. Even just figuring out how to learn from what appears to be a bad situation has been something that I consider a blessing. I have made this work for my good...for the most part...
...but this morning I woke up feeling so discouraged and beaten...whether I've learned from this or not, the fact is that I am still unemployed. I'm the one who is supporting us right now and I don't have a job. Holy $#!+...I've sent out what seems like hundreds of resumes and coverletters in response to craigslist postings and I haven't heard back from one of them. Why not? I have a college degree, my husband helped me put together my resume and letter of intent--so they are flawless, I have experience in wide range of industries...and I can't get an interview to save my life. What do I do now?
I apologize to the three of you who read my blog on a somewhat regular basis...the only reason I feel like I can be so negative is that I know that not many people are gonna see this. I know this will all be fine, and everything will work out somehow--I would just feel so much better if I knew how. I'll be able to pull myself together in the next couple of hours...
How cool/fitting is the new background?!--I love it!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
For almost a month now I have tried to find a way to craft the perfect post. I have worked on it at the most random times, and never been able to finish because it always seemed off, or wrong somehow...but I now I'm starting to feel like the fact that my 2nd Anniversary was almost a month ago and I still haven't posted anything about it is even worse.
But then again, what do you say about getting to have another year married and sealed to the most wonderful person you've ever known? The line from Much Ado About Nothing comes to mind. Claudio just found out that Hero will marry him and everyone is pushing for him to say something--to make some sort of exclamation of joy, or proclamation of love. He responds to everyone by saying, "Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much."
And when I stop to think about Doug I understand what that statement means....I can't think of one thing that I could say that would not cheapen all that I feel. And I'm sure words don't exist in my mortal state that can do any justice to how wonderful Doug actually is.
But even so, I wanted the world (or at least the 3 people who read my blog) to know that I am blessed to be married to the kindest, sweetest, gentlest, funniest, smartest, most thoughtful, most intelligent, most patient, most loving, most talented, most understanding, most passionate, most wonderful man in the history of the world...
But then again, what do you say about getting to have another year married and sealed to the most wonderful person you've ever known? The line from Much Ado About Nothing comes to mind. Claudio just found out that Hero will marry him and everyone is pushing for him to say something--to make some sort of exclamation of joy, or proclamation of love. He responds to everyone by saying, "Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much."
And when I stop to think about Doug I understand what that statement means....I can't think of one thing that I could say that would not cheapen all that I feel. And I'm sure words don't exist in my mortal state that can do any justice to how wonderful Doug actually is.
But even so, I wanted the world (or at least the 3 people who read my blog) to know that I am blessed to be married to the kindest, sweetest, gentlest, funniest, smartest, most thoughtful, most intelligent, most patient, most loving, most talented, most understanding, most passionate, most wonderful man in the history of the world...
....in memory of....
My iPod died yesterday and I am heartbroken about it. Doug and I bought that with the Walmart gift card that someone gave us for our wedding. We have had that cute little iPod for over 2 years...it was our first big purchase as a married couple...every time I have gone to the gym for the last two years it has gone with me...we even went and bought a cute little arm band for me to carry it in, two sets of speakers (one for the home and one for my desk), and a car adapter, so that it could go with us where ever we went...and now it's gone . I'll miss you my cute little silver, 4GB iPod Nano--4th Generation.
...sigh...
So, I hear that now you get a 16GB iPod for cheaper than we got our 4GB...AWESOME!
...sigh...
So, I hear that now you get a 16GB iPod for cheaper than we got our 4GB...AWESOME!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
"Smart Horn Technology"
After taking a road trip to Idaho last weekend I have decided that "smart horns" need--absolutely NEED--to be developed.
I should start by defining this:
Smart Horn: a car horn with the ability to target a specific car, and only that car.
examples of drivers for whom this sort of horn is intended:
I should start by defining this:
Smart Horn: a car horn with the ability to target a specific car, and only that car.
examples of drivers for whom this sort of horn is intended:
- the car that is 4 cars in front of you, in the fast lane, is going 15mph BELOW the speed limit!
- the car behind you that is ridding your bumper
- the car that came from behind you, weaved in out, cut everyone else off, and is now 7 cars ahead of you
Friday, July 17, 2009
FYI
I just thought that everyone should know that my husband is the kindest, sweetest, funniest, smartest, most cleaver, most handsome, most selfless, most thoughtful, most dedicated, most wonderful man on the face of this Earth...and I am the most blessed woman on the face of this Earth.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
...sigh...
Do you ever have those days where you feel like you're in the way?...or you're doing something incorrectly?...or you're at the bottom of the totem pole? And for one, or all of these reasons you feel like nothing you say or do really matters. Everything as regards you belongs in the background.
those days really suck
Like I said a couple of posts ago, this job is great...but its just like anything else in life...it can't be phenomenal all the time, and when it rains it pours!
Que sara, I guess
"Hippies"
I finally figured out why I love hippies so much!...well, at least one reason...anyway.
Most people who know me, know that I used to work at a store called Good Earth. Its a health food store, and if there is a hippie population in Utah County they are sure to be found there. People who know me also know I lived in Northern California for the first half of my life, so hippies and health food stores are like home to me. But I recently had an experience there that showed me why I have such a soft spot for them--that goes way beyond their being familiar to me.
I was talking to someone who has become a dear friend of mine, and fits the category of "hippie" perfectly. I made some stupid comment (I can't even remember what now), thinking I was being funny. But--as with so many other things that come out of my mouth--I didn't really think about it first...and in the moments that followed its escape from my tounge I immediately saw how thoughtless and stupid it was to make such a comment. In trying to excuse myself for such a statement I made the comment, "Sorry, too much info..." to which my friend immediately responded, "There is no such thing."
At first I thought she was trying to be nice and spare me the embarrassment I was obviously feeling...but then I thought about it, and kept thinking about it...and I remembered different situations I had been in with her and people to whom I would say she is similar...and other conversations that I had had with these people...I don't know why it stuck with me so long, but a few days later I finally saw what she was actually saying. She was saying that if it was important to me, then it was important to her. If it was something that I wanted to say, then it was something that she wanted to hear. She didn't care if it was important, or silly, or groundbreaking, or insightful, or ridiculous...the fact that it came from someone she cares about was all she needed to make a statement worth listening to--not that she necessarily agreed with it...but she wouldn't ridicule it, or spurn further communication because of it. And I've seen those sentiment repeatedly expressed at Good Earth, by people whom I--and most others--would call "hippies"...
I've been thinking about that for months now...ever since it happened. And I've noticed that such love and warmth is not a very common thing. I have family who don't even treat my statements that way...not that I'm very good about treating the statements of others that way either, because I'm really not...but how sad is that? For the most part, we only want to hear certain things from each other. We have such boundaries as to what we're willing to listen to and discuss. Please don't misunderstand me. I really don't enjoy listening to anti-religious rhetoric, being so deeply religious myself. And it has to be admitted that there are some people with whom a conversation will accomplish nothing when it comes to some topics. But to refuse to listen to someone talk about their thoughts on some point of philosophy, or part--or maybe even all-- of their life's story...how sad is that? Think of what that sort of behavior may be leading us to miss out on. There is not much that is more beautiful than 2 souls understanding each other on one level or another...and for us to purposefully shut down that possibility of understanding is tragic!
Anyway...Point being that this is just one more reason that I think "hippies" are wonderful people, and well worth emulating in many--certainly not all--but many aspects.
Most people who know me, know that I used to work at a store called Good Earth. Its a health food store, and if there is a hippie population in Utah County they are sure to be found there. People who know me also know I lived in Northern California for the first half of my life, so hippies and health food stores are like home to me. But I recently had an experience there that showed me why I have such a soft spot for them--that goes way beyond their being familiar to me.
I was talking to someone who has become a dear friend of mine, and fits the category of "hippie" perfectly. I made some stupid comment (I can't even remember what now), thinking I was being funny. But--as with so many other things that come out of my mouth--I didn't really think about it first...and in the moments that followed its escape from my tounge I immediately saw how thoughtless and stupid it was to make such a comment. In trying to excuse myself for such a statement I made the comment, "Sorry, too much info..." to which my friend immediately responded, "There is no such thing."
At first I thought she was trying to be nice and spare me the embarrassment I was obviously feeling...but then I thought about it, and kept thinking about it...and I remembered different situations I had been in with her and people to whom I would say she is similar...and other conversations that I had had with these people...I don't know why it stuck with me so long, but a few days later I finally saw what she was actually saying. She was saying that if it was important to me, then it was important to her. If it was something that I wanted to say, then it was something that she wanted to hear. She didn't care if it was important, or silly, or groundbreaking, or insightful, or ridiculous...the fact that it came from someone she cares about was all she needed to make a statement worth listening to--not that she necessarily agreed with it...but she wouldn't ridicule it, or spurn further communication because of it. And I've seen those sentiment repeatedly expressed at Good Earth, by people whom I--and most others--would call "hippies"...
I've been thinking about that for months now...ever since it happened. And I've noticed that such love and warmth is not a very common thing. I have family who don't even treat my statements that way...not that I'm very good about treating the statements of others that way either, because I'm really not...but how sad is that? For the most part, we only want to hear certain things from each other. We have such boundaries as to what we're willing to listen to and discuss. Please don't misunderstand me. I really don't enjoy listening to anti-religious rhetoric, being so deeply religious myself. And it has to be admitted that there are some people with whom a conversation will accomplish nothing when it comes to some topics. But to refuse to listen to someone talk about their thoughts on some point of philosophy, or part--or maybe even all-- of their life's story...how sad is that? Think of what that sort of behavior may be leading us to miss out on. There is not much that is more beautiful than 2 souls understanding each other on one level or another...and for us to purposefully shut down that possibility of understanding is tragic!
Anyway...Point being that this is just one more reason that I think "hippies" are wonderful people, and well worth emulating in many--certainly not all--but many aspects.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Grammar 101: Learn to say what you think you're saying
**(YAY--I remembered one of the posts that I wanted to make)**
I would never claim to be a wiz in English. And if I did I know quite a few people who would call foul, because I am probably one of the worst spellers under the sun, and I know/admit it. That fact entitles me to create this post.
In second grade I learned about something called a homonym. It's a word that sounds exactly like another word, but is spelled differently and means something different.
Examples:
Examples:
I would never claim to be a wiz in English. And if I did I know quite a few people who would call foul, because I am probably one of the worst spellers under the sun, and I know/admit it. That fact entitles me to create this post.
In second grade I learned about something called a homonym. It's a word that sounds exactly like another word, but is spelled differently and means something different.
Examples:
- there and their
- to, too, and two
- weak and week
- steak and stake
As a second grader this was a little difficult for me to understand. If they mean two different things why wouldn't we just use two different words?...but it is what it is, I learned it, and its no big deal. So why do I see people mixing them up all over the place?! And I'm not talking about these mix ups occurring in someones notes, or text messages or anything, I'm talking about proof-reading a classmate's paper when I was in college, or the editing of certain work manuals that I have had to for my job and finding "their" instead of "there", or "to" instead of "too". People who are supposedly very well educated and professionally successful drop the ball on this simple concept over and over and over again. If I could get it-- with my lack of flare for the English language-- I don't understand what is so difficult about it for other people! IF YOU ARE MAKING THIS MISTAKE THEN YOU ARE NOT SAYING WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE SAYING!!!
And if we add contractions to homonyms, all of a sudden absolute grammatical mayhem ensues! What is a contraction?--based on the extent to which they are misused I know there is someone out there asking. A contraction is a shortened form of a word or group of words, with the omitted letters often replaced in written English by an apostrophe.Examples:
- you are = you're
- do not = don't
- I am = I'm
But instead of finding "you're" I often find "your"--which is a posessive and has nothing to do with someone's state of being. And instead of finding "they're", I fequently find "there"--which refers to a location and still has nothing to do with anyone's state of being. As far as I can tell this only happens because the two words sound the same! IF YOU ARE MAKING THIS MISTAKE THEN YOU ARE NOT SAYING WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE SAYING!!!
Then there are words that get mixed up because they sound the same, but the only reason they sound the same is be cause we have horrid announciation. I don't think words like this even have a name, because no one anticipated that we would stupid enough to mix them up.
Examples:
- our & are
- then & than
IF YOU ARE MAKING THIS MISTAKE THEN YOU ARE STILL NOT SAYING WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE SAYING!!!
BONUS: The other week at work I was editing job descriptions for the company, and found "etc." abreviated as "ext."--still not saying what you think you're saying!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Our Wedding Day Was Perfect
This is a video that I made using pictures from our wedding day--I did it as a surprise Doug for our first anniversary (some of them are proofs so they have my photographer's stamp across them. Free advertising for him--you're welcome John Sharpe). As I went back and watched it this morning I saw how many candid pictures there are of me laughing...and I realized that not only did I have a beautiful, dream wedding day because I had so many beautiful things, but also because Doug and I had the right perspective about it all. It was a perfect day because I wasn't behaving like some stick-in-the-mud bridezilla about everything--and I could have because there were plenty of things that went wrong, let me tell ya!
**Just a few examples of what did not go as planned are, 1.) Some of the guys in the wedding party got the wrong color vest/ties, 2.) Thanksgiving Pointe lost the music for our reception and didn't find it for over half an hour, and 3.) Not one member of either of our families was on time for pre-reception pictures, or even the reception itself--guests started arriving before any of our family members...and because of that we didn't get all the pictures that we wanted with our families which is really sad.**
But when Doug and I decided to get married we also decided that anything less than forever with eachother would never be enough. Because of that perspective, our Temple marriage meant more to us than the way people were dressed or what was playing in the backround. That day was the beginning of our forever, and there was not one a single thing or person that could lessen the love and joy that we felt--we finally had eachother, everything else was a bonus!Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Bad Day
I has been a pretty awful day today, and I couldn't even begin to explain why--as far as I can tell there was no reason: I got off work early cuz there was nothing for me to do, I got to hang out with family tonight and that is always fun...and yet, somehow, for some dumb reason I'm still fighting tears.
And it's always on days like this that I miss a very dear friend. It was never a romantic relationship--he was married and had 2 children when I knew him. He was a grad-student in my program and helped me out so much!--he gave me tips for handling some of the professors in the department, helped me take a different look at some of the things I was learning in my classes, and opened my eyes up to new ways of viewing certain situations. And somehow he turned out to be the friend that I needed more than anything at that time in my life-- a time when I felt like there was no one else on this planet that I could talk to, and even if I did talk to them they would never understand. Then when Doug got home from his mission this friend got to know Doug and became a dear friend to both of us. A month before Doug and I got married he and his family moved out to another part of the country...and I haven't spoken to him since--I didn't even get to give him a wedding announcement (I missed him by 2 days). I wonder about him and how he is...I bet they have another child by now...I wonder if they had a little girl...I wonder what he would tell me about the things I'm facing now...I wonder what he would say about the way some of the things we used to talk about have evolved...
I always felt like he talked to me like I was his little sister...but then I think that he probably treated all his friends that way (like they were family)--cuz he is just a really great person like that, and none of this seemed to be different to him. But it was different to me--I'm the oldest child in my family, and feeling like I had a big brother (someone to talk to about the guy I was dating, or how mad I was at my roommates, or how big of a jerk my professor was, and get his advice and perspectives) meant the world to me...and I miss it. And there is something about a day like today--when I'm sad for some unknown reason--that makes me miss him more.
And it's always on days like this that I miss a very dear friend. It was never a romantic relationship--he was married and had 2 children when I knew him. He was a grad-student in my program and helped me out so much!--he gave me tips for handling some of the professors in the department, helped me take a different look at some of the things I was learning in my classes, and opened my eyes up to new ways of viewing certain situations. And somehow he turned out to be the friend that I needed more than anything at that time in my life-- a time when I felt like there was no one else on this planet that I could talk to, and even if I did talk to them they would never understand. Then when Doug got home from his mission this friend got to know Doug and became a dear friend to both of us. A month before Doug and I got married he and his family moved out to another part of the country...and I haven't spoken to him since--I didn't even get to give him a wedding announcement (I missed him by 2 days). I wonder about him and how he is...I bet they have another child by now...I wonder if they had a little girl...I wonder what he would tell me about the things I'm facing now...I wonder what he would say about the way some of the things we used to talk about have evolved...
I always felt like he talked to me like I was his little sister...but then I think that he probably treated all his friends that way (like they were family)--cuz he is just a really great person like that, and none of this seemed to be different to him. But it was different to me--I'm the oldest child in my family, and feeling like I had a big brother (someone to talk to about the guy I was dating, or how mad I was at my roommates, or how big of a jerk my professor was, and get his advice and perspectives) meant the world to me...and I miss it. And there is something about a day like today--when I'm sad for some unknown reason--that makes me miss him more.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
You Have NO Idea How Much This Is Us
I realize the picture is small, so I'll type out what it says, because I'm nice, and kind, and helpful like that.Calvin (inside box, bottom, far left): "Let go of me you malevolent, murderous, moron!!"
Hobbes (inside box, bottom, middle): "Its morning now, we can DO stuff again!!!"
Calvin (outside box, bottom, center): "Its hard to be mad at someone who misses you while you're asleep."
Doug is Calvin (which is not really all that much of a surprise), and I am Hobbes!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
US
It is not unusual for Doug and I to disagree, and it's never difficult for us to voice our differences of opinion. Today we were having a rather animated conversation that bounced from subject to subject to subject. Close to the end of the conversation we had the following interchange:
Doug: What is up with you today?--it's like you're trying to pick a fight about everything!
Me: No I am NOT! (quite adamantly)
Doug thought I was just kidding with that response and we both laughed...but then he realized that I was laughing a little harder than he was--it didn't take him long to understand that I had been dead-serious with my response.
Honestly, it's not quite as funny when it's typed out like this, but we laughed for a good 5 mins. I thought it was hilarious!.........I love being us!
Doug: What is up with you today?--it's like you're trying to pick a fight about everything!
Me: No I am NOT! (quite adamantly)
Doug thought I was just kidding with that response and we both laughed...but then he realized that I was laughing a little harder than he was--it didn't take him long to understand that I had been dead-serious with my response.
Honestly, it's not quite as funny when it's typed out like this, but we laughed for a good 5 mins. I thought it was hilarious!....
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Additions to my Playlist
Some of my most vivid memories are being young and riding in the car with my mom...her music playing at full volume the whole time. I grew to love a lot of the music my mom would listen to on those drives, and the new additions to my playlist are some of my very favorites. This is my tribute to my mom and her wonderful taste in music!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Revelations
For those of you who don't know, BYU has a rule that students may not be in the apartment of a member of the opposite sex after midnight on week days and 1:30 on weekends (yeah...I think it's kinda dumb, but I signed the paper agreeing to abide by this rule and I did). What I recently found out was that while Doug and I were dating he would find a way to get me to leave the room for a few seconds--like running back to my room to grab a picture he wanted to see, or something like that--and set the clock in the front room of my appartment back a few minutes so that he could stay a little longer.
Maybe this will sound silly, but that made me feel so special. I thought that was one of the cutest, sweetest things I had ever heard! And finding this out made me fall even more in love Doug...sigh...
Maybe this will sound silly, but that made me feel so special. I thought that was one of the cutest, sweetest things I had ever heard! And finding this out made me fall even more in love Doug...sigh...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Rant / Vent-- and not a funny one
DISCLAIMER: This is not a nice/funny vent...I'm sick and ornery and today its showing! Also, this is NOT directed at anyone, because its not really that recent...its something I've been thinking about for a few months and I finally got to the point that I had to articulate it (it's days like these where the fact that I have a blog and don't just stick to journal is probably a bad thing).
Ya know what I hate? People who lecture!...let me rephrase; people who lecture with out knowing the full story. In the last year--as I've been dealing with some difficult personal situations--I'll begin to confide in some of the few people that I really trust enough to talk to about some fairly serious, personal things, but before I get half way through what I have to say they are already trying to tell me what I need to do to fix the problem. Like they know what I have to say--which I am betting they don't, because none of the advice they give me is new, or anything I haven't already thought about (and they would know that if they'd let me finish), nor does it help! It feels so insulting on so many levels:
Before I finish I want to say that I know that most of how I feel in response to these people is most likely not what is actually happening...but that also doesn't change the fact that it feels that way.
...I know this isn't a very "pretty" view of some of my feelings, but it is as real as it gets...
Ya know what I hate? People who lecture!...let me rephrase; people who lecture with out knowing the full story. In the last year--as I've been dealing with some difficult personal situations--I'll begin to confide in some of the few people that I really trust enough to talk to about some fairly serious, personal things, but before I get half way through what I have to say they are already trying to tell me what I need to do to fix the problem. Like they know what I have to say--which I am betting they don't, because none of the advice they give me is new, or anything I haven't already thought about (and they would know that if they'd let me finish), nor does it help! It feels so insulting on so many levels:
- It feels like arrogance on their part; like they have the ability to give me advice about situations that I know they don't understand--we're talking about people that I have known for either 10+ years, people that I know very intimately, or a combination of the two--and either way I know for sure that they have not dealt with the issues at hand...yet somehow they believe themselves to be qualified to point out what I'm doing wrong, what I need to fix, and what I don't know. I would never claim that I'm perfect and that I'm doing everything perfectly--of course there are things for me to change and fix, and plenty that I don't know...but it doesn't happen to be the things that these people are pointing out. Ya know why? Because these people don't know what they're talking about; not only is it a situation around which they are unable to wrap their heads, but they didn't even let me finish in the first place!--and that makes it impossible for them to know what they're talking about!
- It feels like what I'm saying is not important; it's not even worth 10 minutes to let me fully explain the situation and then express my feelings about the situation. My feelings, and the situation itself are both trivialized by the fact that they assume that they know where I'm going with this...what is so hard about just LISTENING?--maybe I don't even want them to tell me what to do! Maybe I just want someone to take the time to understand me, and who I am, and what I'm facing, and how I approach/view it. Maybe I just want to know that someone else knows what's going on and is there for me--that I'm not alone...
- But when all they want to do is fix the situation it doesn't necessarily feel like they're trying to fix it out of love for me. It feels more like either they don't care enough to want to be there for me--so they just want to get the situation over with as quickly as possible, or they want to find personal glory in "fixing me".
Before I finish I want to say that I know that most of how I feel in response to these people is most likely not what is actually happening...but that also doesn't change the fact that it feels that way.
...I know this isn't a very "pretty" view of some of my feelings, but it is as real as it gets...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Movie Theater Ettiquette...or Lack Thereof
This last weekend my sister and I went to see a movie. One of the trailers for this movie was for the 6th Harry Potter that will be coming out in July. Both my sister and I are HUGE HP fans and we got so excited sitting right there in the theater. She leaned over to me and whispered, "We're totally going to the very first midnight showing!", and I--of course--agreed.
But for some reason I started thinking about it this week...and it occurred to me...WHY would I WANT to go opening night?...or even opening weekend for that matter!!! When Doug and I went to see The Dark Knight on opening weekend it was ridiculous! There were people talking in totally regular voices--and not even about the movie. There were people making noises with all of their food wrappers. And the absolute worst was that there were were 2 or 3 year-old children that were TERRIFIED by the movie, but their selfish parents wouldn't leave, so on top of all the other noises there were crying children and parents trying to keep them quiet (I could on and on and on about how much it upsets me that parents are stupid enough to take their children to a movie that they know full well is not appropriate for them--those poor little kids are probably gonna have nightmares for the next 10 years!)...anyway, the price of the ticket was 8 or 9 dollars, and all of the rude, thoughtless people made it SO not worth it!!!
Now another thing you should understand about me--and probably the reason I'm so offended by these other people in the theaters--is that I was raised to be considerate...in the extreme, and anyone who knows my mother will totally vouch for this. And when I say "extreme" I mean that I will get into the theater, and unwrap all of my food, break it up if I need to, and get everything ready so that I will be making no noise as I eat during the movie. And--just ask Doug--I will not talk to anyone after the trailers, except maybe to say, "Oh, yeah we saw "this" actor in "that"movie.
So now that I've rehashed all of that, the opening night of Harry Potter (a movie that is going to be fairly dark and intense) doesn't sound all that appealing; parents bringing their 2 and 3 year old children--who will be crying while Harry and Dumbledore are in the cave, all those crazy people that will be screaming (every time Harry or Ron or Hermione enter a scene) and dressed up, along with all the other dumb people will be talking and making noise with their food...I think I'd rather wait 'till the movie has been out for a week and then go on a Thursday afternoon!
But for some reason I started thinking about it this week...and it occurred to me...WHY would I WANT to go opening night?...or even opening weekend for that matter!!! When Doug and I went to see The Dark Knight on opening weekend it was ridiculous! There were people talking in totally regular voices--and not even about the movie. There were people making noises with all of their food wrappers. And the absolute worst was that there were were 2 or 3 year-old children that were TERRIFIED by the movie, but their selfish parents wouldn't leave, so on top of all the other noises there were crying children and parents trying to keep them quiet (I could on and on and on about how much it upsets me that parents are stupid enough to take their children to a movie that they know full well is not appropriate for them--those poor little kids are probably gonna have nightmares for the next 10 years!)...anyway, the price of the ticket was 8 or 9 dollars, and all of the rude, thoughtless people made it SO not worth it!!!
Now another thing you should understand about me--and probably the reason I'm so offended by these other people in the theaters--is that I was raised to be considerate...in the extreme, and anyone who knows my mother will totally vouch for this. And when I say "extreme" I mean that I will get into the theater, and unwrap all of my food, break it up if I need to, and get everything ready so that I will be making no noise as I eat during the movie. And--just ask Doug--I will not talk to anyone after the trailers, except maybe to say, "Oh, yeah we saw "this" actor in "that"movie.
So now that I've rehashed all of that, the opening night of Harry Potter (a movie that is going to be fairly dark and intense) doesn't sound all that appealing; parents bringing their 2 and 3 year old children--who will be crying while Harry and Dumbledore are in the cave, all those crazy people that will be screaming (every time Harry or Ron or Hermione enter a scene) and dressed up, along with all the other dumb people will be talking and making noise with their food...I think I'd rather wait 'till the movie has been out for a week and then go on a Thursday afternoon!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Enough
What is "enough"? Where does "enough"come from? How you get to "enough"? I'm not talking about "Will I every have enough money?", instead I'm talking about "I've had enough and it's time for things to change." There are things about me and habits I have that I want to change...and most people seem to be able to make big changes in their lives because they get to that point of "enough is enough--I'm done with this". And even though I keep trying to change, and I feel like I get to that point, maybe I don't--because in about 3 weeks I'm back to my old habits. This makes me wonder if there is some secret about "enough" that I don't know...or is it just me?--am I just that messed up?--can I change?--am I just that different from everyone else? I never thought I was before , but now I'm starting to wonder...
No, even if I am messed up I have to be able to change. The possibility of change, and the ability to chose to change is one of main ideals around which so much of what I believe is built. I've seen change happen and choices made over and over again--I know they're real, and I know they are possible. So then why do I still feel like I'm missing something?
No, even if I am messed up I have to be able to change. The possibility of change, and the ability to chose to change is one of main ideals around which so much of what I believe is built. I've seen change happen and choices made over and over again--I know they're real, and I know they are possible. So then why do I still feel like I'm missing something?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Me being...me
I have had several people tell me that I need to start posting more, and for a long time my excuse for not doing so was "I don't have anything to say." But in the last few months that excuse has become as transparent to me, as I'm sure it always was to everyone else I ever gave it to. I'm not sure any of them would believe me if I told them that I have been trying to post more, and I've actually been wanting to--because I have. It seems like I have tried hundreds of times to sit down to add something to my blog, but every time I end up deleting it because it's something that I'm sure will sound ridiculous...and even admitting that sounds ridiculous to me. "Who cares what other people think?!"--that is supposed to be the attitude of an overly-opinionated, educated, adult, right? I'm starting to see what a hard time I have reaching out, and fully expressing anything that I feel--whether we're talking about something funny, philosophical, sad...anything!
Why?--I have a couple of ideas. I'm awful at getting to a point where any part of me is exposed--I've never been very good at vulnerability, just ask Doug. Putting it out there for the whole world to see?--how scary is that?!! And I'm not very good with words as it is. I have this one friend, and every time I read his blog I am so impressed at what he has to say, and the way he thinks it through, and how beautifully he words it...and I become intimidated, because I don't think I can frame things as beautifully or as cleverly as he does. How silly does all of this sound?--I sound like I'm in second grade!
Could it change? Yeah!--anything is possible.
Will it? I don't know
Why?--I have a couple of ideas. I'm awful at getting to a point where any part of me is exposed--I've never been very good at vulnerability, just ask Doug. Putting it out there for the whole world to see?--how scary is that?!! And I'm not very good with words as it is. I have this one friend, and every time I read his blog I am so impressed at what he has to say, and the way he thinks it through, and how beautifully he words it...and I become intimidated, because I don't think I can frame things as beautifully or as cleverly as he does. How silly does all of this sound?--I sound like I'm in second grade!
Could it change? Yeah!--anything is possible.
Will it? I don't know
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